CHARIVARIA. It is pointed out that the display of December meteors is
more than usually lavish. Send a postcard to your M.P. about it.
* * *
Mr. LLOYD GEORGE recently stated that the first prize he ever won
was for singing. It is only fair to say that this happened in the
pre-NORTHCLIFFE era.
* * *
An elderly Londoner recalls a Christmas when the cold was so intense
that in a Soho restaurant the ices froze.
* * *
There has arrived at the Zoo a bird akin to the partridge and
excellent for the table, but unable to fly. The very thing for the
estate of a sporting profiteer.
* * *
"What is the best fire preventative?" asks a weekly journal. The
answer is, the present price of coal.
* * *
The National Rat Campaign this year, we are told, was a great success.
On the other hand we gather that several rats have threatened to issue
a minority report.
* * *
"There is nothing so enjoyable," says a newspaper correspondent, "as
a trip across the water to Ireland." Except, of course, a trip back
again.
* * *
A number of Huns are receiving Iron Crosses through the post inscribed
"Your Fatherland does not forget you." How like Germany! She won't
even allow bygones to be bygones.
* * *
"Let Christmas come," says a contemporary headline. We have arranged
to do so.
* * *
A Minneapolis judge rules that a man has the right to declare himself
head of the household. Opinion in this country agrees that he has the
right but rarely the pluck.
* * *
"My faith in the League of Nations is not shaken," says Lord ROBERT
CECIL. This is the dogged spirit which is going to make this country
what it used to be.
* * *
"It may yet be possible," according to the Water Power Resources
Committee, "to harness the moon." This of course would depend upon
whether Sir ERIC GEDDES would let them have it or not.
* * *
Cinema stunt actors, says _The Manchester Guardian_, expect to be paid
fifty pounds for a motor smash. It seems an injustice that ordinary
pedestrians should have to take part in this sort of thing for
nothing.
* * *
The continued disappearance of notepaper from a well-known club has
now been traced to a large female cat, and most of the paper has
been recovered from her sleeping-basket. It is thought that she was
probably preparing to write her memoirs.
* * *
A burglar who broke into a private house near Hitchin helped himself
to a good supper before leaving. It is pleasing to learn, however,
that, judging by the disordered state in which the pantry was left,
the Stilton cheese must have put up a splendid fight.
* * *
It was most unfortunate that Mr. "FATTY" ARBUCKLE'S visit to London
should have clashed with the Cattle Show at the Royal Agricultural
Hall.
* * *
During a recent revue performance in London the conductor accidentally
turned over two pages of music at once and the orchestra suddenly
ceased playing. Several words of the chorus were actually heard by
those sitting in front before the mistake could be rectified.
* * *
Green peas in excellent condition, says a contemporary, have been
picked at Pentlow, Sussex. It serves them right.
* * *
"Although Labour extremists are now much quieter it would take very
little to set the ball of discontent into motion once again," states a
writer in the Sunday Press. This being so, is it not rather unwise to
let Christmas Day fall this year on the workmen's half holiday?
* * *
We question the wisdom of drawing the attention of Parliament to the
silence of the POET LAUREATE. If he is goaded into breaking it we
shall know whom to blame.
* * *
"If people at home only knew how grateful we are for _anything_ that
is sent us," writes a lady from the island of Tristan d'Acunha.
If they are as easily pleased as that, the idea of sending them
Lieut.-Commander KENWORTHY should not be lost sight of.
* * *
"The Hexathlon," we read, "is a form of contest new to this country."
Mind you get one for the children at Christmas.
* * *
A new type of American warship is expected to be able to cross the
Atlantic in a little over three days. It will be remembered that the
fastest of the 1914 lot took nearly three years.
* * *
Large numbers of Filipinos are resisting an edict requiring them to
wear trousers. Unfortunately it is impossible to offer to accommodate
them all in the ranks of the Chicago Scottish.
* * *
Riverside residents remarked that just before the cold set in large
flocks of seagulls passed up the Thames. Well, what did they expect?
Flamingoes?
* * *
Mr. A. B. WALKLEY has remarked that a prejudice against actors is as
old as the stage. It is satisfactory to think that it is no older and
that in many cases it may be removed by a change of profession.
* * *
"I never dreamed of anything like this when I invented the telephone,"
said Dr. BELL after a demonstration. Neither as a matter of fact did
we when we hired ours.
* * *
Owing to the fact that Dr. BELL has experienced no unpleasantness
during his stay over here, it is thought that the American genius who
invented revues may now risk a visit to our shores.
* * * * *
It is with the deepest sorrow that we record the death of F. H.
Townsend, which occurred, without any warning, on December 11th. Their
personal loss is keenly felt by his colleagues of the _Punch_ Table,
to whom the fresh candour of his nature and his brave gaiety of
spirit, not less than his technical skill and resourcefulness, were a
constant delight and will remain an inspiration. As Art Editor he will
be greatly missed by the many contributors who have been helped by his
kindly counsel and encouragement. Of the gap that he leaves in the
world of Art they are sadly conscious who followed and appreciated
his fine work not only in the pages of _Punch_ but in his
book-illustrations and in those appeals for charity to which he always
gave freely of his best.
To his nearest and dearest among the wide circle that loved him we ask
leave to offer the sympathy of friends who truly share their grief.
With them we mourn a life untimely closed, and great gifts lost to us
while still in their fulness; but we take comfort in the thought that
death touched him with swift and gentle hand, and that he died with
harness on, as a man would choose to die.
* * * * *
"THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT."