therefore she should certainly be taught it; for tho’ it may not be
called a thing she wants, yet the very Change of Employment is often a
Pleasure: besides that the knowing it is really useful. I have seen a
Woman of Quality at her sick Lord’s Bed-side, so far from being ashamed
to own she could use a Needle, that what things of that kind were wanted
during the Course of his Illness she would let nobody do for him but
herself; and thus at the same time that her Tenderness and Concern proved
the Sincerity of her Affection, she proved that it was not below her
Quality to be notable too.
Dancing I mention in course, tho’ it is needless to recommend it here,
not only because I have elsewhere done justice to this Part of Education,
but because all are convinced of it’s Importance, as an Accomplishment
which strikes the Beholder’s Eye, and gives more or less favourable
Impressions in proportion as we excel in it. But here, to avoid Error,
the End of Dancing should be remembered; that it is not so much for the
sake of shining at a Ball (tho’ that too may sometimes be necessary) but
to give an easy Air and Grace to all the Motions of the Body.
_French_, in it’s Purity and Perfection, is a great Ornament to a Lady’s
Education; but that is not all: it is not only polite, but highly useful;
both as she may have frequent Occasions to speak it, and as there are
many good Authors in that Language not yet translated into ours.
_Italian_ and Music for a fine Lady should be inseparable; for tho’ it is
allowed that our Music is vastly improved within half a Century past, yet
the Critics in that way insist, that Music in our Language is incapable
of equalling the _Italian_, from the great Number of Consonants it
abounds with.
When a young Lady is advanced thus far, she has certainly done a great
deal; but not enough. If she is taught to think that the Great must be
distinguished by their superior Knowledge, she will be animated with a
Desire to acquire it; and not sit down contented with an inferior Degree
of it. Still, as deep Studies and very close Application seem by Nature
more the Province of Men than Women, so I have not urged the Study of the
more learned Languages; and will leave this Point to be determined by the
Parents and Preceptors. History, ’tis true, gives us many Examples of
Queens and Ladies of every Rank, who were distinguished by their great
Learning. Sir _Thomas More_, High Chancellor of _England_, in a Letter to
his Daughter, commends her for the Purity and Elegance of her _Latin_;
and Madam _Dacier_, Daughter of _Tanaquil Faber_, is well known (besides
her other learned Works) to have translated _Homer_ from the _Greek_: but
these are rare Examples, and such perhaps as should rather be admired
than imitated. Nature, I think, points out to us, that the Education of
a Woman should rather be sprightly than grave; thus polite Literature
seems a fitter Study for a Lady than Syllogisms in Logic. However, that
a Lady of Quality may by no means be deficient, she should have, besides
what is already recommended, a Knowledge of Arithmetic, Geography, and
Drawing; to which may, with great Propriety, be added, at least a general
Acquaintance with Moral and Experimental Philosophy.
The Sketch here given is not to be considered as the Edifice, but
the Ground-work, the Foundation alone; the Superstructure is still
to be raised. In order thereto a young Lady is to be nicely directed
what Language she should speak, and what shun: what ought to be her
Sentiments, her Deportment, and her Actions. But first she should be
taught to know that the World has it’s Eyes upon her, and that in
proportion as she increases in Merit, so much nearer will she approach
to gaining universal Admiration and Esteem. The Reasonableness of this
Admonition will appear, if it be considered how many Actions we do
unworthy ourselves, only because we are unobserved, or at least think
we are so; whereas by keeping our Attention awake, and considering
ourselves as always beheld, we shall often blush at the very Approach of
Vice and Folly, and thus nobly fly from them. Yet this Consideration of
being beheld, tho’ in itself a Virtue, must be carefully inculcated and
nicely distinguished, lest it degenerate into a vain Desire of Applause:
her Business is to deserve Esteem, but not to look for it. We often see a
half-bred Player stare about him when he has finished his Speech, as if
he would beg a Clap, a Smile, or a Nod of Approbation; but we never see
this in a thorough bred one; he attends to his Part, to his Business, and
nothing else; he knows that the best way to obtain and secure Applause,
is to deserve it.
I have said a young Lady should be nicely directed what Books she is to
read; indeed it is too nice a Matter for me to determine; Mr. _Addison_,
in one of his _Spectators_, has, in a burlesque Way, given a Sort of
Lady’s Library; but I wish he had reversed it, and told them seriously
what Books would grace a Lady’s Closet, and improve her Mind. For my own
Part I think nothing is more difficult, even among Men, than a proper
Choice of Books. Wisdom and Virtue are the great Sciences we are born to
learn; Books and Men are the Channels to convey the Knowledge of them to
us. Now most Parents give their Children some general Cautions against
bad Company, but Books are usually thrown into one undistinguished
Heap: and tho’ some perhaps are pointed out to us as good, we are not
instructed to shun the bad; at least they are still open to our View.
Witness the Swarms of lewd Plays, Poems and Romances, calculated to
inflame the Minds, and corrupt the Hearts of the Readers: witness the
Sophistry and false Reasoning of many Writers, who take Pride in shewing
how ingeniously they can deceive: witness the Loads of Lumber produced by
those, whose Talents have been mistaken by making them Scholars without
Genius: and witness too the Train of Trifles the present Age abounds
with. From this clear and rational View of the State of Books, is it not
apparent how liable we are to be misled? True it is, that we may read
our whole Lives and learn nothing, nay far worse than nothing; learn
Vice, Error, and Impiety. Since then this Point is of such Consequence to
all, those in exalted Stations of both Sexes should have very able and
faithful Guides herein; as from their Influence so much Good or Bad must
flow. Still I must beg leave to caution Parents of the highest Quality,
to imprint on their Children’s Minds and Hearts this Maxim, that all
their Studies should tend to make them wise and good. Convinced of this,
as they advance in Years, their own Judgment and Goodness of Heart will,
in great measure, instruct them what to read, and what to avoid.
A young Lady should be taught to speak her Mother-tongue with great
Clearness, Purity, and Elegance; nothing coarse, mean, or vulgar should
ever drop from her Lips; nothing uncouth, strained, or affected; the one
debases her Quality, and the other her Understanding. Great Ladies may
perhaps think that their Greatness entitles them to say any thing; but
where this happens, it is certainly an Error in their Education; or at
least it is one in their Practice. There is yet a third Error in Speech
which Women of Rank should carefully avoid; an Error consistent with good
Sense, but good Sense obscured; that of catching every new-coin’d Word.
The _English_ being a living Language, is subject to great Variations
and Changes; but is now deservedly esteemed in high Perfection, as it is
certainly stronger, more expressive, and more copious than heretofore.
Still there is Reason to fear, that every Change is not an Amendment;
and if it be, a Lady should not be the first to adopt it: yet so it
happens, that a Desire to appear wise and learned sometimes makes them
over-shoot themselves, and thus by aiming too high, they are liable to
fall too low.
The Sentiments of a young Lady of Quality should be noble, virtuous,
and pure. While she is surrounded with external Grandeur, she must be
taught to support a Dignity of Mind, without which, all her Pomp will
be mere Farce and Pageantry, and only tend to inflame her Vanity; she
must be taught to know, that the noblest Sentiments are those which
inspire her with a Love of Virtue; and to be truly great, she must
condescend frequently to revolve in her Mind the Hardships, Sorrow,
Pain, and Sufferings of the various States beneath her: above all, she
must be taught to maintain a spotless Innocence; and live in a constant
Resolution to suffer any thing, however great, rather than disgrace her
Birth and Quality by any Action unworthy of herself.
Her Deportment must answer her Quality, and be elevated, majestic, and
noble; such as will strike us with Awe, at the same time that we see
in it a Complacency and Affability which charms us: such as will not
suffer even the most bold and abandoned to offer the least Indecency
or Rudeness, at the same time that it discovers a Heart susceptible of
the tenderest Impressions. An easy Grace, a lively chearful Air should
accompany all she says and does; but lest this should degenerate into
Levity, she must be instructed never to throw off, that great Ornament of
the Sex, Modesty.
Her Actions must be such as will contribute to others Happiness and her
own; such as will reflect a Lustre on herself, and attract the Beholders
of them to an unfeigned Esteem for her: Generosity, Benevolence, Charity,
and Humility, accompanied with a Sweetness of Temper, should alternately
prevail: and if the Distresses of others sometimes intrude too far upon
her, (which from their great Severity they are apt to do) let her not
add Misery to Misery, by dropping the Air of her Countenance, or use any
Bitterness of Expression, at the same time that she refuses to relieve.
I have here laboured to shew what Education is necessary to adorn a
Woman of Quality; and will leave it to abler Pens to refine, to correct,
and improve it. What I hope and wish is, that the Plan here laid down
may be deemed natural, practicable, and no way repugnant to good Sense:
nothing stoical, wild, or romantic; nothing, in short, (allowing for
the Difference of Genius, Health, and other Circumstances) but what
every Woman of Quality may and ought to be. But before I quit this Head,
I cannot help remarking how injuriously Men often think and speak of
the Capacities of the other Sex. If all be true that they urge, (which
with some is still a Doubt) that the Understandings of Women are weaker
than those of Men, yet it by no means excuses our excluding them from
Education. Nature indeed seems to have formed the Men strong in Mind and
Body, that they may labour either with their Understandings or their
Limbs as Occasion requires; the Women more tender, for Employments of a
gentler Kind: thus each have their several Provinces: allowing then the
Woman to be the weaker Vessel, that is, neither her Frame nor Faculties
so strong as the Man’s, does it imply that she has no Strength, no
Faculties at all? by no Means. Experience shews us that the Sex have
Wit, Judgment, and a Capacity to learn; how then can we justify our too
general Neglect of them? But this Error is of great Consequence even
to ourselves. If our Love for the Sex extends no farther than a gross
Sense, we miss our Aim if we expect to find Happiness; or if we go so
far as to consider them useful in their domestic Capacity, that will not
secure to us the agreeable: good Sense, and good Temper, improved more or
less by Education, should be every Man’s View in a Partner for Life; and
where shall we find them, if their Education be universally neglected?
A rational Man should choose a rational Companion; but how will such be
found, if Pains are taken to keep them ignorant? Thus it is evident, that
we are injuring ourselves, and Posterity too, by this unworthy Treatment
of the Sex. Still it seems reasonable, that as Men are to bear the Burden
of Business, they should have superior Education, as well as superior
Strength; therefore the only thing here contended for, is, that every
Woman should have her Mind improved, her Understanding enlarged by such
an Education as is best suited to her Condition in Life: such an one,
in short, as will make her lastingly pleasing by being both useful and
agreeable.
The Transition from the Nobility to the Gentry is very easy; for whatever
Difference there may be as to Rank and Title, it is certain that many
private Gentlemen have equal Ability to educate their Children as they
please. The Plan then already laid down for the Education of a Nobleman,
will in general hold good here. The eldest Son, to whom our Laws give
the Estate, should resemble our young Nobleman as nearly as may be; not
from a vain Desire of being equal to him, (tho’ it is the Way to make him
so) but from a laudable Ambition of being excell’d by none in Learning
and Virtue. Still there will sometimes be great Difficulty to persuade
young Gentlemen who are thus situated to apply themselves to Study: the
early Knowledge they have of the Fortune they are to inherit makes them
giddy; and they leave Study to their younger Brothers. What then is to
be done? Parents must discard their outward Fondness for their Children,
to prove their inward Affection; for how can they be said to love them,
while they suffer them to live in Ignorance? how can they be said to love
Virtue, yet lead their Children into Vice? Parents then must do violence
to themselves, they must be in earnest, and consider that the Education
of their Children is an indispensable Obligation. Parents, whatever be
their Fortune, must exert a due Authority over their Children; must shew
them they are serious, and convince them that they will not be trifled
with. Dr. _Busby_, the famous Master of _Westminster_ School, is said
to have made more eminent Scholars than any Man of his Time; the Reason
is obvious, he was in earnest; his Scholars durst not trifle their Time
away, or neglect their Studies: whether or no he carried it with so nice
a Hand as never to err by his Rigour, I will not presume to determine;
but if he did, it is no Matter of Surprise, since every Man is liable
to Error. Whoever considers the Depravity of our Nature, how propense
we are to love Ease, and fly from Labour, will be convinced that Boys
stand in need of every Help to make them diligent. The Authority of the
Parents, the Authority of the Masters, a Sense of their Duty, and a
pleasing Prospect of Reward, by the Acquisition of Knowledge, must all
combine to enforce their Compliance: and happy will it be for them if
they can all produce the desired Effect. But it will be happier still,
if the joint Endeavours of Parents and Teachers can create in Boys a
Love for Study, and an ardent Desire to gain Knowledge: then it is we
see them go to their Book with as much Alacrity as they go to Dinner;
then it is we see them striving to excel; and the Knowledge they gain
from a Love of Learning, makes them sprightly and happy in themselves and
pleasing to all that see them. Besides, this Turn of Mind has something
in it so promising, that it is what every thinking Parent would wish for,
and should earnestly strive to inculcate; yet he must not be surprised
if he does not always find it; and indeed Experience shews us, that it
is generally necessary to govern Children with a tight Rein: for early
Indulgence does them incredible Mischief; in particular, it gives them a
Reluctance for Study very hard to be conquered.
When these first Difficulties are got over, Parents should then apply
themselves to their Children’s Understanding: the joining Reason and
Authority together will give double Weight to their Injunctions. Suppose
then a Father addressing his Son, let us see what Reason will dictate.
“Do you know, my Dear, why you go to School? why I engage you in Study,
and threaten you so severely if you neglect it? is it for my Sake, think
you? or is it because I take Pleasure in giving you Pain? no; it is for
your Sake alone that I thus urge your Obedience. Providence has made me
the Instrument of your Being; therefore, as your natural Guardian, I
am accountable for your Education: Learning is the Road to Knowledge;
Knowledge will lead you to Virtue; and Virtue to Happiness. Need you
then any other Inducements to learn than the Duty you owe to me, and the
Advantages that will accrue to yourself? no surely; I trust you will
want no other Motive.” Is not this Method both rational and natural? I
think it is undeniably so; and that, by these easy Means, Parents may, in
general, promise themselves great Comfort in their Children by guiding
them as they see proper. Children, if moulded while young, readily yield,
like Wax, to the Impression; yet now they are merely passive: but when
Reason gains Strength, when they see their Parents acting with a generous
Affection for their Good alone, then it is that they are animated with
a Love of Duty, and with a Desire to become every thing that they would
have them be.
Every Gentleman of Fortune should certainly give all his Sons the
Education of Gentlemen; and therefore the younger Brothers are, in the
fundamental Points of Education, to accompany the eldest: but tho’ this
be granted in general, yet there are certain particular Rules to be
observed; some one Point to be excepted against, another to be pursued,
with many other things, according as Circumstances vary, all which
require the Parents Attention. I have just observed, that the Foundation
of their Learning should in all the Sons be becoming the Stock they
spring from: but the eldest must be graced with every Ornament. He must
be taught to know, that possessing a Fortune superior to his Brothers,
obliges him to acquire superior Qualifications. He is to consider himself
as one designed to do Honour to his Family, and to his Country; and
be convinced, that if he neglects to cultivate his Mind, he will be a
Disgrace to both.
Parents of this Class have, with regard to their younger Sons, two
principal things to do: first, they are carefully to attend to their
Genius, Temper, and Inclinations; and next they are to resolve on an
Employment suited to them: this settled, they are to pursue their
Education accordingly. The three learned Professions, Divinity, Law, and
Physic, require not only deep Erudition, but require too a Species of
Learning proper to each; besides, as these are Employments of the most
serious Nature, and of the most weighty Consequence, not to give them all
the Qualifications that human Wit is capable of attaining, is surely a
grievous Error. Yet are there sometimes other Errors too material to pass
unobserved: not those of the Head, but of the Heart. It is in general
hoped, that where due Care is taken in forming the Manners, the natural
Corruption of the Heart may be corrected; but where that is neglected, or
our Endeavours to effect it prove fruitless, which, it is to be feared,
they sometimes will, the utmost Care should be taken in the Choice of
an Employment for Life. It is a Rule in Life, that where we cannot do
any great Good, we should do no Harm; and therefore it should be a Rule
with Parents to place their bad Children, if they are so unhappy as to
have any, as remote from Mischief as possible. Now to apply this to the
Matter in hand, we must observe, that to fill up these important Stations
with all their just Requisites, we must not only have a sound Education,
and a clear Head; but we must also have an upright Heart: that is, we
must resolve to banish every sinister Aim, and have no Views but those
of Justice, Probity, and Honour. To what must we ascribe the general
Reproaches thrown with so much Freedom on Professions which have in their
Nature the strongest Claim to Respect, as their Foundation is Virtue,
Truth, and Justice; but to the corrupted Channels the Stream passes
through? For tho’ Men’s Judgments frequently err, and false Constructions
are often put on the best Actions; yet it is to be feared the Complaints
are sometimes but too just. Men strongly tempted by irregular Passions,
whether Pride, Avarice, Revenge, or others, will naturally incline to
gratify them: hence then appears the Necessity, in these Professions
particularly, of well-regulated Hearts: that on one side no Injury may be
done, and on the other, that no Censure may be justly incurred.
It is to be presumed that the younger Sons of every Gentleman’s Family
(unless by any lateral Means they have an independent Fortune) are to
engage in some Profession or Employment, in order to their Advancement
in the World; and it is perfectly right that they should: for by this
means they may not only fill up their Time like reasonable Creatures, but
become capable of doing Honour to some Profession, be useful to Mankind
in general, and often raise a Fortune equal to their elder Brother. Now
besides the learned Professions; the Sea, the Army, and the Exchange,
with many others, needless to enumerate, are open for them to engage in;
and hence farther appears not only the Necessity of considering their
Fortune, but of attending to their Genius, Temper, and Inclinations.