Every minute I expected to see those big guns fire; only the month
before a German spy in woman's clothes had been found wandering just
where I stood.
I knew the marines behind the searchlights could see me quite clearly,
probably even my white mackintosh. I had asked father to let me go to
the fort. He wasn't keen. I'm twenty-three, but he pretends to himself
that I'm not "out"--it saves dresses, so I never go anywhere.
I was in an absolute panic, and I felt as if all the muscles of my knees
had suddenly turned to water, which wibble-wobbled every time I moved
them.
I turned back; and those searchlights never left me alone, one steady
bar of brilliant, dazzling light kept me focussed the whole time, and I
could not see to walk in it. I felt as though every step might be a
drop into space.
It was a perfectly beastly experience, and every minute I expected the
guns to belch out at me.
I suppose I must have been crying. I seemed to have noticed myself
making a funny little bleaty noise; I know I screamed when a very curt
voice said: "What the devil are you doing here? You know perfectly well
you aren't allowed!"
"The searchlights!" I stammered. "The searchlights!"
"Well, they probably think you're up to no good here."
"I am Major Burbridge's daughter," I stammered; "and they'll fire!"
"Probably," he said casually, "if they think you're spying."
"But they mustn't!"
"It would be a bore," the voice admitted lazily, "especially as I should
be included in the result of their energies." It sounded as if he
didn't care a hang whether he was or not.
He came and stood in the dazzling white path of light the searchlight
made, and I saw he was an officer. I had never seen him before, but
there were dozens of officers I did not know. I only met those who came
to the house to play auction with father and mother.
"Please, please--make them go away," I pleaded, just like a kid
surrounded by sheep or something.
"To signal," he said thoughtfully, "would be to invoke the wrath of the
gods at once. We are nearly out of the boundary. They can see I am an
officer, they can probably see also who I am." The light remained
unwaveringly upon us the whole time he was speaking. "If the gentleman
behind them could be persuaded to believe we are but a couple of
harmless lovers! I dare not wave or anything, because, although I am
attached to the joy-spot, they might not recognise me; the sparkling
intelligence behind the guns would immediately take it for the arranged
signal to a sporty submarine. Would it annoy you fearfully if I made an
effort, by exhibition, to show that we are harmless lovers who shun the
light of publicity now being shed upon us? It is the only thing I can
think of to persuade them to transfer their attentions." His voice
sounded bored and mocking, and I thought he must be an elderly man.
"Please," I said, "please make them go away."
He moved to my other side and put his arm round me, then he turned for a
minute so that his embracing arm must have been visible against my white
mack to the men behind the searchlights.
"Forgive me," he said perfunctorily. "I think the pantomime will have
the desired effect on our friends yonder, and whether they know me or
not they know they'll have a hot time to-morrow for playing the dickens
with an amorous officer--the main thing is to get them to switch the
light off us, isn't it?"
I thrilled. I had always wondered, as every girl born wonders, what it
was like to feel a man's arm round you.