_OR, THE CHRISTIAN CZAR AND THE HEATHEN CHINEE._
[A decree issued by the Emperor of CHINA (in connection with
the recent anti-foreign agitation in that country) points
out that the relations between the Chinese and the foreign
missionaries have been those of peace and goodwill, and that
the Christians are protected by treaty and by Imperial edicts,
and commands the Governors and Lieutenant-Governors to protect
the Christians and put down the leaders in the riots.]
Many writers remark,--
And their language is plain,
That for cruelty dark,
And for jealousy vain,
The Heathen Chinee is _peculiar_,--
In future perhaps they'll refrain.
AH-SIN has his faults,
Which one cannot deny;
And some recent assaults
On the mis-sion-a-ry,
Have been worthy of--say Christian Russia,
When dealing with small Hebrew fry.
But the EMPEROR seems stirred
Persecution to bar,
Which it might be inferred
That I mean the White CZAR;
But I don't. On the Muscovite CÆSAR
Such charity clearly would jar.
_He's_ always the same,
And he'll not stay _his_ hand;
The poor Jews are fair game
In a great "Christian" Land;
But the Lord of the Pencil Vermilion
Rebukes _his_ fanatical band.
A Heathen--of course!--
(Whilst the CZAR is a Saint)
But a sign of remorse
At the Christian's complaint
May be seen in the edict he's issued,
Which might make a great Autocrat faint.
A Christian, 'tis true,
To a Heathen Chinee
Is as bad as a Jew
Must undoubtedly be
To an orthodox Christian of Russdom,
Too "pious" for mere Char-i-tee.
So one Emperor stones
His poor Israelites,
Whilst the other one owns
Even Christians have "rights,"
And, although they're (of course) "foreign devils,"
Their peace with good-will he requites.
Which is why, I maintain
(And my language is free)
That the CZAR, though he's vain
Of his Or-tho-dox-y,
Might learn from his Emperor cousin,
Though he's only a Heathen Chinee!
* * * * *
NEWS OF "OUR HENRY" (_communicated by Mr. J.L. T-LE_).--To our
interviewer the eminent actor replied, "Yes, suffering from bad
sore throat, but may talk, as it's _hoarse exercise_ which has been
recommended. A stirrup-cup at parting? By all means. My cob is an
excellent trotter, so I pledge you, with a bumper well-in-hand.
Good-day!" And so saying, he gaily waved his plumed hat, and rode
away.
* * * * *
"RATHER A LARGE ORDER."--"The Order of the Elephant" conferred on
President CARNOT by the King of Denmark. This should include an Order
for the Grand Trunk, in which to carry it about. The proper person to
receive this Order is evidently the Grand Duke of Tusk-any.
* * * * *
[Illustration: CONFIDENCES OF A MATURE SIREN.
"I ADMIT I'M NOT AS HANDSOME AS I USED TO BE; BUT I'M TWICE AS
DANGEROUS!"]
* * * * *