AN HEROIC OFFER
Bob Purnett spent nearly two months in Ireland; it was much longer than
he had intended, but he liked the hunting there, and, when that was
over, found excellent quarters and amusing society at the house of a
squire whom his prowess in the field had won to friendship and who
maintained the national tradition in the matter of good claret. Bob had
no cause for hurry; his year's work was done. A holiday on the Riviera
was the next item in his annual programme.
He arrived in London two days before the expedition to Madeira was to
start. Of it he knew nothing. He had written a couple of friendly breezy
letters to Winnie (under the idea that she might be down-hearted), and
the answer to the first--she had not answered the second--told him where
she was and conveyed the impression that she still found life bearable.
Where she was possessed a certain significance in his eyes; he nodded
his head over it. It was a factor--precisely how important he could not
say--in answering the question he had been, not with oppressive
frequency yet from time to time, asking himself in the intervals of
hunting and of drinking his host's good claret. "Why shouldn't she?" was
the form the question assumed in his thoughts. If she had with Godfrey
Ledstone--not much of a chap after all!--why shouldn't she with somebody
else? True, Winnie had always puzzled him. But there was the line of
division--a fixed line surely, if anything was fixed? She had crossed it
once. He could not see why, with the proper courtesies observed, she
should not make another transit. Yet, because she had always puzzled
him, he was, as he told himself, stupidly nervous about making the
proposition. People who do things, and yet do not seem to be the sort of
people who generally do them, occasion these doubts and hesitations,
confusing psychology and perplexing experience. Yet, finally, he was
minded to 'chance it'--and, let it be said, not without such a sense of
responsibility as it lay in his nature to feel. She had crossed the
line, but he knew that she did not regard herself as a denizen of the
other side. He was ready to concede that, to allow for it, to be very
much on his good behaviour. Above all, no hint of the mercantile! He had
the perception to see not only how fatal, but how rude and unjustifiable
such a thing would be. He was (in a sentence) prepared to combine a
charming companionship with an elevating influence. Permanently? Ah,
well! If bygones are to be bygones, futurities may, by a parity of
treatment, be left to the future.
He called at the flat in Knightsbridge on Friday afternoon. In the
drawing-room neighbourhood no signs of the impending expedition were
visible; invaluable Emily restricted the ravages of packing to the
bedrooms and their immediate vicinity. Mrs. Lenoir and Winnie were
together, drinking tea. Winnie received him with glad cordiality; in the
hostess he felt vaguely a hint of reserve. Mrs. Lenoir, full of her new
project, did not see why Bob Purnett should come. She had nothing
against him, but he was irrelevant; if her scheme succeeded, he would
naturally drop out. She was distantly gracious--the 'grand manner' made
its appearance--and, after giving him a cup of tea, went back to her
packing, concerning which neither she nor Winnie had said a word--Winnie
waiting for a lead from her friend, and her friend not being minded to
give it.
Winnie had not thought of Bob for weeks, but her heart warmed to him.
"He saved my life that first night," was her inward utterance of
gratitude. She lounged back on the sofa, and let him talk. But he did
not talk idly for long; Bob Purnett took his fences; after all, he had
made a thorough inspection of this particular 'teaser' before he mounted
his horse.
"I've been thinking a lot about you, since I've been away."
"Flattered, Mr. Purnett."
"Oh, rot. I mean, hoping you weren't unhappy, and so on, you know."
Winnie moved her small hands in a gesture expressive of a reasoned
endurance.
"But, I say, pretty quiet here, isn't it?"
"Oh yes, but I don't mind that."
"Don't want to sit down here all your life, do you?"
"That is rather a large order, isn't it? Have you anything else to
suggest?"
"You've begun to laugh at a fellow already!"
"Already? Good gracious, is there anything tremendous coming?"
Bob got up from his chair, moved across the hearthrug, and stood by her.
He cleared his throat and lit a cigarette. Winnie began to be curious;
she smiled up at him. "I believe you've got something on your mind. Out
with it." A sudden idea flashed into her head. "You've not come from
Godfrey? Because that's utterly impossible."
"What do you take me for? I haven't seen the fellow. I say, what made
you think that?"
"Oh, I beg your pardon--I'm sorry. But you asked whether I wanted to
stay here; that was like suggesting I should go somewhere else, wasn't
it? So I thought you might mean that I should go--go back, you know. I'd
sooner kill myself."
"Oh, please drop it. I wasn't talking about that. I'm off to Monte Carlo
on Tuesday." He looked down at his well-polished broad-welted brown
boots; he was always admirably shod. Yet he seemed to find no
inspiration, or not a very happy one. "Got over it, haven't you?"
Winnie shrank into her shell. "I think I prefer your dumb sympathy. How
can you expect me to talk about it?"
"Put my foot in it?"
"Well, yes, rather." Her right hand beat a tattoo on the arm of her
chair.
"Always do," remarked Bob reflectively, his eyes still on his boots. He
was not surprised that she thought his question badly phrased--necessary
preliminary as it was in substance.
"Oh, nonsense. You're a dear. But have you really anything you're trying
to say?"
He must jump now--or he must refuse. He saw it, and courage came with
the need for it.
"I say, could you think of coming with me to Monte?" He raised his eyes,
and looked her full in the face as he put the question. He had
courage--but the puzzle was terribly persistent. "Will she come, or will
she kick me out?"--is a brief summary of his inward questioning; he
thought it about equal betting.
"Come with you?"
"Yes. Have a bit of fun, you know. We'd have a rare time." He was down
at his boots again. "And everything just as you like, honour bright,
Winnie, till--till you saw what you wanted, don't you know?"
Winnie sat quite still for a few moments. She looked at Bob Purnett with
an inquiring glance. He was a very good fellow. That she knew. Was he
quite sane? He was certainly funny--so funny that indignation refused to
adorn the situation. Slowly a smile bent the lines of her mouth. Here
was a pretty contrast to Dick Dennehy's heartfelt appeal to her to 'take
care of herself'; and not less to Bertie Merriam's respectfully cautious
attentions. Aye, and to Mrs. Lenoir's schemes! She was aware that Bob
had never grasped the true significance of her action in regard to
Godfrey Ledstone. But to think that he had missed it so tremendously as
this! And there were the trunks packed, not for Monte Carlo, but for
Madeira--trunks redolent of respectability. She might be amused, but her
amusement could not be devoid of malice; she might smile, but Bob must
suffer--well, just a little, anyhow. She looked up at him, smiling still
in treacherous amiability.
"Is this a proposal of marriage, Bob?" she asked.
He flushed. "Well--er--you can't marry, can you, Winnie?"
"Not at the moment. But I can in a little more than six months. Would
you and Monte Carlo wait for me?"
"In a little more than----? What, is Maxon----?"
"Yes, he is--very soon now."
"You never told me!"
"Up to now, I had no reason to suppose you were interested."
Bob Purnett was obviously upset, very much upset indeed. He stared at
her for a moment, his eyes seeming prominent in their aghast surprise.
"Good Lord!" he muttered, and started striding across the room, then
back again--like Mr. Ledstone in the back room at Woburn Square or
Godfrey in his new studio. He went on with this for three or four
minutes. Winnie sat with her head resting on the high back of her
arm-chair, her eyes following him in scornful amusement and gratified
malice. Bob was suffering for his presumption, his inability to
appreciate plain differences, his gross misjudgment of her. His
wrigglings under the chastisement were entertaining to watch. In his
unfortunate person she seemed to be punishing all the great world which
had refused to understand her; she was getting a little bit of her own
back at last.
Once, as he walked, he looked at her. His face was red, and he was
frowning. Winnie's steady smile seemed to give him no comfort. With a
queer jerk of his head he resumed his restless pacing.
Indeed, Bob felt himself fairly caught. What a fool he had been not to
reconnoitre the ground before an advance which had proved so rash! But
he was not a scoundrel; he prided himself on 'playing the game.' Some
men he knew would lightly give a promise if it were likely to serve
their purpose and make no bones about breaking it six months hence. That
was not his way, even where it would serve his purpose. What he was
asking, as he paced, was whether he were bound to make the promise; if
he made it, it should be kept. Of course it was the last thing he had
ever meant; it was entirely outside his scheme of life, and his feeling
for Winnie was not nearly strong enough to oust his scheme from the
first place in his affections. But could he get out of the hole he was
in without brutality, without insulting her? He did not see that he
could. She had not married Godfrey Ledstone--it had been impossible. In
his heart Bob had never believed in there being any other really
operative reason. Her theories had been just a making the best of it.
Now it would be possible, shortly, for her to marry him. It was, he
conceded, entirely natural that she should jump at the chance. Could he
decline, after his first proposal? That would to put the case--both his
and her cases, in fact--in disagreeably plain terms. But he felt that it
was terribly bad luck, and he, too, had his resentment--an angry protest
against inconsistency. Why did Maxon first refuse, and then take back
his refusal? Why did Winnie cross the line, and then want to cross back
again? They 'let a man in' by behaviour like that--let him in very
badly.
Still, he was in his way very fond of her; and he was sorry for her. It
did not lie in him to hurt her wilfully, even though not hurting her
were to his own damage. And, then, it would be rather heroic--so very
much the right thing to do. In common with most of mankind, he was
susceptible to the attractions of the heroic; the glamour of it would,
or, at all events, might, help him to bear the situation.
He came and stood in front of her, his hands in his pockets; he looked
rather sheepish.
"All right, Winnie. Just as soon as it's possible. There's my word on
it." He mustered a smile. "Don't be too down on me, though. I never
pictured myself as a husband, you know."
"You certainly needn't picture yourself as mine," said Winnie.
"You mean--you won't do it?"
"Of course I won't--any more than I'll go with you to Monte Carlo." She
broke into a laugh at the perplexity of his red face. "Oh, you old
goose, to think that I should do either!"
Bob knew that his first proposal was irregular, and might have been
taken as insulting--at least by a woman so inconsistent as Winnie; his
second was undoubtedly handsome and heroic. He could not see that either
was ridiculous. He flushed redder still under the friendly contempt of
Winnie's words.
"I don't see anything so particularly absurd about it. When I thought
you couldn't marry, I didn't ask you to. When you told me you could, I
did. What's the matter with that?"
"Why, you are--and I am--very much the matter with it! But don't fly out
at me, Bob. I might have flown out at you, but I didn't."
"Oh, you got home all right in your own way. You've made me look an
ass." His tone expressed a grudging resentful admiration; his glance was
of the same order. He was furious, and Winnie, in her animation and
triumph, was very pretty.
"I don't see that it's altogether my doing. I think you helped. Come,
don't be cross. You know that you're most awfully relieved. Your face,
as you considered the question, was a study in consternation."
He was certainly relieved about the marriage; but he was disappointed
and hurt about the trip to Monte Carlo. If she had 'flown out' at him in
moral indignation, that would have been intelligible, though, again, in
his opinion hardly consistent, conduct on her part; as it was, she had
called him, not a scoundrel, but a goose, and had played her trick on
him with a smiling face, looking the while most attractive and
hopelessly unapproachable.
"Well, I mean what I say. My offer stands. Perhaps you'll think better
of your answer." His voice was doggedly angry now. He plainly suggested
that she--in her position--might go farther and fare worse.
Winnie did not miss the hint, but let it pass with a gay contempt.
"I won't quarrel; I don't mean to. If I had, I should have quarrelled
at the beginning." She jumped up from her chair, and laid a hand on his
arm. "Let's forgive each other, Bob!"
Under a sudden impulse he caught her round the waist. Winnie's figure
stiffened into a sudden rigidity, but she made no other movement. Bob's
arm fell away again; he walked off towards a chair behind the door, on
which he had left his hat and gloves. "I expect I'd better go," he said,
in an unsteady voice, without turning his head towards her.
"Please, Bob."
The situation was relieved, or, at least, ended, by the opening of the
door. The parlour-maid announced, "Major Merriam, miss!"
The Major came in briskly. A large funnel-shaped parcel of white paper
proclaimed a bouquet of flowers. Bob, behind the door, was not within
the Major's immediate range of vision.
"Well, Miss Wilson, are you all ready for the voyage? I've brought you a
few flowers for your cabin."
"Oh, thank you so much. May I--er--introduce you to my friend, Mr.
Purnett? Mr. Purnett--Major Merriam." The Major bowed politely; Bob
rather stiffly.
"I was just off," he said, coming back towards Winnie, with hat and
gloves in his left hand. He was wondering 'who the devil that chap
is'--and 'what was that about a voyage and a cabin.'
"Yes, we're actually nearly ready, women though we are! Emily's so
splendid at it! Must you go, Bob? It'll be some time before we meet
again. We're off to Madeira to-morrow morning, and then on to Italy--to
the Lakes." She smiled on Bob. "But I'm afraid we shan't get to Monte
Carlo!"
"I didn't know you were--were going away."
"I was just going to tell you when Major Merriam came in. We're all
looking forward to it; aren't we, Major? Major Merriam and his father
are coming with us as far as Madeira."
"The ladies are good enough to accept our escort and our company for two
or three weeks," said Bertie Merriam. He thought the other fellow looked
rather sulky.
"Going to be away long?" Bob jerked out the inquiry.
"Oh, about three months, I think. Well, if you must go, good-bye, Bob.
So good of you to come and see me." She smelt the nosegay which she had
taken from Bertie. "Your flowers are delicious, Major Merriam!"
Bob Purnett had never dreamt of such a factor in the situation as the
Major now presented--this perfectly equipped, much-at-ease Major, who
had no doubt that his flowers would be welcome, and whose company was
accepted as far as Madeira--for two or three weeks, indeed, in Madeira.
The feelings which had prompted him to put his hand round Winnie's waist
transformed themselves into a fierce jealousy. She had laughed at his
proposal--his heroic offer. Would she laugh at the Major's, if he made
one? In one way and another his feelings had by now carried him far from
the mood in which he had originally braced himself up to the proposal.
He had made it for honour's sake. He would have made it now to stop her
from going to Madeira with the Major. His mind was not quick of
movement, yet he suddenly realized that not improbably he would see no
more of her. His world was not, save in the casual intercourse of the
hunting-field, the world of men like the Major.
"Well, good-bye; I wish you a pleasant voyage," he managed to say, under
the eyes of the Major.
"Good-bye--and _au revoir_--when I come back!"
How he hated the eyes of the Major! He did not dare even to press her
hand; the Major would detect it and laugh at him! A limp shake was all
he could give. Then he had to go away, and leave her with the
Major--leave her to make ready, not for Monte Carlo with him, but for
Madeira with the Major. That was a fine reward for an heroic offer!
Certainly, in her duel against the male sex, Winnie had scored some hits
that afternoon.
Listlessly and disconsolately he strolled towards Piccadilly. He was at
odds with the world. He had nobody to go to Monte Carlo with--nobody he
cared a straw about. Indeed, whom did he care about really, or who
really cared about him? He had a lot of friends of a sort; but how much
did he care for them, or they for him? Precious little--that was the
truth, seen in the unusual clarity of this afternoon's atmosphere. Other
men had wives, or children, or devoted friends. He seemed to have
nobody. Disgusting world it was! And he liked Winnie--nay, he more than
liked her. He had learnt that also this afternoon. And he had, in the
end, proposed the handsome thing. For nobody else in the world would he
have done that. His reward had been ridicule from her--and the
appearance of the Major. "It's all a bit too thick," reflected poor Bob
Purnett, thus suddenly brought up against the sort of thing that is
prone occasionally to happen to people who lead the sort of life he led.
But he did not explicitly connect the sort of life and the sort of
thing. He had no more than a general, but desperate, sense of
desolation. The times were out of joint.
When a man is miserable, he is under sore temptation to hurt
somebody--even some blameless individual, whose only crime is that he
forms a minute (and involuntary) part of the world which is behaving so
badly. Should a particularly vulnerable person chance to pass by, let
him look out for himself! One connected, however remotely, with the
cause of the misery, for instance. Misery is apt to see a foe
everywhere--and to seek a companion.
Just as Bob was passing Hyde Park Corner, he ran plump into Godfrey
Ledstone, who came out from the Park at a quick walk. The street lamp
revealed them to one another. Godfrey would have passed by with a nod
and a 'How are you?' That was not at all Bob's idea. He was resolute in
buttonholing his friend, in saying how long it was since they had met,
in telling him about his doings in the meantime. He enjoyed Godfrey's
uneasiness; for Godfrey set him down as a sympathizer with Winnie and
was in fear of reference to the topic. Bob made the reference in his own
good time.
"Funny I should meet you!" he observed, with a strong draw at his cigar.
"Is it? I don't know. I often take this walk."
"Because I've just come from calling on Winnie." He eyed his prospective
victim gloatingly. He was like a savage who thinks that he can unload
some of his misfortune on to his neighbour by employing the appropriate
ceremonies.
"Oh, I--I hope she's all right?"
"Seems blooming. I didn't have much talk with her, though. There was a
chap dancing attendance--a Major somebody or other. Oh yes,
Merriam--Major Merriam. He came in pretty soon, with a bouquet of
flowers as big as your head. Seems that she and Mrs. Lenoir are off
abroad to-morrow, and our friend the Major goes too. I don't think you
need make yourself unhappy about Winnie, old chap."
"Who is he? I never heard of him."
"Well, I didn't suppose you and she were keeping up a correspondence! If
you come to that, I should rather doubt if he ever heard of you." Bob
smiled in a fashion less amiable than was his wont.
"Well, I'm in a hurry. Good-bye, old man."
"Walking my way?" He indicated Piccadilly and eastwards.
It had been Godfrey's way home. "I've got to go to a shop in Sloane
Street," said Godfrey.
"Ta-ta then! It'll be a relief to you if she settles down all right,
won't it?"
Godfrey said nothing more than 'Good-bye.' But his face, as he said it,
was very expressive; it quite satisfied Bob Purnett's impulse to hurt
somebody. Godfrey Ledstone did not like Major Merriam any more than he
himself did! The magical ceremony had worked; some of his misfortune was
unloaded.
Well, the two were in the end much in the same case. Winnie had led
Godfrey into the great experiment, and through it into the great
failure. She had, this afternoon, made Bob Purnett, in his turn, false
to his settled plan of life, had sent him away sore and savage because
he could not do the one thing which he had always scornfully declared
that he would never do. She had left them both--left Godfrey to those
proceedings, to the family woe, to Miss Thurseley's immediate
repudiation; left Bob to contemplate a lost pleasure, a fruitless
heroism, and the Major in Madeira. The two ought to have sympathized
with one another. Yet their thoughts about one another were not
friendly. "If I'd known the sort of chap he was, I'd have had a shot at
it sooner," thought Bob. Godfrey's protest went deeper. "Of course it'll
happen, but why in heaven's name need he tell me about it?" For Bob had
suppressed all that part of the story which accounted for his telling.
They went their separate ways--artificially separate on this occasion,
since there was no shop in Sloane Street at which Godfrey Ledstone
desired to call. They went their ways with their thoughts, in whose
mirror each saw Winnie smiling on the Major. Precisely what Miss Wilson
was doing at the moment! Jealous men see more than happens, but what
happens they generally see.