you won’t get from me for an awful long time like next summer. If you
are thinking this minute I forgot your present that is not the true
but despare and most wear out my brains that is the true and now what
looks like no gift.
I was going to buy you a pretty with the money you sent for a swetter
but the Principal said in chapel to take the money of your parents
to buy them gifts what love in that? Give them what costs you effort
and self denial. And she talked more to say never give debty presents
just because you owe them or hopeful presents to get one back. Dolly
raised her hand and asked “What if somebody needs a present which
they don’t want?” The girls giggled to guess she meant Lizzie. The
Principal replied “Decide that yourself with love and tact. Young
ladies you are dismissed to your classrooms.”
Dolly says love and tact and the Principal and a quarter which fell
heads up are all on her side to give Lizzie to her Uncle and Aunt at
the tree. She made a poem for her parents out of her own poetry but
I cannot poet for you Mother because it must fall on one out of the
sky or its no good. A musical girl dedycated her parents many staffs
full of tunes but I could only make you some scales what are notes
upstairs and downstairs and that would be no present. A very smart
girl in lessons was to give her prize if earned which made me worse
despare for many girls shorter in their skirts are longer than me in
their grades which must put shame on you and the prize for spelling
is past my hope so how could I think to earn a prize except for
stupid and faults?
Friday was the last day of this school turn, and the Principal gave
out the prizes with many cheers from all and her of smartness earned
the one for grammar which was a poetry book. At last the Principal
said there was one more prize to decide by vote of all the girls
which pupil had got most better in manners by trying hard. O Mother
that prize was given to me and not by fair because no other girl here
was ever orfun so I had the head start in backness. I was so scared I
almost could not hold out my hand and to walk back to my seat I did
not know where it stood with the Eggsloosifs to clap clap their hands
so much. By and by when I opened the package the Principal asked me
why I look so disapointed. I answered “It is very beautiful and never
did I earn it but what can my Mother make with a Girl’s Memory Book
of School for a Christmas present?” She explained that if I wrote it
full of memorys for you Mother it would be a piece of real daughter
present same as Dolly’s and the musical girl’s and her of smartness.
But it is my grief and woe you will not get it in time for Christmas
because I cannot write in it memorys that are not to happen yet but
must wait till they happen.
I have decided to give away my red silk dress because my Christmas
conshent says “Giovanna you got such lots and that orfun so little.”
O my little darling watch! It now ticks “You got to stop, you got to
stop” because the electric will be off in one minute and so goodnight
Darling Mother from little watch and me.
Giovanna.
* * * * *
_Mother of my Merry Christmas Heart_,--
The candles are just blown out on the orfun tree and I took a pink
one not much burnt to put in the teeny silver candlestick Dolly gave
me so I can write to you after electric is off. I believe this candle
likes to burn itself up for that because it waves round its little
flame as if to speak “Giovanna remember me to your Mother.”
The Eggsloosifs all rushed back today quick as possible after their
deserts to dress themselves orfun style. Such laughs never were heard
in the real kind. Then came the jenuine orfuns and O the looks on
them to behold the immitashun orfuns! That orfun which usto make tall
her pompydoor with the maps out of her geography said if she had
known she was invited just to other sylum she never woulda come.
The Eggsloosifs took each one her orfun to her room and dressed her
all sweet and pretty and stylish like a girl of richness with two
parents. One orfun said to her Eggsloosif “I thank you but keep this
dress to your own self because you look worse poor than me.” And the
father of that Eggsloosif is a 1000000air.
Mine which was her of big mouth and little sense all times touched
the red silk with her finger and repeated “My red dress, my red
dress” like my watch ticks and I was glad to see her love it that
hard.
Dolly’s Lizzie turned not pretty but so Dolly named her quaint and
said that was more distinggay. Lizzie asked “Will my new Mama like me
better in this dress?” And Dolly kissed her and pinned a card on her
“Merry Christmas to dear Aunt Winnyfred and Uncle John from Dolly.”
But Lizzie never saw Dolly wring her hands to me on the quiet to show
what scares she got on herself.
Mother when all was finished the orfuns made immitashun Eggsloosifs
like the Eggsloosifs made immitashun orfuns--I guess because the
Eggsloosifs in dress of poorness acted like fixed grand for a party
and the orfuns could not forget so quick their scroocht down
feelings even in dress of richness.
Next was the turkey dinner with the orfuns in the chairs and the
Eggsloosifs to act like maids. All their swallows could work fine and
they were very satisfied except Lizzie teased to sit between her Mama
and Papa but Dolly told her they were not yet come.
After turkey dinner all went to the big hall of the Christmas tree
and there stayed the parents and relayshuns and whichevers. Dolly
looked so pityfull for her feelings on Lizzie a kind old man thought
she was a jenuine and tried to give her a dollar in her hand but she
explaned no thank you.
The janitor played he was Santa Claus and passed the presents and O
the joy and surprise of those orfuns most paralized them. I gave mine
a doll because her sense is younger than she is and it seemed as if
she couldn’t hug it enough and I was glad.
But poor little Lizzie looked like weeps and said to Dolly “Where
is my Mama and Papa like you promised?” My chum led her pretty near
to her Uncle and Aunt where they sat and whispered to Lizzie which
they were and ran to hide behind the tree. Lizzie stept close and
close till Uncle John said “Whose little girl are you?” and she
answered “I am yours, Papa,” and the surprise that Uncle had on him
was wonderful. Aunt Winnyfred spoke “What nonsents! Run to your Mama,
child,” but she answered “You are my Mama.”
Uncle John looked on her card and exclaimed “O that Dolly!” Aunt
Winnyfred explaned to Lizzie how she did not want a little girl and
all was mistake.
Lizzie got that kind of disapoint which hurts so bad you don’t cry
the first minute and they thought she was satisfied but she fell
herself down on the floor and her grief and woe were dreadful and she
all times talked in her cry “O my Papa don’t want me! O my Mama don’t
want me!”
Dolly ran to comfort her but she would take no comfort. Aunt
Winnyfred stood up and spoke, “Let us go! this is very painful! Dolly
you must be punished!” But Uncle John answered “Why not take her
along and look her over? Anyway she said first she was mine.” Aunt
Winnyfred talked back “Just because you sat on that side so she came
first to you.” So Uncle John carried her but Aunt Winnyfred held her
hand.
The little candle is most gone and so is my first merry Christmas
but I got plenty of merryness this time to catch up on all I missed
before.
O Mother what a long chain you started by your goodness to me. The
Eggsloosifs tied some more to that chain by this wonderful surprise
on the sylum; Aunt Winnyfred and Uncle John made another piece to
adopt Lizzie. And I never did a thing to make it longer but perhaps I
can some day. That is my wish.
I have just one more minute to say Merry Christmas so with that
I will stop my letter. Merry Christmas, Mother! Merry Christmas,
Isabella! Merry Christmas, orfuns! Merry Christmas, Eggsloosifs!
Merry Christmas, all the people in the big world! Merry Christmas,
dear God up in heaven!
Giovanna.
GIOVANNA’S ITALIAN RENAISSANCE
_Mother of my Italian heart_,--
Such wonderful bran news I got today for you and me to be glad
about--the teacher spoke it right out to all the class of geography.
She said that Dago is just the disrespeckfull for Italian and she
names Italians grand and wonderful with songs in their throats and
pictures in their eyes and hands to make statyous. And Mr. Columbus
who discovered America was a Dago! So Americans needn’t feel set up
over us because where would they be this minute if he never had?
Besides they are all named after Mr. Amerigo, another Italian man who
put them first on any map or they must have got omitted out of the
geography and then think how mortifide they would have felt!
So Mother, it is not mean for me to be Dago and need not put shame on
you as I always supposed it must indeed. It was my guess to myself
you had hopes to erase all my Dago part in this school except my
looks which are very brunetty and no powder can help that because
I tried and it showed on top of my brownness like chalk on the
blackboard and the Principal said “Giovanna, go wash your face; I did
not believe you were that silly kind of girl.” So I cried and washed
hard and threw away that powder box awful quick but explained not to
the Principal because it would have been like telling a secret of
yours and mine, Mother, to explain and I never did. Now you don’t
need powder to stay on me any more.
O Mother, my proudness is up to the top of the highest mountain
in the red atlas! I wish I could go and tell all the folks in
our tenement that they are no more Ginneys but very grand and
respecktable Italians and must have no shame on themselves for that
but all glad and hawty.
I had thoughts of asking you to change my name to Jane but now I
rejoyce to be
Your Italian daughter,
Giovanna.
* * * * *
_Mother of my Dago heart_,--
There was a reception in this school today very grand from three
to five. O the surprise that happened on me right in the middle of
this reception! If I gave you 1,000,000 guesses and 3 more you could
not tell who came and not invited, for how could I think to invite
rellytives never seen in my long life and most forgotten and also
believed by me to stay in Italy shaped like a rubber boot and washed
by many seas?
I was sitting some behind a screen and the music talked of you and
my love as I never can write in my letters because it would take
words I do not know. I wore my new pink silk which is that kind to
try to stick to my fingers as if it says it likes to be my dress and
the best beautiful sign of your love.
Dolly came and pulled me by the hand to the window quick as we could
go for the many ladies not to step our feet on their elegant trains.
There stayed Luigi on his wagon full of oranges and bananas. An
Italian woman sat by him not his wife for I know her looks and a girl
about my bigness. Down in front of the seat was a boy not so big and
another girl not so big as the boy and another girl with curls not so
big as that girl and a baby in the Italian woman’s lap which she gave
Luigi to hold while she clum out and pulled down all the rest except
the boy who jumped himself off and stufft two bananas in his shirt
not seen by Luigi. Then Luigi pointed with his whip to the door of
our school and drove away very quick like he still had scares on that
teacher.
Wrinkeldy and poor was the Italian lady with a little square shawl
on her head. The girl of my bigness was dressed pretty but curyous.
Her black velvet corset was on top of her white waist. She wore a red
skirt and an apron crost by many stripes. The toes of all the littler
ones looked out of their shoes and no wraps on their thinness. I had
a big sorry for them in my heart.
Then Dolly was called by her Mother to play a piece on the piano for
some person in the music room.
Very soon that family off Luigi’s wagon stood in our hall and all
stared at them like they were brickyards and not people. I had no
dream who they could be, but Dago must ever go to Dago so I went.
When I walked close to her of the wrinkeldy face and little shawl,
she screecht “Giovanna! Mia cara! Mia cara!” and hugged me long long
in her arms and many times kissed my cheeks and hugged me more and
more and tears ran down in her wrinkles.
I let her hug and kiss me, Mother, but I shook and shook and wished
not to be so much kissed with all to stare and stare as they done.
Nobody hugs like that in receptions which are not any good form place
for jenuine feelings like hers but just touch your fingers and talk
politeness. The feelings that Italian lady had on me were terrible
and I could not understand what for with this the first time I ever
walked in her sight.
By and by she calmed off a teeny bit and held my face with her hands
and looked and looked and said she was my Aunt Maddalena.
I was embearest dreadful and sorry to make her such dizzypoint but I
begged her please excuse me not to be her niece and her not to be my
Aunt Maddalena.
The girl of my bigness had eyes black and looks proud like anything.
She spoke American but slow and funny and full of try as if her
tongue could just walk and not run.
“Why notta your Aunt?”
I answered “It is the true that my Mama who died had a sister named
Maddalena and she usto tell me how they cried and hugged much when my
Mama started for America in the big ship, but this lady never can be
my Aunt.”
That girl asked again, “Why notta your Aunt?”
I explained just like my Mama that died usto tell me plenty of times.
“My Aunt Maddalena is so beautiful in looks that artiss men make
her picture with many paints. Nobody in her village can dance the
tarantella like my Aunt Maddalena; any person will travel a mile
and be glad to see the steps of her teeny feet. She wrote a letter
how she marrys my Uncle Nicolo who sings long songs and walks on the
grapes to make them wine. By and by she wrote another letter that she
has a baby girl, cousin to me named Concetta. Then no more letters or
else lost. Now you understand why this Italian lady is all mistake
and no Aunt.”
That girl spoke again awful proud.
“Little fool! Can she no getta old? When young she was moddle for
artiss men and this dress I wear now is her moddle dress because my
dress gotta the holes. Your Uncle Nicolo no come today, he hunts the
work. You think that baby girl Concetta no getta big never? I am
Concetta and this is your Aunt Maddalena.”
Then I believed she spoke the true and I was more embearest like I
would die with all my thinks tip side up and no chance to get them
fixed. My voice came out of me little and funny.
“I am very pleased to meet you.”
“Notta so!” said Concetta awfuller proud. “You no wanta us! One year
in America we look look ask ask for you. Now I wish we never hadda
found you! You gotta the shame of us and I hate you!”
I did not answer that Concetta but I led them to chairs which were
very quick plenty when they walked near. It is the rule not to just
have your own talk with your rellytives at a reception but you must
make presents to them of your schoolmates. I did not mind that rule,
Mother because of the feelings I had for the Exclusives to look on my
cousins so wretcheddy and my Aunt Maddalena all poor and wrinkled up.
I was trying to swallow down my cry when our dear Principal came and
saylooted my rellytives fine and polite as if they were the best in
elegant trains instead of short in the skirts and big in the shoes
as my Aunt, only Concetta hid her hands under her apron crost by many
stripes. What sort of manners was that?
The boy begged me, “Swipe a feller some cake. Say, do you guys have
ice cream?” I made the start to get him some but Concetta said,
“Notta swipe--better he starve first,” so I sat still and swiped not.
I wanted to make good from talk with my rellytives but it was skarce
in me. Pretty soon Concetta said to her Mother in Italian that no
longer must they put shame on Giovanna with her grand friends so they
went and fine riddants to that Concetta.
O Mother, what is the good to call Italians grand and wonderful and
then all to stare at them like brickybacks when they stand in your
hall? How can they have that glad the teacher says they may for the
songs in their throats and the pictures in their eyes and their
hands to make statyous when they got those scroochtdown Dago feelings
on themselves (not counting Concetta) and you got the same on them to
be their rellytives? My Italian proudness is all spoiled.
Your unhappy
Jane.
* * * * *
_Dearest and Best_,--
I am writing to you in my cloak and my hat is still on my head
because my feelings fizzed and fizzed all the way home from the call
on my Italian rellytives and will not stay shut up in me one more
minute.
All days I felt as if there was a string on my soul and Aunt
Maddalena was pulling it and I knew Dago must go to Dago. The
Principal said a teacher might company me this afternoon which she so
done.
O Mother, rellytives are no good but to make grief and woe! I wish
mine were back in Italy like a rubber boot washed by many seas,
I do indeed. No, I would save out Aunt Maddalena because love is
sprouting in my heart for her and how she does not look all homely
as at first. And the baby with eyes like chockylet creams, it is a
dear baby. Giuseppe is a newsy and newsys are ever desprit characters
and usto pull my braids, but Giuseppe has not done it yet and he has
a hello grin on him so you got to like him anyway and I do not wish
away my cousin Giuseppe. Marietta next to Giuseppe is very good and
quiet and pityful to be so thin and pale and nobody could wish her
away. Assunta between Marietta and the baby has long black curls and
dimples, and I ached to hug and hug her but I never could for the
eyes of Concetta kept me all friz up on my bench so I sat still and
hugged not.
Aunt Maddalena would have embrased me the same as at the reception
but Concetta had to put in her Italian talk “Have care, little
Mother, for the fine clothes of our grand lady cousin.”
All the time of this visit I felt as if my heart was a pincushion
and every word of Cousin Concetta stuck another pin in that cushion
for the hate she got against me. She asked me in her own talk why
I brought that teacher to show her how poor they live. Was it not
enought for me to know it myself and come where I was wanted by
nobody?
They are terrible poor, Mother, and live way upstairs in the
back tennyment with no window to look on the street but just at
clothes-lines and for furniture some big and little benches such as
my Uncle could make with boards loose from the back fence if he got
them first and not the neighbors to burn and a little old busted
stove and a bed very ricketty and the plaster to fall off in many
spots.
They must take coats home to finish just for some cents each one.
Aunt Maddalena sewed like crazy and Concetta the same hard and fierce
and Marietta pale and pityful must sew and little Assunta pulled the
bastings and minded the baby. She cried to go sit on the doorstep and
Aunt Maddalena shook her, not for mad but because tears would drop on
that coat of fine cloth and ruin them all.
Uncle Nicolo is a man of ditches in America because we walk not on
our grapes to make them wine, and when he cannot get ditches to dig
he is out of work which is dreadful and all must finish more coats.
He walked in at the door and I saw him for the first time ever. He
bowed polite to the teacher and me and shook our hands. He did not
laugh nor sing long songs nor take his piccolo out of his pocket as
my Mama that died said he had those habbits but sat on a bench with
his head to hang down in front and his hands to fall between his
knees.
The teacher spoke with him very friendly and he told her O if he had
fifty $ to buy a fruitstand of an Italian man who must take his poor
sick wife back to Italy to die in the arms of her old Mother, then
the family could live fine and not finish the coats. After telling
this Uncle Nicolo fell back into his sorry thinks and talked no more.
Giuseppe was gone to sell his papers, the teacher could not speak all
the time about nothing, Aunt Maddalena in English can only smile and
smile, the little girls were too bashful and the baby too young and
Uncle Nicolo too sad and Concetta too mean to talk so nobody did.
By and by Aunt Maddalena begged me to tell of my Mama that died and
all our family, but I have lost the habbit to speak Italian and was
afraid to say it funny and full of mistakes for Cousin Concetta to
laugh so I answered “Aunt I cannot.”
Then Concetta went and made this lie, “Little Mother, our grand lady
cousin has forgot she was ever poor like us. Do not make her the pain
to remember.”
O Mother, that was mean and mean and mean! I hated Concetta to say
that lie of me, so I begged the teacher please let us go and we went.
I will never go back to see them any more--I’m all finished up with
them forever and forever world without hen!
Goodbye Aunt Maddalena, dear Aunt no more ugly but good and sweet.
Goodbye Giuseppe of the hello grin. Goodbye poor little Marietta so
pityful. Goodbye Assunta with the Isabella looks and curls. Goodbye
baby of the big eyes like chockylet creams. Goodbye Uncle Nicolo. I
hope you get plenty of ditches to dig and can buy that fruit stand.
I do indeed. Goodbye Cousin Concetta with your manners like snow to
freeze me and your words like mustard to burn me.
Mother darling, I feel some unfizzed and I just have time to put away
my hat and coat before the supper bell.
Goodbye from
Jane.
* * * * *
_Dear Mother_,
Your letter hurt fierce and awful but I guess it’s what the Principal
calls a merryted reebuke. You say you have no daughter Jane and want
none of that name if my last letters are her kind to write. You
tell the great dizzypoint you got in me to be so snubbish and your
surprise that I can so quick forget the feelings I usto have in my
soul when the Exclusives were hawty with me the same. O how you put
big big Selfish on me to fuss all times at my own mortifide and not
considder the mortifide of my rellytives at the reception to find
themselves such differents. In the call also you feel Scorn for me
as a horrid silly Prig not to talk Italian with my dear Aunt. And my
Mama that died--how dreadful she must have felt to lean over in her
Heavenly seat and see me act like that to her used-to-be-beautiful
sister and I guess God has His oppinion of me too.
The repentants I got on all the family is big as a house but it don’t
reach to my Cousin Concetta--no ma’am it don’t! Her I must ever hate
as she does me and she made its start when I never did. Last night I
had trouble with my prayers all on account of her. This morning when
I woke I felt as if I had caught meazles in my soul for my thinks of
her.
Yes, ma’am, I will go spend the whole Saturday to visit those
rellytives I thought never to see again in my long life but Dago must
go to Dago and that’s the true. Yes, ma’am, I will help finish the
coats. Yes, Mother, to please you, I will love that Cousin of my
bommynation just this Saturday, since you say that on Sunday I have
your permission to hate her again if I can’t help it.
This is your first time to scold me, Mother, and it felt like spanks
on my soul, but O you put such love and forgiveness at the end and
now to be all confessed and promised up, why I feel more daughterish
than ever.
Your never-more Jane
But always
Giovanna.
* * * * *
_Mother of my happy love_,--
On Saturday morning the Principal was to shop herself a new dress but
she took me first to the house of my Aunt. They were terribly busy.
This time the coats belonged to boys and all must sew sew like crazy
to get finished that day for the rent. Poor little Marietta most
fell off her bench with sleepy because all had sewed in the night.
Giuseppe was gone to sell his papers and Uncle Nicolo to hunt his
ditch to dig with little hope for ditches are scarce and many beg for
shovels.
I said “Concetta, today I love you, give me a coat to sew.” She tost
her head and mocked me back. “Very kind the grand lady Giovanna to
love her poor cousin and sew a coat, very very kind! I thank you.” I
did not get any mad but I just thought how mad I would be tomorrow
for her to speak that way. I took a coat to finish off the pile but
I sewed clear through and the stitches showed and Concetta must
stop and pull them out. She said awful cross “Thank you, fine lady
Giovanna, for the splendid help which will put us back three coats to
get over. Why don’t you stay with your grand friends and let us be?”
I was much mortifide but not mad today or tomorrow because I had a
big sorry on myself to put them back three coats by my fault.
When it was dinner time Concetta said “We have only polenta because
this is the day of the rent. I fear our grand Cousin will starve.”