His face covered with lather, and a shaving brush in one hand, Alfred
entered the room just as his friend was about to escape.
“Jimmy!” exclaimed the excited young father, “you're back.”
“Oh, yes--yes,” admitted Jimmy nervously, “I'm back.”
“My boy!” cried Alfred, and he glanced toward the crib. “He's here!”
“Yes--yes,” agreed Aggie uneasily, as she tried to place herself between
Alfred and the bassinette. “He's here, but you mayn't have him, Alfred.”
“What?” exclaimed Alfred, trying to put her out of the way.
“Not yet,” protested Aggie, “not just yet.”
“Give him to me,” demanded Alfred, and thrusting Aggie aside, he took
possession of the small mite in the cradle.
“But--but, Alfred,” pleaded Aggie, “your face. You'll get him all wet.”
Alfred did not heed her. He was bending over the cradle in an ecstasy.
“My boy!” he cried, “my boy!” Lifting the baby in his arms he circled
the room cooing to him delightedly.
“Was he away from home when his fadder came? Oh, me, oh, my! Coochy!
Coochy! Coochy!” Suddenly he remembered to whom he owed this wondrous
treasure and forgetful of the lather on his unshaven face he rushed
toward Zoie with an overflowing heart. “My precious!” he exclaimed, and
he covered her cheek with kisses.
“Go away!” cried Zoie in disgust and she pushed Alfred from her and
brushed the hateful lather from her little pink check.
But Alfred was not to be robbed of his exaltation, and again he circled
the room, making strange gurgling sounds to Baby.
“Did a horrid old Jimmy take him away from fadder?” he said
sympathetically, in the small person's ear; and he glanced at Jimmy with
frowning disapproval. “I'd just like to see him get you away from me
again!” he added to Baby, as he tickled the mite's ear with the end of
his shaving brush. “Oh, me! oh, my!” he exclaimed in trepidation, as he
perceived a bit of lather on the infant's cheek. Then lifting the boy
high in his arms and throwing out his chest with great pride, he looked
at Jimmy with an air of superiority. “I guess I'm bad, aye?” he said.
Jimmy positively blushed. As for Zoie, she was growing more and more
impatient for a little attention to herself.
“Rock-a-bye, Baby,” sang Alfred in strident tones and he swung the child
high in his arms.
Jimmy and Aggie gazed at Alfred as though hypnotised. They kept time to
his lullaby out of sheer nervousness. Suddenly Alfred stopped, held the
child from him and gazed at it in horror. “Good heavens!” he exclaimed.
The others waited breathlessly. “Look at that baby's face,” commanded
Alfred.
Zoie and Aggie exchanged alarmed glances, then Zoie asked in
trepidation, “What's the matter with his face?”
“He's got a fever,” declared Alfred. And he started toward the bed to
show the child to its mother.
“Go away!” shrieked Zoie, waving Alfred off in wild alarm.
“What?” asked Alfred, backing from her in surprise.
Aggie crossed quickly to Alfred's side and looked over his shoulder at
the boy. “I don't see anything wrong with its face,” she said.
“It's scarlet!” persisted Alfred.
“Oh,” said Jimmy with a superior air, “they're always like that.”
“Nothing of the sort,” snorted Alfred, and he glared at Jimmy
threateningly. “You've frozen the child parading him around the
streets.”
“Let me have him, Alfred,” begged Aggie sweetly; “I'll put him in his
crib and keep him warm.”
Reluctantly Alfred released the boy. His eyes followed him to the crib
with anxiety. “Where's his nurse?” he asked, as he glanced first from
one to the other.
Zoie and Jimmy stared about the room as though expecting the desired
person to drop from the ceiling. Then Zoie turned upon her unwary
accomplice.
“Jimmy,” she called in a threatening tone, “where IS his nurse?”
“Does Jimmy take the nurse out, too?” demanded Alfred, more and more
annoyed by the privileges Jimmy had apparently been usurping in his
absence.
“Never mind about the nurse,” interposed Aggie. “Baby likes me better
anyway. I'll tuck him in,” and she bent fondly over the crib, but Alfred
was not to be so easily pacified.
“Do you mean to tell me,” he exclaimed excitedly, “that my boy hasn't
any nurse?”
“We HAD a nurse,” corrected Zoie, “but--but I had to discharge her.”
Alfred glanced from one to the other for an explanation.
“Discharge her?” he repeated, “for what?”
“She was crazy,” stammered Zoie.
Alfred's eyes sought Aggie's for confirmation. She nodded. He directed
his steady gaze toward Jimmy. The latter jerked his head up and down in
nervous assent.
“Well,” said Alfred, amazed at their apparent lack of resource, “why
didn't you get ANOTHER nurse?”
“Aggie is going to stay and take care of baby to-night,” declared Zoie,
and then she beamed upon Aggie as only she knew how. “Aren't you, dear?”
she asked sweetly.
“Yes, indeed,” answered Aggie, studiously avoiding Jimmy's eye.
“Baby is going to sleep in the spare room with Aggie and Jimmy,” said
Zoie.
“What!” exclaimed Jimmy, too desperate to care what Alfred might infer.
Ignoring Jimmy's implied protest, Zoie continued sweetly to Alfred:
“Now, don't worry, dear; go back to your room and finish your shaving.”
“Finish shaving?” repeated Alfred in a puzzled way. Then his hand went
mechanically to his cheek and he stared at Zoie in astonishment. “By
Jove!” he exclaimed, “I had forgotten all about it. That shows you how
excited I am.” And with a reluctant glance toward the cradle, he went
quickly from the room, singing a high-pitched lullaby.
Just as the three conspirators were drawing together for consultation,
Alfred returned to the room. It was apparent that there was something
important on his mind.
“By the way,” he said, glancing from one to another, “I forgot to
ask--what's his name?”
The conspirators looked at each other without answering. To Alfred their
delay was annoying. Of course his son had been given his father's name,
but he wished to HEAR someone say so.
“Baby's, I mean,” he explained impatiently.
Jimmy felt instinctively that Zoie's eyes were upon him. He avoided her
gaze.
“Jimmy!” called Zoie, meaning only to appeal to him for a name.
“Jimmy!” thundered the infuriated Alfred. “You've called my boy 'Jimmy'?
Why 'Jimmy'?”
For once Zoie was without an answer.
After waiting in vain for any response, Alfred advanced upon the
uncomfortable Jimmy.
“You seem to be very popular around here,” he sneered.
Jimmy shifted uneasily from one foot to the other and studied the
pattern of the rug upon which he was standing.
After what seemed an age to Jimmy, Alfred turned his back upon his old
friend and started toward his bedroom. Jimmy peeped out uneasily from
his long eyelashes. When Alfred reached the threshold, he faced about
quickly and stared again at Jimmy for an explanation. It seemed to Jimmy
that Alfred's nostrils were dilating. He would not have been surprised
to see Alfred snort fire. He let his eyes fall before the awful
spectacle of his friend's wrath. Alfred's upper lip began to curl. He
cast a last withering look in Jimmy's direction, retired quickly from
the scene and banged the door.
When Jimmy again had the courage to lift his eyes he was confronted by
the contemptuous gaze of Zoie, who was sitting up in bed and regarding
him with undisguised disapproval.
“Why didn't you tell him what the baby's name is?” she demanded.
“How do _I_ know what the baby's name is?” retorted Jimmy savagely.
“Sh! sh!” cautioned Aggie as she glanced nervously toward the door
through which Alfred had just passed.
“What does it matter WHAT the baby's name is so long as we have to send
it back?”
“I'll NOT send it back,” declared Zoie emphatically, “at least not until
morning. That will give Jimmy a whole night to get another one.”
“Another!” shrieked Jimmy. “See here, you two can't be changing babies
every five minutes without Alfred knowing it. Even HE has SOME sense.”
“Nonsense!” answered Aggie shortly. “You know perfectly well that all
young babies look just alike. Their own mothers couldn't tell them
apart, if it weren't for their clothes.”
“But where can we GET another?” asked Zoie.
Before Aggie could answer, Alfred was again heard calling from the next
room. Apparently all his anger had subsided, for he inquired in the most
amiable tone as to what baby might be doing and how he might be feeling.
Aggie crossed quickly to the door, and sweetly reassured the anxious
father, then she closed the door softly and turned to Zoie and Jimmy
with a new inspiration lighting her face. “I have it,” she exclaimed
ecstatically.
Jimmy regarded his spouse with grave suspicion.
“Now see here,” he objected, “every time YOU 'HAVE IT,' I DO IT. The
NEXT time you 'HAVE IT' YOU DO IT!”
The emphasis with which Jimmy made his declaration deserved
consideration, but to his amazement it was entirely ignored by both
women. Hopping quickly out of bed, without even glancing in his
direction, Zoie gave her entire attention to Aggie. “What is it?” she
asked eagerly.
“There must be OTHER babies' Homes,” said Aggie, and she glanced at
Jimmy from her superior height.
“They aren't open all night like corner drug stores,” growled Jimmy.
“Well, they ought to be,” decided Zoie.
“And surely,” argued Aggie, “in an extraordinary case--like----”
“This was an 'extraordinary case,'” declared Jimmy, “and you saw what
happened this time, and the Superintendent is a friend of mine--at least
he WAS a friend of mine.” And with that Jimmy sat himself down on the
far corner of the couch and proceeded to ruminate on the havoc that
these two women had wrought in his once tranquil life.
Zoie gazed at Jimmy in deep disgust; her friend Aggie had made an
excellent suggestion, and instead of acting upon it with alacrity, here
sat Jimmy sulking like a stubborn child.
“I suppose,” said Zoie, as her eyebrows assumed a bored angle, “there
are SOME babies in the world outside of Children's Homes.”
“Of course,” was Aggie's enthusiastic rejoinder; “there's one born every
minute.”
“But I was born BETWEEN minutes,” protested Jimmy.
“Who's talking about you?” snapped Zoie.
Again Aggie exclaimed that she “had it.”
“She's got it twice as bad,” groaned Jimmy, and he wondered what new
form her persecution of him was about to take.
“Where is the morning paper?” asked Aggie, excitedly.
“We can't advertise NOW,” protested Zoie. “It's too late for that.”
“Sh! Sh!” answered Aggie, as she snatched the paper quickly from
the table and began running her eyes up and down its third page.
“Married--married,” she murmured, and then with delight she found
the half column for which she was searching. “Born,” she exclaimed
triumphantly. “Here we are! Get a pencil, Zoie, and we'll take down all
the new ones.”
“Of course,” agreed Zoie, clapping her hands in glee, “and Jimmy can get
a taxi and look them right up.”
“Oh, CAN he?” shouted Jimmy as he rose with clenched fists. “Now you
two, see here----”
Before Jimmy could complete his threat, there was a sharp ring of the
door bell. He looked at the two women inquiringly.
“It's the mother,” cried Zoie in a hoarse whisper.
“The mother!” repeated Jimmy in terror and he glanced uncertainly from
one door to the other.
“Cover up the baby!” called Zoie, and drawing Jimmy's overcoat quickly
from his arm, Aggie threw it hurriedly over the cradle.
For an instant Jimmy remained motionless in the centre of the room,
hatless, coatless, and shorn of ideas. A loud knock on the door decided
him and he sank with trembling knees behind the nearest armchair, just
as Zoie made a flying leap into the bed and prepared to draw the cover
over her head.
The knock was repeated and Aggie signalled to Zoie to answer it.
“Come in!” called Zoie very faintly.