WEDLOCK IN TIME
It is a happy idea to marry while we are young--a fine thing--a good
thing--_a pleasant duty indeed_ to marry the woman of our choice at a
time of life when both are at an age when adjustment is natural and
lasting loyalties are implanted in our hearts and minds for all time. We
make a sad mistake when we postpone so important a step just for the
sake of becoming a rich man first so that our bride-to-be may step into
luxurious quarters and never have to lift her dainty hands except to sip
from the glass of nectar we have set before her. The real facts compiled
by the statistical "System Sams" are against this idea. The balance
comes up in red ink _on the wrong side of the ledger_.
According to these gentlemen the average mortal is likely to be very fat
and much over forty before he can make an offering according to his
first generous impulses and the chances are he will never reach the goal
in this life. By the time he might be financially ready there is a hard
glint in his eye, and he will be looking for the mote in the eye of his
lady love. The waiting game is a hard one _and it makes us worldly_.
After the lapse of years what once seemed a _rose_ might appear to be
more of a _hollyhock_.
Naturally we never blame ourselves for the changes. Had we obeyed the
grand impulse in the hour of our youth we might have kept the garden
full of roses and the hollyhocks would never have sprouted there. Then
the home nest would have tinged our sensibilities with its loveliness
and our affections would have been nailed down hard and fast _forever
and a day_.
Among the many baffling problems which the young man faces, and for that
matter, any man, is marriage. More thought, more energy and more time is
taken up over this one decisive step than over any other. The reasons
are obvious. It involves for life the happiness of the contracting
parties--not only in a direct and personal way, but also in a general
sense. The man's business success largely depends upon the helpmate he
has in his home. _His career is at her mercy._ For example, if the wife
should turn out to be unsympathetic, and uninterested in his ambitions,
this fact might warp his prospects by causing him to _lose heart_ in
facing the large problems awaiting him along the road of opportunity.
However, if she is of a cheerful, energetic disposition and willing to
do all that she can to help him over the rough spots as they travel
along together he will be _inspired into action_ and will do his level
best. He will be conscious as he goes about his work that there is _one_
person above all upon whom he can depend--_his wife_.
Marriage is a _serious business_ and usually we concede that point in
the beginning. However, this is not aimed as a blow at life's greatest
romance ... it is merely the recognition of an elemental fact....
Marriage must have its _practical side_. To become successful in the
highest degree man and wife _must establish a comradeship_. It is not
the part of wisdom that either should rule the other, but rather that
each should have the interest of the other at heart and should strive to
be helpful one unto the other. Two men can go through life the best of
friends, each holding the respect and confidence of the other. So can
two women. _Then, why not a man and wife?_ Needless to say they can, and
do. Such partnerships are sure of success. It is only through lack of
comradeship that love flies out of the window--_and lights on a
sea-going aeroplane_.
The marriage state is a long contract--it should not be stumbled into by
man or woman. Nor should we become cowardly to the point of backing out
of it altogether. Love is blind _only to the blind_. Either party to the
tie that binds has a chance to know in advance whether the venture is
safe and sane. All a man has to consider after he knows his own heart is
that the woman of his choice is sensible, considerate and healthy. Other
things being equal he can take the leap without hesitancy. We shouldn't
borrow trouble.
[Illustration: _Demonstrating the Monk and the Hand-Organ to a Body of
Psychologists_]
Of course there are those who _should never marry_. They do, however,
and when they do they loan themselves to the mockery of the marriage
state. There is no time to dwell on this thought for it is just
something that goes on happening anyway and has no bearing upon the
advisability of "wedlock in time" between _people of horse sense_.
Given a good wife, after his own heart, no manly man has a righteous
kick coming against the fates. Under such circumstances if things go
wrong he will find the fault within himself. Of course we should, to the
fullest possible extent, be prepared for marriage before assuming its
responsibilities. We should at least have a ticket before embarking--and
it is the _real_ man's duty to provide the ticket. Since it is to be a
long voyage a "round trip" isn't necessary. In other words, a man
needn't be rich when he marries--but he should not be broke, either.
Lack of funds a few days after the honeymoon is too hard a test for
matrimony to bear nobly. It is too much like inviting a catastrophe
through lack of good, hard sense to begin with. It shows poor
generalship at the very start--and there is the liability of causing
great distress and hardship to a tender-hearted little woman. It would
be a sad blow to her to find that the man of her choice was, after all,
just an ordinary fellow--_a man without foresight_.
There are four seasons in married life--spring, summer, fall and winter,
and we are going to need a comrade as we go through each of them. And
the one we want _is the one we start with_--the gentle partner in all
our joys and sorrows. It is she who will stand back of us when all
others fail. When the children come along to bless our days and inspire
us to greater efforts we are glad to look into their happy, smiling
faces and find that they resemble their mother--their soft cheeks are
like hers, their hands, their dainty ways, their caresses. And when mama
looks into those same bright eyes they make her think of their daddy.
The fond affection bestowed upon the children by both parents is but
another mode of expressing their regard for each other.
Springtime days, these! When little tots climb up and entwine their
arms about our necks. If this were married life's only compensation it
would not prove in vain--for when the babies enter the home the tie that
binds becomes hard and fast--_if the man is a manly man_. To become the
father of a bright-eyed babe is an experience of the highest importance
to a young man getting started. It reinforces his courage, doubles up
his ambitions and _puts him on his metal_. He has a new responsibility
and it adds to his strength of character to assume it in all its phases.
Another thing it brings comfort and joy to the mother during the long
days while her man is out in the fray. _It drives ennui out of the
household throughout our springtime days._
And when summer comes along new hopes dawn within us. Springtime had
found us up and doing and when it merged into the new season we found
our aspirations even stronger than before. Children must be educated and
their futures prepared in advance as far as may be. They must not go
into the world _without tools to work with_. Meanwhile the household
teems with plans and becomes a veritable dreamland of youthful fervor.
We find that having helped our children into attractive personalities
they have become magnets with which to draw about us their comrades.
Thus we hold on to our youth by virtue of our surroundings--creatures of
our thoughtfulness concerning "_wedlock in time_."
That the fall season is coming has no terrors for us. There will be the
weddings and plannings for new homes _close by_--if we have our say. And
in due course, the grandchildren will come who will favor grandpa and
grandma and once again youth knocks at our door. There will be no dread
winter days for us for we have been forehanded--we have a _new crew on
board to chase away the cares of old age and infirmities_.
Try how we will there is no way to forestall the operation of the law of
compensation. We reap as we sow. The world will be good to those who
compel its respect by becoming the right sort of citizens. _Wedlock in
time--that's the answer_!