TO say truth, if our punishment was excessively severe, and calculated to
irritate the mind, we had still the rare fortune of meeting only with
individuals of real worth. They could not, indeed, alleviate our
situation, except by kindness and respect, but so much was freely
granted. If there were something rude and uncouth in old Schiller, it
was amply compensated by his noble spirit. Even the wretched Kunda (the
convict who brought us our dinner, and water three times a day) was
anxious to show his compassion for us. He swept our rooms regularly
twice in the week. One morning, while thus engaged, as Schiller turned a
few steps from the door, poor Kunda offered me a piece of white bread. I
refused it, but squeezed him cordially by the hand. He was moved, and
told me, in bad German, that he was a Pole. “Good sir,” he added, “they
give us so little to eat here, that I am sure you must be hungry.” I
assured him I was not, but he was very hard of belief.
The physician, perceiving that we were none of us enabled to swallow the
kind of food prepared for us on our first arrival, put us all upon what
is considered the hospital diet. This consisted of three very small
plates of soup in the day, the least slice of roast lamb, hardly a
mouthful, and about three ounces of white bread.
As my health continued to improve, my appetite grew better, and that
“fourth portion,” as they termed it, was really too little, and I began
to feel the justice of poor Kunda’s remarks. I tried a return to the
sound diet, but do what I would to conquer my aversion, it was all labour
lost. I was compelled to live upon the fourth part of ordinary meals:
and for a whole year I knew by experience the tortures of hunger. It was
still more severely felt by many of my fellow-prisoners, who, being far
stouter, had been accustomed to a full and generous diet. I learnt that
many of them were glad to accept pieces of bread from Schiller and some
of the guards, and even from the poor hungry Kunda.
“It is reported in the city,” said the barber, a young practitioner of
our surgery, one day to me, “it is reported that they do not give you
gentlemen here enough to eat.”
“And it is very true,” replied I, with perfect sincerity.
The next Sunday (he came always on that day) he brought me an immense
white loaf, and Schiller pretended not to see him give it me. Had I
listened to my stomach I should have accepted it, but I would not, lest
he should repeat the gift and bring himself into some trouble. For the
same reason I refused Schiller’s offers. He would often bring me boiled
meat, entreating me to partake of it, and protesting it cost him nothing;
besides, he knew not what to do with it, and must give it away to
somebody. I could have devoured it, but would he not then be tempted to
offer me something or other every day, and what would it end in? Twice
only I partook of some cherries and some pears; they were quite
irresistible. I was punished as I expected, for from that time forth the
old man never ceased bringing me fruit of some kind or other.