But we passeive there falleth of corn and cattle,
Wull, sheep, wood, lead, tin, iron and other metal,
And of all things, enough vor good and bad,
And as commediens vor us, as e'er we had;
And yet, the price of everything is zo dear,
As though the ground did bring vorth no such, nowhere.
_Resp._ Indeed! I have enough, if it be well ordered;
But few folk the better, if I be misordered.
_People._ Nay! now you zai zouth; e'en this same way goeth the hare:
Ill ordering 'tis hath made both you and we threadbare.
_Adul._ What naughty folks were they? can you their names read?
_People._ Yea! that I scan; a whole mess of om for a need.
There is vorst and vormost Flattery--ill a thee!
A slipper, sugar-mouthed whorecop, as can be.
He fleareth on you, and beareth us fair in hand;
And, therewhile, robbeth both you and we of our land.
Then cometh the sour, rough, crabbed child Oppression:
He tumbleth whom a lust out of possession.
Then is there the third--I scannot member his name--
What call ye this same, fellows!--God give them a shame--
That beeth still climbing up aloft for promidence,
And cannot be content with their state!
_Adul._ Insolence?
_People._ Yea, this same is he, Zoriless!
_Resp._ Nay, Insolence!
_People._ Well, he'll roil all the roast alone, cha hard it zaid;
Or else, make the best of them aghast and afraid.
And zuch good men as could, and would, order you well,
He is so copped, he will not suffer to mell.
If they will not be rold, then hence, out of favour;
[Yea, and per]haps corrupt om zore vor their labour!
Yet he, and th' other twain work all after the vice
Of cha-forget-tone-name, t'other is Covetise.
This hungry whorecop hath such a policate wit,
That he teacheth them to rake and scrape up each whit.
And zo these vowre--but it shall never come out for me--
Volk think will never cease to spoil both you and me.
Vor, sometime they face us, and call us peason knaves;
And zwareth: God's bones! they will make us all slaves.
Therevore, chwas besirance your ladydom to zee,
And to give you warning.
_Resp._ Hear ye this, Honesty?
_People._ Well, and God amend all, and a be zo good a clerk--
_Resp._ Hear ye this, Honesty?
_People._ --though tinkers should lack work.
_Resp._ I am put in comfort all shall shortly amend--
_Adul._ It is in good way already; else, God defend!
_Resp._ Lo, People! hearest thou this? be of good cheer!
_People._ Yea! ich hear his vair words: but what beeth we the near?
_Resp._ People! understand ye that this is Honesty?
_People._ Where a be, trow? mass! cha zeen zome as zmothe as he,
Have be a trial, be vound valse flatterers to be.
_Resp._ I take this man for no such: this is Honesty!
_People._ A gay smoult smirking whorecop 'tis; zo mot I thee!
_Resp._ Well, credit my words, People! this is Honesty.
_People._ When Is[e] find it, chil believe it!
_Resp._ 'Tis Honesty!
_People._ I scry him mercy, then!
_Resp._ He and Authority,
Joining with Policy and Reformation,
Travail to restore th' old wealth to this nation.
_People._ Whough! then chil wa'r't all within two years as plenty
As 'twas any time within these years twice twenty:
But how may we know, and see, that this thing is true?
_Adul._ Ye shall prove, at length, by th' effect that shall ensue.
_People._ Nay! and we shall alway be served but with shales;
Then chil believe, e'en still, that vain words beeth but tales.
_Adul._ The thing, already, to such forwardness is brought,
That much to your benefit is already wrought.
_People._ Yea? what any good act have ye already done?
_Adul._ It is but young days yet; things are but now begun:
The fruit of our doings cannot so soon appear.
But, People! ye shall feel it within seven year:
Ye know it is no small work, from so great decay--
_Resp._ People! he saith truth.
_Adul._ --to set all in good stay.
Therefore, be ye quiet, and hope for a good end!
_People._ Yes! chil tarry laisure, and take what God shall send.
_Resp._ Then, People! let us twain depart in quietness;
For, this talking here may hinder their business.
_People._ Come on! I chil wait avore you, and be your man.
[_Exeant._
_Adul._ And I will to my fellows as fast as I can.
Be they gone? farewell, they! God send them both the pip!
But, in faith, People! I will have you on the hip;
I will be even with you for your broad carping--
Ah, ye peasant wretch! on us four to be harping!
And yet, must we our matters handle discreetly;
Or else, I fear, it will end not very sweetly.
But now, I would Avarice, or else Insolence,
Or Oppression were here rather than sixpence.
And lo, where Avarice cometh! a wolf in the tale,
(As the proverb saith)--what doth he after him hale?
ACTUS TERTII, SCENA QUARTA.
AVARICE. ADULATION. OPPRESSION.
_Avar._ Come on, sweet bags of gold! come on, with a good will!
I, on you so tender, and ye so froward still?
Come forward, I pray you, sweet bags! ah, will ye so?
Come! or I must draw you, whether ye will or no.
I know your desire; ye would fain be in my chest--
When the belly is full, the bones would be at rest!
Be content, awhile! I will couch you all up soon
Where ye shall not be spied, neither of sun nor moon.
What now, brother Honesty! what pry ye this way?
Is there anything here that is yours--can ye say?
Look off from my bags! it is a pretty matter:
Ye can see no green cheese but your teeth will water!
_Adul._ _In nomine Patris_, hast thou got all this sens?
_Avar._ Why, thinkest thou I have sat idle since I went hence?
Nay! I have filled my little purses too, each one.
_Adul._ Hast thou so indeed? thou art a fellow alone.
_Avar._ With old angelots and Edwardes I think I have.
Come forth! how say ye, sir? peep out, ye little knave!
How think you by this bunting? is he full or no?
And his fellows all, doth not their skin stretch for woe?
Now these little buttons, no bigger than two nuts,
Have they not played gluttons, and filled well their guts?
_Adul._ But look! who cometh yonder, puffing and tuffing?
_Avar._ Come the devil, if him lust, staring and snuffing!
ACTUS TERTII, SCENA QUINTA.
OPPRESSION. AVARICE. ADULATION.
_Oppr._ In all my whole life was I never wearier.
_Avar._ Come near, on God's half! the mo knaves, the merrier!
Where have ye lost your breath? in some coffer diving?
_Oppr._ Shouldering among them for a piece of a living.
_Adul._ And what, are you now in any good hope to thrive?
_Oppr._ Faith! if I lust, I may wear mitres four or five;
I have so many half bishoprics, at the least.
_Adul._ By th' arms of Calais! then am I a very beast.
_Avar._ Why, what hast thou gotten to thy share in this space?
_Adul._ Three hundred pound by the year, and one manor place.
_Avar._ Ah, the passion of God! three hundred pound! and no more?
_Adul._ Is not that fair for him that had nothing before?
_Avar._ What, three hundred pound by years! call thee Honesty?
Call thee a knave! thou shamest our fraternity!
Three hundred pound! if some man had been in thy room,
A thousand pound a year, ere this time, might have come.
Three hundred pound a year! against our next meeting
Get more! or, I shall give a homely greeting.
_Adul._ He here hath flitched the bishoprics already.
_Avar._ Yea! I can him thank; he hath been somewhat speedy.
_Oppr._ But yet have I left many a good gobbet loose:
Change thou for the rest! give a feather for a goose!
_Adul._ Didst thou with any one of them make such exchange?
_Oppr._ Yea! I almost left them never a farm nor grange.
I told them, Respublica at their wealth did grutch;
And, the fifth penny they had was, for them, too much.
So Authority and I, did with them so chop
That we left the best of them a threadbare bishop.
To some we left one house, to some we left none;
The best had but his see place, that he might keep home.
We informed them, and we deformed them;
We conformed them, and we reformed them!
_Adul._ And what gave ye them in your permutations?
_Oppr._ Bare parsonages of appropriations,
Bought from Respublica, and first emprowed;
Then at the highest extent to bishops allowed,
Let out to their hands for fourscore and [nineteen] year.
_Avar._ Lo, cousin Honesty! lo! do ye hear this gear?
Faith! your marsship will thrive at the latter Lammas!
_Adul._ I now grant myself to have been a very ass;
But all is not yet gone, in case I have good luck.
_Oppr._ No! there is yet enough left for a better pluck.
For some of them were aged, and yet would not die;
And some would, in nowise, to our desires apply.
But we have rods in piss for them everyone,
That they shall be fleeced, if we reign, one by one.
_Avar._ And how did all frame with our Mounsire Authority?
_Oppr._ At length he won the full superiority.
_Adul._ But the rude gross People at him repineth sore;
And against us, all four, with a wide throat doth he roar.
But soft! peace! methinketh I hear him hem and hake;
If we meet here, all four, we shall some order take.
ACTUS TERTII, SCENA SEXTA.
INSOLENCE. ADULATION. OPPRESSION. AVARICE.
_Insol._ What, mine old friends, all three? by my truth, sirs,
well found!
_Adul. and Oppr._ Faith, sir! most heartily welcome into this ground.
_Insol._ Bones! what have we here?
_Avar._ Aha!
_Insol._ Bags of money, I trow!
_Avar._ Have we? Nay! I have; but none for you, that I know!
Lo, sir! thus might an honest man come to his harms;
I will lie down on them, and keep them in mine arms.
_Insol._ Hast thou got all this? I myself have not so much.
_Avar._ Then have ye whole towns and castles; I have none such.
Yet will ye not deny, I judge, in my fancy,
That ye got them by the drift of me, Policy.
_Insol._ I confess that.
_Oppr._ All my lands are scarce so much worth.
_Avar._ They were less when I, Policy, first set you forth.
_Adul._ He hath purses with gold; would I had so many!
_Avar._ It were pity that such a goose should have any.
Your good marsship appointed me to crumbs and scraps;
But Policy will live by his neighbours, perhaps!
But thus, I see, you would poll me, an ye wist how;
Therefore, I will go hoard it, I make God a vow!
I will make it sure under mine doors and mine locks;
And, who but looketh that way, shall sit in nine stocks!
_Insol._ Nay! first declare to us how thou didst all this get.
_Avar._ For your learning I will you a spectacle set;
But first get ye from me, and stand a good way hence;
This shall not lie within your reach, by your licence!
Nay, yet farther! lest ye take my bags for bloodings;
For, such hungry dogs will slab up sluttish puddings.
_Adul._ Is it well now?
_Avar._ Yea! now hardely stand there still,
And the names of my bags to you declare I will.
First and foremost, this bag is my very clear gain
Of leases encroached, and forthwith sold again.
This bag is mine interest of this year's usury;
And this is of matters bolstered up with perjury.
This is bribes above my stipend in office;
This fifth I have by selling of benefices.
This is my rents that my clerks yearly render me,
To be and continue in office under me.
This same I got by sectorship of my mother--
A vengeance on her, old witch, for such another!
This bag have I kept of other sectorships whole,
Which the mad knaves would have scattered by penny dole.
This is of church goods, scraped up without a law;
For which was as quick scambling as ever I saw:
Of their plate, their jewels, and copes, we made them louts,
Stopping People's barking with linen rags and clouts.
They had th' altar cloths, th' albs, and amices,
With the sindons in which were wrapt the chalices.
This ninth hath beguiled the king of his custom;
This tenth of selling counterfeit wares hath come.
Now this eleventh is of tallow, butter, cheese,
Corn, rawcloths, leather--by stealth sent beyond seas.
This twelfth is of grain, bell-metal, tin and lead--
Conveyed out by creeks when Respublica was in bed.
This thirteenth I filled through facing out of daws,
Both from lands and goods, by pretence of the laws.
Thus, these thirteen small jobs are mine by Policy;
All men must shift for a poor living honestly.
If e'er I bestow them it shall be, the next Lent,
To the prior of Prickingham and his co[n]vent.
_Adul._ Well now, we may come near; may we not, if we lust?
_Avar._ Ye are near enough: out of my reach I dare you trust.
_Adul._ Well now, let us sing, if it please Authority;
To refresh our spirits it is restority.
_Insol._ I reck not, for company sake, to sing once [more].
_Avar._ I have less mind to sing now than I had before:
Then had I no lust to sing, because I was bare;
And now, how to keep that I have got, I do care.
_Oppr._ Solace we must needs have, when that we are weary.
_Adul._ It prolongeth life of man to be merry.
_Avar._ An if ye sing so much, Honesty! without fail,
Christ and you, at length, I fear, will make a battle.
But go to! sing on! if there be no remedy--
An ye look at my bags ye mar my melody.
_Cantent: "Hey, nony, nony, ho for money!" etc._
_Oppr._ Now, about profit devise we ourselves abroad.
_Avar._ Yea, and hear ye, masters! while time is, lay on load!
Consider! ye have but a time of haymaking;
And harvest is not mowed without painstaking.
Now, time will not tarry; and, therefore, take good heed!
Despatch while time serveth, and all your matte[r]s speed!
Time hath no rein nor bridle, but renneth apace!
_Insol._ Mark Policy's words, sirs! excellent in our case.
_Avar._ And time hath this one ungracious property:
To blab at length, and open all that he doth see.
Then, a daughter eke he hath, called Verity;
As unhappy a long-tongued girl as can be:
She bringeth all to light; some she bring[eth] to shame;
She careth not a groat what man hath thank or blame.
If men be praiseworthy, she doth so declare them;
And, if otherwise, in faith! she doth not spare them.
_Oppr._ We will feather our nests ere time may us espy;
Or Verity have power, our doings to descry.
_Avar._ Remember this verse: _Ut sint omnia salva,_
_Fronte capillata, post hec occasio calva._
_Oppr._ Make me understand that fine rag of rhetoric!
_Avar._ Lo! here a fine fellow to have a bishopric!
A verse of Latin he cannot understand;
Yet, dareth he presume, boldly to take in hand,
Into a deanery or archideaconry to chop;
And to have the livelood away from a bishop!
_Oppr._ A mercy! show thy verse, and leave this persuasion!
_Avar._ Forsooth, sir! it was of the goddess Occasion!
She weareth a great long tuffet of hair before;
And, behind, hath not one hair, neither less nor more!
Whereby is taught you that, when Occasion is,
Ye must take it betime, or of your purpose miss.
_Adul._ Then, while Occasion doth now serve so well,
I pray you, give ear to one thing that I must tell.
_Insol. and Oppr._ What is that?
_Adul._ Mounsire! if ye hear People mumbling,
Ye must storm, and sharply take him up for stumbling.
Ye would not think what he said, a little while since,
Of us, to Respublica, in mine own presence!
_Insol._ When I meet them next I shall tell them both my mind.
_Avar._ And Policy, to help you, will not be behind.
_Adul._ Gentle Respublica was soon pacified;
But People was sturdy, and would not be qualified.
_Avar._ Alas! good, poor, silly soul! bear her fair in hand,
And ye may win her, as you lust, to use her land.
_Oppr._ But of goddess Occasion one little more.
_Avar._ Marry, sir! even as I would have said before:
She standeth with winged feet on a rolling wheel,
To take flight or any grass may grow on her heel.
And, even while we stand, jangling in this presence,
I dare say she is flown twice twenty score mile hence.
_Oppr._ Yea? Cock's bones! then adieu!
_Insol._ Farewell!
_Adul._ And I am gone!
[_Exeant currentes._
_Avar._ Faith! and have after, as fast as I can, anon!
Now, my godamighties! as I did hither tug you,
So will I, on my back, to your lodging lug you;
And sure, if ye can be quiet there, and lie still,
I will shortly bring you mo fetlows; so I will.
I have a good benefice of an hundred marks:
It is small policy to give such to great clerks:
They will take no benefice but they must have all--
A bare clerk can be content with a living small!
Therefore, Sir John Lack-Latin, my friend, shall have mine;
And, of him, may I farm it for eight pounds or nine.
The rest may I reserve to myself for mine own share;
For, we are good feeders of the poor, so we are!
And we patrons are bound to see, (I do you tell),
The church patrimony to be bestowed well.
Other odd corners, besides these, I have many;
Which, with all good speed shall increase your comp[any].
Come on now, therefore! in faith! I do great wrong
To promise you lodging, and keep you thence so long. [_Exeat._
ACTUS QUARTI, SCENA PRIMA.
[RESPUBLICA.]
_Resp._ O, Lord! what may it mean to be thus borne in hand;
And yet, none amendment to feel, nor understand?
People doth daily and hourly to me resort,
Challenging my promise of relief and comfort.
I report to him, as my rulers do to me:
People still affirmeth that they devourers be.
The more I do him cheer, the more he doth despair.
I say, his wealth doth mend; he saith, it doth appair,
What should I judge of this? may it be credible,
Or, by any reason, may it be possible
That such four as those, in whom I have put my trust,
Showing such face of friendship, should be men unjust?
I will know if People feel yet any redress
Of his former sores, and of his rueful distress.
We shall meet soon, I doubt not, and talk together.
[_Intrat_ PEOPLE.
And lo! as I would wish, he approacheth hither.
ACTUS QUARTI, SCENA SECUNDA.
RESPUBLICA. PEOPLE.
_Resp._ Well met, People! what place go ye now unto?
_People._ I cham at the farthest to zee how you do.
We twain must oftwhiles come physic either other;
Vor, we beeth your children, and you beeth our mother.
_Resp._ And how do you mend now, in your thrift and your purse?
_People._ As zour ale in summer; that is, still worse and worse!
_Resp._ People, what should I say?
_People._ Nay, mass! I scannot tell:
But we ignorams all would fain ye should do well.
And how feel you yourself? better than ye did, trow?
_Resp._ Till God send better hap, rather decay than grow:
This bringeth me in a conceipt of jealousy--
Rather than much good would I speak with Policy.
_People._ Was not he drowned, trow, last year, when Conscience was?
_Resp._ I see him yonder appear; this cometh well to pass.
_People._ Is this same he?
_Resp._ Yea!
_People._ An ich heard not you zo zai
Chould zware a had be dead, or else clean run away!
ACTUS QUARTI, SCENA TERTIA.
[AVARICE.] RESPUBLICA. PEOPLE.
_Avarice._ O most noble lady! that I have not, of late,
Made to you relation how ye stand in state,
Hath not been of negligence, nor to wo[r]k by stealth;
But of my deep studies, devising for your wealth.
_Resp._ To hear the truth thereof, I wished you to see.
_People._ Doth you stud your brains, mas gentman!--pray you tell me!--
For our lady Ricepudding-cake's commodity?
_Avar._ I devise what I can for the prosperity
Of this Lady Respu[b]lica and her people.
_People._ That lie, ere this, is flown as far hence as Poule steeple!
I spray God, ye stud not, as cha hard of zome elves
That study for the common profit of their own selves!
_Avar._ To study for both your wealths, I am a debtor.
_People._ Vay, then! as good ne'er a whit, as ne'er the better.
_Avar._ I do nothing but compass therefore, without doubt.
_People._ I vay, then! thee vent too far a compass about,
Vor zome good might ha' be doon in all this season.
_Avar._ So there is, if to perceive it ye had reason!
_Resp._ Truly! I feel myself, hitherto, worse and worse.
_People._ And I svele the same, both in my ground and my purse;
Vive or zix year ago chad vowre kine to my pale;
And, at this prezent hour, cham scarce worth a good cow tail;
And that time chad a widge, and her vole and ten sheep;
Now, I scan geat nothing, myzelf and my wife to keep.
Then an chad, I be with the king's mass constable,
Chould zet myself vorth prettily, and zo chwas able;
Now, vor lack of a sallet, when my liege hath need,
Cham vain to take an hat of God's good on my head.
And vor God!--my dame, this is but small amendment!
I scomport me to you: how thinketh your judgment?
Compassing? ka! gentman! call ye this same compassing?
And, whom shall we twain thank? you, for this compassing?
_Avar._ No, sir!
_People._ Now, by the compass that God compassed!
_Resp._ Blame have they of God and man, that this compassed!
_People._ A small compass more, now, may zoon compass, by th' rood!
To make fowerty thousand volks hair grow through their hood!
_Avar._ That is their own fault; not the fault of Policy.
_Resp._ God above, He knoweth whose fault it is, and not I.
_People._ But did not ich, daily, give you warning?
_Resp._ Doubtless!
_People._ And did not ich plain me to you?
_Resp._ I grant no less!
_People._ And when ich made my mone, what would [ye] me tell?
_Resp._ As my hope was; that, at length, all thing should be well.
_People._ Compassing? ka!
_Resp._ People! I put trust in other.
_People._ Valse bezeivers of zembity, by God's mother!
_Avar._ Well, suffer me then, for my declaration,
To set Authority and Reformation;
That ye may both hear, and charge them as well as me.
_Resp._ With all my heart, good Policy! let it so be.
I pray you call them hither, if they may be got.
_People._ Anch hear om; I scan tell whe'er they say true or not!
ACTUS QUARTI, SCENA QUARTA.
AVARICE. INSOLENCE. RESPUBLICA. OPPRESSION. PEOPLE.
_Avar._ The foulest open-mouthed wretch that e'er ye heard!
_Insol._ Could thou, by no means, make the peasant afeard?
_Avar._ No! but anon, I trow! we shall his masship trim--
Convey her away; and then all we three chide him.
But, whist! and come apace!
_Resp._ I hear Policy's voice.
_Avar._ That I met you, so well, I do much rejoice:
Lady Respublica! would you come her before?
_Insol._ Madame, God ye save!
_Oppr._ And preserve for ever more!
_Resp._ This is happy hap ye come so soon together?
_Avar._ As I went I met them, both twain, hasting hither.
_Resp._ Never in better time!
_Insol._ Madame! what is your will?
_Oppr._ Is there any thing that you would say us until?
_Resp._ People crieth out, and I am much aggrieved
That we feel ourselves in nothing yet relieved.
_Oppr._ No? that is not true; many declare I can--
_Resp._ Even in brief words, I pray you, do it than.
_People._ Pray you let me spose with this same new come gentman.
_Insol._ No, sir!
_People._ Mass! but chil speak anch can spy my time whan?
_Oppr._ First, your priests and bishops have not as they have had.
_Resp._ [When] they had their livings, men were both fed and clad.
_Oppr._ Yea! but they ought not, by scripture, to be called lords.
_Resp._ That they rule the church, with scripture well accords.
_Oppr._ They were proud and covetous, and took much upon them.
_People._ But they were not covetous that took all from them!
_Oppr._ The coin also is changed.
_People._ Yea! from silver to dross--
'Twas told us vor the best: but poor we bear the loss!
When chad with zwet of brows got up a few small crumbs,
At paying of my debts ich could not make my sums.
My landlord, vor my corn, paid me zuch sums and zuch;
When he should ha't vor rent, it was but half zo much.
Zix pence in each shilling was i-strike quite away;
Zo, vor one piece ich took, che was vain to pay him tway.
One would think 'twere brass, and zorow have I else;
But, ich ween most part on't was made of our old bells!
_Insol._ Yet, if ye mark it well, for one piece ye have three;
Which, for your People is no small commodity.
_People._ Well, I will meddle in this same matter no more;
But Is reck not an 'twere zilver, as 'twas avor.
_Oppr._ People! ye shall, at length, find it all for the best.
_People._ Cha hard our parish clerk say:
_Diuum este, justlum weste_.
_Resp._ Undoubtedly, I feel many things are amiss!
_People._ Yea! I scan tell more things yet, an me lust, by Jis!
They have all the woods throughout the realm destroyed,
Which might have served long years, being well employed.
And then, the great cobs have zo take the rest to hire,
That poor volk cannot get a stick to make a fire.
Then their great grazing hath made flesh so dear, I wot,
That poor volk, at shambles, cannot bestow their groat.
_Resp._ I lament it, People! Alack! what may I do?
I, myself, I fear, shall come to ruin too.
Policy! what comfort? when will you ease my smart?
_Avar._ Ye are as safe, even now, but for your false heart,
As any lady of your name in Christendom.
_People._ If ich had zo zaid, chad lied, by my halidom!
_Resp._ Ye hear what People saith, which feeleth as I do?
_Avar._ But rude People's words, will ye give credit unto?
Will ye judge yourself after his foolish [jangling?]
Ye were well enough till he began his wrangling.
_Insol._ Will ye believe People, that hath no manner of skill
To judge, or to discern what thing is good or ill?
He is so headstrong, he must be bridled with laws.