"No," I said.
For a man who did not love a girl he was the most violently jealous
person I have ever known. When he got through questioning me about
Dick, he started in all over again about Robert Bennet. I foresaw that
we were to have a pretty quarrelsome Christmas, so I tried my best to
change the subject.
I showed him all the photographs on my bureau, of my father, my mother,
and my thirteen brothers and sisters, and told him about each of them.
He listened with seeming politeness, and then swept the whole matter
aside with:
"Hang your family! I'm not interested in them. Now, about this
Bennet--" and he started in all over again.
Finally, thoroughly exasperated, I turned on him and said:
"You have no right to question or accuse me like this. No man has that
right unless I specially give it to him."
He said roughly:
"Give me the right then, Nora."
"Not unless you care for me," I said. "You say you are only interested
in me. Well, say you love me, and then I'll do anything you wish. I
won't look at or speak to or think of any other man in the world."
"Well, suppose I admit that. Suppose I were to tell you that I do love
you, what would you want then, Nora?"
"Why, nothing," I said. "That would be everything to me, don't you see?
I'd go to school then, just as you want me to, and I'd study so hard,
and try to pull myself up till I was on your level--"
"Oh, good God!" he said, "you are miles above me now."
"Not socially," I said. "In the eyes of the world I'm not. I'm just a
working-girl, and you're a man in--in--fashionable society, rich and
important. I guess you could be President if you wanted to, couldn't
you?"
"Oh, Nora!" he said, and I went on:
"Yes, you might. You can't tell. Suppose you got into politics. You
said your grandfather was governor of your State. Well, why shouldn't
you be, too? So don't you see, to be your wife, I'd have to--"
"To be--what?" he interrupted me, and then he said sharply and quickly:
"That's out of the question. Put all thought of anything like that out
of your head. Suppose we change the subject right now. What do you say
to a little sleigh-ride?"
I nodded and I tried to smile, but he had hurt me as hard as it is
possible for a man to hurt a woman.
It was not that I looked upon marriage as such a desirable goal; but it
was at least a test of the man's sincerity. As he had blundered on with
his senseless jealousy of men who did want to marry me, I had dreamed
a little dream.
We had our ride, and then dinner in the middle of the afternoon. Bennet
was there for dinner. He thought Mr. Hamilton was our new lodger, and
before him at least I did conceal my real feelings. Anyhow, I confess
that I felt none too warmly toward Roger now. He had descended upon me
on this Christmas day, and while putting his gifts on my neck with one
hand, he had struck me with the other. Do not suppose, however, that my
love for him lessened. You can soothe a fever by a cooling drink; you
cannot cure it.
Bennet had to go immediately after dinner, and I went with him as
far as the door. All our rooms on the ground floor ran into one
another, so that from the dining-room one could see directly into the
reception-hall. Bob--for I always called him that--led me along by the
arm, and suddenly mama clapped her hands loudly, and he seized me and
kissed me! I was under the mistletoe. Roger knocked over his chair, and
I heard him swear. Bob also heard, but neither of us cared.