THE inconvenience I experienced from the chain upon my legs, which
prevented me from sleeping, destroyed my health. Schiller wished me to
petition, declaring that it was the duty of the physician to order it to
be taken off. For some time I refused to listen to him, I then yielded,
and informed the doctor that, in order to obtain a little sleep, I should
be thankful to have the chain removed, if only for a few days. He
answered that my fever was not yet so bad as to require it; and that it
was necessary I should become accustomed to the chain. I felt indignant
at this reply, and more so at myself for having asked the favour. “See
what I have got by following your advice,” said I to Schiller; and I said
it in a very sharp tone, not a little offensive to the old man.
“You are vexed,” he exclaimed, “because you met with a denial; and I am
as much so with your arrogance! Could I help it?” He then began a long
sermon. “The proud value themselves mightily in never exposing
themselves to a refusal, in never accepting an offer, in being ashamed at
a thousand little matters. _Alle eselen_, asses as they all are. Vain
grandeur, want of true dignity, which consists in being ashamed only of
bad actions!” He went off, and made the door ring with a tremendous
noise.
I was dismayed; yet his rough sincerity scarcely displeased me. Had he
not spoken the truth? to how many weaknesses had I not given the name of
dignity! the result of nothing but pride.
At the dinner hour Schiller left my fare to the convict Kunda, who
brought me some water, while Schiller stood outside. I called him. “I
have no time,” he replied, very drily.
I rose, and going to him, said, “If you wish my dinner to agree with me,
pray don’t look so horribly sour; it is worse than vinegar.”
“And how ought I to look?” he asked, rather more appeased.
“Cheerful, and like a friend,” was my reply.
“Let us be merry, then! _Viva l’allegria_!” cried the old man. “And if
it will make your dinner agree with you, I will dance you a hornpipe into
the bargain.” And, assuming a broad grin, he set to work with his long,
lean, spindle shanks, which he worked about like two huge stilts, till I
thought I should have died with laughing. I laughed and almost cried at
the same time.