Hygiene and Demography! Never before
With such wonderful names has a Conference met,
With statistics by thousands and papers galore
As to what Demos wants, as to what he's to get.
It's not always perfectly clear what they mean.
Yet, perhaps an outsider is right when he thinks
Though no doubt they would die for beloved Hygiene,
As a matter of fact they indulge in High Jinks.
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NEW WORK BY SIR AUGUSTUS DRURIOLANUS--to be included in the "_Opera
Omnia_," by the same Author writing under a _nom de plume_, entitled,
"_Legs Taglionis; or, Little Steps for Babes in the Ballet. By a Pa'
de Quatre_." Also "_Classes and Lasses_," same series.
* * * * *
[Illustration: A PIOUS FRAUD!
"HULLO, MONTY, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN YOUR BUTTON-HOLE? YOU DON'T MEAN
TO SAY YOU'VE JOINED THE BLUE RIBBON ARMY?"--"YES; FOR THIS NIGHT
ONLY. GOING TO DINE WITH JAKES. DON'T WANT TO HURT POOR OLD JAKES'S
FEELINGS--DON'T WANT TO BE POISONED BY HIS BEASTLY WINE. SEE?"]
* * * * *