_What happened after this conversation with the Nurse._
Who was listening to all this discourse, but the very boy George
himself, whom the nurse was so much afraid of? This youngster,
instead of loitering about the kitchen or the nursery, flattering the
cook-maid, or the nurse, for slops and tit-bits between meals, was
perpetually rambling about in quest of some diversion without doors.
He had procured a pistol and a gun, and powder and shot, all which
he hid in the hay-stack, or in crannies of the barn wall. You would
think that he minded nothing but climbing walls, and scrambling over
hedges; but no sooner did he see two or more people serious about any
thing, than he forgot all his play, came to listen, as he did to this
conversation between John and his nurse, and gave such attention, that
there were few articles relating to the family, of which he had not
an excellent notion; and could see the folly and ridicule of people,
who thought themselves over wise, as well as another: he was a perfect
plague to the nurse, who hated a joke, and was often put downright mad
with his dry wipes and arch sayings. He no sooner heard John talk in
the peremptory manner above related, than he ran away to Mrs. Bull as
fast as his legs could carry him, and told her all that her husband
had said, and a great deal more of his own, without mincing the matter
in the least, by which he convinced her that John was not then in an
humour to be crossed, and that whether she liked the project or no, it
was best to put a good face upon the matter.
Every body knows that John had devolved great part of his business upon
Mrs. Bull; no tradesman’s bill could be paid without her authority, nor
any receipts granted to any of John’s tenants. In short, neither John
himself, nor Sir Thomas, durst go to a fair or a market, till they knew
whether she would stand to their bargains. This had often been very
troublesome to Sir Thomas, and till he found out the way of managing
her by means of Hubble-bubble, and the like persons, he was obliged to
proceed with great caution, and for the most part to stay at home, when
he would fain have been a gadding.
John had been so oft married, that it may be said with safety, that no
man in the world ever had more experience in matrimony. He had tasted
at times both the sweet and the bitter; but it was a maxim of his,
that any wife was better than none; and accordingly, no sooner one
wife died, than he instantly married another. He never liked a woman
the worse for having a spice of the vixen; it pleased him to hear the
clack of a woman’s tongue; and the truth is, that in a family like
his, it was no good sign when the mistress was not heard of both late
and early. His present wife had got herself a tolerable name in the
neighbourhood, as a quiet, discreet, good sort of a woman; and John,
accordingly, sometimes almost forgot that she was in the family. She
never let him have any of those disputes with Sir Thomas about settling
the accounts, with which John had used to be delighted; but commonly
passed them in the lump, saying, that every article was just what she
would have thought of herself, for the good of the family. With all
this good understanding with Sir Thomas, it was suspected that she had
not all the respect for her husband that she should have had; and the
more that she never scrupled to talk over all the arts which she had
practised in the courtship, and to tell, how many a pot and penny it
had cost her, to get a good word with his servants, thereby to secure
John to herself, when he might have had his choice of all the country;
and then she would talk of her pin-money, and little perquisites, out
of which, she was perpetually endeavouring to make up some little stock
for herself. The nurse and Hubble-bubble humoured her in all this way
of talking, and said, to be sure, nobody would marry such an old fellow
as John Bull, except with a view to get something by him. By this, and
such like discourse, they had got a great deal to say with her, and
could have easily persuaded her at this time to put off the project
of giving out the guns, if they durst have ventured to cross John in
a thing he was so much bent upon. The boy George assured Mrs. Bull,
that John must have at least fifty or sixty at a time, and all that the
nurse could venture upon, was to make her abate one half; with which
solacing herself in the mean time, she let an order be signed for the
rest.
It is hard to say, what made Hubble-bubble and the nurse so averse to
this scheme. As for Hubble-bubble it is probable, as most historians
agree, that he did not know very well himself. But the nurse, who was
no fool, most people thought, must have some other reasons besides her
dream. However this be, we shall relate facts as they occur in the
course of our history.