Chapter Eighteen--A Frog He Would A-Wooing Go

If the reader supposes that I lived all this while in Rivermouth without

falling a victim to one or more of the young ladies attending Miss

Dorothy Gibbs's Female Institute, why, then, all I have to say is the

reader exhibits his ignorance of human nature.

Miss Gibbs's seminary was located within a few minutes' walk of the

Temple Grammar School, and numbered about thirty-five pupils, the

majority of whom boarded at the Hall--Primrose Hall, as Miss Dorothy

prettily called it. The Prim-roses, as we called them, ranged from

seven years of age to sweet seventeen, and a prettier group of sirens

never got together even in Rivermouth, for Rivermouth, you should know,

is famous for its pretty girls.

There were tall girls and short girls, rosy girls and pale girls, and

girls as brown as berries; girls like Amazons, slender girls, weird

and winning like Undine, girls with black tresses, girls with auburn

ringlets, girls with every tinge of golden hair. To behold Miss

Dorothy's young ladies of a Sunday morning walking to church two by two,

the smallest toddling at the end of the procession, like the bobs at the

tail of a kite, was a spectacle to fill with tender emotion the least

susceptible heart. To see Miss Dorothy marching grimly at the head of

her light infantry, was to feel the hopelessness of making an attack on

any part of the column.

She was a perfect dragon of watchfulness. The most unguarded lifting of

an eyelash in the fluttering battalion was sufficient to put her on the

lookout. She had had experiences with the male sex, this Miss Dorothy

so prim and grim. It was whispered that her heart was a tattered album

scrawled over with love-lines, but that she had shut up the volume long

ago.

There was a tradition that she had been crossed in love; but it was the

faintest of traditions. A gay young lieutenant of marines had flirted

with her at a country ball (A.D. 1811), and then marched carelessly away

at the head of his company to the shrill music of the fife, without so

much as a sigh for the girl he left behind him. The years rolled on, the

gallant gay Lothario--which wasn't his name--married, became a father,

and then a grandfather; and at the period of which I am speaking his

grandchild was actually one of Miss Dorothy's young ladies. So, at

least, ran the story.

The lieutenant himself was dead these many years; but Miss Dorothy never

got over his duplicity. She was convinced that the sole aim of mankind

was to win the unguarded affection of maidens, and then march off

treacherously with flying colors to the heartless music of the drum and

fife. To shield the inmates of Primrose Hall from the bitter influences

that had blighted her own early affections was Miss Dorothy's mission in

life.

“No wolves prowling about my lambs, if you please,” said

Miss Dorothy. “I will not allow it.”

She was as good as her word. I don't think the boy lives who ever set

foot within the limits of Primrose Hall while the seminary was under her

charge. Perhaps if Miss Dorothy had given her young ladies a little more

liberty, they would not have thought it “such fun” to make eyes over the

white lattice fence at the young gentlemen of the Temple Grammar School.

I say perhaps; for it is one thing to manage thirty-five young ladies

and quite another thing to talk about it.

But all Miss Dorothy's vigilance could not prevent the young folks

from meeting in the town now and then, nor could her utmost ingenuity

interrupt postal arrangements. There was no end of notes passing between

the students and the Primroses. Notes tied to the heads of arrows were

shot into dormitory windows; notes were tucked under fences, and hidden

in the trunks of decayed trees. Every thick place in the boxwood hedge

that surrounded the seminary was a possible post-office.

It was a terrible shock to Miss Dorothy the day she unearthed a nest of

letters in one of the huge wooden urns surmounting the gateway that led

to her dovecot. It was a bitter moment to Miss Phoebe and Miss Candace

and Miss Hesba, when they had their locks of hair grimly handed back

to them by Miss Gibbs in the presence of the whole school. Girls whose

locks of hair had run the blockade in safety were particularly severe on

the offenders. But it didn't stop other notes and other tresses, and I

would like to know what can stop them while the earth holds together.

Now when I first came to Rivermouth I looked upon girls as rather tame

company; I hadn't a spark of sentiment concerning them; but seeing my

comrades sending and receiving mysterious epistles, wearing bits of

ribbon in their button-holes and leaving packages of confectionery

(generally lemon-drops) in the hollow trunks of trees--why, I felt that

this was the proper thing to do. I resolved, as a matter of duty, to

fall in love with somebody, and I didn't care in the least who it was.

In much the same mood that Don Quixote selected the Dulcinea del Toboso

for his lady-love, I singled out one of Miss Dorothy's incomparable

young ladies for mine.

I debated a long while whether I should not select two, but at last

settled down on one--a pale little girl with blue eyes, named Alice. I

shall not make a long story of this, for Alice made short work of

me. She was secretly in love with Pepper Whitcomb. This occasioned a

temporary coolness between Pepper and myself.

Not disheartened, however, I placed Laura Rice--I believe it was Laura

Rice--in the vacant niche. The new idol was more cruel than the old.

The former frankly sent me to the right about, but the latter was a

deceitful lot. She wore my nosegay in her dress at the evening service

(the Primroses were marched to church three times every Sunday), she

penned me the daintiest of notes, she sent me the glossiest of ringlets

(cut, as I afterwards found out, from the stupid head of Miss Gibbs's

chamber-maid), and at the same time was holding me and my pony up to

ridicule in a series of letters written to Jack Harris. It was Harris

himself who kindly opened my eyes.

“I tell you what, Bailey,” said that young gentleman, “Laura is an old

veteran, and carries too many guns for a youngster. She can't resist a

flirtation; I believe she'd flirt with an infant in arms. There's hardly

a fellow in the school that hasn't worn her colors and some of her hair.

She doesn't give out any more of her own hair now. It's been pretty well

used up. The demand was greater than the supply, you see. It's all very

well to correspond with Laura, but as to looking for anything serious

from her, the knowing ones don't. Hope I haven't hurt your feelings,

old boy,” (that was a soothing stroke of flattery to call me “old boy,”)

“but it was my duty as a friend and a Centipede to let you know who you

were dealing with.”

Such was the advice given me by that time-stricken, careworn, and

embittered man of the world, who was sixteen years old if he was a day.

I dropped Laura. In the course of the next twelve months I had perhaps

three or four similar experiences, and the conclusion was forced upon

me that I was not a boy likely to distinguish myself in this branch of

business.

I fought shy of Primrose Hall from that moment. Smiles were smiled over

the boxwood hedge, and little hands were occasionally kissed to me;

but I only winked my eye patronizingly, and passed on. I never renewed

tender relations with Miss Gibbs's young ladies. All this occurred

during my first year and a half at Rivermouth.

Between my studies at school, my out-door recreations, and the hurts my

vanity received, I managed to escape for the time being any very serious

attack of that love fever which, like the measles, is almost certain to

seize upon a boy sooner or later. I was not to be an exception. I was

merely biding my time. The incidents I have now to relate took place

shortly after the events described in the last chapter.

In a life so tranquil and circumscribed as ours in the Nutter House, a

visitor was a novelty of no little importance. The whole household awoke

from its quietude one morning when the Captain announced that a young

niece of his from New York was to spend a few weeks with us.

The blue-chintz room, into which a ray of sun was never allowed to

penetrate, was thrown open and dusted, and its mouldy air made sweet

with a bouquet of pot-roses placed on the old-fashioned bureau. Kitty

was busy all the forenoon washing off the sidewalk and sand-papering the

great brass knocker on our front-door; and Miss Abigail was up to her

elbows in a pigeon-pie.

I felt sure it was for no ordinary person that all these preparations

were in progress; and I was right. Miss Nelly Glentworth was no ordinary

person. I shall never believe she was. There may have been lovelier

women, though I have never seen them; there may have been more brilliant

women, though it has not been my fortune to meet them; but that there

was ever a more charming one than Nelly Glentworth is a proposition

against which I contend.

I don't love her now. I don't think of her once in five years; and

yet it would give me a turn if in the course of my daily walk I should

suddenly come upon her eldest boy. I may say that her eldest boy was

not playing a prominent part in this life when I first made her

acquaintance.

It was a drizzling, cheerless afternoon towards the end of summer that

a hack drew up at the door of the Nutter House. The Captain and Miss

Abigail hastened into the hall on hearing the carriage stop. In a moment

more Miss Nelly Glentworth was seated in our sitting-room undergoing

a critical examination at the hands of a small boy who lounged

uncomfortably on a settee between the windows.

The small boy considered himself a judge of girls, and he rapidly came

to the following conclusions: That Miss Nelly was about nineteen; that

she had not given away much of her back hair, which hung in two massive

chestnut braids over her shoulders; that she was a shade too pale and a

trifle too tall; that her hands were nicely shaped and her feet much

too diminutive for daily use. He furthermore observed that her voice was

musical, and that her face lighted up with an indescribable brightness

when she smiled.

On the whole, the small boy liked her well enough; and, satisfied that

she was not a person to be afraid of, but, on the contrary, one who

might be made quite agreeable, he departed to keep an appointment with

his friend Sir Pepper Whitcomb.

But the next morning when Miss Glentworth came down to breakfast in a

purple dress, her face as fresh as one of the moss-roses on the bureau

upstairs, and her laugh as contagious as the merriment of a robin, the

small boy experienced a strange sensation, and mentally compared her

with the loveliest of Miss Gibbs's young ladies, and found those young

ladies wanting in the balance.

A night's rest had wrought a wonderful change in Miss Nelly. The pallor

and weariness of the journey had passed away. I looked at her through

the toast-rack and thought I had never seen anything more winning than

her smile.

After breakfast she went out with me to the stable to see Gypsy, and the

three of us became friends then and there. Nelly was the only girl that

Gypsy ever took the slightest notice of.

It chanced to be a half-holiday, and a baseball match of unusual

interest was to come off on the school ground that afternoon; but,

somehow, I didn't go. I hung about the house abstractedly. The Captain

went up town, and Miss Abigail was busy in the kitchen making immortal

gingerbread. I drifted into the sitting-room, and had our guest all to

myself for I don't know how many hours. It was twilight, I recollect,

when the Captain returned with letters for Miss Nelly.

Many a time after that I sat with her through the dreamy September

afternoons. If I had played baseball it would have been much better for

me.

Those first days of Miss Nelly's visit are very misty in my remembrance.

I try in vain to remember just when I began to fall in love with her.

'Whether the spell worked upon me gradually or fell upon me all at once,

I don't know. I only know that it seemed to me as if I had always loved

her. Things that took place before she came were dim to me, like events

that had occurred in the Middle Ages.

Nelly was at least five years my senior. But what of that? Adam is the

only man I ever heard of who didn't in early youth fall in love with a

woman older than himself, and I am convinced that he would have done so

if he had had the opportunity.

I wonder if girls from fifteen to twenty are aware of the glamour they

cast over the straggling, awkward boys whom they regard and treat as

mere children? I wonder, now. Young women are so keen in such matters.

I wonder if Miss Nelly Glentworth never suspected until the very last

night of her visit at Rivermouth that I was over ears in love with her

pretty self, and was suffering pangs as poignant as if I had been

ten feet high and as old as Methuselah? For, indeed, I was miserable

throughout all those five weeks. I went down in the Latin class at the

rate of three boys a day. Her fresh young eyes came between me and my

book, and there was an end of Virgil.

“O love, love, love!

Love is like a dizziness,

It winna let a body

Gang aboot his business.”

I was wretched away from her, and only less wretched in her presence.

The special cause of my woe was this: I was simply a little boy to Miss

Glentworth. I knew it. I bewailed it. I ground my teeth and wept in

secret over the fact. If I had been aught else in her eyes would she

have smoothed my hair so carelessly, sending an electric shock through

my whole system? Would she have walked with me, hand in hand, for hours

in the old garden, and once when I lay on the sofa, my head aching with

love and mortification, would she have stooped down and kissed me if I

hadn't been a little boy? How I despised little boys! How I hated one

particular little boy--too little to be loved!

I smile over this very grimly even now. My sorrow was genuine and

bitter. It is a great mistake on the part of elderly people, male and

female, to tell a child that he is seeing his happiest days. Don't you

believe a word of it, my little friend. The burdens of childhood are as

hard to bear as the crosses that weigh us down later in life, while the

happinesses of childhood are tame compared with those of our maturer

years. And even if this were not so, it is rank cruelty to throw shadows

over the young heart by croaking, “Be merry, for to-morrow you die!”

As the last days of Nelly's visit drew near, I fell into a very

unhealthy state of mind. To have her so frank and unconsciously

coquettish with me was a daily torment; to be looked upon and treated as

a child was bitter almonds; but the thought of losing her altogether was

distraction.

The summer was at an end. The days were perceptibly shorter, and now and

then came an evening when it was chilly enough to have a wood-fire in

our sitting-room. The leaves were beginning to take hectic tints, and

the wind was practising the minor pathetic notes of its autumnal

dirge. Nature and myself appeared to be approaching our dissolution

simultaneously--

One evening, the evening previous to the day set for Nelly's

departure--how well I remember it--I found her sitting alone by the wide

chimney-piece looking musingly at the crackling back log. There were

no candles in the room. On her face and hands, and on the small golden

cross at her throat, fell the flickering firelight--that ruddy, mellow

firelight in which one's grandmother would look poetical.

I drew a low stool from the corner and placed it by the side of her

chair. She reached out her hand to me, as was her pretty fashion, and so

we sat for several moments silently in the changing glow of the burning

logs. At length I moved back the stool so that I could see her face in

profile without being seen by her. I lost her hand by this movement, but

I couldn't have spoken with the listless touch of her fingers on mine.

After two or three attempts I said “Nelly” a good deal louder than I

intended.

Perhaps the effort it cost me was evident in my voice. She raised

herself quickly in the chair and half turned towards me.

“Well, Tom?”

“I--I am very sorry you are going away.”

“So am I. I have enjoyed every hour of my visit.”

“Do you think you will ever come back here?”

“Perhaps,” said Nelly, and her eyes wandered off into the fitful

firelight.

“I suppose you will forget us all very quickly.”

“Indeed I shall not. I shall always have the pleasantest memories of

Rivermouth.”

Here the conversation died a natural death. Nelly sank into a sort of

dream, and I meditated. Fearing every moment to be interrupted by some

member of the family, I nerved myself to make a bold dash.

“Nelly.”

“Well.”

“Do you--” I hesitated.

“Do I what?”

“Love anyone very much?”

“Why, of course I do,” said Nelly, scattering her revery with a merry

laugh. “I love Uncle Nutter, and Aunt Nutter, and you--and Towser.”

Towser, our new dog! I couldn't stand that. I pushed back the stool

impatiently and stood in front of her.

“That's not what I mean,” I said angrily.

“Well, what do you mean?”

“Do you love anyone to marry him?”

“The idea of it,” cried Nelly, laughing.

“But you must tell me.”

“Must, Tom?”

“Indeed you must, Nelly.”

She had risen from the chair with an amused, perplexed look in her eyes.

I held her an instant by the dress.

“Please tell me.”

“O you silly boy!” cried Nelly. Then she rumpled my hair all over my

forehead and ran laughing out of the room.

Suppose Cinderella had rumpled the prince's hair all over his forehead,

how would he have liked it? Suppose the Sleeping Beauty, when the king's

son with a kiss set her and all the old clocks agoing in the spell-bound

castle--suppose the young minx had looked up and coolly laughed in his

eye, I guess the king's son wouldn't have been greatly pleased.

I hesitated a second or two and then rushed after Nelly just in time to

run against Miss Abigail, who entered the room with a couple of lighted

candles.

“Goodness gracious, Tom!” exclaimed Miss Abigail. “Are you possessed?”

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