Chapter 33

That very night, I looked in at the little shop beneath us and met

Riggs. It was no small blessing, just as I was entering upon dark

and unknown ways of life, to meet this hoary headed man with all his

lanterns. He would sell you anchors and fathoms of chain and rope enough

to hang you to the moon but his 'lights' were the great attraction of

Riggs's. He had every kind of lantern that had ever swung on land or

sea. After dark, when light was streaming out of its open door and broad

window Riggs's looked like the side of an old lantern itself. It was

a door, low and wide, for a time when men had big round bellies and

nothing to do but fill them and heads not too far above their business.

It was a window gone blind with dust and cobwebs so it resembled the dim

eye of age. If the door were closed its big brass knocker and massive

iron latch invited the passer. An old ship's anchor and a coil of

chain lay beside it. Blocks and heavy bolts, steering wheels, old brass

compasses, coils of rope and rusty chain lay on the floor and benches,

inside the shop. There were rows of lanterns, hanging on the bare beams.

And there was Riggs. He sat by a dusty desk and gave orders in a sleepy,

drawling tone to the lad who served him. An old Dutch lantern, its light

softened with green glass, sent a silver bean across the gloomy upper

air of the shop that evening. Riggs held an old un lantern with little

streams of light bursting through its perforated walls. He was blind.

One would know it at a glance. Blindness is so easy to be seen. Riggs

was showing it to a stranger.

'Turn down the lights,' he said and the boy got his step-ladder and

obeyed him.

Then he held it aloft in the dusk and the little lantern was like a

castle tower with many windows lighted, and, when he set it down, there

was a golden sprinkle on the floor as if something had plashed into a

magic pool of light there in the darkness.

Riggs lifted the lantern, presently, and stood swinging it in his hand.

Then its rays were sown upon the darkness falling silently into every

nook and corner of the gloomy shop and breaking into flowing dapples on

the wall.

'See how quick it is!' said he as the rays flashed with the speed of

lightning. 'That is the only traveller from Heaven that travels fast

enough to ever get to earth.

Then came the words that had a mighty fitness for his tongue.

'Hail, holy light! Offspring of Heaven first born.

His voice rose and fell, riding the mighty rhythm of inspired song. As

he stood swinging the lantern, then, he reminded me of a chanting priest

behind the censer. In a moment he sat down, and, holding the lantern

between his knees, opened its door and felt the candle. Then as the

light streamed out upon his hands, he rubbed them a time, silently, as

if washing them in the bright flood.

'One dollar for this little box of daylight,' he said.

'Blind?' said the stranger as he paid him the money.

'No,' said Riggs, 'only dreaming as you are.

I wondered what he meant by the words 'dreaming as you are.

'Went to bed on my way home to marry,' he continued, stroking his long

white beard, 'and saw the lights go out an' went asleep and it hasn't

come morning yet--that's what I believe. I went into a dream. Think I'm

here in a shop talking but I'm really in my bunk on the good ship Arid

coming home. Dreamed everything since then--everything a man could think

of. Dreamed I came home and found Annie dead, dreamed of blindness, of

old age, of poverty, of eating and drinking and sleeping and of many

people who pass like dim shadows and speak to me--you are one of them.

And sometimes I forget I am dreaming and am miserable, and then I

remember and am happy. I know when the morning comes I shall wake and

laugh at all these phantoms. And I shall pack my things and go up on

deck, for we shall be in the harbour probably--ay! maybe Annie and

mother will be waving their hands on the dock!

The old face had a merry smile as he spoke of the morning and all it had

for him.

'Seems as if it had lasted a thousand years,' he continued, yawning and

rubbing his eyes. 'But I've dreamed the like before, and, my God! how

glad I felt when I woke in the morning.

It gave me an odd feeling--this remarkable theory of the old man. I

thought then it would be better for most of us if we could think all our

misery a dream and have his faith in the morning--that it would bring

back the things we have lost. I had come to buy a lock for my door, but

I forgot my errand and sat down by Riggs while the stranger went away

with his lantern.

'You see no reality in anything but happiness,' I said.

'It's all a means to that end,' he answered. 'It is good for me, this

dream. I shall be all the happier when I do wake, and I shall love Annie

all the better, I suppose.

'I wish I could take my bad luck as a dream and have faith only in good

things,' I said.

'All that is good shall abide,' said he, stroking his white beard, 'and

all evil shall vanish as the substance of a dream. In the end the only

realities are God and love and Heaven. To die is just like waking up in

the morning.

'But I know I'm awake,' I said.

'You think you are--that's a part of your dream. Sometimes I think I'm

awake--it all seems so real to me. But I have thought it out, and I am

the only man I meet that knows he is dreaming. When you'do wake, in the

morning, you may remember how you thought you came to a certain shop and

made some words with a man as to whether you were both dreaming, and you

will laugh and tell your friends about it. Hold on! I can feel the ship

lurching. I believe I am going to wake.

He sat a moment leaning back in his chair with closed eyes, and a

silence fell upon us in the which I could hear only the faint ticking of

a tall clock that lifted its face out of the gloom beyond me.

'You there?' he whispered presently.

'I am here,' I said.

'Odd!' he muttered. 'I know how it will be--I know how it has been

before. Generally come to some high place and a great fear seizes me. I

slip, I fall--fall--fall, and then I wake.

After a little silence I heard him snoring heavily. He was still leaning

back in his chair. I walked on tiptoe to the door where the boy stood

looking out.

'Crazy?' I whispered.

'Dunno,' said he, smiling.

I went to my room above and wrote my first tale, which was nothing more

or less than some brief account of what I had heard and seen down at

the little shop that evening. I mailed it next day to the Knickerbocker,

with stamps for return if unavailable.

Eben Holden: A Tale of the North Country · 第 33 / 45 章