_Simylus. Polystratus_
_Si_. So here you are at last, Polystratus; you must be something very
like a centenarian.
_Pol_. Ninety-eight.
_Si_. And what sort of a life have you had of it, these thirty years?
you were about seventy when I died.
_Pol_. Delightful, though you may find it hard to believe.
_Si_. It is surprising that you could have any joy of your life—old,
weak, and childless, moreover.
_Pol_. In the first place, I could do just what I liked; there were
still plenty of handsome boys and dainty women; perfumes were sweet,
wine kept its bouquet, Sicilian feasts were nothing to mine.
_Si_. This _is_ a change, to be sure; you were very economical in my
day.
_Pol_. Ah, but, my simple friend, these good things were presents—came
in streams. From dawn my doors were thronged with visitors, and in the
day it was a procession of the fairest gifts of earth.
_Si_. Why, you must have seized the crown after my death.
_Pol_. Oh no, it was only that I inspired a number of tender passions.
_Si_. Tender passions, indeed! what, you, an old man with hardly a
tooth left in your head!
_Pol_. Certainly; the first of our townsmen were in love with me. Such
as you see me, old, bald, blear-eyed, rheumy, they delighted to do me
honour; happy was the man on whom my glance rested a moment.
_Si_. Well, then, you had some adventure like Phaon's, when he rowed
Aphrodite across from Chios; your God granted your prayer and made you
young and fair and lovely again.
_Pol_. No, no; I was as you see me, and I was the object of all desire.
_Si_. Oh, I give it up.
_Pol_. Why, I should have thought you knew the violent passion for old
men who have plenty of money and no children.
_Si_. Ah, now I comprehend your beauty, old fellow; it was the _Golden_
Aphrodite bestowed it.
_Pol_. I assure you, Simylus, I had a good deal of satisfaction out of
my lovers; they idolized me, almost. Often I would be coy and shut some
of them out. Such rivalries! such jealous emulations!
_Si_. And how did you dispose of your fortune in the end?
_Pol_. I gave each an express promise to make him my heir; he believed,
and treated me to more attentions than ever; meanwhile I had another
genuine will, which was the one I left, with a message to them all to
go hang.
_Si_. Who was the heir by this one? one of your relations, I suppose.
_Pol_. Not likely; it was a handsome young Phrygian I had lately
bought.
_Si_. Age?
_Pol_. About twenty.
_Si_. Ah, I can guess his office.
_Pol_. Well, you know, he deserved the inheritance much better than
they did; he was a barbarian and a rascal; but by this time he has the
best of society at his beck. So he inherited; and now he is one of the
aristocracy; his smooth chin and his foreign accent are no bars to his
being called nobler than Codrus, handsomer than Nireus, wiser than
Odysseus.
_Si_. Well, _I_ don't mind; let him be Emperor of Greece, if he likes,
so long as he keeps the property away from that other crew.