"Once on a time there was a goody who had three sons. The first was
called Peter, the second Paul, and the third Osborn Boots. One single
nanny-goat she had who was called Hairlock and she never would come home
in time for tea.
"Peter and Paul both went out to get her home, but they found no
nanny-goat, so Boots had to set off, and when he had walked a while he
saw Hairlock high, high upon a crag.
"'Dear Hairlock, pretty Hairlock,' he cried, 'you can't stand any longer
on yon crag, for you must come home in good time for tea, to-day.'
"'No, no, that I shan't,' said Hairlock, 'I won't wet my socks for any
one, and if you want me you must carry me.'
"But Osborn Boots would not do that, so he went and told his mother.
"'Well!' said his mother, 'go to the fox and beg him to bite Hairlock.'
"So the lad went to the fox.
"'My dear fox, bite Hairlock, for Hairlock won't come home in good time
for tea to-day.'
"'No,' said the fox, 'I won't blunt my snout on pig's bristles and
goat's beards.'
"So the lad went and told his mother.
"'Well, then!' she said, 'go to Graylegs, the wolf.'
"So the lad said to Graylegs,--
"'Dear Graylegs! do, Graylegs, tear the fox, for the fox won't bite
Hairlock, and Hairlock won't come home in good time for tea to-day.'
"'No,' said Graylegs, 'I won't wear out my paws and teeth on a dry fox's
carcass.'
"So the lad went and told his mother.
"'Well then, go to the bear,' said his mother, 'and beg him to slay
Graylegs.'
"So the lad said to the bear,--
"'My dear bear, do, bear, slay Graylegs, for Graylegs won't tear the
fox, and the fox won't bite Hairlock, and Hairlock won't come home in
good time for tea to-day.'
"'No, I won't,' said the bear, 'I won't blunt my claws in that work,
that I won't.'
"So the lad told his mother.
"'Well then,' she said, 'go to the Finn and beg him shoot the bear.'
"So the lad said to the Finn,--
"'Dear Finn! do, Finn, shoot the bear, the bear won't slay Graylegs,
Graylegs won't tear the fox, the fox won't bite Hairlock, and Hairlock
won't come home in good time for tea to-day.'
"'No! that I won't,' said the Finn, 'I'm not going to shoot away my
bullets for that.'
"So the lad told his mother.
"'Well then,' she said, 'go to the fir, and beg him fall on the Finn.'
"So the lad said to the fir,--
"'My dear fir! fir, do fall on the Finn, the Finn won't shoot the bear,
the bear won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the fox won't
bite Hairlock, and Hairlock won't come home in good time to tea to-day.'
"'No! that I won't,' said the fir, 'I'm not going to break off my boughs
for that.'
"So the lad told his mother.
"'Well then,' said she, 'go to the fire and beg it to burn the fir.'
"So the lad said to the fire, 'My dear fire! do, fire, burn the fir, the
fir won't fall on the Finn, the Finn won't shoot the bear, the bear
won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the fox won't bite
Hairlock, and Hairlock won't come home in good time to tea to-day.'
"'No! that I won't,' said the fire, 'I'm not going to burn myself out
for that, that I won't.'
"So the lad told his mother.
"'Well then,' she said, 'go to the water and beg it to quench the fire.'
"So the lad said to the water,--
"'My dear water! do, water, quench the fire, the fire won't burn the
fir, the fir won't fall on the Finn, the Finn won't shoot the bear, the
bear won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the fox won't
bite Hairlock, and Hairlock won't come home in good time to tea to-day.'
"No, I won't,' said the water, 'I'm not going to run to waste for that,
be sure.'
"So the lad told his mother.
"'Well then,' she said, 'go to the ox, and beg him to drink up the
water.'
"So the lad said to the ox,--
"'My dear ox! do, ox, drink up the water, for the water won't quench the
fire, the fire won't burn the fir, the fir won't fall on the Finn, the
Finn won't shoot the bear, the bear won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't
tear the fox, the fox won't bite Hairlock, and Hairlock won't come home
in good time to tea to-day.'
"'No! I won't,' said the ox, 'I'm not going to burst asunder in doing
that, I trow.'
"So the lad told his mother.
"'Well then,' said she, 'you must go to the yoke, and beg him to pinch
the ox.'
"So the lad said to the yoke,--
"'My dear yoke! yoke, do pinch the ox, for the ox won't drink up the
water, the water won't quench the fire, the fire won't burn the fir, the
fir won't fall on the Finn, the Finn won't shoot the bear, the bear
won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the fox won't bite
Hairlock, and Hairlock won't come home in good time to tea to-day.'
"'No, that I won't,' said the yoke, 'I'm not going to break myself in
two in doing that.'
"So the lad told his mother.
"'Well then,' she said, 'you must go to the axe, and beg him to chop the
yoke.'
"So the lad said to the axe,--
"'My dear axe, do, axe, chop the yoke, for the yoke won't pinch the ox,
the ox won't drink up the water, the water won't quench the fire, the
fire won't burn the fir, the fir won't fall on the Finn, the Finn won't
shoot the bear, the bear won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't tear the
fox, the fox won't bite Hairlock, and Hairlock won't come home in good
time to tea to-day.'
"'No, that I won't,' said the axe, 'I'm not going to spoil my edge for
that, that I won't.'
"So the lad told his mother.
"'Well then,' she said, 'go to the smith, and beg him to hammer the
axe.'
"So the lad said to the smith,--
"'My dear smith! do, smith, hammer the axe, for the axe won't chop the
yoke, the yoke won't pinch the ox, the ox won't drink up the water, the
water won't quench the fire, the fire won't burn the fir, the fir won't
fall on the Finn, the Finn won't shoot the bear, the bear won't slay the
wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the fox won't bite Hairlock, and
Hairlock won't come home in good time to tea to-day.'
"'No, I won't,' said the smith, 'I'm not going to burn up my coal, and
wear out my sledge hammer for that,' he said.
"So the lad told his mother.
"'Well then,' she said, 'you must go to the rope, and beg it to hang the
smith.'
"So the lad said to the rope,--
"'My dear rope! do, rope, hang the smith, for the smith won't hammer the
axe, the axe won't chop the yoke, the yoke won't pinch the ox, the ox
won't drink up the water, the water won't quench the fire, the fire
won't burn the fir, the fir won't fall on the Finn, the Finn won't shoot
the bear, the bear won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the
fox won't bite Hairlock, and Hairlock won't come home in good time to
tea to-day.'
"'No!' said the rope, 'that I won't, I'm not going to fray myself out
for that.'
"So the lad told his mother.
"'Well then!' she said, 'you must go to the mouse, and beg him to gnaw
the rope.'
"So the lad said to the mouse,--
"'My dear mouse! do, mouse, gnaw the rope, for the rope won't hang the
smith, the smith won't hammer the axe, the axe won't chop the yoke, the
yoke won't pinch the ox, the ox won't drink up the water, the water
won't quench the fire, the fire won't burn the fir, the fir won't fall
on the Finn, the Finn won't shoot the bear, the bear won't slay the
wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the fox won't bite Hairlock, and
Hairlock won't come home in good time to tea to-day.'
"'No! I won't,' said the mouse, 'I'm not going to wear down my teeth for
that.'
"So the lad told his mother.
"'Well then,' she said, 'you must go to the cat, and beg her to catch
the mouse.'
"So the lad said to the cat,--
"'My dear cat! do, cat, catch the mouse, for the mouse won't gnaw the
rope, the rope won't hang the smith, the smith won't hammer the axe, the
axe won't chop the yoke the yoke won't pinch the ox, the ox won't drink
up the water, the water won't quench the fire, the fire won't burn the
fir, the fir won't fall on the Finn, the Finn won't shoot the bear, the
bear won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the fox won't
bite Hairlock, and Hairlock won't come home in good time to tea to-day.'
"'Well!' said the cat, 'just give me a drop of milk for my kittens and
then----' that's what the cat said, and the lad said, 'yes, she should
have it.'
"So the cat bit mouse, and mouse gnawed rope, and rope hanged smith, and
smith hammered axe, and axe chopped yoke, and yoke pinched ox, and ox
drank water, and water quenched fire, and fire burnt fir, and fir felled
Finn, and Finn shot bear, and bear slew graylegs, and graylegs tore fox,
and fox bit Hairlock, so that she sprang home and knocked off one of her
hind legs against the barn wall.
"So there lay the nanny-goat, and if she's not dead she limps about on
three legs.
"But as for Osborn Boots, he said it served her just right, because she
would not come home in good time for tea that very day."