"Once on a time there was a king, and that king had heard talk of a ship
that went as fast by land as it did by water; so he set his heart on
having such a ship, and he gave his word that the man who could build it
should have the princess and half the kingdom. And this promise he had
given out in every parish church in the realm, and at every parish
meeting. There were many that tried their hands you may fancy, for it
was a nice thing to have half the kingdom, and it was brave to get the
princess into the bargain, but it went ill with most of them.
"So there were three brothers away in the wood; the eldest was called
Peter, the second Paul, and the youngest Osborn Boots, because he was
for ever sitting and grubbing in the ashes. But it so happened that on
the Sunday, when the king's promise was given out, he was at church too.
So when he got home and told the story, his eldest brother, Peter,
begged his mother for some food, for he was bent on setting off, and
trying his luck, if he couldn't build the ship and win the princess and
half the realm. So when he had got his wallet full he strode off from
the farm, and on the way he met an old, old man, who was so bent and
wretched.
"'Whither away?' asked the old man.
"'Oh!' said Peter, 'I'm off to the wood to make a platter for my father,
for he doesn't like to eat out of the same dish with us.'
"'A platter it shall be,' said the man; 'but what have you in your
knapsack?'
"'Muck,' said Peter.
"'Muck it shall be,' said the man, and they parted.
"So Peter strode on till he came to a grove of oaks, and then he fell to
chopping and carpentering, but for all his hewing and all his
carpentering he could turn out nothing but platter after platter. So
when it got towards mid-day, he was going to take a snack, and opened
his wallet. But there was not a morsel of food in it, and as he had
nothing to eat, and did not get on any better with the carpentering, he
got weary of the work, and took his axe and wallet on his back and
strode off home to his mother again.
"Next Paul was for setting off to try if he had any luck in
shipbuilding, and could win the king's daughter and half the kingdom.
He, too, begged his mother for food, and when he had got it he threw his
wallet over his shoulder and set off from their farm. On the way he met
an old man who was so bent and wretched.
"'Whither away?' said the man.
"'Oh! I'm just going to the wood to make a pig trough for our little
pig,' said Paul.
"'A pig trough it shall be,' said the man.
"'What have you got in your wallet?' asked the man.
"'Muck,' said Paul.
"'Muck it shall be,' said the man.
"'So Paul trudged off to the wood, and fell to hewing and carpentering
as hard as he could; but however he hewed and however he carpentered, he
could turn out nothing but pig troughs and pig tubs. Still he wouldn't
give in, but worked till far on in the afternoon before he thought of
taking a little snack; then he got so hungry all at once that he must
take out his knapsack, but when he opened it there was not a morsel of
food in it. Then Paul got so cross that he rolled up the knapsack and
dashed it against a stump, and then he shouldered his axe and trudged
away home from the wood as fast as he could.
"So when Paul had come home, Boots was all for setting out in his turn,
and begged his mother for food.
"'May be I might be man enough to get the ship built and win the
princess and half the kingdom.' That was what he said.
"'Yes! yes! a likely thing,' said his mother. 'You look like winning the
princess and the kingdom, that you do, by my troth; you, who have done
naught else than grub and poke about in the ashes! No! no! you don't get
any food,' said the goody.
"'But Boots would not give in; he begged so long that at last he got
leave. As for food he got none, was it likely? But he got by stealth two
oat cakes and a drop of stale beer, and with them he trudged off from
the farm.
"Well! when he had walked a while he met the same old man, who was so
bent and vile and wretched.
"'Whither away?' asked the man.
"Oh! I'm going into the wood to build me a ship which will go as well on
land as on sea; for you must know that the king has given out that the
man who can build such a ship shall have the princess and half the
realm.'
"'What have you got in your wallet?' asked the man.
"'Not much to brag of,' said Boots, 'though it's called travelling
fare.'
"'If you'll give me some of your food, I'll help you,' said the man.
"'With all my heart,' said Boots; 'but there's nothing but two oat cakes
and a drop of stale beer.'
"'It was all the same to him what it was,' said the man, so that he got
something; and he would be sure to help him.
"So when they got up to the old oak in the wood, the man said to the
lad,--
"'Now you must chop out one chip, and you must put it back where it came
from, and when you have done that you may lie down and sleep.
"Yes! Boots did as he said, he lay him down to sleep, and in his slumber
he thought he heard some one hewing and hammering, and carpentering and
sawing, and planing, but he could not wake up till the man called him,
and then there stood the ship all ready, alongside the oak.
"'Now you must go aboard her, and every one you meet you must take as
one of your crew,' he said.
"Yes! Boots thanked him for the ship, and sailed off saying he'd be sure
to do what he said.
"So when he had sailed a while, he came upon a great, long, thin fellow,
who lay away by the hillside and ate granite.
"'What kind of chap are you?' said Boots, 'that you lie here eating
granite?'
"Well! he was so sharp set for meat he could never have his fill, and
that was why he was forced to eat granite. That was what he said; and
then he begged if he might have leave to be one of the ship's company.
"'Oh, yes,' said Boots, 'if you care to come, step on board.'
"Yes, he was willing enough, and he took with him a few big granite
boulders as his sea stores.
"So when they had sailed a bit farther they met a man who lay on a sunny
brae and sucked at a tap.
"'What sort of a chap are you?' asked Boots, and what good is it that
you lie there sucking at that tap?'
"'Oh!' said he, 'when one hasn't got the cask, one must be thankful for
the tap. I am always so thirsty for ale, that I can never drink enough
ale or wine;' and then he asked if he might have leave to be one of the
ship's company.
"'If you care to come, step on board,' said Boots.
"Yes, he was willing enough, and he stepped on board and took the tap
with him lest he should be a-thirst.
"So when they had sailed a bit farther they met one who lay with one ear
on the ground, listening.
"'What sort of a chap are you?' asked Boots 'and what good is it that
you lie there on the ground, listening?'
"'I am listening to the grass growing,' he said, 'for I am so quick of
hearing that I can hear it grow;' and so he begged that he might be one
of the ship's company. Well, he too did not get 'Nay.'
"'If you care to come, step on board,' said Boots.
"Yes, he was willing enough, and so up he too stepped into the ship.
"So when they had sailed a bit farther, they came to a man who stood
aiming and aiming.
"'What sort of a chap are you?' said Boots, 'and why is it that you
stand there aiming and aiming?'
"'I am so sharp-sighted,' he said, 'that I'm a dead shot up to the
world's end;' and so he too asked if he might have leave to be one of
the ship's company.
"'If you care to come, step in,' said Boots.
"Yes, he was willing enough, and so he stepped up into the ship and
joined Boots and his comrades.
"So when they had sailed a bit farther, they came on a man who went
about hopping on one leg, and on the other he had seven hundred weight.
"What sort of a chap are you?' asked Boots; 'and what's the good of your
limping and hopping on one leg, with seven hundred weight on the other?'
"'Oh?' said he, 'I'm as light as a feather, and if I went on both legs I
should be at the world's end in less than five minutes;' and so he too
begged if he might have leave to be one of the ship's company.
"'If you care to come, step in,' said Boots.
"Yes, he was willing enough, and he stepped on board to Boots and his
comrades.'
"So when they had sailed a bit farther, they met a man who stood holding
his throat.
"'What sort of a chap are you?' asked Boots, 'and why in the world do
you stand here holding your throat?'
"'Oh!' said he, 'you must know I have got seven summers and fifteen
winters inside me, so I've good need to hold my gullet, for if they all
slipped out at once they'd freeze the whole world in a trice.' That was
what he said, and so he begged leave to be with them.
"'If you care to come, step in,' said Boots. Yes, he was willing enough,
and so he too stepped on board the ship to the rest.
"So when they had sailed a good bit farther, they came to the king's
grange. Then Boots strode straight into the king, and said, that the
ship was ready out in the courtyard, and now he was come to claim the
princess, as the king had given his word.
"But the king wouldn't hear of it, for Boots did not look very nice; he
was grimy and sooty, and the king was loath to give his daughter to such
a fellow. So he said he must wait a little, he couldn't have the
princess until they cleared a barn which the king had with three hundred
casks of salt meat in it.
"'All the same,' said the king, 'if you can do it by this time to-morrow
you shall have her.'
"'I can but try,' said Boots; 'I may have leave, perhaps, to take one of
my crew with me?'
"'Yes, he might have leave to do that, even if he took them all six,'
said the king, for he thought it quite beyond his power though he had
six hundred to help him.
"But Boots only took with him the man who ate granite, and was always so
sharp set; and so when they came next morning and unlocked the barn, if
he hadn't eaten all the casks, so that there was nothing left but half a
dozen spare-ribs, and that was only one for each of his other comrades.
So Boots strode into the king, and said, now the barn was empty, and now
he might have the princess.
"Then the king went out to the barn, and empty it was, that was plain
enough; but still Boots was so sooty and smutty, that the king thought
it a shame that such a fellow should have his daughter. So he said he
had a cellar full of ale and old wine, three hundred casks of each kind,
which he must have drunk out first, and said the king,--
"'All the same, if you are man enough to drink them out by this time
to-morrow, you shall have her.'
"'I can but try,' said Boots; 'but I may have leave perhaps, to take one
of my comrades with me.'
"'With all my heart,' said the king, who thought he had so much ale and
wine that the whole seven of them would soon get more than their skins
could hold.
"But Boots only took with him the man who sucked the tap, and who had
such a swallow for ale, and then the king locked them both up in the
cellar.
"So he drank cask after cask as long as there were any left, but at last
he spared a drop or two, about as much as a quart or two, for each of
his comrades. Next morning they unlocked the cellar, and Boots strode
off at once to the king, and said he was done with the ale and wine, and
now he must have his daughter as he had given his word.
"'Ay, ay, but I must first go down into the cellar and see,' said the
king, for he didn't believe it. But when he got to the cellar, there was
nothing in it but empty casks. But Boots was still black and smutty, and
the king thought he never could bear to have such a fellow for his
son-in-law. So he said, 'No,' but all the same if he could fetch him
water from the world's end, in ten minutes, for the princess's tea, he
should have both her and half the realm, for he thought that quite out
of his power.
"'I can but try,' said Boots; so he laid hand on him who limped on one
leg, with seven hundred weight on the other, and said he must unbuckle
the weights and use both his legs as fast as ever he could, for he must
have water from the world's end for the princess's tea in ten minutes.
"So he took off the weights, and got a pail, and set off and was out of
sight in a trice. But time went on and on, for seven lengths and seven
breadths, and yet he did not come back. At last there were no more than
three minutes left till the time was up, and the king was as pleased as
though some one had given him a horse. But just then Boots bawled out to
him who heard the grass grow, and bade him listen and hear what had
become of him.
"'He has fallen asleep at the well,' he said. 'I can hear him snoring,
and the trolls are combing his hair.'
"So Boots called him, who could shoot to the world's end, and bade him
put a bullet into the troll. Yes! he did that, and shot him right in the
eye, and the troll set up such a howl that he woke up at once, he that
was to fetch the water for tea; and when he got back to the king's
grange, there was still one minute left of the ten.
"Then Boots strode into the king, and said there was the water, and now
he must have the princess, there must be no more words about it. But the
king thought him just as sooty and smutty as before, and did not at all
like to have him for a son-in-law. So the king said he had three hundred
fathoms of wood, with which he was about to dry corn in the malt-house,
and 'all the same, if you are man enough to get inside it while I burn
up all that fuel, you shall have her, and I will make no more bones
about it.'
"'I can but try,' said Boots; 'but I must have leave to take one of my
crew with me.'
"'Yes, yes!' said the king, 'all six of them if you like;' for he
thought it would be warm enough in there for all of them.
"But Boots took with him the man who had fifteen winters and seven
summers inside him, and they trudged off to the malt-house at night. But
the king had laid the fuel on thick, and there was such a pile burning,
it almost melted the stove. Out again they could not come, for they had
scarce set foot inside than the king shot the bolt behind them, and hung
two padlocks on the door besides. Then Boots said,--
"'You'd better slip out six or seven winters at once, so that it may be
a nice summer heat.'
"Then the heat fell, and they could bear it, but on in the night it
began to grow chilly; so Boots said he must make it milder, with two
summers, and then they slept till far on next day.
"But when they heard the king rattling at the door outside, Boots
said,--
"'Now you must let slip two more winters, but lay them so that the last
may go full on his face.'
"Yes, he did so, and when the king unlocked the malt-house door, and
thought to find them lying there burnt to cinders, there they sat
shivering and shaking till their teeth chattered, and the man with the
fifteen winters let slip the last right into the king's face, so that it
swelled up at once into a big frost-bite.
"'MAY I HAVE YOUR DAUGHTER NOW?' said Boots.
"'Yes, yes! Pray take her and keep her, and half the realm besides,'
said the king, for he couldn't say 'No' any longer.
"So they held the bridal feast, and kept it up and rejoiced and fired
off witch shots, and meanwhile they went looking about for charges, and
then they took me and gave me porridge in a flask, and milk in a basket,
and then they shot me off here to you, that I might tell you all how the
wedding went off."