[Illustration: Second Baron.]
_House of Commons. Monday, July 6_.--Don't know what the House of
Lords would do without WEMYSS. How the House of Commons gets along
without ELCHO is another story. Of course we are not absolutely
ELCHO-less. Amurath has succeeded to Amurath, and there is still
an ELCHO in the Commons. Perhaps in time he may reach the towering
height of his illustrious father. He does very well as it is; made
exceedingly smart speech the other afternoon on adjournment over Derby
Day. We try to bear up; make the best of things; but in our secret
hearts confess that this century has seen but one Lord ELCHO, and now
he's Earl of WEMYSS.
Was in fine old style to-night. DORCHESTER brought on question of
Volunteers. They are going to Wimbledon on Saturday to be reviewed
by that veteran the German EMPEROR. DORCHESTER, in modest, convincing
speech, pointed out how unfair it was that, in addition to, in many
cases, losing a day's pay, in all cases incurring a day's hard work,
that Volunteers should be required to pay expenses of their trip to
Wimbledon. DORCHESTER left nothing unsaid; put the whole case in
brief speech. But WEMYSS not going to be left out. Interposed in
fine patronising manner; made acknowledgment of DORCHESTER's good
intention; but, suggesting an absolutely imaginary case, took
exception to the presentation of the Volunteers in the light of asking
for a day's pay. That, he said, would spoil the whole case.
No one had suggested anything of the kind. WEMYSS had brought this
nine-pin in with him as if it were one of a set of baccarat counters,
had set it up, and was now knocking it down. Noble Lords sat and
stared in polite amazement. CRANBROOK, in his impetuous way, jumped
up and raised point of order. WEMYSS put him aside with sweep of
sword-arm, and went on to end of his speech, which showed who was the
true friend of the Volunteer forces.
"Ah," said young LAMINGTON, second Baron, regarding with pleased
interest the flush of satisfaction that mantled WEMYSS' brow when
he resumed his seat, "this House would have been nothing only for us
fellows coming in from the Commons. It's new blood that does it. I'll
make them a speech myself some day."
_Business done_.--Quite a lot in the Commons.
_Tuesday_.--FERGUSSON says life at Foreign Office would be endurable
only for LABBY. The Sage has got the Triple Alliance on the brain;
spends his mornings in drafting questions there anent. That FERGUSSON
wouldn't mind so much, only it involves his spending _his_ afternoons
in drafting answers that shall look coherent, and yet say nothing.
Answers often so admirably suited to their purpose, that doubts arise
as to whether a firmer hand than FERGUSSON's has not traced them on
paper. "A dull man," was the phrase in which, years ago, JOHN BRIGHT
dismissed from consideration the statesman then known as Sir CHARLES
ADDERLY. To House of Commons FERGUSSON is a dull man, incapable, as it
seems, of framing these subtle answers that look as if they meant so
much, and yet say so little.
[Illustration: Sage of Queen Anne's Gate.]
Whoever be the author, it must be said that FERGUSSON contributes
to success of answers by his manner of reading them. So portentous
is his gravity, so like a stone wall his imperturbability, that the
Sage dashes himself up against it with much the same effect as if he
were attacking one of the buttresses of Westminster Hall. It is a
fortuitous concatenation of circumstances, most happy in its result,
that when in the House of Commons an answer is to be given which shall
convey no information, the MARKISS should dictate it, and FERGUSSON
recite it. If, in reply to the Sage's question to-night, as to the
understanding between this country and Italy with respect to the
_status quo_ in Mediterranean, FERGUSSON had stood up and recited the
multiplication table up to twelve times twelve, the remarks would have
been just as relevant and informing as those he read from the paper.
Moreover, the gravity of his aspect and the solemn inflection of
his voice, would have compelled Members to listen to the end of the
recitation with a sort of dim consciousness that they were really
being informed as to the details of an understanding come to between
Her majesty's Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs, and the
Governments of Germany and Italy.
_Business done._--Education Bill through Report Stage.
_Thursday._--House having disposed of Land Purchase Bill and Education
Bill, is able to devote portion of sitting to consideration of its own
personal affairs. MORTON brings on subject of Bar in Lobby of House of
Commons. Nothing to do with the Bar that LOCKWOOD, ASQUITH, and REID
adorn; merely a counter, at which they sell what JEMMY LOWTHER alludes
to, with a bewitching air of distant acquaintance, as "alcoholic
liquors." MORTON, whose great ambition in life is to make people
thoroughly comfortable, wants to close the Bar. SYDNEY HERBERT, making
a rare appearance as spokesman for the Government on the Treasury
Bench, pleads as a set-off against alleged evil example, the large
consumption of "lemon squash," which he explains to the House is
"a non-intoxicant." CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN sends thrill of apprehension
through listening Senate by inquiring whether the House of Commons is
licensed for the sale of intoxicating liquors?
No one every thought of that before. As far an anyone knows, place
isn't licensed; consequently, in very birthplace of legislation, the
law has for years been systematically defied. Worse this than what
happened at Temple the other day, when LORD CHANCELLOR and a score
of principal Members of Bar of England narrowly escaped indictment
for playing a drama in an unlicensed hall. Vision conjured up the
police making sudden descent on the House, walking off with SPEAKER,
SERGEANT-AT-ARMS, and possibly OLD MORALITY, to nearest station, there
to be locked up till released on bail.
[Illustration: Jemmy, J.P.]
JEMMY LOWTHER much struck by suggestion. His innate magisterial
instincts on the alert. We all know and like JEMMY, but few of us have
opportunity of seeing him at his very best. That happens when he sits
on the Magisterial Bench and dispenses justice. It is as JEMMY, J.P.,
he rises to the fullest height of his judicial manner. Still, pretty
well just now. A little embarrassed at the outset by consciousness
that his postal address at Leeds is "Swillington House." Afraid some
ribald person will remember this, and vulgarly connect it with the
discussion. Delightful to observe the way in which he reproved GEORGE
CAMPBELL for language unbecoming the precincts of the Court. CAMPBELL
had lightly spoken about "Members requiring a pick-me-up." "Persons
enjoying the privilege of obtaining alcoholic liquors," was the way
JEMMY put it, with a severe glance towards the abashed Knight of
Kircaldy.
_Business done._--Committee of Supply.
_Friday._--Turns out to-night that MORTON doesn't approve the Triple
Alliance. This would be awkward, in any circumstances. Peculiarly
embarrassing just now with one of the principal signatories our guest.
Emperor WILLIAM, was most anxious to come down to House; meant to
see everything whilst he was here, not knowing what may happen before
another opportunity presents itself.
"Always read your Diary, TOBY," he said to me, over a strawberry and
cream at Marlborough House yesterday; "gather from it the impression
that House of Commons is exceedingly interesting place; all its
Members eloquent, and all its Ministers virtuous. Must go and see it.
Look in on Friday."
Here's a go! Known beforehand that MORTON meant to state his views on
the MARKISS's foreign policy, with its evident leaning toward Germany.
Very awkward if EMPEROR came in just while MORTON was speaking.
"It would play the doose with the _ententy cordially_," said JULIUS
'ANNIBAL PICTON, who resents MORTON's interference in the field of
foreign policy.
Happily Emperor WILLIAM didn't get as far as Westminster; detained
at Guildhall; just got off in time to dine with the Great DOOK, and
afterwards to the ball at Buckingham Palace. So peace between to
great nations is maintained. But MORTON ran us pretty close. _Business
done._--Committee of Supply.
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