MISS "JAX" AND SOME FLORIDA GOSSIP
"Or mebbe you 're intendin' of
Investments? Orange-plantin'? Pine?
Hotel? or Sanitarium? What above
This yea'th _can_ be your line?..."
SIDNEY LANIER ("A FLORIDA GHOST.")
It is the boast of Jacksonville (known locally by the convenient
abbreviation "Jax") that it stands as the "Gate to Florida." But the
fact that a gate is something through which people pass--usually without
stopping--causes some anguish to an active Chamber of Commerce, which
has been known to send bands to the railway station to serenade tourists
in the hope of enticing them to alight.
If I were to personify Jacksonville, it would be, I think, as an amiable
young woman, member of a domestic family, whose papa and mama had moved
to Florida from somewhere else--for it is as hard to find a native of
Jacksonville in that city as to find a native New Yorker in New York.
Miss Jacksonville's papa, as I conceive it, has prospered while daughter
has been growing up, and has bought for her a fine large house on a main
corner, where many people pass. Having reached maturity Miss
Jacksonville wishes to be in Florida society--to give, as it were,
house parties, like those of her neighbors, the other winter resorts.
She sees people passing her doors all winter long, and she says to
herself: "I must get some of these people to come in."
To this end she brushes off the walk, lays a carpet on the steps, puts
flowers in the vases, orders up a lot of fancy food and drink (from the
very admirable Hotel Mason), turns on the lights and the Victor, leaves
the front door invitingly open, and hopes for the best. Soon people
begin to come in, but as she meets them she discovers that most of them
have come to see papa on business; only a few have come on her account.
They help themselves to sandwiches, look about the room, and listen to
what Miss Jacksonville has to say.
Time passes. Nothing happens. She asks how they like the chairs.
"Very comfortable," they assure her.
"Do have some more to eat and drink," says she.
"What is your history?" a guest asks her presently.
"I haven't much history to speak of," she replies. "They tell me Andrew
Jackson had his territorial government about where my house stands, but
I don't know much about it. We don't care much about history in our
family."
"What do you do with yourself?"
"Oh, I keep house, and go occasionally to the Woman's Club, and in the
evenings father tells me about his business."
"Very nice," says one guest, whom we shall picture as a desirable and
wealthy young man from the North. "Now let's do something. Do you play
or sing? Are you athletic? Do you go boating on the St. John's River? Do
you gamble? Can you make love?"
"I dance a little and play a little golf out at the Florida Country
Club," she says, with but small signs of enthusiasm. "The thing I'm
really most interested in, though, is father's business. He lost a lot
of money in the fire of 1901, but he's made it all back and a lot more
besides."
"What about surf-bathing?" asks the pleasure-seeking visitor, stifling a
yawn.
"There's Atlantic Beach only eighteen miles from here. It's a wonderful
beach. Father's putting a million in improvements out there, but there's
no time to go there just now. However, if you'd like to, I can take you
down and show you the new docks he has built."
"Oh, no, thanks," says the guest. "I don't care for docks--not, that is,
unless we can go boating."
"I'm afraid we can't do that," says Miss Jacksonville. "We don't use the
river much for pleasure. I can't say just why, unless it is that every
one is too busy.... But please eat something more, and do have something
to drink. There's plenty for every one."
"I must be running along," says the visitor. "I've been invited to call
at some other houses down the block. By the way, what is the name of
your neighbor next door?"
"St. Augustine," says Jacksonville, with a little reluctance. "She is of
Spanish descent and sets great store by it. If you call there she'll
show you a lot of interesting old relics she has, but I assure you that
when it comes to commercial success her family isn't one-two-three with
papa."
"Thanks," says the visitor, "but just at the moment commerce doesn't
appeal to me. Who lives beyond her?"
Miss Jacksonville sighs. "There are some pleasant, rather attractive
people named Ormonde, beyond," she says, "and a lively family named
Daytona next door to them. Neither family is in business, like papa.
They just play all the time. Then come a number of modest places, and
after them, in the big yellow and white house with the palm trees all
around it--but I'd advise you to keep away from there! Yes, you'd better
go by that house. On the other side of it, in another lovely house, live
some nicer, simpler people named Miami. Or if you like fishing, you
might drop in on Mrs. Long-Key--she's wholesome and sweet, and goes out
every day to catch tarpon. Or, again, you might--"
"What's the matter with the people in the big yellow and white house
surrounded by palm trees? Why shouldn't I go there?" asks the guest.
"A young widow lives there," says Miss Jacksonville primly. "I don't
know much about her history, but she looks to me as though she had been
on the stage. She's frightfully frivolous--not at all one of our
representative people."
"Ah!" says the visitor. "Is she pretty?"
"Well," admits Miss Jacksonville, "I suppose she _is_--in a fast way.
But she's all rouged and she overdresses. Her bathing suits are too
short at the bottom and her evening gowns are too short at the top. Yes,
and even at that, she has a trick of letting the shoulder straps slip
off and pretending she doesn't know it has happened."
"What's her name?"
"Mrs. Palm-Beach."
"Oh," says the visitor. "I've heard of her. She's always getting into
the papers. Tell me more."
Miss Jacksonville purses her lips and raises her eyebrows. "Really," she
says, "I don't like to talk scandal."
"Oh, come on! Do!" pleads the visitor. "Is she bad--bad and beautiful
and alluring?"
"Judge for yourself," says Miss Jacksonville sharply. "She keeps that
enormous place of hers shut up except for about two months or so in the
winter, when she comes down gorgeously dressed, with more jewelry than
is worn by the rest of the neighborhood put together. Few Southerners go
to her house. It's full of rich people from all over the North."
"Is she rich?"
"You'd think so to look at her--especially if you didn't know where she
got her money. But she really hasn't much of her own. She's a grafter."
"How does she manage it?"
"Men give her money."
"But why?"
"Because she knows how to please the rich. She understands them. She
makes herself beautiful for them. She plays, and drinks, and gambles,
and dances with them, and goes riding with them in wheel chairs by
moonlight, and sits with them by the sea, and holds their hands, and
gets them sentimental. There's some scent she uses that is very
seductive--none of the rest of us have been able to find out exactly
what it is."
"But how does she get their money?"
"She never tells a hard-luck story--you can't get money out of the kind
she goes with, that way. She takes the other tack. She whispers to them,
and laughs with them, and fondles them, and makes them love her, and
when they love her she says: 'But dearie, be reasonable! Think how many
people love me! I like to have you here, you fat old darling with the
gold jingling in your pockets! but I can't let you sit with me unless
you pay. Yes, I'm expensive, I admit. But don't you love this scent I
wear? Don't you adore my tropical winter sea, my gardens, my palm trees,
my moonlight, and my music? They are all for you, dearie--so why
shouldn't you pay? Don't I take you from the northern cold and slush?
Haven't I built a siding for your private car, and made an anchorage for
your yacht? Don't I let you do as you please? Don't I keep you amused?
Don't you love to look at me? Don't I put my warm red lips to yours?
Well, then, dearie, what is all your money for?' ... That is her way of
talking to them! That is the sort of creature that she is!"
"Shocking!" says the visitor, rising and looking for his hat "You say
hers is the third large house from here?"
"Yes. Remember, she's as mercenary as can be!"
"Thanks. I can take care of myself. If she's amusing that suits me.
Good-by."
In the vestibule he pauses to count his money.
"Jacksonville seems to be a nice girl," he says to himself as he hastens
down the block. "I imagine she might make a good wife and mother, and
that she'd help her husband on in business. However, I'm not thinking of
getting married and settling down in Florida. I'm out for some fun. I
think I'll run in and call upon Mrs. Palm-Beach."