“Pairsonally,” said Mr. Sandy McTosh, professional at Ballyrot—the word
“personally” being a waggle with which every pro preludes a shot at the
King’s English—“pairsonally, I punch the ba’, nae sweep it. I dinna use a
besom in gowf, though ’tis useful in curling.” Pressed for an analysis of
his perfect stroke, “Oh, ay,” said Mr. McTosh, and obligingly took up a
driver. “I tak’ the club in ma hands, and raise it so; and then”—his face
fairly radiated intelligence—“I gie the ba’ a guid skelpin’. Ay.” Nothing
could be more transparent; and by adopting the Ballyrot style we expect
to add at least a few more strokes to our score.
* * * * *
We were discussing the golf stream, and Leopat was reminded of a
fisherman acquaintance, Bill Rice, who having recently begun golf,
fancied that everybody was as interested as he. Seeing Dick Lang, another
fisherman, go by, he called out: “I got six in bogey to-day.” “You’re a
liar,” replied Dick. “There ain’t no such stream in the hull state.”
* * * * *
A medical adviser suggests chair-swinging for men who cannot golf. It
has the disadvantage that it cannot be practised in the open, without
attracting the attention of the idle curious. On the other hand, it
is not an expensive sport—a kitchen chair will last for years—and it
is almost as interesting as indoor golf. Chair-swinging might also be
recommended to those whose scores run over 100.
* * * * *
“The Essence of the Matter,” holds up as an exposition of the soundest
technique we have encountered. Technique resides chiefly in the fingers,
in golf as in piano playing. Its first use, and its last, is to enable
the player to produce any desired effect with a minimum of effort. One
man, without exertion, will drive a ball fifty yards farther than another
man who delivers what seems to be a terrific blow. Mr. Percy Grainger
will sail through a Tchaikowsky concerto at the conventional tempo, and
yet, so impeccably smooth is his performance, he seems to be playing it
much faster than you have ever heard it played before. Speed is necessary
in golf; in piano playing an impression of speed suffices.