It may seem paradoxical but, nevertheless, the Education of a child
ought to begin before its birth.
In sober truth, if a woman, a few weeks after conception, makes a
mental picture of the sex of the child she is going to bring forth into
the world, of the physical and moral qualities with which she desires
to see it endowed and if she will continue during the time of
gestation to impress on herself the same mental image, the child will
have the sex and qualities desired.
Spartan women only brought forth robust children, who grew to be
redoubtable warriors, because their strongest desire was to give such
heroes to their country; whilst, at Athens, mothers had intellectual
children whose mental qualities were a hundredfold greater than
their physical attributes.
The child thus engendered will be apt to accept readily good
suggestions which may be made to him and to transform them into
autosuggestion which later, will influence the course of his life. For
you must know that all our words, all our acts, are only the result of
autosuggestions caused, for the most part, by the suggestion of
example or speech.
How then should parents, and those entrusted with the education of
children avoid provoking bad autosuggestions and, on the other
hand, influence good autosuggestions?
In dealing with children, always be even-tempered and speak in a
gentle but firm tone. In this way they will become obedient without
ever having the slightest desire to resist authority.
Above all--above all, avoid harshness and brutality, for there the risk
is incurred of influencing an autosuggestion of cruelty accompanied
by hate.
Moreover, avoid carefully, in their presence, saying evil of anyone,
as too often happens, when, without any deliberate intention, the
absent nurse is picked to pieces in the drawing-room.
Inevitably this fatal example will be followed, and may produce
later a real catastrophe.
Awaken in them a desire to know the reason of things and a love of
Nature, and endeavor to interest them by giving all possible
explanations very clearly, in a cheerful, good-tempered tone. You
must answer their questions pleasantly, instead of checking them
with--"What a bother you are, do be quiet, you will learn that later."
Never on any account say to a child, "You are lazy and good for
nothing" because that gives birth in him to the very faults of which
you accuse him.
If a child is lazy and does his tasks badly, you should say to him one
day, even if it is not true, "There this time your work is much better
than it generally is. Well done". The child, flattered by the
unaccustomed commendation, will certainly work better the next
time, and, little by little, thanks to judicious encouragement, will
succeed in becoming a real worker.
At all costs avoid speaking of illness before children, as it will
certainly create in them bad autosuggestions. Teach them, on the
contrary, that health is the normal state of man, and that sickness is
an anomaly, a sort of backsliding which may be avoided by living in
a temperate, regular way.
Do not create defects in them by teaching them to fear this or that,
cold or heat, rain or wind, etc. Man is created to endure such
variations without injury and should do so without grumbling.
Do not make the child nervous by filling his mind with stories of
hob-goblins and were-wolves, for there is always the risk that
timidity contracted in childhood will persist later.
It is necessary that those who do not bring up then children
themselves should choose carefully those to whom they are
entrusted. To love them is not sufficient, they must have the
qualities you desire your children to possess.
Awaken in them the love of work and of study, making it easier by
explaining things carefully and in a pleasant fashion, and by
introducing in the explanation some anecdote which will make the
child eager for the following lesson.
Above all impress on them that Work is essential for man, and that
he who does not work in some fashion or another, is a worthless,
useless creature, and that all work produces in the man who engages
in it a healthy and profound satisfaction; whilst idleness, so longed
for and desired by some, produces weariness, neurasthenia, disgust
of life, and leads those who do not possess the means of satisfying
the passions created by idleness, to debauchery and even to crime.
Teach children to be always polite and kind to all, and particularly to
those whom the chance of birth has placed in a lower class than their
own, and also to respect age, and never to mock at the physical or
moral defects that age often produces.
Teach them to love all mankind, without distinction of caste. That
one must always be ready to succor those who are in need of help,
and that one must never be afraid of spending time and money for
those who are in need; in short, that they must think more of others
than of themselves.
In so doing an inner satisfaction is experienced that the egoist ever
seeks and never finds.
Develop in them self-confidence, and teach that, before embarking
upon any undertaking, it should be submitted to the control of
reason, thus avoiding acting impulsively, and, after having reasoned
the matter out, one should form a decision by which one abides,
unless, indeed, some fresh fact proves you may have been mistaken.
Teach them above all that every one must set out in life with a very
definite idea that he will succeed, and that, under the influence of
this idea he will inevitably succeed. Not indeed, that he should
quietly remain expecting events to happen, but because, impelled by
this idea, he will do what is necessary to make it come true.
He will know how to take advantage of opportunities, or even
perhaps of the single opportunity which may present itself, it may be
only a single thread or hair, whilst he who distrusts himself is a
Constant Guignard with whom nothing succeeds, because his efforts
are all directed to that end.
Such a one may indeed swim in an ocean of opportunities, provided
with heads of hair like Absalom himself, and he will be unable to
seize a single hair, and often determines himself the causes which
make him fail; whilst he, who has the idea of success in himself,
often gives birth, in an unconscious fashion, to the very
circumstances which produce that same success.
But above all, let parents and masters preach by example. A child is
extremely suggestive, let something turn up that he wishes to do,
and he does it.
As soon as children can speak, make them repeat morning and
evening, twenty times consecutively:
"Day by day, in all respects, I grow better", which will produce in
them an excellent physical, moral and healthy atmosphere.
If you make the following suggestion you will help the child
enormously to eliminate his faults, and to awaken in him the
corresponding desirable qualities.
Every night when the child is asleep, approach quietly, so as not to
awaken him, to within about three or four feet from his bed. Stand
there, murmuring in a low monotonous voice the thing or things you
wish him to do.
Finally, it is desirable that all teachers should, every morning, make
suggestions to their pupils, somewhat in the following fashion.
Telling them to shut their eyes, they should say: "Children, I expect
you always to be polite and kind to everyone, obedient to your
parents and teachers, when they give you an order, or tell you
anything; you will always listen to the order given or the fact told
without thinking it tiresome; you used to think it tiresome when you
were reminded of anything, but now you understand very well that it
is for your good that you are told things, and consequently, instead
of being cross with those who speak to you, you will now be
grateful to them.
"Moreover you will now love your work, whatever it may be; in
your lessons you will always enjoy those things you may have to
learn, especially whatever you may not till now have cared for.
"Moreover when the teacher is giving a lesson in class, you will now
devote all your attention, solely and entirely to what he says, instead
of attending to any silly things said or done by your companions,
and without doing or saying anything silly yourself.
"Under these conditions as you are all intelligent, for, children, you
are all intelligent, you will understand easily and remember easily
what you have learned. It will remain embedded in your memory,
ready to be at your service, and you will be able to make use of it as
soon as you need it.
"In the same way when you are working at your lessons alone, or at
home, when you are accomplishing a task or studying a lesson, you
will fix your attention solely on the work you are doing, and you
will always obtain good marks for your lessons."
This is the Counsel, which, if followed faithfully and truly from
henceforth, will produce a race endowed with the highest physical
and moral qualities.
Emile Coué.