_How =Lewis Baboon= was belaboured and drubbed; and how =Jowler=
behaved._
What we have already set forth, was the real state of sister Margaret’s
affairs, when her brother took that sturdy resolution for himself, but
left her out. His, indeed, was the best part of the family, and it was
well that matters were carried so far. John was likely some time or
other to go all lengths for his sister, as well as for himself; and it
was the fashion at this time to say, that the great Jowler would never
stop, till every good work was accomplished; but historians do not
mention any great things that he did in the matter. It appears, indeed,
that this fellow did set himself in earnest to touzle Lewis Baboon, and
so beset the lake and the common, that Lewis could no where appear,
without getting a knock on the pate with an oar, or a punch in the guts
with a hand-hoe, and sometimes had musket-bullets whistling about his
ears so thick, that he ran as if all the devils in hell were let loose
at his heels.
In short, Jowler went on helter-skelter; and as long as John and his
wife were in the humour of paying his bills, he hired all the poachers,
game-keepers, and whippers-in in the country, and did not care a
farthing for a fellow, unless he could send him off the country, to
do some mischief or other. For this reason he made John get as many
game-keepers as possible, but never a word of arming his own children.
He made up matters again with Rousterdivel, gave him all he asked, and
encouraged him to play the devil in the house of Squire South, John’s
old friend. He sent more people to look after Sir Thomas’s farm, than
ever were there before in this world. He brought John in bills of
expence laid out in the East country, so extravagant, and consisting
of so many articles, that you would have thought all the taylors and
apothecaries in the country, had been concerned in making them up. But
Jowler minded nothing of all this; as long as John was in the humour,
he went on, and bullied and roared, and spent his money, as if the
master’s salvation depended on the noise which his man Jowler should
make in the neighbourhood; and there was nothing to stop him, for
peoples tongues were tied up, some by one thing, some by another; and
well did he know how to hold one tongue, that used to be the loudest of
all on the like occasions.
There was, however, seldom a day but John had the news of some
mischance befalling his foe Lewis, and then he had the marrow-bones and
cleavers at his door, and his house rung with dancing of hornpipes,
jigs, and country bumkins. It was in vain to tell him that these things
would not avail his family a sixpence after all was over, and that he
had forgot the fine resolutions he had taken, about the defence of his
own house at home, the clearing up of his old arms, and sending his
children to the fencing-school.
Jowler kept him perpetually drunk, in order to get his money to spend;
there was seldom a night, but he made him drink twelve bumpers, and
dance three hornpipes; so that John frequently exposed himself to the
neighbourhood, and in his cups talked no less than of taking the half
of Lewis Baboon’s estate to himself.
In all this hurry-scurry, the nurse and Hubble bubble were laughing
in their sleeves; they saw their own game played to better purpose,
than ever they durst venture to play it. Sir Thomas and they got the
fingering of more money than ever they had seen before in their lives,
and they might lay it out where they pleased, so they let Jowler have
the honour of the treat: whilst in the mean time they saw no necessity
of taking the arms out of the cellar, and they hoped, that John would
soon forget all that he ever said upon the subject. And so, perhaps, he
would, till Lewis Baboon chose to put him in mind of it again, if it
had not been for the boy George, and one or two more. But George never
rested till he got his gun again, which the game-keeper had taken from
him some time before; and there was no hindering of him, from getting
some choice fellows together on holidays to shoot, as he had an order
for it under Mrs. Bull’s own hand.
The nurse then thought that she would give them their bellyful; she
said, that Lewis Baboon was coming, and advised Sir Thomas to call
them out of their beds, at all hours of the night, to send them over
hedge and ditch, from post to pillar, and never give them any rest, in
hopes that they would tire of their project; she thought that when they
found there was no money to be got by the bargain, they would beg to be
off. And here historians observe, that this good woman had forgotten,
how much young people like fun better than money. But still she made
something of a bad bargain; she advised Sir Thomas never to let these
people come home, because Lewis Baboon was coming, and to send away
all the game-keepers to his own farm, because Lewis Baboon was not
coming. In short, we can find no clear account of Lewis Baboon’s real
intention, in any historian of that age, much less collect any opinion
about it from the conduct of John Bull’s advisers at this time.