Ivan Lapkin, a youth of pleasing exterior, and Anna Zamblitskaya, a girl
with a tip-tilted nose, descended the steep river bank and took their
seats on a bench at its foot. The bench stood at the water’s edge in a
thicket of young willows. It was a lovely spot. Sitting there, one was
hidden from all the world and observed only by fish and the
daddy-longlegs that skimmed like lightning across the surface of the
water. The young people were armed with fishing-rods, nets, cans
containing worms, and other fishing appurtenances. They sat down on the
bench and immediately began to fish.
“I am glad that we are alone at last,” began Lapkin glancing behind him.
“I have a great deal to say to you, Miss Anna, a very great deal. When
first I saw you—you’ve got a bite!—I realized at last the reason for my
existence. I knew that you were the idol at whose feet I was to lay the
whole of an honourable and industrious life—that’s a big one biting! On
seeing you I fell in love for the first time in my life. I fell madly in
love!—Don’t pull yet, let it bite a little longer!—Tell me, dearest, I
beg you, if I may aspire, not to a return of my affection—no, I am not
worthy of that, I dare not even dream of it—but tell me if I may aspire
to—pull!” With a shriek, Anna jerked the arm that held the fishing-rod
into the air; a little silvery-green fish dangled glistening in the
sunlight.
“Goodness gracious, it’s a perch! Oh, oh, be quick, it’s coming off!”
The perch fell off the hook, flopped across the grass toward its native
element, and splashed into the water.
Somehow, while pursuing it, Lapkin accidentally seized Anna’s hand
instead of the fish and accidentally pressed it to his lips. Anna pulled
it away, but it was too late, their lips accidentally met in a kiss. It
all happened accidentally. A second kiss succeeded the first, and then
followed vows and the plighting of troth. Happy moments! But perfect
bliss does not exist on earth, it often bears a poison in itself, or
else is poisoned by some outside circumstances. So it was in this case.
When the young people had exchanged kisses they heard a sudden burst of
laughter. They looked at the river in stupefaction; before them, up to
his waist in water, stood a naked boy: it was Kolia, Anna’s schoolboy
brother! He stood there smiling maliciously with his eyes fixed on the
young people.
“Aha! You’re kissing one another, are you? All right, I’ll tell mamma!”
“I hope that, as an honourable boy—” faltered Lapkin, blushing. “To spy
on us is mean, but to sneak is low, base, vile. I am sure that, as a
good and honourable boy, you——”
“Give me a rouble and I won’t say anything!” answered the honourable
boy. “If you don’t, I’ll tell on you——”
Lapkin took a rouble from his pocket and gave it to Kolia. The boy
seized it in his wet hand, whistled, and swam away. The young couple
exchanged no more kisses on that occasion.
Next day Lapkin brought Kolia a box of paints from town and a ball; his
sister gave him all her old pill-boxes. They next had to present him
with a set of studs with little dogs’ heads on them. The bad boy
obviously relished the game and began spying on them so as to get more
presents. Wherever Lapkin and Anna went, there he went too. He never
left them to themselves for a moment.
“The little wretch!” muttered Lapkin grinding his teeth. “So young and
yet so great a rascal! What will become of us?”
All through the month of June Kolia tormented the unhappy lovers. He
threatened them with betrayal, he spied on them, and then demanded
presents; he could not get enough, and at last began talking of a watch.
The watch was given him.
Once during dinner, while the waffles were on the table, he burst out
laughing, winked, and said to Lapkin:
“Shall I tell them, eh?”
Lapkin blushed furiously and put his napkin into his mouth instead of a
waffle. Anna jumped up from the table and ran into another room.
The young people remained in this situation until the end of August when
the day at last came on which Lapkin proposed for Anna’s hand. Oh, what
a joyful day it was! No sooner had he spoken with his sweetheart’s
parents and obtained their consent to his suit, than Lapkin rushed into
the garden in search of Kolia. He nearly wept with exultation on finding
him, and caught the wicked boy by the ear. Anna came running up, too,
looking for Kolia, and seized him by the other ear. The pleasure
depicted on the faces of the lovers when Kolia wept and begged for mercy
was well worth seeing.
“Dear, good, sweet angels, I won’t do it again! Ouch, ouch! Forgive me!”
Kolia implored them.
They confessed afterward that during all their courtship they had never
once experienced such bliss, such thrilling rapture, as they did during
those few moments when they were pulling the ears of that wicked boy.