Mais puisque je naquis, sans doute il falloit naitre;
Si l'on m'eut consulte, j'aurais refuse l'etre.
Vains regrets! Le destin me condamnoit au jour,
Et je viens, o soleil! te maudire a mon tour.
_Lamartine_.
I have no dread,
And feel the curse to have no natural fear
Nor fluttering throb, that beats with hopes or wishes
Or lurking love of something on the earth.
_Lord Byron_.
Returned to his dwelling, Caneri seated himself to his repast, which,
though frugal in the extreme, was nevertheless served with all the
etiquette of a sovereign. The taciturnity of the renegade was if
possible more marked than ever, nor could he be prevailed upon to
partake of the food which was before them. Caneri felt an invincible
desire to dive into the mysterious history of his confidant; an attempt
which he had already frequently made, but always unattended with
success. As soon, therefore, as their meal was finished, he dismissed
the attendants, and turning to the renegade in the most friendly
manner--
"Alagraf," he said, "cheer up; let not thy noble spirit droop: think on
our cause, and rouse thy energies in proportion to the danger which
surrounds us."
"Danger!" cried the renegade, "talk not to me of danger--I am reckless
now of consequences;--what is the whole world to me? My hated, my
detested enemy is no more;--the only longing of my life is thwarted, and
I can feel no longer any interest in the pursuits of man."
"Surely!" exclaimed Caneri, somewhat alarmed, "thou dost not mean to
abandon our cause!"
"Moor!" replied the renegade, in a voice of thunder, his eyes flashing,
and his brows assuming an additional sternness--"Moor! is it to me thou
darest hold such language? Thinkest thou that being _once_ a traitor, my
whole existence must be made up of treasons? Suspicious man, know me
better; I am a dark and accursed villain; hateful alike to Christian and
Moor, but yet I am no deluded wretch, that will stoop to swerve from the
path he has once resolved to follow."
"Calm thy temper, Alagraf," said Caneri, interposing; "I meant not to
offend thee, and if I have, I pray thy indulgence: thou art sensible of
the friendship which unites us; it is from the zeal of that friendship,
that I continually urge the questions which thou seemest to avoid. Great
must be the nature of thy sufferings, and powerful the motive which
provokes such unusual signs of emotion; yet surely some consolation
might be found in trusting thy secret to the bosom of a comrade."
The renegade remained silent for a few minutes; then, as if suddenly
adopting a fresh resolution--
"Caneri," he said, "oft has thine officious zeal, or weak curiosity,
fatigued my ears with repeated questions that are daggers to my soul. I
will now satisfy thy craving; yes, I will unravel the mystery that hangs
around my head. By this concession I may perhaps acquire the right to
brood over my wrongs and misfortunes undisturbed and unmolested in
future.
"Caneri," he continued, "all the calamity which is now the portion of
the man that stands before thee--all the struggles, the racking throes
that torture this seared breast, arise from one solitary cause--the
offspring of one crime, and of that crime the unhappy victim who suffers
by it is innocent. The rites of religion never blessed my mother's
bridal bed, and I was born a thing despised, looked down upon by the
proud ones of the land, pointed at by the urchins, and even taunted by
the beggar as he went his rounds. But nature, that made me a thing to be
contemned, gave me no feelings congenial to such a state. I was endowed
with sentiments more noble, and greater powers of mind than those who
affected to spurn me. I know not my father, nor was I ever anxious to
learn a name to me so full of misery, and which could claim no other
token from his child than a malediction. This much I learnt--that my
parent was a nobleman; but what unnatural cruelty could induce him to
abandon his offspring, I never was able to determine. I was brought up a
retainer in the house of the sire of my bitter foe, Don Lope Gomez
Arias, where I was subjected to indignities at which my proud nature
revolted, whilst the obscurity of my birth powerfully contributed to
exasperate those feelings already too much excited by repeated
contumelies and scorn. Wherever I turned my eyes I discovered a dreary
waste in the midst of society; for I was an outcast, and I felt no
sympathy with the uses of the world. Chance made me a wretch, and nature
unkindly gave me feelings and sentiments to heighten the misery to which
my existence was doomed. Alas! my dark and repulsive exterior gave an
additional motive to justify the dislike with which I was generally
beheld.
"Such a life," interrupted Caneri, "must have been insupportable."
"It might," nobly answered the renegade, "to a weak mind--not to mine,
for the very injustice of my fate gave me courage to support it. I rose
superior to my misfortunes, and nourished a sensation of mixed hatred
and contempt towards my kind: I assiduously nurtured sentiments
calculated to make me believe myself independent in the bosom of slavery
and degradation.--Yes, I had a beam of cheering hope, a wild and
romantic emulation, a noble ambition, to acquire by my own deeds, my
daring exertion, that which was denied me by the combined oppositions of
birth and station. My pretensions were supported by my pride, and spread
a solitary but brilliant light amidst the darkness with which my
existence was clouded. In these sentiments I grew, hated and abhorring,
despising and contemned. The springs of my heart, which would have
sympathised with human nature, seemed to have been dried up for ever. I
found myself incapable of any kindly feeling, and my whole being was
wrapped in that dismal and isolated gloom which, like the mephitic
vapour, tended to paralyze the exertions and blight the fair prospects
of life. Alas! I was mistaken; for, to my misfortune, I eventually
discovered that I was a man, subject to the weakness of human nature,
that the depths of my heart, which I had judged impenetrable to the
influence of the softer passions, were soon to be deeply stirred, and
that I was fated to experience those sentiments which I had proudly
imagined to be foreign to my nature.
"Amongst the numberless beings who conspired to render me
wretched--amongst the many whom I was forced to look upon more as
natural foes than fellow-creatures, there was one who first beheld me
with a genuine and heavenly feeling of compassion, and from that sweet
and pure emanation of sensibility soon sprung the most tender and
devoted attachment. This being, generous and kind, this solitary
exception to the overwhelming mass of hatred that encompassed me, for
whose dear sake alone I might forgive my parents for the miserable life
they bestowed upon me--this being was a woman--a woman, alas! for our
mutual woe! She was as abundant in personal attractions as she was rich
in mental beauty. She loved, aye! she devotedly loved the unhappy
Bermudo, the wretched outcast, from whom every one else recoiled. She
loved him, and she found in that dark form, in that being so degraded
and despised, a heart capable of feeling and estimating a genuine
passion. Yes, in this desolate wilderness of my heart, not all was then
barren, and the kindly feelings sowed by her hand took root and budded
forth; I fostered them, and they flourished as vigorously as if they had
been cast in a more generous mould. I loved her! Oh, Anselma! Five years
have passed since that dreadful moment, but yet the bloody scene is
glowing, burning in my memory. I see thy mangled form, thy beauteous
limbs broken, and thy long dishevelled hair clotted with gore. Anselma!
Anselma! I did not follow thee to thy untimely grave, for I had to plan
and accomplish the deed of vengeance.--I cannot weep: the sad fountains
of these eyes are long since dry, but my scorched heart still weeps with
tears of blood, when the scenes of thy youth, thy love, and thy horrid
fate crowd upon my agonized recollection."
The renegade could not proceed; his agitation became terrible, and all
the occurrences of his past life were busy in distorting those features
and adding to their natural ferocity. Caneri looked aghast, for his
frivolous soul could not easily comprehend the nature of an attachment
so fervent, so deeply rooted, as to produce the violent effects which he
now witnessed. But his wonder increased as he perceived that gust of
uncontroulable passion gradually subside and give place to a kinder
emotion than he thought congenial to the being that stood before him.
The renegade was again calm. A tear stood trembling in his eye, and
that pitying drop spoke of affections long subdued, but not entirely
extinct in the breast of him who had but few tears to bestow. Soon,
however, his glassy eyes were fixed, and as Bermudo raised mechanically
his long sinewy fingers to his burning forehead, his countenance became
the index of a mind engaged in scenes far away. It was a deep though
momentary abstraction, for as Caneri gazed in amazement, the renegade
awoke from his trance, and became aware of the notice which his emotion
had excited. He felt ashamed that a token of weakness should have
betrayed him before man, and with a strong exertion strove to smother
the commotion which swelled his breast. He dashed away the drop that
fain would soften the lurid expression of his eye. His pride succeeded
in the conflict: soon that lip recovered its sardonic curl, and his
features relapsing into their calm and gloomy ferocity, he then
proceeded--
"Gomez Arias, upon whom nature had lavished her choicest gifts, only as
the means of following with greater success his licentious
courses--Gomez Arias saw the beautiful Anselma. Her attractions and
innocence could not escape his observation, and he marked her out for
his prey. Curse the day his wily smile first lighted on the unfortunate
girl!"
"She did not then," interrupted Caneri, "fall into the snare of the
seducer?"
"No," firmly replied the renegade, "she did not; but the gentle creature
knew too well how boundless was the power of her persecutor, and
trembled to provoke its influence--not for her own sake, but for mine.
Our mutual inclination was no longer a secret; and my presumption in
crossing the will of my arrogant master, would have been attended with
inevitable ruin. Anselma, sensible of our dangerous position, carefully
endeavoured to avoid the threatened storm. It was all in vain; her tears
fell fast, and her prayers were uttered in all the fervour of desolate
grief; but the barbarian saw those tears unmoved, and heard her piteous
expostulations with the coldness of a villain. Nay, he felt exasperated
at the resistance with which his wishes were opposed by one whom his
pride naturally led him to consider as affording an easy conquest. He
had been accustomed, in his shameful career, to meet with little or no
opposition; he was base enough to doubt the very existence of female
virtue; and was it for a poor humble girl, born his dependant, an orphan
from her childhood, and clinging to no other protection than that which
could be afforded by such a thing as I, to contradict the vile opinion
which the proud patrician entertained?
"Caneri, I will no longer dwell on this subject. Gomez Arias at length
resolved to accomplish by a vile contrivance, what he could not obtain
by seductive persuasion. I was despatched on a trifling commission to
one of his estates, my presence being an obstacle to his designs; for
poor and despised as I was, Gomez Arias nevertheless looked upon me with
a feeling of dread. He could crush the reptile, but he feared the sting.
I was strong in my very weakness, for as I had but one solitary motive
to link me to life; that being removed, my oppressor felt aware my life
would then only serve as the price by which I was to purchase revenge.
"I was absent, when one of his miscreants administered some deleterious
beverage to the unsuspecting Anselma, the effects of which answered to
their utmost extent the wishes of the libertine. An irresistible
lethargy oppressed the senses and rendered powerless the limbs of the
helpless victim. In that state she was borne to the couch of her undoer,
and by a stratagem worthy of the monster by whom it was invented, Gomez
Arias triumphed over her passive unconscious form. Happy, happy if the
unnatural slumber in which Anselma was immersed, had subsided into the
sleep of death. But no, she awoke--she returned to life, only to curse
that life which was now covered with degradation. Alas! she had no one
to whom she could fly, and under whose fostering kindness she might hide
her shame; she had no refuge left--none but death, the last shelter of
virtuous woman betrayed. She spurned with indignant pride the glittering
offers of the miscreant who wrought her ruin. She recoiled with
abhorrence from his loathsome caresses; cursed in bitter agony his
unmanly deed, and brooded over her misfortune, until the loss of her
reason followed the profanation of her person."
Again the renegade stopt in his recital, as if unable to sustain the
painful recollection, and after a pause he continued:--
"Evening was falling as I returned from my distant mission. My heart
felt unusually heavy and desponding; as I was passing near a precipice
in these very mountains, my ear was struck with the hum of voices,
mingled with the discordant shrieks of birds of prey which issued from
the abyss below. Presently a flight of those ominous birds came
screaming on high, as if scared by some unwelcome intruders, and the hum
of voices was converted into a long, piercing, and promiscuous
lamentation. With as much activity as the perilous nature of that
precipice would permit, I hastened towards the spot, and soon perceived
the melancholy cause of the wailings that had arrested my course. Some
peasants were with difficulty dragging from that frightful abyss a
burthen, which, as well as I could distinguish from the distance,
appeared a human body. I approached nearer, and found that it was in
reality a human--a mangled corpse!--It was that of my Anselma!"
"Oh, horror!" exclaimed Caneri, in chilled amazement.
"It was Anselma," gloomily repeated Bermudo; "my love, my only happiness
in this accursed world. She had already been dead sometime. Her slender
garments were rent, her long tresses torn and stained with blood, and
her delicate limbs broken and mangled with the fall. Alas! her beautiful
features were now scarcely discernible; the raven had plucked at those
eyes that once beamed with affection, and the hungry vulture had
lacerated the pure heart, that hallowed shrine of innocence and love and
virtue. I did not weep, nor did I utter a single groan; no sign of
grief escaped me. No,--the springs of my heart were instantaneously
frozen, and with horrified stupor I gazed on the ghastly spectacle.
Suddenly my whole frame underwent a revolution. I felt a dreadful
pressure on my heart,--a ball of fire seemed rolling in my brain. It was
torture intense; the pangs of frenzied agony came over me, and for a
time I knew not what I did; but the tempest of passion gradually
subsided, and my soul became fixed in that settled and sombre mood,
which has been to me as a second nature since that dreadful event.
"The sad remains of the lovely Anselma were consigned to the kindred
earth, and I hastened to learn the cause of the appalling fate, which my
boding heart already but too faithfully foretold. I hurried to the
mansion of Gomez Arias; the truth was soon revealed, but I felt no
surprise--I was prepared for the dire intelligence. I reproached Gomez
Arias in the most bitter and provoking terms; he answered me with the
laugh of contempt. I laid my hand on my sword--he smote me on the face.
Furiously I drew the mortal weapon, but was soon overpowered and
disarmed by the numerous attendants of my foe. I applied for
redress--for justice. I denounced my enemy as the murderer of Anselma.
It was all in vain; justice affected to be deaf to my earnest and
reiterated appeal. Alas! what redress could I obtain against so powerful
an enemy? His constant good fortune had raised him in the estimation of
the court; he was brave, victorious in various encounters against the
Moors in the war of Granada. His services were rewarded; his crimes
overlooked; and I with the sting of shame and revenge and disappointment
rankling in my heart, determined to extort with my own hands that
redress which the justice of my country had denied me. I made a world to
myself in the solitude of my now desolate feelings. Severed from every
pursuit, a stranger to every natural tie, I resolved to dedicate all the
resources of my soul to the prosecution of the most exemplary revenge.
Ever since that time, I have, under the cover of various disguises,
hovered about his path, and I had once an opportunity of partly
satiating my thirst of revenge; but I let it pass, because the draught
would not half satisfy my fevered longing for deeper retribution. It was
in the embrace of a deep slumber that I once saw Gomez Arias, and I
hovered over his devoted head with the pleasure of the vulture that sees
beneath him its defenceless prey."
"And why didst thou not slay him?" inquired Caneri.
"No!" replied the renegade, "I would not kill him then, for that were no
revenge; his soul would flee from this world without the knowledge that
it was _I_--it was Bermudo that inflicted the wound. I did not kill him;
I reserved his hated life for more exquisite tortures--a more appalling
fate, with all the harrowing attendants of remorse and despair."
"And what probability was there afterwards," demanded the Moor, "of
prosecuting your intentions with success?"
"That," returned the renegade, "was the constant object of my
meditation; but alas! the whole study of my existence is now rendered
useless by the unexpected death of my enemy. However, I joined your
cause from hatred to the injustice of my countrymen. That hatred still
burns, and I will yet find means for vengeance in the detested blood of
Christians. Moor," he then added, with sternness, "I am sunk low, low in
the depths of crime, and this is thy best security for my constancy to
the desperate course I have adopted. My life is solitary and
independent, reckless of all results. Lead then to the combat, and where
slaughter stains the way, and where shrieks and groans encumber the air,
where death is busiest, there! thou mayest exultingly cry, there is the
renegade!"
As Alagraf delivered these words, he suddenly withdrew, leaving the Moor
plunged in astonishment. Caneri, however, was soon aroused from his
train of reflection by a consciousness of the importance of his station.
He prudently judged that too much of his valuable time had already been
devoted to a matter of individual interest. He started therefore from
his couch, summoned his various officers, and inquired with minute
accuracy into the state of every thing in the palace. Satisfactory
answers were returned, and the chief received the communications with a
demeanor appropriately grave and dignified. He next paraded the town
with a display of importance that might well have amused his followers,
if indeed they had been capable of feeling anything but concern in their
destitute situation.
Again Caneri returned to his dwelling, and a discussion was entered into
with respect to the several articles that composed his dress: his faded
turban was retrimmed; his couch arranged with the greatest care, and
odoriferous shrubs burnt in the apartment which he honoured with his
presence. The duties of the day having been happily completed, the chief
resigned himself to his habitual indolence with all the complacency of
one who considers himself by situation entitled to the contribution of
every one towards his comfort and luxury.
At the close of evening, however, his repose was disturbed by a
messenger who arrived from El Feri de Benastepar, announcing that the
redoubtable Don Alonso de Aguilar was rapidly advancing, and that they
should shortly be obliged to join in combat. He implored Caneri to be
ready for any disaster that might occur, and to keep his men prepared
for all contingencies. This intelligence, as it may be well conceived,
threw the Moor into some degree of agitation, and being rather late, he
resolved to call into requisition the multifarious powers he possessed
of serving his country. He speedily summoned a cabinet council, whose
opinions he would condescend to hear, and whose understandings he
graciously intended to enlighten. He pompously reclined himself on the
cushions, and assembling his courtly retinue, commenced his harangue
respecting the plans necessary to be adopted under existing
circumstances. His councillors, however, appeared in a very sorry
plight to give advice: they looked at each other with woe-begone
countenances, and their sleepy eyes seemed to concur in one opinion,
though they did not actually venture to give it utterance, that the most
rational course to pursue, after the fatigues of the day, was to indulge
nature with a few hours of refreshing repose. Indeed the judicious and
salutary tendency of this measure appeared to meet with such unanimous
assent, that after sitting half an hour, both the president and the
sapient members of the council very leisurely fell asleep, and thereby
testified their opinion, like sensible men, as to the most rational way
of terminating a council of state.
The renegade, disturbed in the meditations into which he had fallen
during the empty oration of Caneri, by the sonorous and unequivocal
signs of slumber evinced by his colleagues, saw with surprise the
conclusion to which they had unanimously arrived, and casting a look of
contempt on the sleeping councillors, retired to his quarters.