It was difficult to advance. Never mind. A few hours later I found myself
high up on the fjeld; I must have strayed from the path. What is that dark
shape there? A mountain peak. And that over there? Another peak. Let us
pitch camp on the spot, then.
There was a deep goodness and tenderness about this mild night. I sat in
the dark recalling forgotten memories of my childhood, and many
experiences in this place and that. And what a satisfaction it is, too, to
have money in one's pocket, even if one sleeps in the open!
During the night I woke up; I found it growing too warm for me under my
crag, and loosened my sleeping bag. It seemed to me, too, that a sound
still hummed in my ear, as though I had called out or sung in my sleep.
Suddenly I felt completely rested, and turned to look about me. It was
dark and mild, a stone-still world. The sky was paler than the ring of
mountains round me; I lay in the center of a city of peaks, at the foot of
a great cliff, huge to the point of deformity. The wind began to blow, and
suddenly there was a booming in the distance. Then came a streak of
lightning, and immediately after the thunder rolled down like a gigantic
avalanche between the most distant peaks. It was matchless to lie there
listening, and a supernatural delight, a thrill of enjoyment, ran through
me. A stranger madness filled me than I had ever felt before, and I gave
it expression by laughing aloud in wanton and humorous abandon. Many a
thought ran through my mind, witticisms alternating with moments of such
great sorrow that I lay sighing deeply. The lightning and thunder came
closer, and it began to rain--a torrential rain. The echoes were
overpowering; all nature was an uproar, a hullabalooing. I tried to
conquer the night by shouting at it, lest mysteriously it should rob me of
my strength and leave me without a will. These mountains, I thought, are
sheer incantations against my journey, great planted curses that block my
path. Or perhaps I have only strayed into a mountains' trade union? But I
nod my head repeatedly. That means I am brave and happy. Perhaps after all
they are only stuffed mountains.
More lightning and thunder and torrential rain; it felt as though the
near-by echo had slapped me, reverberating a hundred times through me.
Never mind. I have read about many battles and been in a rain of bullets
before this. Yet in a moment of sadness and humility in the presence of
the powers about me, I weep and think:
"Who am I now among men? Or am I lost already? Am I nothing already?"
And I cry out and call my name to hear if it still lives.
A wheel of gold turned before my eyes, and the thunder clapped over my
very head, on my own fjeld. Instantly I started out of the sleeping bag
and left my shelter. The thunder rolled on, there was lightning and more
thunder, worlds were uprooted. Why had I not listened to Olga's advice and
remained in the hut? Is it the Lapps whose magic powers are doing this?
The Lapps? Those human mites, those mountain dwarfs! What is all this
noise to me? I made a feeble effort to walk against it, but stopped again,
for I was among giants, and saw the foolishness of trying to battle with
the thunder.
I leaned against the side of the mountain: no longer did I stand shouting
and hurling challenges at my opponent, but looked at him with milk-blue
eyes. And now that I have yielded, none but a mountain would be so hard.
But I am not rhymes and rhythms alone; did you think I should waste my
good brain chasing such rainbows? You lie. Here I lean against the whole
world, and you, perhaps, believe the blue of my eyes....
At that, the lightning struck me. This was a miracle, and it happened to
me. It ran down my left elbow, scorching the sleeve of my jacket. The
lightning seemed like a ball of wool that dropped to the ground. I felt a
sensation of heat, and saw that the ground farther down the mountain was
struck a loud blow and then split. A great oppression held me down; a
spear of darkness shot through me. And then it thundered beyond all
measure, not long and rumbling, but firm and clear and rattling.
The storm passed on.