Never (so love me the Gods!) deemed I 'twas preference matter
Or Æmilius' mouth choose I to smell or his ----
Nothing is this more clean, uncleaner nothing that other,
Yet I ajudge ---- cleaner and nicer to be;
For while this one lacks teeth, that one has cubit-long tushes, 5
Set in their battered gums favouring a muddy old box,
Not to say aught of gape like wide-cleft gap of a she-mule
Whenas in summer-heat wont peradventure to stale.
Yet has he many a motte and holds himself to be handsome--
Why wi' the baker's ass is he not bound to the mill? 10
Him if a damsel kiss we fain must think she be ready
With her fair lips ----
Nay (may the Gods thus love me) have I thought there to be aught of choice
whether I might smell thy mouth or thy buttocks, O Aemilius. Nothing could
the one be cleaner, nothing the other more filthy; nay in truth thy
backside is the cleaner and better,--for it is toothless. Thy mouth hath
teeth full half a yard in length, gums of a verity like to an old
waggon-box, behind which its gape is such as hath the vulva of a she-mule
cleft apart by the summer's heat, always a-staling. This object swives
girls enow, and fancies himself a handsome fellow, and is not condemned to
the mill as an ass? Whatso girl would touch thee, we think her capable of
licking the breech of a leprous hangman.