I am always honest with myself, so I write these things quite honestly
and frankly.
I love reading, but I have never thought of love or romance as being
even remotely connected with me. I have always been very interested in
engaged couples and newly married people, but I think it is rather
squashing to be the plain daughter of a pretty mother and a father who
can't afford to give you nice clothes. I mean, it doesn't give you much
chance. Suddenly, when I felt those arms round me--very limp and casual,
it is true--I would have given the world to have been attractive and had
an attractive personality and attractive frocks. I have tried very, very
hard to be nice and useful and kind in my life, because I know I could
never have the more alluring virtues; but it has been very, very dull.
I do think clothes matter, and hair-waving, especially when your hair is
straight like mine; and I do understand the girl who, when she was
asked, "Which would you rather be, beautiful or good?" answered, "I
would like to be born beautiful and grow good." I feel she must have
been a relation of mine.
The lights swished round.
"That," said the officer, "has done the trick, Miss Burbridge, and here
we are at the boundary."
He removed his arms from me, and out of the darkness suddenly came my
father's voice.
"I had no idea you were in the habit of taking my daughter for walks,
Captain Cromer. Your mother sent me to search for you, Pam. I am
awaiting an explanation."
"Oh--Captain Cromer--just--just----"
"Yes," said my father, "I perceived it. I presume you have an
explanation to make, sir? I have had the pleasure of watching you for
the last ten minutes."
"Yes," said my companion, "Miss Burbridge unfortunately got picked out
by the searchlights, and we thought the guns----"
"Pamela," said my father, "have you anything to say? If not----"
"Yes," I said desperately. "Oh yes----" then the old sickening fear of
my father, the terror that made me deceive and even lie in a sort of
blind panic, rushed over me.
"I presume there is some understanding, an engagement between you and
Captain----"
"Hullo! Major. Hullo! Captain Cromer. We've had a most entertaining
time. We've been watching you through our glasses. If you will stand
in the limelight----" came an unexpected voice behind father.
It was the C.O. and his wife.
"It brings back my own young days," said the C.O. with his jolly laugh.
"I suppose we are the first to congratulate you young people," the
C.O.'s wife said charmingly. "I couldn't help overhearing the word
'engagement.'"