EVELINA TO THE REV. MR. VILLARS London, June 6.
ONCE more, my dearest Sir, I write to you from this great
city. Yesterday morning, with the truest concern, I quitted the dear
inhabitants of Howard Grove, and most impatiently shall I count the
days till I see them again. Lady Howard and Mrs. Mirvan took leave
of me with the most flattering kindness; but indeed I knew not how to
part with Maria, whose own apparent sorrow redoubled mine. She made
me promise to send her a letter every post: and I shall write to her
with the same freedom, and almost the same confidence, you allow me
to make use of to yourself.
The Captain was very civil to me: but he wrangled with poor Madame
Duval to the last moment; and, taking me aside, just before we got
into the chaise, he said, "Hark'ee, Miss Anville, I've a favour for
to ask of you, which is this; that you will write us word how the
old gentlewoman finds herself, when she sees it was all a trick;
and what the French lubber says to it, and all about it."
I answered that I would obey him, though I was very little pleased
with the commission, which, to me, was highly improper; but he will
either treat me as an informer, or make me a party in his frolic.
As soon as we drove away, Madame Duval, with much satisfaction,
exclaimed, "Dieu merci, we've got off at last! I'm sure I never desire
to see that place again. It's a wonder I've got away alive; for I
believe I've had the worst luck ever was known, from the time I set
my foot upon the threshold. I know I wish I'd never a gone. Besides,
into the bargain, it's the most dullest place in all Christendom:
there's never no diversions, nor nothing at all."
Then she bewailed M. Du Bois; concerning whose adventures she continued
to make various conjectures during the rest of our journey.
When I asked her what part of London she should reside in, she told me
that Mr. Branghton was to meet us at an inn, and would conduct us to
a lodging. Accordingly, we proceeded to a house in Bishopsgate Street,
and were led by a waiter into a room where we found Mr. Branghton.
He received us very civilly; but seemed rather surprised at seeing
me, saying, "Why, I didn't think of your bringing Miss; however,
she's very welcome."
"I'll tell you how it was," said Madame Duval: "you must know I've
a mind to take the girl to Paris, that she may see something of the
world, and improve herself a little; besides, I've another reason,
that you and I will talk more about. But, do you know, that meddling
old parson, as I told you of, would not let her go: however, I'm
resolved I'll be even with him; for I shall take her on with me,
without saying never a word more to nobody."
I started at this intimation, which very much surprised me. But, I am
very glad she has discovered her intention, as I shall be carefully
upon my guard not to venture from town with her.
Mr. Branghton then hoped we had passed our time agreeably in the
country.
"O Lord, cousin," cried she, "I've been the miserablest creature in
the world! I'm sure all the horses in London sha'n't drag me into
the country again of one while: why, how do you think I've been
served?-only guess."
"Indeed, cousin, I can't pretend to do that."
"Why then I'll tell you. Do you know I've been robbed!-that is,
the villain would have robbed me if he could, only I'd secured all
my money."
"Why, then cousin, I think your loss can't have been very great."
"O Lord, you don't know what you're a saying; you're talking in the
unthinkingest manner in the world: why, it was all along of not having
no money that I met with that misfortune."
"How's that, cousin? I don't see what great misfortune you can have
met with, if you'd secured all your money."
"That's because you don't know nothing of the matter: for there the
villain came to the chaise; and, because we hadn't got nothing to give
him, though he'd no more right to our money than the man in the moon,
yet, do you know, he fell into the greatest passion ever you see,
and abused me in such a manner, and put me in a ditch, and got a rope
o'purpose to hang me;-and I'm sure, if that wasn't misfortune enough,
why I don't know what is."
"This is a hard case, indeed, cousin. But why don't you go to Justice
Fielding?"
"O as to that, I'm a going to him directly; but only I want first to
see M. Du Bois; for the oddest thing of all is, that he has wrote to
me, and never said nothing of where he is, nor what's become of him,
nor nothing else."
"M. Du Bois! why, he's at my house at this very time."
"M. Du Bois at your house! well, I declare this is the surprisingest
part of all: However, I assure you, I think he might have comed for me,
as well as you, considering what I have gone through on his account;
for, to tell you the truth, it was all along of him that I met with
that accident; so I don't take it very kind of him, I promise you."
"Well, but cousin, tell me some of the particulars of this affair."
"As to the particulars, I'm sure they'd make your hair stand on end
to hear them; however, the beginning of it all was through the fault
of M. Du Bois: but, I'll assure you, he may take care of himself
in future, since he don't so much as come to see if I'm dead or
alive.-But, there, I went for him to a justice of peace, and rode
all out of the way, and did every thing in the world, and was used
worser than a dog, and all for the sake of serving of him; and now,
you see, he don't so much-well, I was a fool for my pains.-However,
he may get somebody else to be treated so another time; for, if he's
taken up every day in the week, I'll never go after him no more."
This occasioned an explanation; in the course of which Madame Duval,
to her utter amazement, heard that M. Du Bois had never left London
during her absence! nor did Mr. Branghton believe that he had ever
been to the Tower, or met with any kind of accident.
Almost instantly the whole truth of the transaction seemed to rush
upon her mind, and her wrath was inconceivably violent. She asked me
a thousand questions in a breath; but, fortunately, was too vehement
to attend to my embarrassment, which must otherwise have betrayed my
knowledge of the deceit. Revenge was her first wish; and she vowed
she would go the next morning to Justice Fielding, and inquire what
punishment she might lawfully inflict upon the Captain for his assault.
I believe we were an hour at Bishopsgate Street before poor Madame
Duval could allow any thing to be mentioned but her own story; at any
length, however, Mr. Branghton told her, that M. Du Bois, and all
his own family, were waiting for her at his house. A hackney-coach
was then called, and we proceeded to Snow Hill.
Mr. Branghton's house is small and inconvenient; though his shop,
which takes in all the ground floor, is large and commodious. I
believe I told you before, that he is a silver-smith.
We were conducted up two pairs of stairs: for the dining-room,
Mr. Branghton told us, was let. His two daughters, their brother,
M. Du Bois, and a young man, were at tea. They had waited some time
for Madame Duval, but I found they had not any expectation that I
should accompany her; and the young ladies, I believe, were rather
more surprised than pleased when I made my appearance; for they seemed
hurt that I should see their apartment. Indeed, I would willingly
have saved them that pain, had it been in my power.
The first person who saw me was M. Du Bois, "Ah, mon Dieu!" exclaimed
he, "voila Mademoiselle!"
"Goodness," cried young Branghton, "if there isn't Miss!"
"Lord, so there is!" said Miss Polly; "well, I'm sure I should never
have dreamed of Miss's coming."
"Nor I neither, I'm sure," cried Miss Branghton, "or else I would not
have been in this room to see her: I'm quite ashamed about it;-only
not thinking of seeing any body but my aunt-however, Tom, it's all
your fault; for, you know very well I wanted to borrow Mr. Smith's
room, only you were so grumpy you would not let me."
"Lord, what signifies?" said her brother; "I dare be sworn Miss has
been up two pair of stairs before now;-ha'n't you, Miss?"
I begged that I might not give them the least disturbance; and assured
them that I had not any choice in regard to what room we sat in.
"Well," said Miss Polly, "when you come next, Miss, we'll have
Mr. Smith's room: and it's a very pretty one, and only up one pair
of stairs, and nicely furnished, and every thing."
"To say the truth," said Miss Branghton, "I thought that my cousin
would not, upon any account, have come to town in the summer-time;
for it's not at all the fashion ;-so, to be sure, thinks I, she'll
stay till September, when the play-houses open."
This was my reception, which I believe you will not call a very
cordial one. Madame Duval, who, after having severely reprimanded
M. Du Bois for his negligence, was just entering upon the story of
her misfortunes, now wholly engaged the company.
M. Du Bois listened to her with a look of the utmost horror, repeatedly
lifting up his eyes and hands, and exclaiming, "O ciel! quel barbare!"
The young ladies gave her the most earnest attention; but their
brother, and the young man, kept a broad grin upon their faces during
the whole recital. She was, however, too much engaged to observe them;
but, when she mentioned having been tied in a ditch, young Branghton,
no longer able to contain himself, burst into a loud laugh, declaring
that he had never heard any thing so funny in his life! His laugh
was heartily re-echoed by his friend; the Miss Branghtons could not
resist the example; and poor Madame Duval, to her extreme amazement,
was absolutely overpowered and stopped by the violence of their mirth.
For some minutes the room seemed quite in an uproar; the rage of Madame
Duval, the astonishment of M. Du Bois, and the angry interrogatories
of Mr. Branghton, on one side; the convulsive tittering of the
sisters, and the loud laughs of the young men, on the other,
occasioned such noise, passion and confusion, that had any one
stopped an instant on the stairs, he must have concluded himself in
Bedlam. At length, however, the father brought them to order; and,
half-laughing, half-frightened, they made Madame Duval some very
awkward apologies. But she would not be prevailed upon to continue
her narrative, till they had protested they were laughing at the
Captain, and not at her. Appeased by this, she resumed her story;
which by the help of stuffing handkerchiefs into their mouths, the
young people heard with tolerable decency.
Every body agreed, that the ill-usage the Captain had given her was
actionable; and Mr. Branghton said, he was sure she might recover
what damages she pleased, since she had been put in fear of her life.
She then, with great delight, declared, that she would lose no time
in satisfying her revenge, and vowed she would not be contented with
less than half his fortune: "For though," she said, "I don't put no
value upon the money, because, Dieu merci, I ha'n't no want of it,
yet I don't wish for nothing so much as to punish that fellow; for
I'm sure, whatever's the cause of it, he owes me a great grudge,
and I know no more what it's for than you do; but he's always been
doing me one spite or another ever since I knew him."
Soon after tea, Miss Branghton took an opportunity to tell me, in a
whisper, that the young man I saw was a lover of her sister's, that
his name was Brown, and that he was a haberdasher: with many other
particulars of his circumstances and family; and then she declared
her utter aversion to the thoughts of such a match; but added, that
her sister had no manner of spirit or ambition, though, for her part,
she would ten times rather die an old maid, than marry any person
but a gentleman. "And, for that matter," added she, "I believe Polly
herself don't care much for him, only she's in such a hurry, because,
I suppose, she's a mind to be married before me; however, she's very
welcome; for, I'm sure, I don't care a pin's point whether I ever
marry at all;-it's all one to me."
Some time after this, Miss Polly contrived to tell her story. She
assured me, with much tittering, that her sister was in a great fright
lest she should be married first. "So I make her believe that I will,"
continued she; "for I dearly love to plague her a little; though,
I declare, I don't intend to have Mr. Brown in reality;-I'm sure I
don't like him half well enough,-do you, Miss?"
"It is not possible for me to judge of his merits," said I, "as I am
entirely a stranger to him."
"But what do you think of him, Miss?"
"Why, really, I-I don't know."
"But do you think him handsome? Some people reckon him to have a
good pretty person;-but I'm sure, for my part, I think he's monstrous
ugly:-don't you, Miss?"
"I am no judge,-but I think his person is very-very well."
"Very well! -Why, pray Miss," in a tone of vexation, "what fault can
you find with it?"
"O, none at all!"
"I'm sure you must be very ill-natured if you could. Now there's Biddy
says she thinks nothing of him,-but I know it's all out of spite. You
must know, Miss, it makes her as mad as can be that I should have
a lover before her; but she's so proud that nobody will court her,
and I often tell her she'll die an old maid. But the thing is, she
has taken it into her head to have a liking for Mr. Smith, as lodges
on the first floor; but, Lord, he'll never have her, for he's quite a
fine gentleman; and besides, Mr. Brown heard him say one day, that he'd
never marry as long as he lived, for he'd no opinion of matrimony."
"And did you tell your sister this?"
"O, to be sure, I told her directly; but she did not mind me; however,
if she will be a fool she must."
This extreme want of affection and good-nature increased the distaste I
already felt for these unamiable sisters; and a confidence so entirely
unsolicited and unnecessary, manifested equally their folly and their
want of decency.
I was very glad when the time for our departing arrived. Mr. Branghton
said our lodgings were in Holborn, that we might be near his house,
and neighbourly. He accompanied us to them himself.
Our rooms are large, and not inconvenient; our landlord is an hosier. I
am sure I have a thousand reasons to rejoice that I am so little known:
for my present situation is, in every respect, very unenviable; and
I would not, for the world, be seen by any acquaintance of Mrs. Mirvan.
This morning, Madame Duval, attended by all the Branghtons, actually
went to a Justice in the neighborhood, to report the Captain's ill
usage of her. I had great difficulty in excusing myself from being of
the party, which would have given me very serious concern. Indeed,
I was extremely anxious, though at home, till I heard the result of
the application, for I dread to think of the uneasiness which such
an affair would occasion the amiable Mrs. Mirvan. But, fortunately,
Madame Duval has received very little encouragement to proceed in
her design; for she has been informed, that, as she neither heard
the voice, nor saw the face of the person suspected, she will find
difficulty to cast him upon conjecture, and will have but little
probability of gaining her cause, unless she can procure witnesses
of the transaction. Mr. Branghton, therefore, who has considered all
the circumstances of the affair, is of the opinion; the lawsuit will
not only be expensive, but tedious and hazardous, and has advised
against it. Madame Duval, though very unwillingly, has acquiesced
in his decision; but vows, that if she ever is so affronted again,
she will be revenged, even if she ruins herself. I am extremely glad
that this ridiculous adventure seems now likely to end without more
serious consequences.
Adieu, my dearest Sir. My direction is at Mr. Dawkin's, a hosier in
High Holborn.