"Since my last message (much mutilated by the Censor) events have
moved rapidly. Two of the mules have died of their injuries in
hospital; three others lie in a dangerous condition at Umwidi, four
miles away, where they fled for refuge from the wanton onslaught of
the Australian sheep. This sheep, it now transpires, was the personal
attendant of General Riddlecombe, Head of the Military Mission, a
circumstance which is not calculated to allay the local animosity
which the incident has aroused. The situation will require all the
tact that the British Government can command."
_Extract from the Special Crisis Column of "The Slime," April 11th:--_
"ANGLO-ARMENIAN RELATIONS.
GRAVE WARNING.
"In a telegram which we print in another column our Special
Correspondent in Armenia confirms to-day the serious fears to which we
gave expression in our issue of April 6th concerning the possibility
of a crisis in Anglo-Armenian relations. The incident of the Bobadig
mules is already bearing fruit, and we can no longer doubt that
popular feeling in the vilayet of Arimabug has been dangerously
inflamed by the obtuse procrastination of the British Government.
These unfortunate mules...."
"SCRATCHIPOL, _April 10th._
"Communications with Bobadig have broken down, but it is reported that
a mule was buried there on Sunday in circumstances of great popular
excitement. A large crowd followed the body to the cemetery and made
a demonstration after the ceremony outside the house of the local
veterinary surgeon, who is alleged to have treated the animal for
mumps instead of sheep-shock, with fatal results."
_From "The Slime," April 14th.--_
"GRAVE CRISIS.
ARMENIAN ANGER.
THE MURDERED MULES.
"As we feared, a serious crisis has arisen in Anglo-Armenian
relations. At Bobadig a third mule has perished and his interment was
made the occasion of a great popular demonstration against the policy
of Great Britain. In diplomatic circles no one is attempting to
conceal that the situation is extremely grave. The PRIME MINISTER has
returned to Downing Street from Le Touquet. Shortly after his arrival
the Armenian Minister drove up in a motor-cab and was closeted with
the PREMIER for a full ten minutes. After lunch, Lord Wurzel arrived
in his brougham. At tea-time the Minister of Mutton-Control dashed up
in a 24 'bus, followed rapidly by the Secretary of State for War on
his scooter. Mr. Burble wore an anxious look...."
_Extract from a leading article in "The Slime," April 16th:--_
"SPIT IT OUT.
"We trust it is not already too late to appeal to the Government to
extricate the Empire from the perilous position in which their wilful
stupidity has placed it. The news from Bobadig is exceedingly serious.
Another of the affronted mules has perished in circumstances of the
foulest indignity; it only remains for the other two to die for
the triumph of British statesmanship to be complete. These wretched
creatures are being slowly sacrificed for the foolish whim of a
British Prime Minister. No doubt remains that they have been subjected
to sheep-shock by the savage bites of the Australian animal. The
Government, blinded by its own infatuate folly and deaf to the storms
of popular indignation in this country, continues to treat them
for mumps.... By this test the Government will be judged at the
forthcoming election. They must realise that the time for trifling is
past. If the resources of the British Empire are unable at this date
to combat the menace of sheep-shock among the loyal mules of Bobadig,
then indeed.... At least we are entitled to ask for an explanation of
the presence of an infuriated sheep on the staff of a British General.
The PRIME MINISTER...."
_From "The Slime," April 17th.--_
"AT LAST.
The situation in Bobadig is easing rapidly. The Government has at last
carried out the instructions of _The Slime_, and we understand that a
Ministerial expert in sheep-shock has been sent to the assistance of
the surviving mules. But while we may congratulate ourselves on the
lifting of the clouds in that direction matters in West Ham give
ground for the gravest anxiety. The wood-lice of West Ham are
proverbially of an irritable nature, and the attitude of the
Government has been calculated for some time to inflame...."
_From "The Slime," April 19th.--_
"BOBADIG CRISIS OVER.