The poet’s wish that we might see ourselves as others see us was, though
he did not so intend it, a cruel wish. It might save us some ridicule to
the outside world, but it would turn ourselves and our pretensions into
such piteous ridicule to ourselves, that life would be furnished with
new pangs. Colonel Piercey went back to Greyshott with a sense of this
keen truth piercing through all appearances, which was half ludicrous
and half painful, though it was not himself, but his relations, that had
been exhibited to him in the light of an old rustic’s observations. He
had come upon this visit with a sense of the greatness of the head of
his own family, which had, perhaps, a little self-esteem in it; for if
the younger branches of the house were what he knew them in his own
person, and his father’s, what ought not the head of the house, Sir
Giles, the lineal descendant of so many Sir Gileses, and young Gervase,
the heir of those long-unbroken honours, to be? He had expected, perhaps
a little solemn stupidity, such as the younger is apt to associate with
the elder branch. But he had also expected something of
greatness--evidence that the house was of that reigning race which is
cosmopolitan, and recognises its kind everywhere from English meads to
Styrian mountains, and even among the chiefs of the East. It was
ludicrous to see, through the eyes of a clown, how poor, after all,
these pretences were. Yet he could not help it. Poor old Sir Giles,
helpless and querulous, broken down by sickness, and, perhaps,
disappointment and trouble; the poor old lady, not much at any time of
the rural princess she might have been, lying speechless in that
lingering agony of imprisoned consciousness; and the son, the heir, the
future head of the house! Was not that a revelation to stir the blood in
the veins of Gerald Piercey, the next-of-kin? He was a man of many
faults, but he was full both of pride and generosity. The humiliation
for his race struck him more than any possible elevation for himself.
Indeed, that possible elevation was far enough off, if he had ever
thought of it. A half-witted rustic youth, taken hold of by a pert
barmaid, with a numerous progeny to follow, worthy of both sides--was
that what the Pierceys were to come to in the next generation? He had
never thought, having so many other things to occupy him in his life, of
that succession, though probably he began to think, his father had, who
had so much insisted on this visit. But what a succession it would be
now! He was walking along, turning these things over in his mind, going
slowly, and not much observant (though this was not at all his habit) of
what was about him, when he was sensible of a sudden touch, which was,
indeed, only upon his hand, yet which felt as if it had been direct upon
his heart, rousing all kinds of strange sensations there. It was a thing
which is apt to touch every one susceptible of feeling, with quick and
unexpected sensations when it comes unawares. It was a little hand--very
small, very soft, very warm, yet with a grasp in it which held fast,
suddenly put into his hand. Colonel Piercey stopped, touched, as I have
said, on his very heart, which, underneath all kinds of actual and
conventional coverings, was soft and open to emotion. He looked down and
saw a little figure at his foot, a little glowing face looking up at
him. “May I tum and walk with you, Cousin Colonel?” a small voice said.
“Sally, do away.”
“Certainly you shall come and walk with me, Osy,” said the Colonel.
“What are you doing, little man, so far from home?”
“It’s not far from home. I walks far--far--further than that. Sally, do
away! I’m doing to walk home with a gemplemans. I’m a gemplemans myself,
but Movver will send a woman wif me wherever I do. Sally, do away!”
“I’ll take care of him,” said Colonel Piercey, with a nod to the maid.
“And so you think you’re too big for a nurse, Master Osy. How old are
you?”
“Seven,” said the boy; “at least I’m more than six-and-three-quarters,
Cousin Colonel. Little Joey at the farm is only five, and he does miles,
all by hisself. Joey is better than me many ways,” he added,
thoughtfully; “he dets up on the big hay-cart, and he wides on the big
horse, and his faver sits him up high! on his so’lder. But I only have
a pony and sometimes I does with Jacob in the dog-cart, and
sometimes----”
“Would you like to ride on my shoulder, Osy?”
Osy looked up to the high altitude of that shoulder with a look full of
deliberation, weighing various things. “I s’ould like it,” he said, “but
I felled off once when Cousin Gervase put me up, and I promised Movver:
but I tan’t help it when he takes me by my arms behind me. Sometimes I’m
fwightened myself. A gemplemans oughtn’t to be fwightened, s’ould he,
Cousin Colonel?”
“That depends,” said Gerald. “I am a great deal bigger than you, but
sometimes I have been frightened, too.”
Osy looked at the tall figure by his side with certain glimmerings in
his eyes of contempt. That size! and afraid!--but he would not make any
remark. One does not talk of the deficiencies of others when one is of
truly gentle spirit. One passes them over. He apologised like a prince
to Gerald for himself. “That would be,” he said, “when it was a big, big
giant. There’s giants in India, I know, like Goliath. If I do to India
when I’m a man, I’ll be fwightened, too.”
“But David wasn’t, you know, Osy.”
“That’s what I was finking, Cousin Colonel, but he flinged the stone at
him before he tummed up to him. Movver says it was quite fair, but----”
“I think it was quite fair. Don’t you see, he had his armour on, and his
shield, and all that; if he had had his wits about him, he might have
put up his shield to ward off the stone. When you are little you must be
very sharp.”
Osy looked at his big cousin again, reflectively. “I don’t fink I could
kill you, Cousin Colonel, even if I was very sharp.”
“I hope not, Osy, and I trust you will never want to, my little man.”
“I would if we was fighting,” said Osy, with spirit; “but I’ll do on
detting bigger and bigger till I’m a man: and you are a man now, and you
tan’t gwow no more.”
“You bloodthirsty little beggar! You’ll go on getting bigger and bigger
while I shall grow an old man like Uncle Giles.”
“I never,” cried Osy, flushing very red, “would stwike an old gemplemans
like Uncle Giles. Never! I wouldn’t let nobody touch him. When Cousin
Gervase runned away with his chair, I helped old Dunning to stop him.
You might kill me, but I would fight for Uncle Giles!”
“It appears you are going to be a soldier, anyhow, Osy.”
“My faver was a soldier,” said Osy. “Movver’s got his sword hanging up
in our room; all the rest of the fings belongs to Uncle Giles, but the
sword, it belongs to Movver and me.”
The Colonel gave the little hand which was in his an involuntary
pressure, and a little moisture came into the corner of his eye. “Do you
remember your father,” he said, “my little man?”
Osy shook his head. “I don’t remember nobody but Movver,” the child
said.
What a curious thing it was! To hear of the dead father and his sword
brought that wetness to Colonel Piercey’s eye; but the name of the
mother, which filled all the child’s firmament, dried the half-tear like
magic. The poor fellow who had died went to the Colonel’s heart. The
lonely woman with the little boy, so much more usual an occasion of
sentiment, did not touch him at all. He did not want to hear anything of
“Movver”: and, indeed, Osy was by no means a sentimental child, and had
no inclination to enlarge on the theme. His mother was a matter of
course to him, as to most healthy little boys: to enlarge upon her love
or her excellencies was not at all in his way.
“You walk very fast, Cousin Colonel,” was the little fellow’s next
remark.
“Do I, my little shaver? What a beast I am, forgetting your small legs.
Come, jump and get up on my shoulder, Osy.”
Osy looked up with mingled pleasure and alarm. “I promised Movver: but
if you holded me very fast----”
“Oh, I’ll hold you. You mustn’t be frightened, Osy.”
“Me fwightened! But I felled down and hurted my side, and fwightened
Movver. Huwah! huwah!” shouted the child. “I’m not fwightened a bit,
Cousin Colonel! You holds me and I holds you, and you may canter, or
gallop, or anyfing. I’ll never be afwaid.”
“Here goes, then,” said the grave soldier. And with shouts and laughter
the pair rushed on, Colonel Piercey enjoying the race as much as the
child on his shoulder, who urged him with imaginary spurs, very dusty if
not very dangerous, holding fast with one hand by the collar of his
coat. He had not much experience of children, and the confidence and
audacity of this little creature, his glee, his warm grip, in which
there was a touch of terror, and his wild enjoyment at once of the
movement and the danger, aroused a new sentiment in the heart of the
mature man, who had known none of the emotions of paternity. Suddenly,
however, a change came over his spirit: he reduced his pace, he ceased
to laugh, he sank all at once--though with the child still shouting on
his shoulder, endeavouring, with his little kicks upon his breast, to
rouse him to further exertions--into the ordinary gravity of his aspect
and demeanour. There had appeared suddenly out of the little gate of the
beech avenue, a figure, which took all the fun out of Gerald Piercey,
though he could not have told why.
“Movver, movver! look here: I’m up upon my horse. But you needn’t be
fwightened, for he’s not like Cousin Gervase. He’s holded me fast, fast
all the way.”
“Oh! Osy,” cried Margaret, holding her breath--for, indeed, it was a
remarkable sight to see the unutterable gravity of Colonel Piercey
endeavouring solemnly to take off his hat to her, with the child,
flushed and delighted, upon his shoulder. There was something comic in
the extreme seriousness which had suddenly fallen upon Osy’s bearer.
“You are making yourself a bore to Colonel Piercey,” she said.
“Not at all; we have been enjoying ourselves very much. He is a
delightful companion,” said Gerald, but in a tone which suggested a
severe despair. “Will you get down, Osy, or would you rather I should
carry you home?”
“I would wather----” said the child, and then he paused. “I tan’t see
your face,” he said, pettishly, “but you feels twite different, as if
you was tired. I fink I’ll get down.”
Colonel Piercey’s comment to himself was that the child was frightened
for his mother, but, naturally, he did not express this sentiment. He
lifted Osy down and set him on the ground. “Where’s the nurse now?” he
said; “a long way behind. You see, Osy, it’s good to have a basis to
fall back upon when new operations are ordered by the ruling powers.”
Could the man not refrain from a gibe at her, even to her child,
Margaret thought, with wonder? But she was surprised to see that he
stood still, as if with the intention of speaking to her.
“You are going out?” he said, in his solemn tones. “Is Lady Piercey
better?”
“She is no better; but I must attempt, in some way, to get the news
conveyed to Gervase. Her eyes turn constantly to the door. They are
still quite living, though not so strong. She must see him, if it is
possible. She _must_ see him, if there is any way--her only child.”
“But not, from all I hear, a child that does her much credit,” he said.
“What does that matter? He is all she has,” she added hastily. “Don’t
let me detain you, Colonel Piercey. I must not be gone long; and I must
try if anything can be done.”
“You mean that I am detaining you,” he said, turning with her. “And I
have something to tell you, if I may walk with you. I have been talking
to old Hewitt, of the Seven Thorns. He says he has no address to
communicate with his daughter; but there is a newly-married couple
coming to occupy his rooms, and that she is returning with them next
week.”
“A newly-married couple!” cried Margaret, aghast. “Can it be they? Can
it be Patty? Is it possible?”
“I thought it might be so, if it was he and she whom I saw.”
“Oh, his mother! his mother! And this was what she was most afraid of.
Why, why did she let him go.”
“Yes, why did she let him go, if she were so much afraid to this, as you
think? But, perhaps you are alarming yourself unnecessarily? Lady
Piercey must have known tolerably well at his age what her son was
likely to do?”
“Yes, I am perhaps alarming myself unnecessarily. The chances are she
will not live to see it. It is only she who would feel it much. Poor
Aunt Piercey! Why should one wish her to live to hear this?” Margaret
paused a little, wringing her hands, uncertain whether to turn back or
to proceed. At last she said to herself, “Anyhow, she wants him--she
wants him. If it is possible, she must see her boy;” and went on again
quickly, scarcely noticing the dark figure at her side. But he did not
choose to be overlooked.
“I should like,” he said, “to have a few things explained. You say
nobody would mind this marriage--if it is a marriage--except Lady
Piercey?”
“I said nobody would mind it much. My uncle would get used to it, and he
could be talked over: and Patty Hewitt is a clever girl. But Aunt
Piercey----!”
“Why should she stand out?”
“If you do not understand,” cried Margaret, “how can I tell you? His
mother! and a woman that has always hoped better things, and thought
still, if he married well,---- You forget,” she cried vehemently, “that
poor Gervase was not to her what he was to us. He was her only child! A
mother may see everything even more keenly than others; but you hope,
you always hope----”
“I presume, then, you did not think so? You did not object to this
marriage.”
“What does it matter whether I objected or not? Of what consequence is
my opinion? None of us can like it. A girl like Patty to be at the head
of Greyshott! Oh! who could like that? But,” said Margaret more calmly,
“my poor aunt deceives herself; for what nice girl, unless she were
forced, as girls are sometimes, would marry Gervase? Poor Gervase! It is
not his fault. She deceives herself. But I don’t think she will live to
see it. I don’t think she will live to hear of it. If she could only
have him by her before she dies. Patty could not oppose herself to that.
She could not prevent that.”
“Is it supposed, then, that she would wish to do so?”
“Colonel Piercey,” cried Margaret, “you have come among us at a dreadful
moment, when all the secrets of the family are laid bare. Oh, don’t ask
any more questions! I have said things I did not intend to say.”
“I hope that I am to be trusted,” he said, with his severe tone; “and if
I can help, I will. To whom are you going? Is it to this old Hewitt? for
nothing, I think, is to be learned from him.”
“I am going to Miss Hewitt, her aunt. It is in despair. For she has a
hatred of all of us at Greyshott; but surely, surely, when they hear
that his mother is dying----”
“She cannot hate me. I will go,” Gerald Piercey said.