Time passed, and I had nearly forgotten Clay and his promises, when one
day a messenger came to me to inform me that my presence was desired in
the Minister’s office. Although this was an unusual occurrence, I was
not much surprised. I had been called by ministers before for causes of
the slightest. A minister is a little tin god who calls whom he likes,
when he likes. Even men of Great Business hasten to appear when he says
“Come.” I was not prepared, therefore, for any new move, nor did I
expect to be reprimanded by such a mighty personage. I thought I might
be asked to answer some simple questions or be instructed to attend
to some petty office such as replacing some favoured one who had been
given leave of absence. Ministers condescend to interest themselves in
small things sometimes. Judge, then, of my astonishment on entering the
minister’s office, when he received me in his very smoothest manner. I
was positively frightened.
“Ah! good morning, Mr. Wesblock,” he said, rising and offering me his
plump but firm hand. “Sit down.”
I sat. My face, no doubt, showed my astonishment, for he laughed softly.
“Mr. Wesblock,” said my Minister, still smiling, “we have met before, I
think, eh?”
“We have, sir,” I said, “but I hardly think you remember it.”
“I remember it very well,” he said. “You see our meeting was an
incident too good to be kept, so your friend Mr. Clay has told it to
several of my friends, through whom it comes to me.” And he again
laughed softly at my evident embarrassment. I was thunderstruck.
“I am very sorry, Mr. Minister,” I stammered; “Mr. Clay has been
very unkind in repeating what I told him. I assure you there was no
malicious intention on my part.”
“Tut, tut,” said the Minister, “don’t apologise. You acted wisely, and
Clay was not unkind. The mistake was mine.”
“I am very sorry;” I began again lamely.
“No necessity to be sorry,” said he. “I have a sense of humour, and
quite understand how the whole thing came about. Clay has told me
everything.”
“I am obliged to Mr. Clay,” I said, rising from my chair with as much
dignity as I could command. I was very uncomfortable, and hoped the
roasting was over.
“Pray sit down,” said the Minister. “I wish to talk to you.”
Again I sat.
“I understand,” he said, “that you do not like pot holes.”
“Not particularly,” I replied, wondering what was coming next.
“You consider yourself above pot holes?” he asked.
“I admit the charge,” I said.
“Very good,” said the Minister. “You do not desire to leave the
Service, Mr. Clay tells me.”
“Mr. Clay has also told you why, I suppose,” I replied, beginning to
have a hazy idea that all was well.
“Yes,” replied he, “and I have looked into your case. You have a good
record for fifteen years.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“I will not prolong your discomfort,” said he. “I propose to increase
your responsibilities and your salary. You may thank our accidental
meeting and Mr. Clay for this.”
I expressed my gratefulness as well as I could and left the minister’s
office the most dazed Civil servant that ever existed. My exit amused
the Minister greatly. He shook me by the hand once more and wished me
well, and as the door closed behind me I could hear his soft laugh. His
promise was promptly carried out, and I left pot holes for ever shortly
after my memorable visit to his office. It was well for me that he
was prompt in this, for before many months had passed a measure which
seemed good to the Government seemed bad to the people, and my Minister
went down in the overthrow.
* * * * *
Here I close my tale; my further doings would be an entirely different
story. I was anchored for life with a future before me of comparative
comfort as well assured as can be expected in the affairs of humanity.
I close my memoirs at the age of fifty, because I was a boy till then,
but no longer. I matured so late in life that my boyhood lingered
beyond its time. I have said comparatively little about the Civil
Service. I would have said more had I been able to use names and
recent incidents bringing my history up to date. But being forced to
generalise and use fictitious names, I have had to be content with
giving a mere sketch of my experience.
No one can understand the Civil Service unless he has lived in it
for a long period of years and can look backward. I see it now as a
clumsy, powerful machine guided by unskilled hands; or a great foolish,
good-natured, long-suffering giant allowing himself to be bullied by
pygmies—short-sighted, self-seeking, ignorant and stubborn pygmies; or,
let us say, little strutting bantams whose lives are only a few days
long. But in that brief tenure, they never tire of harrying and baiting
the great giant who will surely walk on all their little graves.
The Civil Service suffers and will suffer, for many years to come, from
the dead weight of the human culls and misfits dumped into it by the
official and professional politician. It is really a great deal better
than might be expected, considering the handicap under which it does a
great work. To say that it is corrupt or inefficient, as if it were the
actual cause of its own failings and shortcomings, is foolish. It is
exactly what politicians have made it, and the politician in his turn
is the exact logical product of his time. A virtuous and honest people
produces virtuous and upright politicians; upright politicians make a
clean and efficient Civil Service. The failings of the Civil Service
are the failings of the people for whom it works. In short, a country
has the government it deserves to have, and what the government is the
Civil Service is.
Now, to end the chronicle, if I have any readers, I am quite aware that
the large majority of them will declare my tale to be the story of a
failure. But it is not so. What is success? I reply that I do not know.
It is one thing to one man and another to another. And even if the
world consider me as a failure, it must recognise that I failed in more
things than most men because I tried more things. And if the output of
energy is the measure of a man, these failures were only episodes of a
struggle toward a more human ideal of life.
I had a many-sided character to satisfy. I desired all things which
seemed good to me: a happy home, love, beautiful children, music,
literature, and the stage. I have been great in nothing; yet have I
tasted all things and partly satisfied all my cravings. This book is
one of my failures, but one, I persist, that makes for human experience.
Since the days of which I tell dire things have happened to me. I have
seen my poor old father, who loved me well, fall into premature senile
decay and die leaving my dear mother to make the short end of the road
alone. I have seen beguiling, attractive depravity take away from me
the little girl who was born at the mill, marry her, break her heart,
and kill her. On the other hand, I have seen my son grow up and make
a man of himself, marry the right woman (who is so rarely found), and
prosper. I have seen my Third Beloved grow in beauty and character and
mate with a man of heart and mind. All these things have I seen; and my
grand-children and I have kept One Beloved at our side; and last, but
by no means least, life has spared me Muriel; and the world seems good.
Therefore, write me not down a failure.
THE TEMPLE PRESS, PRINTERS, LETCHWORTH
Transcriber’s Notes
pg 15 Changed: cruelly on the slighest pretext
to: cruelly on the slightest pretext
pg 29 Changed: playlet with an entirely male caste
to: playlet with an entirely male cast
pg 51 Changed: which happened one moonlight night
to: which happened one moonlit night
pg 61 Changed: But with perseverence, patience and time
to: But with perseverance, patience and time
pg 82 Changed: with much love to aid the deliverence
to: with much love to aid the deliverance
pg 100 Changed: no knowledge of its pecularities
to: no knowledge of its peculiarities
pg 111 Changed: glad to possess, except perhaps perseverence
to: glad to possess, except perhaps perseverance
pg 115 Changed: appeared to be kneeding something
to: appeared to be kneading something
pg 119 Changed: promotors would get a great deal
to: promoters would get a great deal
pg 162 Changed: and with much patience and peseverence
to: and with much patience and perseverance