SCENE VII.--_The Drawing-room. It is after luncheon._ Mrs.
TOOVEY _is sitting knitting_.
_Mr. Toovey_ (_entering, in a frock-coat, carrying a tall hat_).
Er--CORNELIA, my love, you don't happen to know where the--the
latchkey is kept, do you?
_Mrs. Toovey._ The latchkey, THEOPHILUS! One has never been required
in this house _yet_. What can you possibly want with a latchkey?
_Mr. Toov._ (_to himself_). These performances go on till a somewhat
advanced hour, I've no doubt, and I might feel it my duty to stay
as long as---- (_Aloud._) I--I only thought it would save PH[OE]BE
sitting up for me, my dear.
_Mrs. Toov._ You need not trouble yourself about that, THEOPHILUS. I
will sit up for you, if necessary.
_Mr. Toov._ (_quaking_). But you forget your Zenana Mission, my love;
you will be out yourself this evening!
_Mrs. Toov._ (_severely_). I shall be back by a reasonable hour,
Pa,--and so will _you_, I should hope.
_Mr. Toov._ I hope so, my love, I'm sure, but--but I may have a good
deal to say to CHARLES, you know.
_Mrs. Toov._ (_to herself_). There's some mystery about that wretched
boy, I'm certain. If I could only find out what was in that letter. I
wonder if it's in Pa's pocket--I'll soon see. (_Aloud._) Turn round,
Pa. Ah, I _thought_ as much; one of your coat-tail buttons is as
nearly off as it can be!
_Mr. Toov._ (_innocently_). Dear me! My Sunday coat, too. I never
observed it. Could you just fasten it on a little more securely?
[Illustration: "Eldorado Palace of Varieties. Admit Mr. Toovey and
Party to Box C. This portion to be retained."]
_Mrs. Toov._ If you take off your coat. I can't do it with you
prancing about in front of me, Pa. (_Mr. T. takes off his coat._)
Now, I can't have you in my drawing-room in your shirtsleeves--suppose
somebody called! Go into your study and wait there till I've done.
(_Mr. T. departs submissively._) Now if the letter isn't in one of
these pockets, it must be in---- (_She discovers the envelope._) There
it is. _Now_ I shall know what CHARLES---- I'm sure his poor dear
mother would wish to be informed. (_She opens the letter._) "Eldorado
Palace of Varieties. Admit Mr. TOOVEY and party to Box C. This portion
to be retained." (_She tears off a perforated slip._) I _will_ retain
it! So THEOPHILUS has been deceiving me--_this_ is his business with
CHARLES! _This_ is why he kept that programme! And he's allowing
himself to be misled by his own nephew! They're going to this
music-hall to-night, together! He shall _not_ go--never while I--stop,
let me think--yes, he _shall_ go--he shall fill up the measure of his
iniquity, little dreaming that I have the clear proof of his deceit!
(_She thrusts the slip she has torn off into her workbox, and replaces
the envelope with the remainder of the order in the pocket._) There.
He won't notice that anything is missing. He's coming back. I must
control myself, or he will be on his guard.
[_She pretends to secure the button with unsteady fingers._
_Mr. Toov._ (_entering_). CORNELIA, my love, don't trouble to do more
than is absolutely necessary to keep the button secure--because I'm
rather in a hurry. It doesn't matter, so long as it looks respectable!
_Mrs. Toov._ (_with an effort to restrain her feelings_). I daresay it
is quite respectable enough, Pa, for where you are going.
_Mr. Toov._ Quite, indeed, my dear. But it would never have done to go
and call on CHARLES with a button off the back of my coat--no, no. It
was fortunate you noticed it in time, my love.
_Mrs. Toov._ I hope it will prove so, THEOPHILUS. (_To herself._) And
this monster of duplicity is Pa! Oh, I wish I could tell him what I
thought of him, but not yet--we will have our reckoning later!
_Mr. Toov._ (_after putting on his coat_). Then I think I must be
going. Any message I can take to CHARLES?
_Mrs. Toov._ Yes, tell him that I trust he will profit by his good
Uncle's example, and that I expect him to dinner on Monday. I may
require to have a serious talk with him myself, if your account of
this evening is not perfectly satisfactory.
_Mr. Toov._ I'll tell him, my love, but there's no reason to make
yourself uneasy about CHARLES--he'll behave himself--he'll behave
himself. (_To himself, as he goes out._) I must go and see CHARLES
now. Oh dear, I do feel so apprehensive about this visit to the
Eldorado.--If I could put it off.--But I can't continue to hold those
shares without some knowledge---- And Mr. CURPHEW made such a point of
my going. No, I must go. I--I don't see how I can get out of it!
_Mrs. Toov._ (_alone_). There he goes, looking so meek and lamblike!
Who would suspect, to see him, that that black coat of his was
buttoned round a whited sepulchre? Oh, Pa, Pa! That after all these
years of blameless life you should suddenly be seized with a
depraved desire for unhallowed amusement like this! While I am at
the CUMBERBATCHES, engaged in discussing the affairs of the Zenana
Mission, you and CHARLES will be---- Stop. How do I know he is going
with CHARLES at all? If he is capable of deceiving me in one respect,
why not in all? (_She takes out the slip and looks at it._) Mr. TOOVEY
and party! _What_ party? May not Pa have been leading a--a double life
all these years for anything I can tell? He is going to the Eldorado
to-night with _somebody_--that's clear. Who is it? I shall never be
easy till I know. And why should I not? There's the meeting, though.
I might have a headache. Yes, that will do. (_She goes to her
writing-table._) No, I won't write. I can make some excuse to ELIZA
when I see her. And instead of going to the CUMBERBATCHES this
evening, I can easily slip up to Waterloo and ask my way to this
place. There will be no difficulty in that. Yes, I will go, whatever
it costs me. And when Pa goes into this Box C of his, he will find his
"party" is larger than he expected!