"The man was my whole world, all the time,
With his flowers and praise, and his weeds to blame;
And either, or both, to love."
--Browning.
The Father of the District never saw his unruly children again; nor did
Mrs Dudley Norton ever return to Dera Ishmael Khan. The telegram he
despatched to her on arrival, made light of his wound, and its possible
result; perhaps because pride urged him to take the initiative rather
than submit to the culminating proof of her total detachment from him;
perhaps because he shrewdly guessed that she could not reach him in
time.
It had needed all the reserves of strength that are the reward of clean
and temperate living, to keep him alive throughout the return marches.
Yet the feat was accomplished, and his official report--a lucid,
vigorous bit of work--drawn up in full; with the result that, in
leisurely course of time--a mere trifle of seven months or so after the
event--there appeared in the 'Army Gazette' the names of Major Desmond,
V.C., Captain Lenox, C.I.E., and Lieutenant Richardson, as officers on
whom her Majesty had been graciously pleased to bestow the
Distinguished Service Order. The principal Native officers, whose
gallantry had been so notable a feature of that grim day's work,
received the coveted Order of Merit; Hira Singh and his brother being
gazetted, though killed, that their widows might draw a larger pension.
For England is rarely unmindful of her heroes; notwithstanding her
superb dilatoriness in honouring the men who risk death and disablement
for the maintenance of her scattered Empire.
With the completion of the report, on which his heart was set, the will
to live deserted Dudley Norton. To drop in harness was, as he had said
to Quita, a kinder fate than the dismal disintegration of a loveless
old age; and the loosening of his grip on life brought reaction sharp
and sudden, from which he never rallied again.
His death, following close upon that of the two Sikh officers, cast a
temporary gloom over the station; and on the occasion of its
announcement, the two chief papers of Upper India broke out into
journalistic eulogies on the notable qualities of the man's work and
character; extolling his strength and breadth of purpose and of view;
his daring disregard for red-tape and all the paraphernalia of
mechanical officialdom; and above all, his remarkable hold upon the
Frontier tribes; administering, too late--with true human
perversity--the praise that had been so grudgingly dealt out to him
when ambition was at its height, when a word or two of generous
recognition would have atoned in some measure for the failure and
embitterment of his private life. Finally, they commiserated with the
man on whom would devolve the insuperable task of replacing a Dudley
Norton.
He arrived in due course:--a stop-gap from an obscure down-country
station; a man of hide-bound conventionalism, who brought with him
three children and a washed-out, subdued-looking wife, and who spoke
magnanimously of Norton as "a clever fellow, of course, but deplorably
casual officially." With such haphazard shifting of pawns on the
chess-board is the momentous game of Empire played. Yet long after
Dudley Norton's name had been almost forgotten by the overtasked,
fluctuating world of Anglo-India, it still remained a household word
among the Mahsud Waziris, whose brothers in blood had so treacherously
taken his life.
And while Norton lay dying at the Desmonds' bungalow, Richardson was
established under his friend's roof as a matter of course. For this is
India: the land of the Good Samaritan, as those who have lived there
longest know best. It has been well said that "an Englishman's house
in India is not his castle, but a thousand better things--a casual
ward, a convalescent home, a rest-house for the strayed traveller; and
he himself is the steward of it merely." That this is no exaggeration
but simple fact, Quita had already seen; and now, when she herself was
called upon to obey the unwritten law of her husband's country and
service, Lenox noted, with a throb of pride, that for all her artist's
tendency to shrink from pain and suffering, she rose to the situation
like a high-mettled horse to a fence.
On their first evening together, when Dick, under the merciful
influence of morphia, had forgotten pain in sleep, Lenox spoke to her
of the thought that troubled his mind.
He was lying back luxuriously in his deep chair--the wounded shoulder
and left arm scientifically bandaged--while Quita hovered about him, or
knelt at his side; her every tone and gesture, and the misty shining of
her eyes, enveloping him in so exquisite an atmosphere of tenderness
that, like Stevenson, Lenox felt inclined to vote for separations (not
to say wounds) when they were both safely over!
"Come here a minute, darling," he said at length, drawing her down
beside him. "I want to tell you about Dick. There's no getting at the
rights of it, of course. He won't say a word himself; and I went all
to pieces for the moment. I only know that when the firing was
hottest, he managed to cross in front of me; that the bullet in his leg
ought by rights to have gone into mine; and it's quite bad enough to
know that."
Quita's eyes swam in sudden tears. "I always thought him a dear
fellow," she said softly. "Just a dear fellow; not much more. But
now--one begins to admire your 'Dick.'"
Lenox nodded. "You never quite know what stuff a fellow's made of till
he gets his chance."
But Quita, crouching lower, had bowed her forehead upon his hand.
"What is it, lass?" he asked; and when she looked up, not only her
lashes, but her cheeks were wet.
"Eldred, am I hideously wicked?" she faltered. "I was--I was thanking
God that he _did_ take his chance. Think--if it _had_ been you! _Am_
I wicked?"
He drew her close, and kissed her. "Hardly that, dearest. Only very
human."
"But there's no danger, is there? No permanent damage done?"
"No. Mercifully the bullet only grazed the bone. He may have a week
of fever, and a slow convalescence; but you'll not grudge the trouble
of nursing him, after what I've told you."
"I'd never have done that. And now,"--she rose to her feet, her eyes
kindling,--"now it will be a privilege. Oh, I'll be ever so good to
him," she added under her breath.
And for the next three weeks--being, as she had said, a creature of
extremes--she was so uniformly and enchantingly 'good to him' that
those long days of fever, pain, and enforced idleness were among the
most delectable Max Richardson had ever known, or ever wished to know;
that, in truth, each landmark on the road back to health and duty could
no longer be regarded with that unmixed satisfaction common to the
masculine invalid.
But Richardson was too little capable of analysis to be troubled by
this wrong-headed state of things, or to detect the hidden seed from
which his flower of contentment sprang. Mrs Lenox was astonishingly
kind to him, and quite the most charming companion a sick man could
desire: that was all.
His sharp bout of fever once over, she sang to him, read to him, argued
with him on a quaint variety of subjects, enlarging his mental horizon,
drawing out thoughts and opinions at whose existence he had never
guessed till now. But for him the hidden charm of their intercourse
lay less in what she said or sang, than in the vibrations of her voice;
in the quick response of lips and eyes to her April changes of mood;
and more than all in her unfailing spirit of humour, which broke up the
monotone of days spent in a long chair as a prism breaks white light
into a band of brilliant colours. For Quita's genius was not of the
highly specialised order. It did not inhabit an air-tight compartment
of her brain where pictures grew. It pervaded her whole personality.
It was not merely a genius for art, but for living, for being vital,
for seeing and feeling and doing all that it is possible to see and
feel and do in the sum of man's threescore years and ten. Small wonder
then if Max Richardson enjoyed his convalescence, and was in no hurry
to complete the process.
As for Quita, she was unconsciously slipping back to her favourite
pastime, to that alluring compound of friendship and etherealised
flirtation which she had likened to fencing with the buttons off the
foils. The outcome of her last fencing-bout might have awakened
glimmerings of caution in a less reckless offender. But Richardson was
not to be named in the same day with James Garth; and in his case it
was less a matter of fencing than of 'two heads bending over the same
board till they touch, and the thrill passes between them'; a dangerous
variation of the same amusement. The two heads had not touched as yet.
In all probability they never would. But prophecy is unsafe where the
human heart is in question: and as the month slipped by, and Eldred's
reabsorption in the Battery and the hated articles left them constantly
alone together, Quita grew genuinely fond of this big, fair man, with
his unruffled sweetness of temper, and lazily smiling eyes. He
satisfied the lighter elements in her nature as completely as her
husband satisfied its deeper needs; and in truth, so little did one
man's sphere of influence trench upon the other's, that she had almost
been capable of loving both at once; each with a different set of
faculties:--an achievement only possible to that bewildering creation,
the artist woman!
Not that Quita had yet achieved anything so remarkable. But her
feeling for Richardson, founded upon gratitude and built up by
sympathy, was a real thing; and being singularly free from the taint of
baser clay, she frankly acknowledged the fact, not only to herself but,
on more than one occasion, to her husband, thinking to please him by
her appreciation of his friend.
But man is born to perversity as the sparks fly upward; which is more
than half the reason why he is born to trouble. Also, perversity
apart, it was early days for a husband, endowed with the normal man's
desire for exclusive possession, to stand the strain of a triangular
household. Therefore, when Quita, extolling Richardson's patience and
gratitude, remarked for the second time with unguarded fervour, "One
really grows much too fond of the dear fellow," Lenox turned upon her a
straight glance of scrutiny.
"Great luck for him. Have you ever told him so, I wonder?"
The undernote of sarcasm in his half-bantering tone brought the blood
to her cheeks. But her manner froze in proportion to her inward heat.
"Am I given to making promiscuous declarations of that sort?"
"Not that I am aware of. But you have rather original ideas on the
platonic question; and one can never quite tell where you draw the
line."
"I draw it at telling a man I am fond of him," she answered, with a
slight lift of her head. "Even a man so little likely to misunderstand
one as your Dick."
"Is _that_ what you call him now?"
"I won't answer such a question. You may think what you please."
Then, in defiance of dignity and pride, her lip quivered, and she came
closer to him.
"Eldred, what makes you say such detestable things? I thought you
wanted me to be good to him. Are you--angry with me about it now?"
The touch of hesitancy, so rare in her, disarmed the man, reawakened
his better self; and slipping an arm round her, he crushed her against
him with a force that took away her breath.
"I'm a selfish brute, Quita. That's all about it," he said bluntly.
"And Dick's the best chap in the world."
She hid her eyes a moment against his coat. Then straightened herself,
and stood away from him. "You exaggerate the selfishness, I assure
you," she said, smiling at his gravity of aspect. "And even if you
didn't, I could forgive that; but not that you should so misunderstand
my whole nature. Honestly, Eldred, I would almost rather you struck
me."
"Struck you? Great Scott!"
The amazement in his eyes brought a sparkle into her own.
"Yes, exactly. That's so like a man! D'you fancy I don't know that if
you laid your littlest finger on me roughly, in a moment of heat, you'd
never forgive yourself? Yet you struck something much more sensitive
than my mere body, when you said you couldn't tell where I drew the
line. I may not have been reared upon copy-book maxims, but I have my
own ideas about the fitness of things; even if they don't coincide with
yours, at least I think I may be trusted not to disgrace you."
"Do you really need to tell me that, Quita?"
"It seems so--after what you said just now."
He frowned. "You can wipe out what I said just now, lass. It was
spoken in annoyance."
"Well, please don't say such things again, even in annoyance; or there
will never be any peace between us. Besides, my dear, they are quite,
quite unworthy of you, and no one knows that better than yourself."
She came closer now, and laying both hands upon him, lifted her face to
his. Then she left the study, with the seal of reconciliation upon her
lips, and revived assurance in her heart.
But Lenox, drawing out pipe and tobacco-pouch, as he watched her go,
was discomfortably aware that his first attempt at remonstrance had
ended in strategic surrender. Not only had he failed to dispel the
nameless cloud that hung upon him, but he had managed matters so ill
that now the whole subject must be labelled 'dangerous'; not to be
reopened except under special stress of circumstance.
"She needs riding on the snaffle," was his masculine reflection,
arising from the natural conviction that in all matters of moment the
mastery must rest with him; which was not Quita's view by any means;
and her husband was just beginning to recognise the fact. He noted, in
spite of her genuine devotion, a curious detachment, mental and moral,
a certain airy evasion of common, womanly responsibility, the free
attitude of the good comrade rather than the wife; inherent tendencies,
fostered and established by the dead years that took their toll at
every turn.
Each week of living with her deepened his conviction that the winning
of the entire woman would be a matter of time and trouble; of acquiring
knowledge in which he was still sadly deficient. And how infinitely
she was worth it all! He reminded himself that the first year of
marriage was proverbially difficult; that two pronounced
individualities could not be expected to fuse without a certain degree
of turmoil; and having lighted his pipe, he flung himself into a chair,
and closed his eyes.
For his trouble of mind had a physical basis of which his wife knew
nothing. His wound, though only keeping him on the sick-list a week,
had given him a good deal of pain, intermittent fever, and broken
nights, which he had made light of that Quita might feel free to devote
herself to Richardson, whose first bout of fever had been severe. But
when pain and heated blood had subsided, the broken nights remained. A
crushed habit--let it be never so sternly trodden under--retains its
vitality for an amazing length of time. Lenox fought the threatened
return of insomnia with every legitimate weapon; spent the greater part
of each night in his study, writing doggedly, or pacing the long room
with mechanical persistence,--to no purpose.
Then, with a stunned incredulity, he realised what was happening.
Stealthily, insistently, the old craving was reasserting its dominion
over him. He had been prepared for the possibility of its
recrudescence once or twice in the event of illness or mental strain,
before he could count it conquered for good. But that it should have
come so soon, and upon so slight a provocation, knocked all the heart
out of him; blackened for the time being his whole outlook on life. In
ordinary circumstances, he would have found it an unspeakable relief to
share the trouble with his wife; to give her the chance she had once so
desired of helping him to fight against it. But now they were rarely
alone together for long; and her lightly detached attitude tended to
establish rather than dispel his native instinct of reserve. Moreover,
she was so happily absorbed in ministering to his friend, that he
shrank from shadowing her bright nature with the cloud that darkened
his own;--a mistake arising from his rudimentary knowledge of women.
For an appeal to her deeper sympathies might have wakened her
undeveloped mother instinct; and by drawing them into closer union
might have averted much. But in the last event, it is 'character that
makes circumstance, and character is inexorable.'
Thus Lenox, lying back in his chair, was still far from recognising his
fundamental error. He was simply pondering Quita's last words to him,
and endorsing their truth with characteristic honesty. He had put
himself in the wrong by his manner of broaching the subject; but the
belief in his right to speak of it remained. He was prepared to put up
with a good deal for Dick, but not for others; and it was beginning to
dawn upon him that Dick was in all likelihood the first of a series;
that only so could her need for varied companionship be satisfied. An
idea that suggested disturbing contingencies. His mind reverted to
Garth, to Sir Roger Bennet, and to the nameless unknowns who had
probably bridged the space between. Since her frank confession of
loyalty at Kajiar, he had refrained from expressing curiosity on the
subject. But a man cannot always keep his mind from straying into
forbidden places. "If only she would not treat the whole crew as if
they were her brothers; and favourite brothers at that!" had been his
thought more than once during the past few months. It was all very
well with Dick,--a gentleman through and through, without a grain of
conceit in him; but there were scores of others who would not
understand. Garth, for instance, had clearly not understood; and for
her sake, as well as his own, Lenox did not choose that she should
multiply mistakes of that kind.
With a sigh, he drew out his watch, remembering that he had consented
to be one of the judges at the Punjab Infantry sports, in which some of
his own men and Native officers were taking part. Perhaps Quita would
drive down with him: but he would not press the point.
Her infectious laughter seemed to challenge and rebuke his black mood,
as he opened the drawing-room door to find her taking her patient for a
walking tour, his hand resting on her shoulder; her face alight with
encouragement, looking up into his. For it was this big man, with his
dependence, and his simplicity of character, who had wakened the mother
spirit in Quita after all; though she was not yet alive to the fact.
They stood still when Lenox appeared, Richardson a little breathless
from some recent effort.
"He tripped over your bear's head, and I saved him from falling!" Quita
explained triumphantly. "I wanted him to try without the crutch,
because Dr Courtenay takes him in to dinner to-night; and he hardly had
to lean on me at all!"
"I told Mrs Lenox you'd be down on me if I turned her into a
walking-stick," Richardson added in half-laughing apology. "But she
insisted. And you know how much chance a fellow has when she insists!"
"Yes--_I_ know," Lenox answered, such depth of conviction in his tone
that Quita laughed again.
"_Mon Dieu_--listen to the man! One would think I spent half my time
insisting on his doing what he hates; which is a rank libel! Now, Mr
Richardson, back to your chair, please. You've done enough for one
while."
Lenox put out a hand to steady him across the room.
"He's going to beat me at picquet now, by way of gratitude," Quita
remarked, shaking out his pillows and settling him in. "Are _you_ off
anywhere, _mon cher_?"
"Yes: to the P. I. sports. I'm one of the judges."
"Then it would be quite useless to go with you. But I'll ride down, if
you like."
Lenox hesitated. He had seen the shadow of disappointment in his
subaltern's eyes.
"N . . no," he said at length. "Better stop and play with Dick. When
I come back I'll get you up into the trap, old man, and take you for a
drive before dinner. Who's coming, Quita? Just the Desmonds and
Courtenay?"
"Yes; and the Ollivers."
"I'm glad. She's good company."
"Which is more than I can say of _him_," Quita remarked, as the door
closed behind her husband. "And he takes me in. Poor me! But you'll
be on the other side; and you must be very kind to me to make up."
He smiled gravely upon her, without replying. She had established
herself on a low stool fronting him; elbows on knees, hands framing her
face, her fearless eyes searching his own.
"What are you smiling at?" she asked.
"The notion of a great buffer like me being 'kind' to _you_. It's you
and Lenox who are a long sight too kind to me. You're spoiling me
between you. Why didn't you go to the sports with him just now?"
"Because I didn't choose!" she answered sweetly. "And as for
spoiling,--what else did we have you here for? The only thing I ask in
return is that you will give up this nonsense about not letting me
paint your portrait. Will you, please?"
He was silent a moment, tugging at his fair moustache, his eyes
avoiding hers. Then:
"It wouldn't be worth all the work you'd put into it," he objected with
an uneasy laugh.
"I'm the best judge of that. Inspiration's been dead in me for months;
and now that you have set the spark ablaze, it's hardly fair or
gracious to fling cold water on the poor thing. But of course if the
sittings would bore you, now you can move about a bit----"
"Bore me? Mrs Lenox!" He looked straight at her now, emphatic denial
in his gaze; and she nodded contentedly, knowing that her point was
gained.
"That's a mercy," she said. "Put on your service kit to-morrow
morning, and we'll start in earnest. I'm longing to begin. But in the
meantime you are generously permitted to beat me at picquet!"
The dinner that evening was, as Quita explained, "Just a family
affair," to celebrate Richardson's good progress, and drink success to
the punitive expedition, which on that very day was filing through the
Gomal Pass into Mahsud territory, to take toll, not only in men's
lives, but 'in steer and gear and stack' for that day of treachery and
black disaster, whose hidden motive still remained a mystery even to
those most intimate with the tribes of the district.
Honor, who had not seen Lenox for nearly a week, was struck by a change
in him, whose significance she understood too well. The lurking shadow
in his eyes, the bitterness in his tone,--recalling 'bad days' last hot
weather,--so troubled her that she found surface talk and laughter an
effort, and felt grateful to Frank, who could always be counted upon
for more than her share of both.
She rallied him on his gravity, in happy ignorance of the cause.
"Sure ye're just in low water, Captain Lenox," she declared with her
big laugh, "because your dapper little screw guns have been left out of
the show. You want to be hitting the scoundrels back with your own
shells, eh?"
To which Lenox replied in an undertone of savage conviction that
puzzled Honor.
"You never made a straighter shot, Mrs Olliver. I'd give five years of
my life to be taking the Battery through the Gomal to-day."
But if Lenox had little to say for himself, Quita was not in the same
dilemma. In fact, it seemed to Desmond that she talked a little too
daringly, a little too much; and for the first lime he found his
appreciation tinged with criticism.
He had gathered from Lenox that she knew little or nothing of his
hidden trouble; but it struck him that a wife of the right sort (Honor,
for instance) would have guessed the truth by now. He knew how little
Lenox appreciated the constant influx of men to tea and dinner; and one
or two people--of the social vulture species--had already spoken to him
of her friendship with Richardson in the tone of voice which made
Desmond clench and pocket his fists, lest he should knock them down out
of hand. He took advantage of his seat next the Gunner to mention,
under cover of general conversation, his anxiety about Lenox's health;
and managed also to take part in most of his talk with Quita throughout
the meal.
She redoubled her friendliness to Richardson by way of flinging down
her gage; whereupon Desmond with admirable _insouciance_ retired from
the lists. Once or twice her eyes challenged his, half-puzzled,
half-defiant. Her quick perception detected his critical attitude, and
in her present mood the undernote of antagonism acted as a spur rather
than a check upon the dare-devil strain in her, which was responsible
for her odd mingling of folly and heroic self-devotion.
Before the ladies left the table, the success and thoroughness of the
expedition was proposed with cheers; followed by a second toast, drunk
in silence, to the memory of the three men who had been alive in their
midst less than a month ago: and later in the evening--when the
Ollivers, Richardson, and Courtenay were absorbed in whist, and Honor
had gone out with Lenox into the garden, where a late moon was
rising--Desmond lured Quita to the piano at the far end of the room by
asking her to sing.
At the close of the second song, he leaned his elbow on the top of the
instrument, and stood so, searching her face with such discomposing
directness that a burning wave of colour submerged her, and she dropped
her eyes.
"I don't believe you ever criticised me till to-night, Major Desmond,"
she murmured, striking soft chords at random with her left hand.
"Not since I really came to know you," he answered in the same tone.
"You have never given me cause."
"Well--I don't like it."
"Few of us do. You prefer indiscriminate admiration?"
The flush deepened, but she looked up.
"I prefer your approval to your disapproval," she said, still moving
her hand over the notes. "But I have always gone my own way; and I
warn you that nothing rouses the devil in me like being scolded or
dictated to."
"My dear Quita, I have no right nor wish to do either. I only want to
ask you a question or two--if I may?"
"What about?"
"Your husband. He won't consult Courtenay; and I am getting anxious.
Would you mind telling me about how much sleep he has had this last
week?"
She shrugged her shoulders.
"As far as I know he hardly ever comes to bed at all."
"Quita, you are exaggerating!"
"I only mean, it's no use asking me for accurate information."
"But do you know that insomnia's a serious thing--especially for him?"
"Yes. I made a fuss when he first began working late. It's bad for
him and a nuisance for me. But I have given that up now. He's as
obstinate as I am about going his own way. It's almost the only
quality we share in common."
"Don't you feel it might be worth trying again?"
"Possibly. If _you_ think I ought."
Desmond's eyes twinkled at the implied compliment.
"I do think it."
She sighed.
"Oh, well,--I don't promise, and we've had enough of the dismal subject
for now. One never seems allowed to enjoy one's self in peace. D'you
want more music, or--would you prefer whist?"
"I'm to cut in, and leave Richardson free. Is that it?"
The blush that still burned in her cheeks spread slowly over her neck
to the soft lace at her breast; and the man felt that in his momentary
vexation he had struck too hard. Then her eyes flashed fire into his.
"Major Desmond, if you begin saying things like that to me--I shall
_hate_ you."
"No, Quita. It'll never be that between us. I apologise. But you
know I care immensely for your husband, and it angers me to see
you--apparently indifferent . . ."
"Indifferent? How _dare_ you . . . ?" she breathed low and
passionately, her breath coming in small gasps.
"I understand. But I'm not sorry I roused you.--Here comes Honor. I
know she wants to get home early. Good-night to you. Am I forgiven?"
"No. But you will be--to-morrow morning. I believe one could forgive
you almost anything."
"I'll not be base enough to take advantage of such a generous
admission," he answered, smiling and grasping her hand.
Lenox, with a keen glance at his wife's face, followed the Desmonds
into the verandah, and helped Honor into her seat.
"You'll keep your promise, won't you?" she pleaded. "And go straight
to bed without even looking into your study. Never mind if the lamp
burns there all night. You can charge me for the kerosene!"
"That's a bargain then," he answered, laughing. "It's like old times
to have _you_ laying commands on me again!"
"Not only to-night, remember: a whole week of nights and more."
"Trust me. I have promised. Good-night, Mrs Desmond, and thank you."
As the dog-cart turned into the open road, Honor spoke: "Theo, if she
lets him go to pieces again . . . I shall never, never forgive her."
There was a break in her low voice, and Desmond slipping a hand through
her arm, pressed it close against him.
"You dear blessed woman, no fear of that. She cares,--with all her
heart. But there are faults and difficulties on both sides; and I'm
afraid they have still a lot of rough ground to get over before they
settle into their stride."
And Quita, the perverse, Quita, the inconsistent, cried herself to
sleep that night upon her husband's shoulder.