In the advertising sheet of "N. & Q." for December 18, 1852, its unartistic
readers have the tempting offer placed before them of being taught "the art
of drawing and copying portraits, views, steel or wood engravings, with
perfect accuracy, ease, and quickness, _in one lesson_! And when the gentle
reader of "N. & Q." has recovered from the shock of this startling
announcement, he is further instructed that, "by sending a stamped directed
envelope and twelve postage-stamps, the necessary articles will be
forwarded with the instructions." Who would not, thinks the gentle reader,
be a Raphael, a Rubens, or a Claude, when the metamorphosis may be effected
for twelve postage-stamps? And then, delighted with the thought that no
expensive residence in Italy, or laborious application through long years
of study, will be required, but that the royal road to art may be traversed
by paying the small toll of twelve postage-stamps, he forthwith gives them
to "Mr. A. B. Cleveland, 13. Victoria Street, Brighton," and in due course
of time Mr. A. B. C. forwards him "the necessary articles with the
instructions," the former of which the gentle reader certainly finds to be
"no expensive apparatus," but as simple as A, B, C. The articles consist of
a small piece of black paper, and a small piece of common tissue paper,
oiled in a manner very offensive to a susceptible nose. The instructions
are printed, and are prefaced by a paragraph which truly declares them to
be "most simple:"
"The outlines must be sketched by the following means, and may _be
filled up according to pleasure_. In the first place, _lay what you
intend to copy straight before you_; then _lay over it_ the transparent
paper, and you will see the outlines most distinctly; pencil them over
lightly, taking care to keep the paper in the same position until you
have finished the outlines; after which, place the paper or card you
intend the copy to appear on under the black tracing-paper, with the
black side on it, and on which place the outlines you have previously
taken, remembering to keep them all straight, and then, by passing a
piece of wire (or anything brought to a point not sufficient to
scratch) correctly over the said outlines, you will have an exact
impression of the original upon the card intended, _which must then be
filled up_. I would recommend a portrait _for the first attempt_, which
can be done in a few minutes, and you will soon see your success. _Of
course you can ink or paint the copy according to pleasure._"
"Why, of course I can," probably exclaims the now un-gentle reader; "of
course I can, when I have the ability to do it,--a consummation which I
devoutly wish for, and which I am quite as far from as when I was
weak-minded enough to send my twelve postage-stamps to Mr. A. B. C.; and
yet that individual encloses me a card along with his nasty oiled paper and
'instructions,' which card he has the assurance to head 'scientific!' and
says, 'the exquisite and beautiful art of drawing landscapes, &c. from
nature, in true perspective, with perfect accuracy, ease, and quickness,
taught to the most inexperienced person in ONE _lesson_.' {36}
"I should like to know how I am to lay the landscape straight before me,
and put my oiled paper on the top of it, and trace its outlines in true
perspective? I should like also to know, since Mr. A. B. C. recommends a
portrait for the first attempt, how I am to lay the transparent paper over
my wife's face, without her nose making a hole in the middle of it? It is
all very well for Mr. A. B. C. to say that he 'continues to receive very
satisfactory testimonials respecting the RESULT of his instructions, which
are remarkable for simplicity (I allow that), and invaluable for
correctness' (I deny that). But, although he prints 'result' in capital
letters, all the testimonial that I can give him will be to testify to the
(on his part) satisfactory result attending his 'art of drawing' twelve
postage-stamps out of my pocket."
Thus, can I imagine, would the gentle reader soliloquise, on finding he had
received two worthless bits of paper in return for his investment of
postage-stamps. My thoughts were somewhat the same; for I, alas! sent
"twelve postage-stamps," which are now lost to view in the dim perspective,
and I shall only be too happy to sell Mr. A. B. C. his instructions, &c. at
half-price. In the mean time, however, I forward them for Mr. Editor's
inspection.