My second half-year passed slowly, though it did not drag its slow
length along as had my first half. I fagged for Snipson every morning,
and was thus treated much as was a last-joined. In my own room and
division I was scarcely fagged at all, and as Forester and Fenton used
to talk to me, I enjoyed their society, especially after roll-call, when
I knew Snipson could not send for me on some pretence or other.
More than once Forester had asked me how I was getting on in academy,
and seemed interested as to my prospect of passing my probationary
examination. This also was a question about which I was anxious, for,
unless I passed a satisfactory examination, I might be sent away from
the Academy just in the same manner as if I had failed at my first
examination.
During my first half I had decidedly gone back; the pressure that had
been used to prepare for entrance seemed to have tired me mentally, and
the perpetual anxiety of being fagged and bullied seemed to paralyse my
mind, so that I could learn little or nothing. It was much the same
during my second half, although my nights were quieter; but I felt a
sort of disinclination to commence work--a feeling I have since learnt
is the great drawback to progress in anything.
Men mean to begin doing something at some future period; some day they
will set to work and do this or learn that; they will give up this or
that bad habit, or begin to learn this or that important subject; but
the to-morrow on which they are going to begin never comes, for they
drive off from day to day until it is too late, and they go to their
graves with very good intentions, and meaning to have done something,
but they never did it.
I drove off regularly working until within a few days of the
examinations, and when I tried to learn various formulas I found that my
mind seemed out of condition and unable to retain a recollection of what
my eyes had seen.
It was some time after this that I discovered what seemed to me a new
faculty of my mind--that was a capacity of shutting off, as it were, all
external matters, and bringing my thoughts to bear on some problem
which, with closed eyes or daring the darkness of night, I tried to work
out. My first experience of this faculty was in connexion with a game
of chess. Forester had been trying to solve a problem of "checkmate in
three moves," and I had been looking on. He had failed to solve the
problem when the lights were taken away. As I lay in bed thinking over
this problem, I pictured to myself the chess-board and men, and I then
imagined a move of the knight, which had not been tried before. The new
position of the men I seemed to see plainly. Now and then the picture
appeared to fade from my imagination, and it was an effort to reproduce
it. I, however, managed to do so, and in a short time moved another
piece. I went over three moves again and again, and at length was
certain I had found out the solution. Forester was asleep, so I said
nothing; but as soon as I awoke in the morning I took the chess-board,
arranged the men, and found that I had solved the problem, and could
checkmate in the required number of moves.
On informing Forester of this he was much amused, and seemed to think it
a very remarkable performance on my part. Having thus employed my mind
on a problem, I tried to make various moves for the openings at chess,
and found that by practice I could develop this faculty, and could make
seven or eight moves on each side and remember the position of the men.
It is impossible to describe the pleasure this sort of mental exercise
gave me, for as long as I lay awake I could work out chess-moves; and as
the efforts seemed to tire me, I often fell asleep in the midst of some
complicated series of moves. The results of this proceeding did not
then dawn upon me, for I was but a boy after all, and had really to
learn how to think and how to use my brain.
The examinations came with their usual regularity, and the questions
were unlucky for me. That there should be any luck in examinations may
strike some readers as impossible; but those who have had any experience
know how much luck there is, and that it is not always a sure test of
the relative knowledge of individuals to judge by the results of their
examination. When I say that the questions were unlucky, I mean that it
appeared as if those particular questions had been selected which
referred to problems I had not studied.
As an example:--On one occasion I saw the mathematical master looking at
a book and copying something from it. I saw the page was 210. On
returning to my seat, I told the cadet next me that I had seen this, and
that we should probably be required to work out the formula on page 210.
"Perhaps it may be the formula on page 211," said my neighbour. "We
will toss up, and see which it is--heads 210, tails 211." It came
heads, so we in joke said we knew it would be this formula.
I must own I had so little faith in what I had asserted that I learnt
only superficially problem page 210, and doubt whether I could have
worked it out. When, however, the examination questions were given out,
I saw a very large number of marks were allotted to the problem on page
211, and this problem I had not worked up. After the examination,
however, the cadet next me told me he had learnt both problems well, and
expected full marks for this question. Now, perhaps I ought to have
done the same, and learnt both problems, but I had devoted my time to
some twenty others, all of which I knew well, and not one of which were
asked.
It has often occurred to me that a different system of examination might
be adopted to that now practised, in order to avoid this luck, and also
to find out the extent of the knowledge of an individual on any subject.
At present a series of questions are asked, these being some ten or
twelve in number, and they are supposed to take in every branch of the
subject. The individual examined answers these, and these answers are
limited to the questions or inquiries made. The amount of knowledge
which any one may possess _beyond_ the questions put is not ascertained,
and thus the full extent of one person's knowledge may have been reached
by the questions, and only half the knowledge of another person who may
have done at the examination exactly the same. To draw out the
knowledge of a person at an examination, the safest way is to give far
more questions in a paper than it is possible the best man can in the
time answer; then by the amount of work done a fairer estimate can be
formed of the relative knowledge of individuals than if only six or
seven questions are given, and where, consequently, luck has a great
deal to do with the results.
I was certain I had done badly in mathematics at the examination, and
this was the subject that counted most; but I was not aware how badly I
had done till the result of the examination was made known, when I found
I was last but one, and had gained only four in the subject.
Now that I believed it was too late I was ready to stamp with rage at my
folly in not having worked harder. I felt I had in me certain powers
which had not been yet fully called out. It seemed that I was again
sinking back into the condition I occupied at Hostler's, and I was
looked on by my own batch as very stupid. The examination I had failed
to pass was, I understood, my probationary, and that therefore I should
now be sent away from the Academy. It turned out, however, that because
I had not joined with the remainder of my batch, and had thus been
absent several weeks, I was allowed another chance and given another
half-year's trial at the Academy.
I was sent for to the Inspector's office and briefly informed of this
fact in a dry, official manner, an intimation being added that unless I
worked very hard I was not likely to remain beyond the next term as a
cadet at the Royal Military Academy.
I was determined that next term I would work hard and try to recover my
position, and it being my third half-year I expected I should not have
any fagging, and consequently should have plenty of time for working out
of study hours.
Forester had passed his examination well and was fourth of his batch,
and would next half be down in the Arsenal with what was termed the
"practical class." This practical class learnt all the practical work
connected with field works, military bridges, military surveying, etc,
and were distinguished from the other cadets by wearing epaulettes with
bullion about an inch long. The practical class rarely came to the
upper Academy, their barracks being down in the Arsenal. Once a month
for muster, however, they were marched up to the Academy and were the
envy and admiration of the younger cadets.
Snipson had failed to qualify for the practical class, and would
therefore remain one more half-year at the Academy, when he would have
to leave if he did not then pass into the practical class.
On my return home I had to break the intelligence to my father that I
had been unsuccessful at my examination, but should have another chance
for my probationary. He took the news very quietly, and told me he
thought that, with the amount of fagging and bullying that was going on,
it was wonderful how any cadets managed to pass their examinations at
all.
During my vacation I used to regularly work every morning before
breakfast at mathematics, and at night I tried to work out various
problems in geometry just in the same manner as I had solved chess
puzzles, and I found I could manage this performance very well. I thus
established a sort of test for myself; for if I could in my mind work
through a problem, I was certain I knew it, and if I could not, I soon
found out where I broke down.
I used to practise also raising _x + y_ to various powers without
opening my eyes thus: (_x + y_) to the power of six and (_x+y_) to the
power of eight, and so on. I found that the practice of doing this gave
me a sort of extra power, and I could soon multiply any two figures by
two figures in my head and obtain correct results.
From commencing such experiments as the best means for qualifying myself
for future examinations, I gradually grew to like the work, and in a
short time preferred working out some equation or geometrical problem to
reading a dull book.
After-experience taught me that a man never does anything so well as
that for which he has a liking, and as a rule we dislike those things
which we know little or nothing of, or which we do badly. We grow to
like any subject very often by learning it, and gradually gaining
efficiency in it, and we thus are often impelled to proceed until we are
surprised, on comparing with others, to find how much we have learnt in
a certain time.
My vacation passed very quickly, for I was happy at home, and having
always some work on hand, I was never thoroughly idle, nor did I ever
experience that most disagreeable of states, etc, "How ever was I to
pass the time?"
On rejoining the Academy for my third half-year, I felt very much more
at my ease than I had done on the former occasions. I expected that I
should have no fagging, and should do very much as I liked. There were
two old cadets in my room, the head being a corporal named Woodville,
and the second a cadet named Jamieson, who was only one half my senior.
They were both very nice fellows, and Woodville was celebrated as a
runner for long distances, he having run a mile in four minutes and
fifty seconds. I had grown very much during the past year, and had
improved altogether in health and strength, and found also that I could
run better than when I had won my hundred and twenty yards' race. I was
still supposed to be the best short distance runner at the shop, though
there were one or two who were almost equal to me.
Upon the last-joined cadets coming to the Academy, which they did the
day after the rest of us had joined, they had all to pass through nearly
the same ordeal that I had. Hats were smashed on entering the hall, and
several new plots were started to make the cadets sharp.
One of the favourite tricks to play on a last-joined was to fill one of
the tin basins with water, to open the door about afoot, and place the
basin on the top of the door, then to call a neux from outside, and tell
him to come to the room. The neux, of course, pushed open the door and
let the basin fall on his head or back, he getting a good ducking.
This invention was very popular for some time, but all the last-joined
soon heard of it, and became cautious, and either entered the doorway
without opening the door any wider than it was at the time it supported
the basin, or they pushed the door open from a distance.
Another amusement, which also was soon worn out, was to heat the poker,
and then rest it against the handle of the door till the handle got
quite hot, then to shut the door and watch from the window for cadets to
pass. As soon as a last-joined could be seen, he was told to come round
to the room, and naturally he took hold of the handle to open the door.
The cadets on the inside of the door held fast, so that the door could
not be opened. The result was that the victim burnt his hand, for at
first he could not tell the handle was hot, and, never suspecting such a
thing, probably fancied that the handle was very cold instead of being
as it was, very hot. Any way, nearly every cadet burnt his hand who
came to the door, and this was considered an excellent joke by the
cadets in the room.
At that time bullying was at its height at the Academy, and I heard of
various things being done which amounted to the grossest cruelty. One
of these was nearly causing the death of a cadet, and exposed to the
authorities to what an extent cruelty was carried.
An old cadet used to amuse himself by placing a stool upside down on the
top of another stool. He then made a cadet climb onto the top of the
second stool, and stand balanced on two legs of the stool. When the
cadet was thus standing balancing himself, the old cadet kicked away the
under stool, and brought the neux down heavily on the top of the stools.
This proceeding was much admired by Snipson, who was again in the
Towers, and occupying his old room, and I heard that a cadet had been
much hurt by falling on the upturned leg of one of the stools, on which
he had been made to stand by Snipson. The cadet had to be taken to
hospital, and was considered for some time in danger.
During the time this cadet was in hospital, Snipson ceased his practices
of bullying, and was so very civil to the neux that was hurt that he
succeeded in obtaining from him a promise that the authorities should
not know by what means he had become hurt.
This matter was generally known among the cadets, but so bad a feeling
was then prevalent at the Academy that Snipson was not condemned by the
other cadets, nor did the practice referred to at all decrease.
It happened that at the dinner-squad to which I belonged there was a
corporal who was a very quiet, steady fellow, and who disliked bullying.
The subject of Snipson's neux having been injured was mentioned at the
squad, and I was asked if I had not once been Snipson's fag. I replied
that I had, and that he was one of the greatest bullies in the Academy.
It happened that this remark of mine came by some means to be retailed
to Snipson, and led to an affair which must be described in detail.
Two or three days after the conversation at the dinner-squad, Snipson
called me as we came out from morning study, and told me to go to his
room after parade.
To be told to go to an old cadet's room was usually understood to mean
that a thrashing was to be administered for some cause or other. I
could not recall anything I had done, for I had entirely forgotten the
remark I had made at the dinner-table, and I fancied that Snipson might
want to fag me for something in order to show he could fag a third-half
cadet.
When I was broken off drill I went to Snipson's room in the Towers,
where I found Snipson standing by his window.
On my entering the room he said,--"Shut the door and turn the key!" I
did so, and then saw that Snipson looked pale with rage, and that
something unpleasant was in store for me.
The room in which we were was not more than about ten feet square; the
window, like all others at the Academy, was guarded by iron cross-bars,
and the furniture of the room consisted of two stools, a small table, a
fender and poker, and a bed. Snipson was at that time nearly two years
and a half my senior, and was much taller and stouter than I was. He
had, however, an awkward way about him, and was not given to any
muscle-developing games, such as cricket, football, or rackets.