_School life continues--Her mother begins training for career of
midwife--Because of eye trouble, Marie resides in hospital with her
mother, and becomes protégée of Dr. Müller--First real knowledge of
medicine as a career--Adventure in morgue and dissecting rooms--Begins
to read medical books. (Nine to eleven years of age: 1838-1840.)_
At the end of the year, my cousin left the hospital. At the same time,
trouble and constant sickness fell upon our family.
My father, who held liberal opinions and was of an impetuous
temperament, manifested some revolutionary tendencies, which drew upon
him the displeasure of the government and caused his dismissal, with
a very small pension, from his position as military officer. This
involved us in great pecuniary difficulties, for our family was large
and my father’s income too small to supply the most necessary wants,
and to obtain other occupation was for the time out of the question.
In this emergency, my mother determined to petition the city government
for admission to the school of midwives established in Berlin, in order
in this manner to aid in the support of the family. Influential friends
of my father secured her the election, and she was admitted to the
school in 1839, I being at that time ten years of age.
The education of midwives for Berlin requires a two years’ course of
study, during six months of which, they are obliged to reside in the
hospital to receive instructions from the professors together with the
male students. My mother went there in the summer of 1840. I went to
stay at the house of an aunt who wished my company, and the rest of the
children were put out together, to board.
In a few weeks my eyes became affected with weakness so that I could
neither read nor write, and I begged my mother to let me stay with
her in the hospital. She applied for permission to the director and
received a favorable answer.
I was placed under the care of one of the physicians (Dr. Müller), who
took a great fancy to me and made me go with him wherever he went while
engaged in the hospital. My eyes being bandaged, he led me by the hand,
calling me his “little blind doctor.” In this way, I was constantly
with him, hearing all his questions and directions, which impressed
themselves the more strongly on my mind from the fact that I could not
see but had to gain all my knowledge through hearing alone.
One afternoon, when I had taken the bandage off my eyes for the first
time, Dr. Müller told me that there was a corpse of a young man in the
dead-house that had turned completely green in consequence of poison
that he had eaten. I went there after my rounds with him, but finding
the room filled with relatives who were busily engaged in adorning the
body with flowers, I thought that I would not disturb them but would
wait until they had gone before I looked at it; meanwhile I went
through the adjoining rooms.
These were all freshly painted. The dissecting tables, with the
necessary apparatus, stood in the center, while the bodies, clad
in white gowns, were ranged on boards along the walls. I examined
everything, came back, and looked to my heart’s content at the poisoned
young man, without noticing that, not only had the relatives left but
the prosector had also gone away, after locking up the whole building.
I then went a second time to the other rooms, and looked again at
everything there; and at last, when it became dark and I could not
leave the house, sat down upon the floor and went to sleep, after
knocking for half an hour at the door in the hope that some passer
might hear.
My mother, who knew that I had gone with Dr. Müller, did not trouble
herself about me until nine o’clock, when she grew uneasy at my stay;
and, thinking that he might have taken me to his rooms, went there in
search of me, but found that he was out and that the doors were locked.
She then inquired whether the people in the house knew anything about
me, and was told that they had last seen me going into the dead-house.
Alarmed at this intelligence, my mother hastened to the prosector, who
unwillingly went with her to the park in which the dead-house stood,
assuring her all the way that I could not possibly be there; but, on
opening the door, he saw me sitting close by on the floor fast asleep.
In a few days after this adventure, I recovered the use of my eyes.
As it was at this time the summer vacation in which I had no school
tasks, I asked Dr. Müller for some books to read. He inquired what
kind of books I wanted. I told him, “Books about history,” upon which
he gave me two huge volumes, the _History of Midwifery_ and the
_History of Surgery_. Both were so interesting that I read them
through during the six weeks of vacation, which occupied me so closely
that even my friend Dr. Müller could not lay hold of me when he went
his morning and evening rounds.
From this time I date my study of medicine, for though I did not
continue to read on the subject, I was instructed in the no less
important branch of psychology by a new teacher whom I found on my
return to school at the close of the summer vacation.