_Dr. Schmidt urges Marie’s appointment as Chief of the
School, including the surrender to her of his own position as
professor--Violent medical and diplomatic opposition, becoming a
controversy over “Woman’s Rights”--Marie’s father refuses his consent
and insists that she marry a man she has never even seen--Eventually,
Dr. Schmidt wins and Marie receives her appointment--Triumph
immediately turned to tragedy by sudden death of Dr. Schmidt on the
same day. (Twenty-two years of age: 1851-1852.)_
The acknowledgment that I was a very capable woman having been made
by the medical men present at the examination, Dr. Schmidt thought
it would be an easy matter to get me installed into the position for
which I had proved myself capable. But such could not be the case
in a government ruled by hypocrisy and intrigue. To acknowledge the
capability of a woman did not by any means say that she was at liberty
to hold a position in which she could exercise this capability.
German men are educated to be slaves to the government: positive
freedom is comprehended only by a few. They generally struggle for a
kind of negative freedom, namely, for themselves. For each man, however
much he may be inclined to show his subserviency to those superior
in rank, thinks himself the lord of creation and, of course, regards
woman only as his appendage. How can this lord of creation, being a
slave himself, look upon the _free development_ and _demand for
recognition_ of his appendage otherwise than as a nonsense or a
usurpation of his exclusive rights?
And among these lords of creation, I heartily dislike that class which
not only yield to the influence brought to bear upon them by the
government but who also possess an infinite amount of narrowness and
vanity united to an infinite servility to money and position. There is
not ink and paper enough in all the world to write down the contempt I
feel for men in whose power it is to be free in thought and noble in
action, and who yet act to the contrary to feed their ambition or their
purses. I have learned, perhaps, too much of their spirit for my own
good.
You can hardly believe what I experienced in respect to intrigue within
the few months following my examination. All the members of the medical
profession were unwilling that a woman should take her place on a level
with them.
All the diplomatists became fearful that Dr. Schmidt intended to
advocate the question of “Woman’s Rights”; one of them exclaiming one
evening, in the heat of discussion, “For Heaven’s sake! the Berlin
women are already wiser than all the men of Prussia: what will become
of us if we allow them to manifest it?”
I was almost forgotten in the five months during which the question was
debated: it became more than a matter of personal intrigue. The real
question at stake was, “How shall women be educated, and what is their
true sphere?” And this was discussed with more energy and spirit than
ever has been done here in America.
Scores of letters were written by Dr. Schmidt to convince the
government that a woman could really be competent to hold the position
in question, and that I had been pronounced so by the whole faculty.
The next objection raised was that my father was known as holding
revolutionary principles; and to conquer this cost a long discussion,
with many interviews of the officials with my father and Dr. Schmidt.
The next thing urged was that I was much _too young_; that it
would be necessary, in the course of my duties, to instruct the young
men also, and that there was danger in our thus being thrown together.
In fact, this reason, read to me by Dr. Schmidt from one of the letters
written at this time (all of which are still carefully preserved), runs
thus, “To give this position to Miss M. E. Zakrzewska is dangerous. She
is a prepossessing young lady, and from coming in contact with so many
gentlemen must necessarily fall in love with some one of them, and thus
end her career.” To this, I have only to reply that I am sorry that
I could not have found _one_ among them that could have made me
follow the suggestion.
This objection, however, seemed for a while the most difficult to be
met, for it was well known that, when a student myself, I had stood
on the most friendly terms with my fellow students. And that they had
often taken my part in little disturbances that naturally came up in an
establishment where no one was permitted to enter or to leave without
giving a reason. Even my private patients were sometimes sent away at
the door because I did not know of their coming and for this reason
could not announce to the doorkeeper the name and residence of those
who might possibly call.
That this difficulty was finally conquered, I have to thank the
students themselves. My relation with these young men was of the
pleasantest kind. They never seemed to think that I was not of their
sex, but always treated me like one of themselves. I knew of their
studies and their amusements; yes, even of the mischievous pranks
that they were planning both for college and for social life. They
often made me their confidante in their private affairs, and were
more anxious for my approval or forgiveness than for that of their
relatives. I learned during this time how great is the friendly
influence of a woman even upon fast-living and licentious young men;
and this has done more to convince me of the necessity that the two
sexes should live together from infancy, than all the theories and
arguments that are brought to convince the mass of this fact.
As soon as it became known among the students that my youth was the new
objection, they treated it in such a manner that the whole thing was
transformed into a ridiculous bugbear, growing out of the imagination
of the _virtuous_ opposers.
Nothing now seemed left in the way of my attaining to the position,
when suddenly it dawned upon the mind of some that I was irreligious,
that neither my father nor my mother attended church, and that, under
such circumstances, I could not of course be a church-goer.
Fortunately, I had complied with the requirements of the law, and
could therefore bring my certificate of confirmation from one of the
Protestant churches. By the advice of Dr. Schmidt, I commenced to
attend church regularly, and continued until a little incident happened
which I must relate here.
One Sunday, just after the sermon was over, I remembered that I had
forgotten to give instructions to the nurse in respect to a patient and
I left the church without waiting for the end of the service. The next
morning, I was summoned to answer to the charge of leaving the church
at an improper time. The inquisitor (who was one of those who had
accused me of irreligion), being vexed that I contradicted him by going
to church regularly, was anxious to make me confess that I did not care
for the service. But I saw through his policy as well as his hypocrisy,
and simply told him the truth, namely, that I had forgotten important
business and therefore thought it excusable to leave as soon as the
sermon was over.
Whether he sought to lure me on to further avowals, I know not; but
whatever was his motive, he asked me in reply whether I believed that
he cared for the humdrum custom of church-going, and whether I thought
him imbecile enough to consider this as anything more than the means by
which to keep the masses in check, adding that it was the duty of the
intelligent to make the affair respectable by setting the example of
going themselves, and that he only wished me to act on this principle,
when all accusations of irreligion would fall to the ground.
I had always known that this man was not my friend, but when I heard
this, I felt disenchanted with the whole world. I had never thought
him more than a hypocrite, whereas I now found him the meanest of men
both in theory and in practice. I was thoroughly indignant, the more
so, since I felt guilty myself in going to church simply to please Dr.
Schmidt.
I do not remember what answer I gave, but I know that my manners and
words made it evident that I considered him a villain. He never forgave
me for this, as all his future acts proved to me. For, in his position
of chief director of the hospital, he had it in his power, more than
any one else, to annoy me, and that he did so you will presently see.
The constant opposition and attendant excitement, together with the
annoyances which my father, as civil officer, had to endure, made him
resolve to present a declaration to the government that I should never,
with his consent, enter the position. He had become so tired of my
efforts to become a public character in my profession that he suddenly
conceived the wish to have me married.
Now, take for a moment into consideration the facts that I was but
twenty-two years of age, full of sanguine enthusiasm for my vocation,
and strong in the friendship of Dr. Schmidt. He had inspired me with
the idea of a career different from the common routine of domestic life.
My mother, overcoming her repugnance to my entering my profession, had
been my best friend, encouraging me steadily; while my father, yielding
to the troubles that it involved, had become disgusted with it, and
wished me to abandon my career. He was stern, and would not take back
his word. I could do nothing without his consent; while Dr. Schmidt had
finally overcome all difficulties and had the prospect of victory if my
father would but yield.
A few weeks of this life were sufficient to drive one mad, and I am
sure that I was near becoming so. I was resolved to run away from home
or to kill myself, while my father was equally resolved to marry me to
a man whom I had never seen.
Matters finally came to a crisis through the illness of Dr. Schmidt,
whose health failed so rapidly that it was thought dangerous to let him
be longer excited by the fear of not realizing his favorite scheme.
Some of his medical advisers influenced the government to appeal to my
father to withdraw his declaration, which, satisfied with the honor
thus done him, he did on the 1st of May, 1852.
On the 15th of May, I received my legal installment to the position
for which Dr. Schmidt had designed me. The joy that I felt was great
beyond expression. A youthful enthusiast of twenty-two, I stood at the
height of my wishes and expectations. I had obtained what others could
obtain only after the protracted labor of half a lifetime, and already
I saw myself in imagination occupying the place of Dr. Schmidt’s
aspirations--that of a German _Lachapelle_.
No one who has not passed at the same age through the same excitement
can comprehend the fullness of my rejoicing, which was not wholly
selfish, for I knew that nothing in the world would please Dr. Schmidt
so much as this victory. The wildest joy of an accepted suitor is a
farce compared to my feelings on the morning of that 15th of May. I
was reconciled to my bitterest opponents, I could even have thanked
them for their opposition, since it had made the success so much the
sweeter.
Not the slightest feeling of triumph was in my heart; all was happiness
and rejoicing. And it was in this condition of mind and heart that
I put on my bonnet and shawl to carry the good news to Dr. Schmidt.
Without waiting to be announced, I hastened to his parlor, where I
found him sitting with his wife upon the sofa. I did not walk, but
flew, towards them and threw the letter upon the table, exclaiming,
“There is the victory!”
Like a conflagration, my joy spread to Dr. Schmidt as well as to his
wife, who thought that she saw in these tidings a cup of new life for
her husband. I stayed only long enough to accept their congratulations.
Dr. Schmidt told me to be sure to come the next morning to enter
legally upon my duties at his side. He saw that I needed the open air,
and felt that he too must have it to counteract his joy. I went to tell
my father and several friends, and spent the day in blissful ignorance
of the dreadful event that was transpiring.
The next morning at seven o’clock, I left home to go to my residence in
the hospital. I had not slept during the night; the youthful fire of
enthusiasm burnt too violently to allow me any rest.
The old doorkeeper opened the door for me, and gazed at me with an air
of surprise. “What is the matter?” I asked. “I am astonished to see you
so cheerful,” said he. “Why?” I asked with astonishment. “Don’t you
know that Dr. Schmidt is dead?” was the answer. Dr. Schmidt dead! I
trembled; I staggered; I fell upon a chair.
The beautiful entrance hall, serving also as a greenhouse during the
winter, filled in every place with flowers and tropical fruit, faded
from my eyes; and in its stead I saw nothing but laughing faces,
distorted with scorn and mockery.
A flood of tears cooled the heat of my brain, and a calmness like that
of death soon took possession of me. I had fallen from the topmost
height of joy and happiness to the profoundest depth of disappointment
and despair. If there was nothing else to prove the strength of my
mind, the endurance of this sudden change would be sufficient.
I went at once to Dr. Schmidt’s residence in the Hospital Park, where I
met him again, not as I had expected an hour before ready to go with me
to the hospital department which I was henceforth to superintend, but
as a corpse.
After I had left the day before, he had expressed a wish to go into the
open air, his excitement nearly equaling mine. Mrs. Schmidt ordered the
carriage, and they drove to the large park. He talked constantly and
excitedly about the satisfaction he felt in this success until they
arrived, when he wished to get out of the carriage and walk with his
wife. Mrs. Schmidt consented, but they had taken only a few steps when
he sank to the ground, and a gush of blood from his mouth terminated
his existence.