THE STING OF HYPOCRISY
Meanwhile Cap'n Jonah was at the Shell Road store wishing heartily that
he did not have to go home.
Playing a part was already beginning to pall upon the worthy captain.
It was no small satisfaction he had in "foolin' them Pettys"; but the
effect of his hypocrisy, he found, was to be more far-reaching than he
supposed.
He had not foreseen Sarah Petty's desire to show him off before the
family. He had not forecast in any degree how the story of his wealth
would spread, and grow, and become a Frankenstein to pursue him.
It was bad enough at the store to have the loungers remark slyly upon
his fortune and hint their curiosity as to how he had obtained it.
None doubted the veracity of Tom Petty's tale. Even Milt Baker, the
Shell Road humorist, was too much awed by the existence of so great
a property in the neighborhood to invent any quips upon the subject.
There is a feeling of reverence born in most Cape Codders for money.
For one reason, it is so hard to get!
Cap'n Jonah had Abraham Silt at his back while he was in the store, and
if the storekeeper saw him getting cornered he promptly came to the
rescue. But to face all these people from Harwich, and alone, was going
to be something of a job, and Cap'n Jonah dreaded it.
He felt as though Joe Helmford's defection, too, was a personal
loss. That bright young man had often acted in a way to switch the
conversation from personal matters when Cap'n Jonah was harassed by the
Petty family.
Had Helmford not left the Petty house Cap'n Jonah would have considered
taking the young man into his confidence. Cap'n Abe had asked him how
close to the bare bones of truth he could trim his ship; but Cap'n
Jonah had found it an ungracious task to befool his friends as well as
those for whom he felt no sympathy whatever.
Of course, Pearl had to be kept in ignorance of the truth. The
transparency of the girl's character precluded his taking her into his
confidence. And the old captain saw, as time passed, that the fewer
people who knew his secret the better his chance of carrying on the
play.
What the end would be, Cap'n Jonah dared not meditate upon. He had
forced the Pettys to mend their treatment of Pearl. But he really had
not foreseen all the change the story of his hypothetical fortune
would make in his own affairs.
Sarah Petty's new tack amazed Cap'n Jonah. He had expected more
consideration at her hands as the result of the conspiracy; but all
this that was going on in the Petty household he certainly had not
imagined.
"Whatever!" he said privately to the storekeeper. "I'm gettin' things
so soft that I dunno what to do about it. They'll be smotherin' me to
death with their soft-soapin' ways."
"Take it easy while you can," Cap'n Abe advised. "This is a gre't world
if you don't git cold feet, as the feller said. You jest let 'em git
it fixed in their minds that you are well wuth catering to. They'll
never find out the truth if you don't tell 'em. Mr. Creavy, over to the
bank, will never say a word. I know _him_. An' of course you can trust
'Liphalet an' me to keep our 'tater-traps shet."
"Whatever! Yes. That's all right," muttered Cap'n Jonah. "But what's
goin' to happen, I want to know when my money does run out?"
This was a contingency that was ever in Cap'n Jonah's mind. Sarah Petty
had not hinted as yet at any increase in his board despite his change
of quarters; but the drain of twenty-two and a half dollars monthly was
not to be overlooked, considering Cap'n Jonah's actual resources.
He could not on this day postpone his return home past the dinner
hour. He must meet the visitors, whether or no; so he finally started
up the road. Here came 'Liphalet Truitt, basket on arm, and his face as
sour as a lime.
"Ahoy, Truitt!" hailed the captain. "What did you see of that crowd at
the Pettys? That gang of Orrin's rel'tives from Harwich boarded 'em by
this time, I guess?"
"I seen a couple autos go by," said 'Liphalet ungraciously. "They
turned up at the Pettys."
"Do you know, Truitt," said Cap'n Jonah, ignoring the other's ill-humor
and drawing near to speak confidentially. "Do you know, this here
imaginary fortune is gettin 'on my nerves? That's what! A feller ought
to be a mighty good actor to play up to it."
"Uh-huh!" grunted 'Liphalet.
"Makes a feller wish he re'lly did have a fortune, at that," added
Cap'n Jonah, wistfully. "When a feller's supposed to have money things
is purty soft for him. I sartain sure wish I could git a re'l fortune
as easy as we made this one up."
"Why don't ye marry a fortune?" snarled 'Liphalet with sudden venom.
"Heh?" ejaculated the startled captain.
"There's them with plenty money that might have ye--if ye asked,"
pursued 'Liphalet. "Ye wouldn't put it past ye, ye say, to marry for
what cash the woman had."
"Whatever!" murmured Cap'n Jonah, and he involuntarily stood aside as
the strangely wrathful Mr. Truitt marched on. Cap'n Jonah stared after
his friend in amazement. "Whatever in the world has laid hold upon Life
Truitt?" he gasped.
"Jest as happy an' pleasant as a man-eating shark," went on the amazed
captain. "And who does he want I should marry--Miss Sue? Why! I was
calc'latin'----"
He did not finish the audible expression of his thoughts, but went on
up the road shaking his head in a very thoughtful mood. For once Cap'n
Jonah's mind was not fixed upon his own fortunes.
The extension table was stretched clear across the Petty kitchen.
Orrin's back was so close to the door leading to the porch that the
door could scarcely be opened, while Sarah was so far away from him at
the other end of the table that her frowns and half-audible admonitions
for once made no impression upon her husband.
Between the two, along both sides of the table, were ranged the
visitors and Tom and Cap'n Jonah. Sarah was rather glad for the moment
that Helmford had gone. The table was more than crowded, and the
guests' elbows clashed as they plied knives and forks. Pearl waited on
them, cheerfully refusing to sit down till all were plentifully served.
Sarah Petty was a careful housewife, and Orrin was as close as his
own shirt. But when they set out to entertain the Family they did it
right--no two ways about it! The long table was fairly burdened with
things to eat.
Solon was a master hand at such times as this. He he-hawed his great,
political laugh all through the meal, and declared more than once that
he was "a good table finisher--that was his trade," accepting a third
helping of baked fresh ham and "all the fixin's" to prove his statement.
Enoch tried to follow the set of his cousin's example, and was
particularly cordial to Cap'n Jonah. "They tell me you calc'late to
settle down here for good, Cap'n Hand?" he said insinuatingly.
"As long as Sarah will have me," replied Cap'n Jonah, briefly.
"Haw! haw!" exploded Solon. "I bet after this taste of Sarah's cookin'
you couldn't chase him away with a club. Hey, Cap'n Hand?"
Sarah preened, accepting the flattery. Cap'n Jonah was uncomfortable.
He was polite to the women, and he tried to speak when spoken to by the
men; but he gained at that meal a reputation for silence only equaled
by 'Poley and Perse Heath themselves.
Solon drew him like a badger from his hole, and Cap'n Jonah came to the
surface just as much against his will as does that obstinate beast.
"Le's see," said Solon, "you found chances of turning a penny out there
in the East such as we humdrum stay-at-homes never see, I suppose,
Captain? I knew a man once in your line that made a mint of money
shanghaiing coolies for the guano islands off Chile. You never dipped
into that trade, did you?"
"No. Never did," said Cap'n Jonah emphatically.
"They do say, too, that opium smuggling pays big in Chinese waters."
"I've heard tell," bit off the old mariner.
"And there's what they call the Chinese passenger trade--runnin' them
laundrymen into 'Frisco or Vancouver, when the immigrant inspectors
ain't lookin'. Know anything about that, Captain?"
"Only what you tell me," barked Cap'n Jonah, his eyebrows bristling.
"I expect you got your money in quieter ways, Cap'n Hand," put in Enoch
Petty, observing that his cousin's semi-humorous sallies were not taken
in good part.
"I got my money," began Cap'n Jonah in some heat. "I got my money----"
He hesitated, then simmered down to: "Wal, I got it as I got it.
Whatever!"
He did not possess Cap'n Abe Silt's imagination. He could not entertain
these curious people with an apocryphal history of the gathering of his
supposed treasure. And perhaps his very inability to explain made his
fortune seem the more real to them all.
Sarah, too, came to his rescue. She could not see Uncle Jonah
disturbed. How careful she now was for the comfort of "the dear old
soul!" It was really remarkable, as Aunt 'Poley said to the other
visiting aunts, to see how devoted Sarah was to her last remaining
blood-relative.
"Let us hope he'll pay her out right, for it," whispered Mrs. Enoch
Petty, the single doubting member of the tribe.
Sarah's regard for Cap'n Jonah's comfort was fairly overpowering. She
saw to it that tasty bits were heaped upon his plate and that his
coffee cup was kept filled. At dessert time it was:
"Pearly! don't forget to pass the cake again to Uncle Jonah. And that
mock cherry pie I made deep special for him, 'cause he likes it so.
Taste that beach plum sass, Uncle Jonah. I know you'll like it. Why!
you ain't et more'n enough to keep a sand-piper alive."
"Whatever!" remonstrated the master mariner. "You're killin' me with
kindness, Sarah."
And he could have said nothing which would have more thoroughly
gratified Sarah Petty. "The Family" had heard his commendation with
their own ears.
Back in his own room he whispered to Pearl, who attended him at Sarah's
behest with hot water, lemon, sugar, and a noggin of rum--a real
holiday treat: "Whatever! I might's well be out o' Barnum's show, I've
been exhibited so much. Nex' thing, Sarah Petty'll want me to roll
over and bark at the word of command. I dunno but I could stand her
meannesses better than I can her good will."
He managed to escape from time to time to the sanctum of the front
room. They did not follow him. But they invited him to join the general
company on all manner of pretexts.
The womenfolk, as he declared, tried to make a fool of him, while the
men endeavored to pump him dry regarding his adventures in the far
East, hoping thereby to get a line on his method of amassing a fortune
of a hundred thousand dollars.
He could see, too, that he was going to be a mark for all local
charities and objects of need. Mrs. Enoch Petty, who was a member of
all the women's clubs and associations there were on the Cape, tried
on several occasions to get a contribution from Cap'n Jonah for one or
another of the causes she patronized.
But Sarah Petty, like Orrin with the men visitors, guarded Uncle
Jonah's pocket with vigilance. There was no reason that she could see
why the old mariner's fortune should be scattered abroad on charities,
suffrage clubs, orphanages, or other so-called worthy causes.
"Charity begins at home," was Sarah Petty's fixed belief, and as far
as she was concerned she proposed to see that it stayed there.
The relief to Cap'n Jonah, at least, was great when the visit of the
Harwich folk came to an end on Monday. He accepted four separate and
privately given invitations to visit the several families at his
leisure, with the mental reservation that he would do so only when he
was in that state which he denominated "soft-headed."
"I've weathered Sarah and Orrin, both when they was down on me and now
that they seem to have had a change of heart. They air bad enough, I do
allow," he said to Cap'n Abe. "But I want to tell you right now, the
rest of the Petty family as fur as I've sampled it, runs wuss towards
the bottom of the cask.
"Solon Petty never got to the State Legislature because of his brains,
that's sure. Enoch Petty would rob a blind man, I do believe. And as
for them two old billygoats, Apollo and Perseus Heath, they'd drive a
man to strong drink an' no mistake."
He was too polite to state his opinion of the women of the Harwich
party. He hinted strongly, however, that he more firmly believed than
heretofore that wives were given to men as punishment for their sins.
"All but my own woman," he added with reverence. "She was a good
one--an' she didn't live long after we was married. I dunno but short
sweet'nin' is the best. We wasn't long enough together to git on one
another's nerves."
"Why," said Cap'n Abe, comfortably, "I dunno but you air too harsh on
'em, Cap'n Hand. You might easy find a woman at your age that would
make you a comfort'ble home. And if she had a bit of prop'ty, like the
Doc's sister----"
"Why ain't you tried it?" demanded the suspicious Cap'n Jonah.
"Oh! Wal! _Me?_" said Cap'n Abe, lowering his voice and casting a
quick glance over his shoulder to make sure that Betty Gallup, his
housekeeper, was not in the offing. "Ye see, I'm fretted enough by the
female sect as 'tis. I wouldn't want one under foot day _an'_ night."
"I guess," returned Cap'n Jonah, "your opinion an' mine, on the women,
is purty much of a muchness. Whatever!"