Amhurst wanted to get married.
But then an invisible ingenue
moved in on his wedding day....
A TIME-TRAVEL TALE THAT
TAKES TIME-OUT FOR LAUGHTER.
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Fantastic Universe June-July 1953.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
Eddie Amhurst watched the scissors get up from the dresser and march
across the room. If they had marched on the floor it would have been
bad enough--but not this bad. They marched across the air of the
bedroom, one thin metal leg after the other, to where Eddie was sitting
on the edge of the bed in his underwear.
They went _snip, snip_--once, twice, rapidly. Then they marched again
across the air of the room and plunked down on the dresser.
In his right hand Eddie held a silky piece of black cloth. In his left
hand he held a similar item. On the floor at his feet were two other
pieces of black cloth. If you glued the sections together you'd have a
pair of black silk socks, size twelve. They were so new that you could
still see where the paper telling the brand-name and the size clung to
one of them.
But they weren't much good as socks anymore. In his hands Eddie held
what could have been a pair of black-silk spats except that no one
wore black-silk spats. On the floor at his feet were two black-silk
fingerless gloves.
"Hey, George!" Eddie called. "George, come here quick."
George ran in from the bathroom, shaving-soap still on one side of his
face. He looked at Eddie and the two pieces of black silk in Eddie's
hands. He said, "What the hell did you do that for?"
"Me? I didn't do anything."
"Anyone can see that you went to the dresser, got the scissors, cut
your socks in half, then put the scissors back on the dresser. What I
want to know is why. _Why?_"
"I didn't," Eddie said lamely. Then he told George how the scissors had
got up, marched across the room, and cut his socks.
"Yeah," said George. "Right away. Take it easy, kid. I know you're
about to be married. I know you're nervous. But relax. Just take it
easy--calm down."
"Hah!" said Eddie. "_Hah!_"
"What's so funny?"
"I can prove to you that I didn't get up, take the scissors and cut my
socks. I can prove it, that's what."
George told him to go ahead.
"I just took a shower, right?"
"Right."
"I always powder my feet after a shower, right?"
"Howinhell should I know?"