WHEREIN THE ELDER AMMON OFFERS ADVICE, AND EDITH CARR EXPERIENCES
REGRETS
Philip Ammon walked from among his friends a humiliated and a wounded
man. Never before had Edith Carr appeared quite so beautiful. All
evening she had treated him with unusual consideration. Never had he
loved her so deeply. Then in a few seconds everything was different.
Seeing the change in her face, and hearing her meaningless accusations,
killed something in his heart. Warmth went out and a cold weight took
its place. But even after that, he had offered the ring to her again,
and asked her before others to reconsider. The answer had been further
insult.
He walked, paying no heed to where he went. He had traversed many miles
when he became aware that his feet had chosen familiar streets. He was
passing his home. Dawn was near, but the first floor was lighted. He
staggered up the steps and was instantly admitted. The library door
stood open, while his father sat with a book pretending to read. At
Philip’s entrance the father scarcely glanced up.
“Come on!” he called. “I have just told Banks to bring me a cup of
coffee before I turn in. Have one with me!”
Philip sat beside the table and leaned his head on his hands, but he
drank a cup of steaming coffee and felt better.
“Father,” he said, “father, may I talk with you a little while?”
“Of course,” answered Mr. Ammon. “I am not at all tired. I think I must
have been waiting in the hope that you would come. I want no one’s
version of this but yours. Tell me the straight of the thing, Phil.”
Philip told all he knew, while his father sat in deep thought.
“On my life I can’t see any occasion for such a display of temper,
Phil. It passed all bounds of reason and breeding. Can’t you think of
anything more?”
“I cannot!”
“Polly says every one expected you to carry the moth you caught to
Edith. Why didn’t you?”
“She screams if a thing of that kind comes near her. She never has
taken the slightest interest in them. I was in a big hurry. I didn’t
want to miss one minute of my dance with her. The moth was not so
uncommon, but by a combination of bad luck it had become the rarest in
America for a friend of mine, who is making a collection to pay college
expenses. For an instant last June the series was completed; when a
woman’s uncontrolled temper ruined this specimen and the search for it
began over. A few days later a pair was secured, and again the money
was in sight for several hours. Then an accident wrecked one-fourth of
the collection. I helped replace those last June, all but this Yellow
Emperor which we could not secure, and we haven’t been able to find,
buy or trade for one since. So my friend was compelled to teach this
past winter instead of going to college. When that moth came flying in
there to-night, it seemed to me like fate. All I thought of was, that
to secure it would complete the collection and secure the money. So I
caught the Emperor and started it to Elnora. I declare to you that I
was not out of the pavilion over three minutes at a liberal estimate.
If I only had thought to speak to the orchestra! I was sure I would be
back before enough couples gathered and formed for the dance.”
The eyes of the father were very bright.
“The friend for whom you wanted the moth is a girl?” he asked
indifferently, as he ran the book leaves through his fingers.
“The girl of whom I wrote you last summer, and told you about in the
fall. I helped her all the time I was away.”
“Did Edith know of her?”
“I tried many times to tell her, to interest her, but she was so
indifferent that it was insulting. She would not hear me.”
“We are neither one in any condition to sleep. Why don’t you begin at
the first and tell me about this girl? To think of other matters for a
time may clear our vision for a sane solution of this. Who is she, just
what is she doing, and what is she like? You know I was reared among
those Limberlost people, I can understand readily. What is her name and
where does she live?”
Philip gave a man’s version of the previous summer, while his father
played with the book industriously.
“You are very sure as to her refinement and education?”
“In almost two months’ daily association, could a man be mistaken? She
can far and away surpass Polly, Edith, or any girl of our set on any
common, high school, or supplementary branch, and you know high schools
have French, German, and physics now. Besides, she is a graduate of two
other institutions. All her life she has been in the school of Hard
Knocks. She has the biggest, tenderest, most human heart I ever knew in
a girl. She has known life in its most cruel phases, and instead of
hardening her, it has set her trying to save other people suffering.
Then this nature position of which I told you; she graduated in the
School of the Woods, before she secured that. The Bird Woman, whose
work you know, helped her there. Elnora knows more interesting things
in a minute than any other girl I ever met knew in an hour, provided
you are a person who cares to understand plant and animal life.”
The book leaves slid rapidly through his fingers as the father drawled:
“What sort of looking girl is she?”
“Tall as Edith, a little heavier, pink, even complexion, wide open
blue-gray eyes with heavy black brows, and lashes so long they touch
her cheeks. She has a rope of waving, shining hair that makes a real
crown on her head, and it appears almost red in the light. She is as
handsome as any fair woman I ever saw, but she doesn’t know it. Every
time any one pays her a compliment, her mother, who is a caution,
discovers that, for some reason, the girl is a fright, so she has no
appreciation of her looks.”
“And you were in daily association two months with a girl like that!
How about it, Phil?”
“If you mean, did I trifle with her, no!” cried Philip hotly. “I told
her the second time I met her all about Edith. Almost every day I wrote
to Edith in her presence. Elnora gathered violets and made a fancy
basket to put them in for Edith’s birthday. I started to err in too
open admiration for Elnora, but her mother brought me up with a whirl I
never forgot. Fifty times a day in the swamps and forests Elnora made a
perfect picture, but I neither looked nor said anything. I never met
any girl so downright noble in bearing and actions. I never hated
anything as I hated leaving her, for we were dear friends, like two
wholly congenial men. Her mother was almost always with us. She knew
how much I admired Elnora, but so long as I concealed it from the girl,
the mother did not care.”
“Yet you left such a girl and came back whole-hearted to Edith Carr!”
“Surely! You know how it has been with me about Edith all my life.”
“Yet the girl you picture is far her superior to an unprejudiced
person, when thinking what a man would require in a wife to be happy.”
“I never have thought what I would ‘require’ to be happy! I only
thought whether I could make Edith happy. I have been an idiot! What
I’ve borne you’ll never know! To-night is only one of many outbursts
like that, in varying and lesser degrees.”
“Phil, I love you, when you say you have thought only of Edith! I
happen to know that it is true. You are my only son, and I have had a
right to watch you closely. I believe you utterly. Any one who cares
for you as I do, and has had my years of experience in this world over
yours, knows that in some ways, to-night would be a blessed release, if
you could take it; but you cannot! Go to bed now, and rest. To-morrow,
go back to her and fix it up.”
“You heard what I said when I left her! I said it because something in
my heart died a minute before that, and I realized that it was my love
for Edith Carr. Never again will I voluntarily face such a scene. If
she can act like that at a ball, before hundreds, over a thing of which
I thought nothing at all, she would go into actual physical fits and
spasms, over some of the household crises I’ve seen the mater meet with
a smile. Sir, it is truth that I have thought only of her up to the
present. Now, I will admit I am thinking about myself. Father, did you
see her? Life is too short, and it can be too sweet, to throw it away
in a battle with an unrestrained woman. I am no fighter—where a girl is
concerned, anyway. I respect and love her or I do nothing. Never again
is either respect or love possible between me and Edith Carr. Whenever
I think of her in the future, I will see her as she was to-night. But I
can’t face the crowd just yet. Could you spare me a few days?”
“It is only ten days until you were to go north for the summer, go
now.”
“I don’t want to go north. I don’t want to meet people I know. There,
the story would precede me. I do not need pitying glances or rough
condolences. I wonder if I could not hide at Uncle Ed’s in Wisconsin
for awhile?”
The book closed suddenly. The father leaned across the table and looked
into the son’s eyes.
“Phil, are you sure of what you just have said?”
“Perfectly sure!”
“Do you think you are in any condition to decide to-night?”
“Death cannot return to life, father. My love for Edith Carr is dead. I
hope never to see her again.”
“If I thought you could be certain so soon! But, come to think of it,
you are very like me in many ways. I am with you in this. Public scenes
and disgraces I would not endure. It would be over with me, were I in
your position, that I know.”
“It is done for all time,” said Philip Ammon. “Let us not speak of it
further.”
“Then, Phil,” the father leaned closer and looked at the son tenderly,
“Phil, why don’t you go to the Limberlost?”
“Father!”
“Why not? No one can comfort a hurt heart like a tender woman; and,
Phil, have you ever stopped to think that you may have a duty in the
Limberlost, if you are free? I don’t know! I only suggest it. But, for
a country schoolgirl, unaccustomed to men, two months with a man like
you might well awaken feelings of which you do not think. Because you
were safe-guarded is no sign the girl was. She might care to see you.
You can soon tell. With you, she comes next to Edith, and you have made
it clear to me that you appreciate her in many ways above. So I repeat
it, why not go to the Limberlost?”
A long time Philip Ammon sat in deep thought. At last he raised his
head.
“Well, why not!” he said. “Years could make me no surer than I am now,
and life is short. Please ask Banks to get me some coffee and toast,
and I will bathe and dress so I can take the early train.”
“Go to your bath. I will attend to your packing and everything. And
Phil, if I were you, I would leave no addresses.”
“Not an address!” said Philip. “Not even Polly.”
When the train pulled out, the elder Ammon went home to find Hart
Henderson waiting.
“Where is Phil?” he demanded.
“He did not feel like facing his friends at present, and I am just back
from driving him to the station. He said he might go to Siam, or
Patagonia. He would leave no address.”
Henderson almost staggered. “He’s not gone? And left no address? You
don’t mean it! He’ll never forgive her!”
“Never is a long time, Hart,” said Mr. Ammon. “And it seems even longer
to those of us who are well acquainted with Phil. Last night was not
the last straw. It was the whole straw-stack. It crushed Phil so far as
she is concerned. He will not see her again voluntarily, and he will
not forget if he does. You can take it from him, and from me, we have
accepted the lady’s decision. Will you have a cup of coffee?”
Twice Henderson opened his lips to speak of Edith Carr’s despair. Twice
he looked into the stern, inflexible face of Mr. Ammon and could not
betray her. He held out the ring.
“I have no instructions as to that,” said the elder Ammon, drawing
back. “Possibly Miss Carr would have it as a keepsake.”
“I am sure not,” said Henderson curtly.
“Then suppose you return it to Peacock. I will phone him. He will give
you the price of it, and you might add it to the children’s Fresh Air
Fund. We would be obliged if you would do that. No one here cares to
handle the object.”
“As you choose,” said Henderson. “Good morning!”
Then he went to his home, but he could not think of sleep. He ordered
breakfast, but he could not eat. He paced the library for a time, but
it was too small. Going on the streets he walked until exhausted, then
he called a hansom and was driven to his club. He had thought himself
familiar with every depth of suffering; that night had taught him that
what he felt for himself was not to be compared with the anguish which
wrung his heart over the agony of Edith Carr. He tried to blame Philip
Ammon, but being an honest man, Henderson knew that was unjust. The
fault lay wholly with her, but that only made it harder for him, as he
realized it would in time for her.
As he sauntered into the room an attendant hurried to him.
“You are wanted most urgently at the ’phone, Mr. Henderson,” he said.
“You have had three calls from Main 5770.”
Henderson shivered as he picked down the receiver and gave the call.
“Is that you, Hart?” came Edith’s voice.
“Yes.”
“Did you find Phil?”
“No.”
“Did you try?”
“Yes. As soon as I left you I went straight there.”
“Wasn’t he home yet?”
“He has been home and gone again.”
“Gone!”
The cry tore Henderson’s heart.
“Shall I come and tell you, Edith?”
“No! Tell me now.”
“When I reached the house Banks said Mr. Ammon and Phil were out in the
motor, so I waited. Mr. Ammon came back soon. Edith, are you alone?”
“Yes. Go on!”
“Call your maid. I can’t tell you until some one is with you.”
“Tell me instantly!”
“Edith, he said he had been to the station. He said Phil had started to
Siam or Patagonia, he didn’t know which, and left no address. He
said——”
Distinctly Henderson heard her fall. He set the buzzer ringing, and in
a few seconds heard voices, so he knew she had been found. Then he
crept into a private den and shook with a hard, nervous chill.
The next day Edith Carr started on her trip to Europe. Henderson felt
certain she hoped to meet Philip there. He was sure she would be
disappointed, though he had no idea where Ammon could have gone. But
after much thought he decided he would see Edith soonest by remaining
at home, so he spent the summer in Chicago.