as a coniecture for that hee was in my companie the night before, I
must conspire with him to rob you. Do but cōsider sir I pray you,
what likelihood of truth this beareth: would any one be so mad as
once to harme, or go about to hurt the possessions that in right is
to no one so much as himselfe? Woulde I euer appeare so vngracious
as to confederate with a stranger, to no benefit but of himselfe,
to rob and spoile my father? Alas, what coulde there be so aduerse
vnto Nature, as should enforce in me so vnkinde a condition? You must
needes Sir (by your fauour) something consider, what one thing or
more might bee in mee occasioning vnto the same, it must either bee
some vehement necessitie (which neuer hapened) constraining mee, some
great extremity (which you know to bee contrary) wherewith by keeping
mee too short of expence or maintenance you might enforce me, a kinde
of wanton prodigality, whereof no worlde can accuse me, ill counsell
whereunto so far forth I neuer could yeelde me, or a most detestable
and vile disposition graffed in my selfe, which no man euer found in
me. These causes as I thinke are the most likest of all others inducing
to those opinions, which howe farre they or any of them haue estranged
my condition, let but the verie consciences of my vtmost aduersaries
indifferently trie: me what if hee were in my company, is not that a
thing that without any suspition at all, might easliest of al others
happen vnto me? I am not weeting of mens thoughts, neither can I
coniecture of any other but their outward demeanors: if he were il,
weigh I pray you, the fault proceedeth not from me. Sory I am that any
such conceipt by any one of mine should so much offend you.
[Sidenote: _Epilogus._]
[Sidenote: _Dichologia._]
These things then falling out in such sort as they be, it may please
you sir, henceforth to allowe of this my iust Apology, and by the
selfe same _nature_, _piety_, and _louing condition_, wherewith in all
duty and obedience I seeme firmely charged vnto you, in like sort to
recognize and receiue mee, who notwithstanding I confesse many waies
heretofore, to haue erred, yet heerein in no one point indifferent rest
I rightlie to be challenged. The expectation whereof hath made mee
presume to the recommendation of these letters, attending therwithal
the newes of your good conceipt, and happy returne of this bearer.
From, &c. this, &c.
=To this defence, we will for the more variety suppose a reply to
be made by the Father, the reasons whereof shall yet also consist
in the selfe same state |absolute|, yeelding thereby a more ample
demonstration of the diuersitie of constructions incident to those
places, and how by the forcible applications of their special
intendmentes, they are, or may be caried to diuers seuerall purposes.
Inasmuch, as like to their present vse in this defence they haue beene
suggested for confirmation and to the clearing of the sonnes faultines,
herein also by the same conueiance they shal be maintained by the
confutation of al his former allegations, the matter whereof, in sort
following may be considered.=
_A replie of the father confuting the allegations of the sonne,
and maintaining the causes of the former
inuectiue alleadged._
[Sidenote: _Exordium._]
[Sidenote: _Metaphora_]
Your wiles (Sirra) and sophisticall expositions of your owne
misdemeanours, with sundrie confirmations therein vsed, whereby to
driue me from the verie suppose of that whereunto no one thing hath
giuen more euident testimony, then the course and progression of your
whole life, are either too newlie forged, to reape at my hands any
sound credite, or the metall so light, as carieth in the weight thereof
verie small substance. in my conceipt to be beleeued.
[Sidenote: _Insultatiō._]
[Sidenote: _Allegoria._]
Well haue you applied your wits (no doubt) and to especiall good
purpose haue your studies bin framed, that can so cunninglie cōment as
you haue done vpon so bad a text, but withdraw your measure betimes,
and cease this ouerweening, least by continuing your selfe in a fools
paradice, and where al things are naught, supposing nothing to be
amisse, you do (as by your deserts you haue sundry times endeuored
to lose a father) so in the end frame a desperate meane to lose your
selfe, when you may neuer be recouered.
[Sidenote: _Allegoria._]
[Sidenote: _Parison._]
[Sidenote: _Synathrismus._]
[Sidenote: _Synonymia._]
[Sidenote: _Erotema._]
[Sidenote: _Orismus._]
[Sidenote: _Metonoia._]
The shame you haue of your mischiefe done, and guiltinesse of your
owne conscience to come in my sight, togither with a knowne mislike
that you haue receiued from mee, either to see or heare from you: you
vse as a cloake, to couer the long pretext you haue made in defence
of your euils, you haue well shewed that paper beareth no other
hue but his owne, and the letters you imprint therupon, carrie but
their proper colour. Though they falsifie a thousande actions, and
bolster vp inumerable lies, it is not seene in their chaunge, but in
a shamefast browe of him that were not past shame, the least of all
these would quickelie bee deciphered. Is it not inough you haue done
badlie touching your selfe, vnkindlie demeaned your selfe towardes your
fathers friendes, vnthriftily consumed your time in some one or other
badde companie, run at randon euerie way to your parents and your owne
infamie, but that also in your behauiours, you will not onelie dare
to denie it, but which is woorse, in your writing seeke to defende
it. It fitteth not that I shoulde vse reasoning, neither meane I to
contend with your cautels, but for fashions sake, or (if so you list)
to beate that to your remembrance, whereof hitherto you abandon the
notice, let me aske you this one question. In all your smooth passage
and flourish made of your companie, their reputation, your ciuilitie,
small play, my allowance, and your construction vpon the same, dooth
it not drawe to this ende, that it was in an Inne, in a place filled
with all vnthriftinesse, in a dicing Chamber, in a spectacle for all
companies? Doth not the verie deliuerance of your owne fact condemne
you, dooth not the verie sequell of his entrance, looking on, and
plaie (whome you tearme to bee a base fellowe) impugne you? Dooth not
your after quarrell and mischiefe done oppose it selfe agaynst you?
What if all the information deliuered vnto mee in particular were not
true? Is not the substaunce true? _Nature_ coueting recreation, is in
him that will bee modestlie gouerned, to be measured as well by time
and place, as by entertainment of companies, _Custome_ carrying with
it selfe anie secrete insimulation of euill, is not to bee followed;
_ciuilitie_ is not _ciuilitie_, when it shall bee repugnant to a right
gouerned modestie: can that be agreeing to _Law_, which in effect is
discordant from anie good order of law? Induce you my allowance, as a
confirmed _sentence_ to your vaine opinions? Why, sirra, frequented I
euer anie such play in Innes? Nay rather did I not euer mislike it,
alwaies spake against it, and in euerie action condemne it? Stood not
my conceit that being in the best part it might be, though young men
stoode neuer so much on their light gaming, and little hinderance, it
was rather an allurements and inurement to vnthriftines then a pastime
of any gentlenes, when it was vsed in a Gentlemans house, which is by
sundrie defences more tollerable, and not in an Inne, the verie publike
intertainer of all kinds of societies.
[Sidenote: _Synathrismus._]
At your departing from mee, your iourney laie to S. you were to
trauaile to my friendes house. In respect of the time, my reputation,
your beeing, the place, and the companie, I furnished you with money,
knowing that there, and with such persons, and in their seuerall
pleasures you were to bee conformed to companies: Hereof gaue I euer
allowance, the like whereof haue I deemed meetest for the expence and
societie of anie Gentleman, thither shoulde you haue trauelled, so in
the honest distribution of that allowed for your maintenaunce, you had
both auoyded the present mischiefe, alreadie incurred, and preuented
occasions, wherby manie times they are aduentured.
[Sidenote: _Sententia._]
[Sidenote: _Antithesis._]
[Sidenote: _Merismus._]
It is not inough, not to doe euill, but we ought also to resist the
occasions of euill, what recreation I pray you, after trauell is more
natural then rest? Who more subiect to casualties, then they that
hazarde themselues to most companies? What _custome_ better, then
to vse our Inne for repose, the onelie and sole intent whereunto it
was prepared? Wherein is _ciuilitie_ more commended then in honest
gouernment? What more lawfull for any man then laudablie to beare
himselfe? Your demeanour is tyed to your own behauiour, and not to
anothers inclinations, your actions well disposed, are not offensiue to
what by others pleasures to bee continued: had you vsed the place as it
serued for, who would haue beene discontented? Once it appeareth that
euill is come of it, brawlings arise, men are hurt, slanders ensue, and
infamy doth guerdon it.
[Sidenote: _Peroratiō._]
[Sidenote: _Sententia._]
Touching the latter part of your Letter I say little, till I haue
more deliberatelie of the circumstaunce considered. Some, hoping
more of that you will bee, then I dare intende what you maie bee,
haue manie wayes in this action perswaded mee. Where much hath beene
ouerpassed, it is reason that something at length do beare shew to
haue well deserued. Simplicitie in well doing, is farre more pleasing
then a curious definition of well dooing. When I finde proofe of your
amendement, I shall then wish to see you. Meane while, it shall behooue
you to enter into your selfe, and more circumspectly to consider what
most fittest beseemeth you, wherewith at this present my directions
shall conclude. R. this, &c.
_An example of another Epistle Inuectiue, pleasantly written against
the humours and conditions of a vaineglorious person._
[Sidenote: _Exordium._]
[Sidenote: _Epanodis._]
[Sidenote: _Liptote._]
Were the peeuishnes of my conceits correspondent to those vaineglorious
humours of yours, I could before and sithence your exemplified
discourse committed to my view, haue vpon occasion sufficient, deuised
how and wherewith to haue preuented or answered your accustomed cauils.
The first whereof not hauing performed, so could I willinglie also haue
left the latter vndone by determined speech to haue beene accomplished,
were it not that hauing prooued the arrogancie to bee in you, wherewith
vniustly you charge me, I might by my ouerlong silence giue head to
your follies, and whilest by an outragious well liking of your selfe
you become ignorant of your owne mischiefs, you might vse a scope not
necessarie therby more farther to abuse my sufferance, as heretofore
you haue done a great many others by their common negligence.
[Sidenote: _Ironia._]
For auoyding whereof, I haue (as my leisure would induce mee) thought
good to giue place to mine owne determination, & to serue your humour
so farre forth as to answere your letter, not being stung, as you
fondlie and vainlie imagine, with the venome thereof, nor galled with
the opposed surmises of your munificence, wealth, credite, reputation,
and I know not what besides, all which I do suppose either to be so
skant, as no man can substantiallie discerne them, or otherwise that
you would neuer so often as you do, without a surfeiting follie enduour
to obtrude them.
[Sidenote: _Omiosis._]
[Sidenote: _Sarcasmus._]
The policies you vse with mee are nothing straunge, which because
they are nowe growne so stale, bee euerie waie therefore the lesse
currant. Howe like vnto a shamelesse woman, or some other base
conceyted creature, you appeare in your wryting, let but the matter
of your Letter testifie, if because you haue both manlie shape and
countenaunce, you will admitte neither of these similitudes, you must
bee either a childe, or a foole, and so weare a bable, or take a horne
booke at your girdle, and get you to schoole againe.
[Sidenote: _Anthypophora._]
[Sidenote: _Schesis onomatō._]
[Sidenote: _Ironia._]
[Sidenote: _Insultatio._]
[Sidenote: _Meiosis._]
[Sidenote: _Merismus._]
[Sidenote: _Antiphrasis._]
[Sidenote: _Prosonomasia._]
[Sidenote: _Meiosis._]
[Sidenote: _Charientismus._]
[Sidenote: _Epitropis._]
[Sidenote: _Asteismus._]
You complaine that I haue done you iniurie, if I haue, why then doe you
not content your selfe to pursue the reuengement thereof, either with
manlike or lawfull extremitie? Whie take you for a refuge these cankred
foolish vpbraidings, womanish encountrings, vnseemlie lyings, and
childish threatnings. If we folow the rule you begin, we must straight
waies bee children, and then I must wrangle why you stole away _Toms_
bread and butter, and you must threaten if I tell of that, you will
then complaine of mee for eating vp the firmentie that was kept for the
childs breakefast, or how I drunke vp my grandams ale and toste, or
lick bread in the dripping panne, or some such like weightie causes. A
soueraigne capacitie no doubt. Is this manner of dealing deriued I pray
you from your Gentilitie, or had you it by education, or haue you won
it with your wealth, or is it incident to your reputation? Bee these
your incounters? A braue canuisado, indeede, when to deface an honest
minde, you haue shot out all the venome of twentie yeares acquaintance
that you haue stuffed togethers, and all not woorth a butterflie, then
to tell to those that accompanie you, howe brauelie you haue touched
mee, howe with your learned enditing to so manie read and shewed, you
haue quencht mee, howe manie wayes behinde my backe, if you were so ill
disposed you could kill mee, and for default of other matter forsooth,
howe they laughed at mee to whome I haue spoke somewhat against you,
and howe master B. found _Socrates_ in my Letter, and sent to seeke out
your well reputed sconce to expound it, not without the credit of your
owne worshipfoltie to be admitted to the sight hereof: If I should for
carrying this insight, not say you were a great Clearke, your grauitie
I knowe would condemne mee, and it would bee thought in your deeper
studies, that my senses did faile me. But alas sir, what is it that I
woulde denie you? It is not I, well I wot that haue abilitie, or if I
had, woulde presume so far as to impugne you, what wold you more sir?
I am come to your bow, and acknowledge your credit, your worshipful
acquaintance, and all else you haue brought me to. But yet sir, after
all these sporting deuises, hee is but a Nidcote, and that wise man can
tell you, that will glory so much in such fruitles follies.
[Sidenote: _Metonoia._]
[Sidenote: _Anthypophora._]
[Sidenote: _Sarcasmus._]
But say I tis your vaine glory? No, not so, it is but a Thrasonicall
exercise. There bee that affirme Gentilitie hath no deriuation, where
is neither good nature, honesty, nor friendly condition. But what is
that to you? A man may sit vnder a stall with credit, but to be laid on
a stal, smelleth somwhat of beggership. Go to, I warrant him he is a
proud fellow, and little of good maner knoweth, that so rudely wil dare
to speake of your maistership.
[Sidenote: _Apostrophe._]
[Sidenote: _Charientismus._]
Yet nowe we be in, let vs goe to it by the weeke. In odde sooth I must
tel you plainly, your occupations haue beene too manifolde to thriue by
your honesty. But perchance the terme is quaint, and you will saie this
matter of honesty is besides your profession? Alacke sir, though it be,
you must pardon the writer, it was but a mistake in his penning, by ill
noting your pedegree.
[Sidenote: _Irmus._]
[Sidenote: _Asteismus._]
Tush pedegree, pedegree, here is nothing with you in hande but twitting
with pedegree. Cockes fish, these proude fellowes that haue nothing
to liue vpō to see how malapert they be, if they had ability to take
to as you haue, & wherwithal to beare vp their heads in yᵉ world as
you do, such credit with honorable & worshipfull, who haue multiplied
your praises for noted good parts, apparantly seen to be in you, what
would then become of their doings? Very true sir, but will not this be
sufficient to giue scope to the name of a gentleman? Faith sir, to be
plaine with you, tis but as the wiser sort do hold opinion.
[Sidenote: _Orismus._]
[Sidenote: _Omoiteleton._]
[Sidenote: _Brachiologa._]
For in our beliefe it is saide, that a great deale better shewe doth
it make to giue but one certaine & true demonstration of a gentleman,
then to yeeld twenty brauados, and neuer come neare the true meaning
of them, railing, lying, backbiting, slaundering, facing, vaunting,
contemning, cogging, menacing, vpbraiding, taunting, and proudlie
defacing other mens actions, desertes, qualities, behauiours, and
vertues, are in right reckoning, in verie trueth but slender partes of
a Gentleman.
[Sidenote: _Paramologia._]
[Sidenote: _Asyndeton._]
[Sidenote: _Meiosis._]
[Sidenote: _Allegoria._]
[Sidenote: _Omiosis._]
[Sidenote: _Apostrophe._]
[Sidenote: _Synonymia._]
[Sidenote: _Epitheton._]
[Sidenote: _Epizeuxis._]
You wil say, I am too far bewitched to tell you of these things, you
will raile at me, you will storme at me, you will not beleeue me: you
will alleadge I am too different herein from all other opinions, your
acquaintance doe like of you, praise you, and magnifie you, very true
indeede, but they are but a fewe, and such also as doe it, haue intent
but to laugh at you, you are but the anuile whereout they hammer their
pastimes, they vse you but as an instrument to bee pliable to their
turnes. In this as to _Will Sommers_, they yeelde to your rages, they
sooth vp your passions, and cokes vp your humors. But vnto me, to whom
such fashions are loathsome, and in whose cares those base purposes and
surfetting demeanors of yours are most ridiculous and hateful, they are
too intolerable.
[Sidenote: _Paradigma._]
[Sidenote: _Periphrasis._]
The Peacoke when hee spreadeth his tayle, is glorious of his beautie,
but stooping downe to his feete, his feathers fall with the selfe sight
immediately. Woulde you but abase your eyes vnto the lower part of your
rising, you might then recognize your original, and seeing the simple
obiect whereout your prosperity hath beene deriued, confesse that tenne
such glorious plumes as you studie to haue aduanced, without they were
better qualified coulde scarse make a shewe beseeming the lowest part
of all that belongeth to a Gentleman.
[Sidenote: _Epanodis._]
[Sidenote: _Hysterō proteron._]
[Sidenote: _Allegoria._]
For my part it is not the shew you beare, but the pride wherewith you
are caried that despiteth me, the qualities you haue, and not the
malice you vtter, that discontenteth me: whether your opinion stand
good or bad to me, it is not that I accompt of, as beeing such a one
whose censure to my knowledge, neuer stoode in that degree to bee
reckoned of. Onely doubting least ouerswolne with your humours, you
should consume in your follies I haue written that I haue done, leauing
the rest to your own correction, if at least you haue any wit at al
whereby to amend them.
_An example of an other Epistle inuectiue, written in
cause of great desert against two
seueral parties._
[Sidenote: _Exordium._]
I am sorie it falleth vnto my lot among matters more serious, that I
must at this present incomber my pen, and enforce my labours, about so
needlesse a purpose, as to decipher a knaue whome the worlde knoweth
alreadie by his colours, and a companion of his that will shortly
giue proofe of his facultie by his far spreading titles. And yet the
time hath bin when by their shadowes I could set them both to viewe,
and hauing cunningly deciphered them, could laugh at the portraiture,
imagining that there were more heades to carpe at their villanies then
honest meaning to excuse their treacheries.
[Sidenote: _Sententia._]
It was not amisse said amongst the wise, that there cā be no friendship
but amongst the good, and yet is society so common amongst men, that
there is not the arrantest varlet in the world but he will find a
companion, & why? because therein is a likelihood, which although it
cannot turne to friendship, yet growing _ex similitudine morum_, I
find no reason but that a coniunction may be of knaues as well as a
separation of honest men sometimes.
[Sidenote: _Paralepsis._]
Leauing your yokefellowe M. whome I esteeme so base a fellow as
comming out of the very Cell it selfe of all villanies, smelleth so
strongly of the stench thereof, that he is not worthy to come within
a mile of my paper, nor neare by a thousande Yeardes vnto the worst
parte of my studie, I will speake two or three words vnto you maister
F. which are his aduocate, and as it seemeth his second selfe, nay
rather incorporated in his bowels, and become maklenezed, yea rather
M. himselfe, for he hath taught you to handle his cause so cunninglie,
that he neede not ioine with you to lie for himselfe, for you will lie
for both, and surelie (not thinking you haue it by nature, _absit_)
I iudge it rather yᵉ infection of him who hath so transmuted your
disposition, that to boast, face, scold, and lie, and that without
shame, credite, or honesty, you surpasse as I heare, why M. himself (of
whom you are thought but the shadowe) cannot go beyond you. You haue
deliuered forth in publique speaches, that I and my companions abused
your Client with a false Lease, that we led him by degrees into a
deceiptful marriage, that I wil come with my hat in mine hand to craue
your Clients fauor, that you know me well, and thereupon demaunded
whether I was not once master L. his man, and being answered yea, you
paused, and then said, belike you knew me then.
[Sidenote: _Sarcasmus._]
Remembring that you are become a M. (whom alwaies I note for a shameles
liyng knaue) I wonder the lesse at your impudencie, marie if you were
an honest Gentleman, that did rather stande vppon your credit, thē vpon
such base respects to get money, by bolstering whatsoeuer villanies you
care not, I would then saie, _tota erras via_. But not shewing you such
fauour, I must needes tell you in shorte conclusion (You lie.) And so
much the rather because in the deliuerie thereof you make not a matter
of information of it, but rather as it seemeth a thing of your owne
knowledge.
[Sidenote: _Charientismus._]
[Sidenote: _Allegoria._]
And because the lie seemeth rather a word of course, then commonly of
substance, without proofe added to manifest the certaintie, I further
affirme that I will bring halfe a score, honester knowne then either
you or your Client, to whome he hath confessed the contrarie himselfe,
and made knowne the same most amplie vnto their owne vnderstanding,
who by the iustifying thereof, will proue him a shamelesse lying knaue
in his slaunders, and you a prating foolish dolt in the rash deliuery
of the same vpon so sleight a grounde, to defame an honest man of
more accompt then your selfe, and that without occasion. And because
you take vpon you to know me so well, and are yet of opinion that I
wil stoop to your Client, I must tel you therein your wisdom greatly
mistaketh both my nature and condition, for that I can neuer bee so
disparaged in conceipt, but that I coulde alwaies find an Asse by his
braying, and scorne a rascall though he were neuer so full of vaunting.
My dwelling with Mayster L. continued euermore with reputation and
credite sufficient euen to this present daie, I desire to be informed
without pausing, what you canne say to impugne the same, and albeit I
knowe a slaunderous mouth neuer wanteth whereof to gather, yet taking
mee at that present state, you shall finde mee such in trueth as all
your malice shall neuer bee able to disgrace me.
[Sidenote: _Asteismus._]
[Sidenote: _Emphasis._]
[Sidenote: _Epitheton._]