FOR a period of some days I continued in the same state of mind; a sort
of calm sorrow, full of peace, affection, and religious thoughts. I
seemed to have overcome every weakness, and as if I were no longer
capable of suffering new anxiety. Fond delusion! it is man’s duty to aim
at reaching as near to perfection as possible, though he can never attain
it here. What now disturbed me was the sight of an unhappy friend, my
good Piero, who passed along the gallery within a few yards of me, while
I stood at my window. They were removing him from his cell into the
prison destined for criminals. He was hurried by so swiftly that I had
barely time to recognise him, and to receive and return his salutation.
Poor young man! in the flower of his age, with a genius of high promise,
of frank, upright, and most affectionate disposition, born with a keen
zest of the pleasures of existence, to be at once precipitated into a
dungeon, without the remotest hope of escaping the severest penalty of
the laws. So great was my compassion for him, and my regret at being
unable to afford him the slightest consolation, that it was long before I
could recover my composure of mind. I knew how tenderly he was attached
to every member of his numerous family, how deeply interested in
promoting their happiness, and how devotedly his affection was returned.
I was sensible what must be the affliction of each and all under so heavy
a calamity. Strange, that though I had just reconciled myself to the
idea in my own case, a sort of phrensy seized my mind when I depicted the
scene; and it continued so long that I began to despair of mastering it.
Dreadful as this was, it was still but an illusion. Ye afflicted ones,
who believe yourselves victims of some irresistible, heart-rending, and
increasing grief, suffer a little while with patience, and you will be
undeceived. Neither perfect peace, nor utter wretchedness can be of long
continuance here below. Recollect this truth, that you may not become
unduly elevated in prosperity, and despicable under the trials which
assuredly await you. A sense of weariness and apathy succeeded the
terrible excitement I had undergone. But indifference itself is
transitory, and I had some fear lest I should continue to suffer without
relief under these wretched extremes of feeling. Terrified at the
prospect of such a future, I had recourse once more to the only Being
from whom I could hope to receive strength to bear it, and devoutly bent
down in prayer. I beseeched the Father of mercies to befriend my poor
deserted Piero, even as myself, and to support his family no less than my
own. By constant repetition of prayers like these, I became perfectly
calm and resigned.