NOTES OF CERTAIN OTHER GENTS.
THERE is a species of Gent who, moving only in a third or fourth rate
sphere, goes to a party in a white cravat and turned up wristbands, and
carries his hat into the room because he had heard that Gentlemen do so.
He is generally an immense card. We chanced to stand next to a specimen
of this kind, one evening, in a quadrille, and the only remark we heard
him make was inquiring of his partner, after two or three false starts,
whether she preferred dancing on a carpet or the bare boards: to which
the young lady replied, having looked down to see what the floor was
(that she might not “put her foot in it,” figuratively speaking), that
she preferred a carpet, she thought: and this was the beginning and end
of the conversation.
[Illustration]
A sample of this variety fixed himself upon us once, as we were taking a
stroll, merely upon the intimacy of a casual party introduction two or
three weeks before, where we had procured him some trifle at supper,
solely because we did not choose to run the chance of allowing him to
approach the table and stand near the pretty girl over whose white
shoulder we stretched our arm to help him. We found out that he was
minutely particular about his deportment in the street, and a pretty
treat we gave him. First of all we rattled our stick against the area
railings of the houses: then we bought penny bunches of cherries at the
stalls, and munched them as we went along, continually pressing him to
take some, or propelling the stones, six at a time, along the pavement
in front of us. We cut off the angles of all the squares, and ran very
fast across all the crossings; and then took off a little boy’s cap, and
carried it a short way with us, to provoke a few salutations in our
wake, of that pleasing and forcible kind which only little boys in the
streets can give with such piquancy of expression. We finally got rid of
him by insisting upon stopping at the corner of Berners Street to see
_Punch_—an exhibition we never, by any means, omit playing audience to:
although we know many Gents who think their station in society would be
lost for ever, were they once observed taking an interest in any thing
half so common.
There is a peculiar race of Gents to be seen, through the windows,
lounging in tobacco-shops; some leaning against the counter, others
seated on tubs, or occupying the like positions. This employment is
another variety of what Gents think “fast.”
[Illustration]
The presiding goddess of this temple of smoke is a scantily educated
woman, who has been more or less pretty at some time or another; but
still retains, it would seem, sufficient attraction to draw the Gents
about her. Here they will pass hours, finding intense pleasure in her
commonplace uninteresting conversation—retailing dull jokes, worn-out
anecdotes, or vapid inevitable puns to each other; and staring at any
casual purchaser who may enter the shop, as if he were an intruder on
their domain.
There are the Gents, also, who are afterwards seen in the theatres at
half-price: in the slips during the performances, and in the saloon
during the _entr’acte_—the class who, whilst they carry on brisk
conversation and smart repartees (of a sort) with the least reputable in
public life, form the vapid nonentities of private society when females
are present. They are men, to use a phrase more expressive than elegant,
strongly addicted to _bear parties_—who think “a glass of grog and a
weed” the acme of social enjoyment, and who look upon all entertainments
that throw them into the society of ladies, or, indeed, any one of
intellect and refinement, as bores. They are the great men at the night
taverns, before alluded to. All that is, however, harmless in its way;
for the majority of those houses are exceedingly well conducted: and,
indeed, it is only the Gents of the lowest sphere who deem it spirited
to mix themselves up, in other resorts, with the ruffians of the ring
and the most degraded of either sex, in an atmosphere of oaths and
odours, where indecency is mistaken for broad humour and dull slang for
first-rate wit.
It is the cheap tailor who advertises, to whom this style of Gent goes
for his clothes. He is caught by the poetry and the names of the
articles related; as well as of the establishment, whether it be
“Paletot Palace,” “the Kingdom of Kerseymere,” or “the Walhalla of
waistcoats,” as it is termed in those small but lively works of fiction
thrown with such unsparing liberality through the windows of railway
omnibuses. The following is an announcement peculiar to the
Frankensteins of these strange creations. We have written it, and
present the copy-right to any of them that may choose to adopt it.
TRIUMPHS OF BRITISH VALOUR.
Fame’s trumpet says we’ve had victories enough,
And our great soldiers leave their arms to follow the plough:
But first to London they came with their retinues complete;
Everybody makes a holiday to join in the fête.
Gents’ clothes now are cheap; buy, if you have not,
And go to Sholomansh’s celebrated depot.
Mark their drab Chesterfield of the first water,
With the first rain ’twill shrink three inches shorter.
Twelve shillings new—it surely can’t be dear,
And warranted to wear for half the year.
The celebrated window-cleaning blouse,
To buy at six-and-six you can’t refuse.
The pound dress-coat is worthy of all praise,
And fashionably made of fine black baize.
With contract suits they build for eager nobs,
In the most dashing style of Sunday snobs.
Coarse cloth, rude work, bad cutting, and quick wear,
With Sholomansh what other can compare?
And recollect—old suits to be return’d
If when worn out they’re not worth being burned.
To suit all climes, Iceland and Ararat,
For cash he’ll dress you out, and with eclat.
LIST OF PRICES.
£ s. d.
Dress coats, warranted to wear three 1 10 0
weeks
Ditto trowsers, fashionable plaid or 0 9 6
railroad
Splendid vests, of the revolving 0 5 6
bottle-jack style
Pasha and Taglioni wrappers, of the last 0 16 0
horse-cloth out-for-the-day
half-price-to-the-play pattern
Young Gent’s Rob Roy, and Glenalvon 0 15 0
dresses
Montemolin cloak, 9 yards round, 1 10 0
warranted to hide the seediest clothes
Metropolitan shooting costume, for the 2 15 0
fields in the vicinity of London
(complete)
Fashionable Epping hunting-coat 1 10 0
Racket blouses and morning tenderdens, 0 3 6
adapted to Gents in the Queen’s Bench,
from
A large assortment. Terms cash.
_Vivat Regina._ No money returned.
N.B.—Observe the Address: SHOLOMANSH,
CHEAP TAILOR and GENT-FITTER, CITY.
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