"You were in great form yesterday, and I was out of sorts, but I didn't
know you were such a runner. We must have another spin after the
examinations are over, and I'll see if I can't turn the tables on you."
I told Brag of this remark, and he replied that he would back me again,
but recommended me not to eat too much pastry and "soft tack," or I
should get out of form.
The examination now went on every day, and I felt I was not doing well.
Any way, if I passed out of the junior class I should be satisfied. I
found that those boys who had been long at preparatory schools had an
advantage over me in knowing languages better than I did. French and
German were the only two languages we then learnt at the Academy, and
the curious system then was for the professors at the Academy to teach
also at the Woolwich cram-schools. A boy who had, therefore, been for a
couple of years at a Woolwich school, and in the first class, knew well
and was known by the professors of French and German, whereas one who
had been trained as I had did not derive the benefit of the former
instruction of the professors. It was supposed in those days that if we
did not know languages when we joined the Academy we did not pick them
up there. This might be explained from the fact that so much individual
and personal instruction is required in order to teach languages, and
there was only one professor to about thirty-five cadets.
Day after day the examination continued, and I worked on, and at length,
all being finished, there were about five days during which the results
of the examination were being made up, and we had nothing to do but
drill. This gave us plenty of spare time, and we had games of football,
and various matches at rackets and other games. Several cadets,
however, who had lost their half-crowns in the race between Horsford and
myself, were anxious to recover these, and there were many opinions
about our relative merits in running. I heard from some of my own batch
that it was the general opinion that if Horsford gave me three yards out
of one hundred, it was a certainty for him.
D'Arcy, however, had told the head of his room that he thought I could
win at these odds, and I also told Brag I would go halves with him in
anything he bet at those odds. A match of this kind caused much
interest, and several cadets were interested in the proposed race. I
heard that Horsford had been quietly training, in order to get himself
into form, and that he had said it was a certainty, as he was seedy when
he ran with me, and was called upon all of a sudden to run.
Brag said he did not like the match much, but still, having won, he
would give the losers a chance.
It was decided that we should run on the centre parade in the afternoon,
and the whole Academy turned out to witness the match. I had carefully
practised of an evening, both starting and running, and I could feel I
was going very well. As I ran, I found I could pick up my feet quickly,
and could, as far as it was possible to judge, run better than I ever
ran. It occurred to me that if I could beat Horsford at these odds I
would run him even, and a feeling of ambition came over me that it would
be something for a neux to be the best runner at the Academy.
The afternoon at length came of the day on which the match was to come
off, and all the cadets who could come out came on the centre parade. I
had taken the precaution of putting on a pair of loose, plain trousers,
and rather tight shoes that I fancied I could run in well. Just as we
were assembling, the Captain of the Cadet Company entered the inclosure
and inquired what all the assembly was about. He was informed it was
for a race, so, being a great advocate for athletic competitions, he
stopped to see the match.
Horsford, I could see, was in earnest now, and had taken the same
precautions that I had. He was dressed in complete running costume--a
suit in which he had won several races at Rugby, from which school he
had come to Woolwich.
All the preliminaries having been arranged, we were placed at our
respective scratches--I having three yards' start.
I had ascertained that there were five inches difference in our height--
at that time Horsford being five feet six, and I only five feet one--but
I believed I had as long a stride as he had, and was as quick on my
legs.
On the words, "Are you ready?" being asked, I got all my weight on my
rear leg, and, bracing myself up, was prepared for "Off!"
At the first trial we were off, and I ran as nearly as possible at full
speed. I knew I could go a little, though not much, quicker than I was
going, so I kept on till about twenty yards from goal. I then glanced
round, and found Horsford quite two yards behind me, so I maintained the
same pace, and came in a winner by about a yard and a half.
The cadets who had lost on this race at once went to Brag and said,
"Shepard is too good, you know. Horsford can't give him these three
yards' start. Let them run a race even, and we'll back Horsford at two
to one."
Brag looked at me inquiringly, so I gave him a nod, and he at once said,
"All right. I dare say I shall lose, and I only bet just to give you a
chance."
The idea now came across me that if I won this race I should be the
acknowledged best runner at the Academy for a short distance. There was
something pleasing to me in this idea, for I then discovered that I had
ambition--and what is a boy or a man without?
The individual who cares not whether he win or lose in any competition
is a poor creature. He who is not to a certain extent downcast by
defeat, or elated by a success, is not a man who will ever rise to
eminence, for he will never use the exertion necessary to obtain
success. In almost every case victory is obtained only by thought and
care, expended by those who possess some special gifts of nature; and,
although there is no reason why we should be unduly elated by any
success, still one's self-love is gratified if we find we succeed above
others.
I was of course the hero of the day now that I had beaten Horsford, for
I heard he had run races with several old cadets and had won all these,
so I longed to try conclusions with him at evens. D'Arcy came to me and
said, "If you run the whole distance at that speed, I know you'll win,
so go in at it in earnest."
This race was considered a hollow affair, as it was supposed that my
opponent could not pull up a losing race, but could run well at evens.
It was supposed that Brag bet on this just to give the losers back some
of the shillings they had lost; it was not supposed I had a chance.
We had two false starts, but at the third trial we got off together, and
for about fifty yards we were shoulder to shoulder. Then Horsford got
slightly ahead, not more than the breadth of his own body, but I
gradually regained this, and at about ninety yards was even with him and
passing him. As soon as I had passed him he seemed to shut up, for he
dropped behind all of a sudden, and I ran in a winner by about one yard.
Several cadets came up to me and said, "Bravo, youngster! you've run
well; you must get me the racket-court when I want it;" whilst my own
batch wanted to carry me round the parade. However, I went to my room
and changed my clothes, and endeavoured not to show any sign of being
gratified at my victory. It was, however, to myself as much a
gratification as a surprise. Until I joined the Academy I had no idea I
had the qualifications of a good runner; I had never competed with other
boys, and had consequently no opportunity of discovering my powers; but
suddenly to find that out of nearly one hundred and fifty cadets I was
the fastest runner was a great surprise, and I began to ask myself
whether I had any other powers of which I knew nothing, and which had
never before been called upon.
Both Brag and Snipson were now less disposed to bully me than they were
before, and so buoyant is youth that all the hard knocks I had received
on first joining were almost forgotten, and I began to look forward to
the time when I should be an old cadet and have fags of my own.
The result of the examinations was now out, and I found I had done very
badly; from eleventh of the batch I had dropped to twenty-eighth, and
the return was unsatisfactory in several things. I, however, just got
into the third academy, though I was last but one, and I hoped that next
term, when I should not be so much worried by fagging and bullying, I
should be able to think more about my work, so I was not so much cast
down as I otherwise should have been if I had not a reasonable excuse
for having done badly.
What was termed the "Public" in those days was very dissimilar to the
"Duke's" day at present. Formerly the "Public" was an examination,
though it was a sort of sham affair. As, however, it was a great day, I
will give a full description of the proceedings.
The "Public" was the day on which the Master-General of the Ordnance,
his staff, and all the principal heads of departments came to the
Academy to see the cadets. The order of proceeding was as follows:--
The cadets were drawn up on parade and received the Master-General with
a salute. They were then put through certain manoeuvres by the senior
cadets, and afterwards marched into the dining-hall.
In the centre of the dining-hall a table was placed, large enough to
enable the batch about to obtain their commissions to be seated at.
Near this was a long table, at which the Master-General and officers
were seated. An elevated platform, with stair-like seats, was erected
at each end and side of the hall. On this the cadets were seated who
were not yet qualified for commissions; a portion was also set aside for
visitors belonging to the cadets.
On all being assembled in the hall, the professors at the Academy,
beginning with the head cadet of the batch, asked questions, which each
cadet answered in turn. Sometimes these questions required
demonstrations on the board, and the cadet used his chalk to draw
figures and give demonstrations.
After the professors had put questions, any of the officers present
might do so, and there was often much amusement at the questions and
answers--for very often the inquiries made had no reference whatever to
any subject a cadet had learnt at the Academy.
One story that used to be told about these questions was, that a cadet
was once asked what was sometimes used to wash out the bore of a gun.
The cadet did not know what to say, so another cadet beside him
whispered, "Tan ash and water."
The cadet, standing up, got nervous when he did not know what to say,
and only heard imperfectly what his prompter said.
"Tan ash and water," again whispered the cadet.
"A ten-inch mortar!" blurted out the puzzled cadet.
The batch who heard this answer were ready to burst out laughing,
especially when the officer who had asked the question, and who was
rather deaf, said, "Tan ash and water--very good!"
An old officer, who was fond of a joke, was reported to have once asked
the head cadet of the batch, "What would be the result, supposing an
irresistible body came in contact with an immovable post on a plane?"
The cadet answered that the body would come to rest.
"No," replied the officer; "you forget the body is irresistible, and
therefore cannot come to rest."
"It would carry away the post," said the cadet. "No," again said the
officer; "the post is immovable."
After a little hesitation the cadet said he didn't know what would
happen.
"Quite right, sir," said the officer, "neither do I, nor any one else,
for the conditions are impossible. I only wanted you to say, `I don't
know.' Some men would have attempted long explanations."
When the cadets had been publicly examined, the various prizes were
given, and, after one or two speeches by the senior officers, the
Academy broke up.
I started for London that afternoon by coach, which was one of about
forty four-horse coaches that used then to pass over Shooter's Hill
every day _en route_ from London to Dover, slept at a friend's, and on
the following day was carried by coach to the New Forest, and once more
found myself in the quiet of home.
The change that had taken place in me during my first half-year at the
Academy was very great. Instead of being a raw country boy I was now a
somewhat experienced young man. The knocking about I had received at
the Academy had forced me to use my perceptive powers in every way to
save myself from being thrashed for neglect; and I had thus cultivated
my observational faculties, so that I noticed far more than probably I
ever should had I remained at home.
Now that I was at home I found I was somewhat of a hero. All the
countrymen round--the foresters--who knew me as quite a little boy, now
touched their hats to me, for they called me a "sodger-officer!" and had
heard I had done something wonderfully clever at an examination. I also
found that among our friends I took quite a different position to what I
had done four months before. In reality, I learnt now the advantage of
being a soldier, for I was looked on as one; and I felt the benefit of
this when I heard young ladies tell their brothers what a pity it was
they had not been drilled, and taught to stand up, and walk like Mr
Shepard!
I had been at home about a week when my father told me one morning that
he had a letter from Howard, who would be in the neighbourhood shortly.
"I will write and ask him to stay here a night or two. You would like
to compare notes with him about the Academy, I dare say."
"Yes, that I should," I replied, for I still looked, on Howard as a
hero, and found my veneration for him by no means decreased when I
remembered that he must have gone through all I had, and all I must go
through before I obtained my commission; also that he was an old cadet
when the present old cadets were only schoolboys. I wanted also to hear
from Howard what used to go on when he was a cadet, and compare the
bullying, fagging, etc, in his day with what I had myself experienced;
for it was a doubtful point in my own mind whether or not I had been
more bullied than other neuxes, and whether, if I had been, it was due
to any peculiarity in myself, or was owing to the old cadets in my room
being what was termed regular bullies.
When I met Howard he expressed his surprise at my improved appearance.
"You've grown and filled out," he said, "and before long you'll be a
formidable antagonist with your fists. And how do you like the shop?"
he inquired.
I had a brief conversation with Howard then; but it was not till after
dinner, when the ladies had left, and Howard, my father, and I were
alone, that I became inquiring and confidential; and it was only then
that my father became aware of the extent to which bullying was carried
at the Academy thirty add years ago. His astonishment was great, for
the tales I told were capped by Howard, and there was no margin left on
which to place any doubts as regards the truth of our incidents.
After I had described the angle of forty-five, and the running round the
table whilst the old cadets flipped me, Howard said, "Yes, all that's
pretty bad, but were you ever kept up half the night looking out for
squalls, or has that gone out of fashion?"
"I've never heard of that. What is it?" I inquired.
"To look out for squalls a cadet was divested of nearly all his clothes,
and was made to climb up the iron bars of the window and there hold on.
If he came down without orders he received a tremendous thrashing, and
it was supposed to be a trial of a cadet's obedience to orders. I
remember, when I was a neux," said Howard, "I was sent up once to the
top of the window, and told to remain there till further orders. After
some time I heard both the old cadets snoring, so I thought I might as
well come down and go to bed. I had scarcely gone down many inches when
one of the old cadets called out, `By George, sir, you shall have a
thrashing for that! You thought I was asleep, eh? I just pretended to
snore, to see if you could be trusted to obey orders. Why, you ought to
remain there till you dropped rather than leave your post!' I went up
again, and remained for above an hour, when I was so cramped I could
with difficulty move. Both cadets were snoring, but I suspected another
trap, so hesitated about coming down. At length, however, I could hold
on no longer, and fell heavily to the ground, from which I was picked up
insensible. But I soon got all right, and wasn't much hurt after all."
"But," said my father, "these things are perfectly brutal. Don't the
authorities interfere?"
"Yes," replied Howard, "they would if what was done was brought before
them in any way; but it rarely happens that they hear of these things."
"But don't the boys--the fags--complain to the authorities about such
ill-usage?"
"If they did, the life they would lead would be unendurable. Every
cadet, old and young, would cut them, and they would be bullied to such
an extent that I don't believe any boy would stay at the Academy. He
would be considered a sneak; and if a cadet once gained such a name it
would be all over with him.
"A case once happened when I was a neux," continued Howard, "where a
cadet told his mother of some of the things he had to do as a neux. His
mother foolishly wrote to the Captain of the Cadet Company about it, and
said she hoped he would see her son was not put to perform menial
offices. The captain of course had to treat the matter officially;
there was an inquiry, and it resulted in the head of this cadet's room
being rusticated for a half-year. Well, the result was that the neux
became a marked man; he was fagged, and thrashed, and sent to drill so
often, that he could not stand it, and at last ran away from the
Academy. It's of no use for a cadet to attempt to go against the
stream; he must grin and bear it."
"I should think it would entirely break a boy's spirit," said my father,
"and ruin him for life."
"Not a bit of it," replied Howard. "It is not that I advocate bullying;
but I have never seen very much harm done by it. That it ought to be
stopped I think there is no doubt, for I believe that of all the
despotic tyrants in the world a boy is the greatest. To him there is a
delight in tyrannising; and bully he will. Usually it is size and
strength that makes the bully; and this is its worst form, and is known
to exist everywhere. Now at the Academy it is not size or strength that
gives the right to fag, but seniority only. The smallest old cadet may
kick or fag a last-joined giant."
"It is a bad, brutal system, and ought to be put an end to," said my
father. "If I had known the extent to which this system was carried at
Woolwich I never would have let Bob go there."
"I'm very glad you didn't know then," I replied, "for the worst is over
now, and I've really only another half-year of it, and then I shall be
tolerably free."
"What I believe ought to be done," said Howard, "is to separate fagging
from gratuitous bullying. Nothing is more offensive in society than an
unlicked cub, and you find many of these in places where men don't
belong to either service, or have never been to public schools. I
believe, from what I have read in Marryat's novels, that in the navy
there is far more bullying with the youngsters than there ever has been
at Woolwich; and I fancy also at our principal public schools there is
plenty of it. The generality of boys are not so sensitive as we older
people are, and we give them credit for feeling much as we should;
whereas I know now that I look back with rather a sense of satisfaction
to the bullying I went through, and the manner in which I stood it. You
see, Mr Shepard," continued Howard, "we men in the army have to lead a
roughish life of it; we don't always live in drawing-rooms, or mix with
ladies; so a soft, delicate, sensitive sort of fellow, who can't stand a
little bullying without crying out for help, is not the sort of man we
want for an officer. Now I can see that Bob there is twice the man he
was when I first knew him, and he is more fit to battle with the world,
than he would have been, if he had merely stopped at home translating
Herodotus and catching butterflies.
"I'll tell you another advantage there is in having fagging at Woolwich.
When an officer gets his commission in either the Artillery or
Engineers, his seniors never play tricks on him, or attempt skylarking--
all that was done with when the officers were neuxes at the Academy. In
the Line, how ever, unless an ensign joined from Sandhurst, and had
passed through a phase of bullying, he was the victim of various
practical jokes; and then there was no regular time at which these
practical jokes ceased. Now it is not the right thing for a
commissioned officer to be made the butt for the jokes of his seniors;
still the ensigns are sometimes so raw, so self-sufficient, and require
to be put in their proper places so much, that their seniors have no
hesitation in bullying them for a time. It is far better, to my mind,
that a cadet about fifteen should be subjected to a system of bullying--
if you like to call it so--than that an ensign in her Majesty's service
should be. Fancy, too, what a set of fellows we might get in the
service if they were not knocked into shape by their companions! Why,
look at your neighbour's son, Hynton, who may some day be a baronet!
He's nearly twenty, and is little better than a lout, because he has
never been to school, but has always had a tutor at home. He is
conceited, stupid, and thinks, because he is tall, stout, and strong,
that he may do anything. He would have been made into a capital fellow
by a little course of fagging when he was a youngster?"
"Ah!" replied my father; "you are a thorough advocate for the system, I
can see; but I am dead against it. I think it brutalises boys, and
makes bullies of them in afterlife."
"I don't think that," replied Howard. "I believe men who are bullies
will be so under any circumstances, and are not inclined to be so by
being first fags and then having the power to fag. In my day, also, at
the Academy downright bullying was discountenanced by all the old
cadets, or at least nearly all of them, and any cadet known to be a
regular bully was stopped from being allowed to fag."
"That's not the case now," I remarked. "A cadet may bully as much as he
likes." I thought of Snipson and Brag as I said this, and the amount of
suffering I had gone through on first joining came fresh to my memory.
"Then the Academy is degenerating," said Howard; "and if what I may call
wholesome fagging goes out, it will be because a bad style of men get to
be old cadets, and carry things so far that the authorities will stop it
altogether."
On the following morning I took a walk with Howard, and took the
opportunity of telling him of my having been obliged to hang by my arms
whilst I was pegged at by racket-balls; and I asked if any such thing
was done in his day.
"The fellow who did that must be a snob," said Howard, "and deserves to
be kicked by the old cadets! Unless you or the other neuxes had struck,
or been cool in some way, that kind of thing ought not to have been
done."
Four days Howard stayed with us, and I had learnt much from him during
that time. He advised me to work hard all next half, particularly in
academy, so as to pass my probationary well, and to make friends with
D'Arcy, who, he said, was a very good fellow, and had a brother who was
a cadet with him. He also gave me some useful hints about examinations,
and recommended a system of artificial memory for remembering formulae
and various dates. He also told me I should find the advantage all my
life of becoming skilled as a boxer and single-stick player, and that
one of the Academy sergeants was a first-rate instructor at both.
"You're not a fellow," said Howard, "who would get into a row for the
sake of showing off--a gentleman never does that sort of thing--so the
knowledge of how to use your fists would not be likely to make you
quarrelsome; but it is a pleasure to know that when you see some hulking
lout who is a bully, and who is doing what he ought not to do, you can
give him a thrashing if you like. I've always felt a sort of pleasure,"
said Howard, "when walking through the streets of Paris, to think that I
could thrash at least ninety-nine out of the hundred of the men one
meets, for Frenchmen cannot use their fists. You should go in strong
also for rackets and cricket; there is nothing more indicative of a muff
than a fellow who is not good at some game or other. I remember hearing
once of some general who said he would always select his staff from the
men who were best across country, and you may depend on it that there's
great truth in the suggestion. I've generally found the best officers
were men who were good at games. You can play chess well, I know, as
your father told me you were within a pawn of him. So take my advice,
and follow the maxim, that `what is worth doing at all is worth doing
well!'"
My time passed pleasantly enough during the vacation, for I fully
appreciated the quiet of the forest and its splendid trees, after having
been crowded by my fellows and surrounded by houses during the past
year. I did not look forward with much pleasure to my return to the
Academy. I knew that some second-half cadets were fagged as much as if
they were last-joined, and it was quite possible that such might be my
fate; the novelty, too, of being a cadet and wearing uniform was
departing, and I looked more to realities than I had at first. The
prospect of being turned out at six o'clock a.m. to go and brush clothes
in another room was not pleasant, nor did I relish the idea of being
once more placed on a table as the target for boots and brushes. In
fact, I was getting older rapidly; and as I grew very fast and became
much stronger, a rebellious feeling came over me that was not favourable
to my future obedience as a neux.
On comparing Brag and Snipson with Howard, or oven with several of the
other old cadets I knew, I could not but feel that these two were very
bad specimens of the cadet of that day. They were both bullies; they
excelled in nothing, were low down in their class, and in spite of this
were both very conceited. Their style of conversation, too, was
inferior to what I had heard from other old cadets. Their ideas were
cramped, and they seemed to take a mean or malicious view of everything,
and to attribute to all other persons bad motives for what they did or
said. I remarked, also, that neither Brag nor Snipson had a good word
for any one. If any cadet's name was mentioned, one or the other of
these would commence with "Oh, yes! he's all very well in his way, but
then he's not such a swell as he thinks himself, for I have good reason
to believe that he," etc, etc, etc; and here would follow some
disparagement of the individual whose name was mentioned.
Brag and Snipson somehow got on well together. They were unpopular at
the Academy, and perhaps that gave them some sympathetic feeling for
each other; but the principal reason, I believe, was that they used to
flatter one another very much. Whatever Brag did, Snipson said was
"deuced well done;" and when Snipson did anything, Brag declared it was
very clever. There was no use in concealing the fact, between myself
and the two old cadets in my room there was a very great antipathy, and
I can use no milder term to indicate with truth my feelings towards them
than to say I detested them both.
To be at the mercy of a bully for whom you have a contempt, is a very
trying position, and such had been my fate during the whole of the first
term I was a cadet at Woolwich. As the time arrived for my return to
Woolwich, I was anxious principally about the room in which I should
live. It was quite a chance whether I had a nice or a disagreeable head
of the room, but my comfort or misery for five months was dependent on
the peculiar character of this cadet.