I then went to my own room, where I continued till I was summoned to
dinner; after which, Mrs. Selwyn invited me to hers.
The moment she had shut the door, "Your Ladyship'" said she, "will,
I hope, be seated."
"Ma'am!" cried I, staring.
"O the sweet innocent! So you don't know what I mean?-but, my dear,
my sole view is to accustom you a little to your dignity elect, lest,
when you are addressed by your title, you should look another way, from
an apprehension of listening to a discourse not meant for you to hear."
Having, in this manner, diverted herself with my confusion, till her
raillery was almost exhausted, she congratulated me very seriously
upon the partiality of Lord Orville, and painted to me, in the
strongest terms, his disinterested desire of being married to me
immediately. She had told him, she said, my whole story, and yet
he was willing, nay eager, that our union should take place of any
further application to my family. "Now, my dear," continued she,
"I advise you by all means to marry him directly; nothing can be
more precarious than our success with Sir John; and the young men of
this age are not to be trusted with too much time for deliberation,
where their interests are concerned."
"Good God, Madam," cried I, "do you think I would hurry Lord Orville?"
"Well, do as you will," said she, "luckily you have an excellent
subject for Quixotism;-otherwise this delay might prove your ruin;
but Lord Orville is almost as romantic as if he had been born and
bred at Berry Hill."
She then proposed, as no better expedient seemed likely to be
suggested, that I should accompany her at once in her visit to the
Hot-Wells to-morrow morning.
The very idea made me tremble; yet she represented so strongly the
necessity of pursuing this unhappy affair with spirit, or giving it
totally up, that, wanting her force of argument, I was almost obliged
to yield to her proposal.
In the evening we all walked in the garden; and Lord Orville, who
never quitted my side, told me he had been listening to a tale, which
though it had removed the perplexities that had so long tormented him,
had penetrated him with sorrow and compassion. I acquainted him with
Mrs. Selwyn's plan for to-morrow, and confessed the extreme terror
it gave me. He then, in a manner almost unanswerable, besought me
to leave to him the conduct of the affair, by consenting to be his
before an interview took place.
I could not but acknowledge my sense of his generosity; but I told him
I was wholly dependent upon you; and that I was certain your opinion
would be the same as mine; which was, that it would be highly improper
I should dispose of myself for ever, so very near the time which must
finally decide by whose authority I ought to be guided. The subject of
this dreaded meeting, with the thousand conjectures and apprehensions
to which it gives birth, employed all our conversation then, as it
has all my thoughts since.
Heaven only knows how I shall support myself, when the long
expected-the wished-yet terrible moment arrives, that will prostrate
me at the feet of the nearest, the most reverenced of all relations,
whom my heart yearns to know, and longs to love!