In reply to your letter, we would state that the mistake was due to
the handwriting of the child's mother, making the name appear to be
spelt with one "e" instead of two, and thus making it a boy's name.
We will endeavor, as soon as possible, to repair our error, as it was
never our intention to deceive you.
Very truly yours.
Junior Committee of the Fatherless
Children of France.
Greenville Falls. N.Y.
Deer Miss Secretary,
I didnt say you were deceivin, I just want to tell you the boy you
give me was a girl so you wood not make that mistake agen. It is the
limit when you have told the fellers you had a boy, to go and get a
girl, and when I shod the letter to dad he sed by jove youre in a fine
posishun you are and I sed how is that, and he sed fust thing you no
you will get yourself talkt about, ritin to a girl in France and that
would be fine woodnt it?
Respectfully yours,
J.P. Jackson Jr.
Greenville Falls, N.Y.
March 7, 1917.
Deer godchild,
I received your letter and I did not dye. Of corse you cant help
bein a girl insted of a boy and thats al-rite because Heloise and
Myra-Louise and Nelly the girl next dore and pretty nerely every body
wood ruther be a boy than a girl, but you were the limit to fib about
it and you have put me in a auful queer posishun, so no more fer this
time.
Your godfather,
J.P. Jackson Jr.
P.S. I will suport you just the same so do not worry.
Paris,
21 March 1917.
Dear Mr. James,
I have your letter, and I perceive that you are very much offensed.
One time more I demand pardon; but I cannot be like you want, and by
consequence I can never more call myself your dear godchild; if you
love me not, and I am offensive, I have not business of you and your
silver. Please give it to one unhappy little boy. It is worth better
that I have hunger, it is worth better that I be made dead by the
boches, than to be like one little mendicant. I demand to Maman if it
is not true, and she say yes.
I thank you for all the pain you did take for me and I forget never.
When I become grand I will render to you all you pay for me.
Goodbye monsieur James. Receive the expression of my best salutations,
Andree Leblanc.
Greenville Falls, N.Y.
April 2, 1917.
Deer godchild,
Say what is the matter with you ennyway and why don't you want me to
support you enny longer? I am your godfather and you are my godchild
and it is a legal afare, dad sez, and if ennybody sez ennything about
it they will have to deel with me, see? Ennyway mebbe I was kinder
cranky about it, and you kinder fibbd, so lets say we had a scrap
and shake on it and let it go at that. Lots of the fellers hear have
scraps with the girls, and last weak Dinky Odell who is Carl Odells
yungist brother had one with Heloise because he hollerd, Heloise go
wash your feet, the bord of helths across the street, at her and she
cried, but he sent her a peach of a poim to make up, and hear it is,
"If you dont like me enny more, then I shall inlist and go to war!" I
guess Dinky is goin to be a poit al-rite. You no I mite go to war two,
lots of the fellers hear are inlistin in forrin regimunts, theres Carl
Odell who has joind the Canadian Royal Fling Corpse, and Hanky Jones
is goin to drive a truck in France and I guess he will be some driver
al-rite because he has druv the new automobile hearse fer too years
now, and say he goes like the dickuns. Corse I aint sayin Im goin
to inlist rite away but I got some ideas in mind and Im thinking of
raisin a regiment of boy scouts or Red Indians, I guess the Red skins
wood be the best, and say woodnt Kaiser Bill look chepe if he saw
a bunch of Red Skins beatin it after him? I bet hed run to beat the
band, and I bet theyd catch him, and if they did, goodnite fer Kaiser
Bill. Say they woodnt do a thing to him exept mebbe scalp him or skin
him alive, and woodnt he look chepe then? Red Skins is auful feerce
when they get goin, and I dont rekon ennybody cood stop them once they
got started. We had an auful scare last nite I had been suportin you
all day by choppin wood and I was dead beet but all of a suddin I
was woke up by dad and he was yellin Murder! Murder! and Amanda and
Cecilia and Mother who had her hare in curl papers rushd in, and there
was dad having a buly fite in bed, and he was punchin the pilo, and
yellin Murder! Murder! and we was all scart to go neer him because he
wood punch us like the pilo, so Mother took a pitcher of cold water
and throo it in his face, and that woke him up and he was mad as time,
and sed, what you tryin to do, drown me? And then he laft and told
us his dreme and it was this way, Max Dinkelheim, the shoomaker was a
German spy and he was trying to sell hot dogs with boms in them and no
one new there was boms in them exept dad. And he sed, you dirty Fritz
cut that out, and Max he grabd dad by the hare and dad he yankd Max
by the ear, and they was havin a buly fite when out come five more
germans and begun to paist dad on the head, and corse he coodnt manige
the 6 of them so he was yelling Murder! Murder! And then he got the
pitcher of water and that was all. I bet dad cood have lickd the
stuffin out of Max Dinkelheim al-rite, and I bet we are goin to have
war this weak and if we do, dad sez the Kaiser will find out he has
bit off more than he can chew, and you had better make up with me
because I think you are al-rite, and if we have war I mite be in a
posishun to help you. Thank you fer burning that candle fer me, we
have been burning some sulfur ones fer Heloise and Molly and they seem
to be gettin along nicely. Dont fergit when you rite to say if you are
not mad at me enny more.
Your affeckshunate godfather,
James P. Jackson Jr.
P.S. Hows your big brother been makin out?
P.P.S. Thank you very much fer bustin that dog fer me. I have a pig
with a hole in it and if I ern enuf money next weak I will send it to
you.
P.P.P.S. Who is that Mr. le Cure you talk so much about?
18 rue d'Autancourt.
April 16.
Dear Monsieur James:
When I go to school the week past I see the flag of Amerique floating
well high! And all the world is content because you come to aid us
terminate by a peace victorious this war so terrible, and be like
one brother for the triumph of the Justice, and the Liberty, and the
Humanity. That is what the mistress of school explicate to us, and we
love and honor the Amerique like the great sister Republique, and then
she tell us get up and learn chant the song of the Banner of Stars.
Perhaps you have hear it? It begin: "_Oh, dites, voyez-vous aux
lueurs du matin_" etc. The mistress write it all on the tables
black,[14] and we copy in lieu of the exercise of grammar, and it
make us all joyful. But all that make me think so much of you, that I
cannot empeche[15] myself even if you are no more my godfather, to pin
the little flag American that you give me, on my heart, that save you
from the death by the hoopincoff when I attach it to the candle of the
Ste. Vierge. And then, pending the recreation of mid-day, I go home
and the factor bring your letter! And when I return at school I effort
myself so strong to read your letter, that I cannot make like it
must[16] my chart geographic. But I promise Isabelle Gaveau, the
little girl of the merchant of shoes, that if she will to aid me, I
will lend her my pretty handkerchief new, for go to church the morning
of Easter. So we be all content and I have very much the time to
reflect and respond at your letter.
Dear Monsieur James, I comprehend that you want I continue be your
dear godchild. I demand to Maman what I do, and she say: "Take the
silver, and make no more infantile foolishness. Only one onion cost
five sous now, and the life is very hard, but Amerique have the great
heart to help us and give us the hand, and we work all the two for the
Patrie." So, dear godfather, we be not mad at ourselves any more, and
I promise I make no more the fib, and you make no more the cranky, is
it not? I must to make many progress in American for when you come
I reckon you come like the dickuns, like yellin thunder, with the
skin'em alive Red-skins and the hot dogs!
Dear benefactor, what is it the hot dogs? My great sister say it is a
species of machine-gun American.
It is very funny your Papa make the wicked dream! You have the very
beautiful family. Me too. Great brother Jules is already the corporal
and he is like the Chevalier Bayard without fear and without reproach.
One day, he tell me, a great _éclat d'obus_ take off his hat,
and he pick it off the ground and say: "Ho Fritz! I wanted not be
so polite and salute you!" And my great brother tell me many things
important on the war. But I write them not, because the censure would
scold me; perhaps put me in prison.
Pending his permission of four days, he teach little Jean the chants
of the regiment. Some are not for the little infants, Maman says, so
he whistle them. But Jean love the military chants much more than the
ones of latin he learn to sing in the church, and I hope he mix them
not. Dear godfather, tomorrow is Easter and I am making an egg for
you. It is a surprise so I tell you not what is in it.
Your affeckshunate godchild,
Andrée Leblanc.
[14] Tables black (_tableaux noirs_) black boards.
[15] Empeche myself (_m'empêcher_) I cannot help.
[16] Like it must (_comme il faut_) nicely.
May 5, 1917.
Greenville Falls, N.Y.
Deer godchild,
Gee whiz but Kaiser Bill is in fer it! Gee whiz, you ot to see how
Uncle Sam is fixin up fer him! Jo Kelly and Walter Daly and lot of the
felers are going in fer aviashun and Bill Wilson's scout-master and
organizin a crack bunch of boy scouts and we have a home Deefence and
dad has got a uniform and a wooden gun and he sez it is a pretty good
bunch of felers, but he cood do more with them if he was captin insted
of mister Larkin, who is a good feler but a bum eaptin. I aint sayin
much but I got a few idees and I woodnt let it sprize you if I was
to invent something one of these days, but I cant tell you what it is
becaus the censer wood cut it out. I got your egg and I thank you fer
it, but say it got me in dutch al-right, it was this way, the postman
brot the packidge just as I was going to school and I didn't have time
to open it so I took it along and we was havin some speshul exercises
fer a kernel Dudley who was to talk on, Do your bit to help win the
war, and Bug Hadley was recitin the getysberg adress and I opened the
packidge and their was your egg all smasht up. I guess them cardboard
eggs aint very strong, or mebbe the censer didn't handel it gently,
ennyhow it was smasht and the curl inside it was there alrite only it
was kind of mixt up with the cream candy and I was unmixin them when
Lily Graham who set beehind me whisperd to Erny Dinkelheim, who is Max
Dinkelheims youngist son, Jimmy Jacksons girl in France has sent him
a curl! and Erny started to laff and say, O you Curly--Curly Jackson!
and I sed, You shut up! and he sed, O pooh-pooh--pooh-pooh--and I sed,
Dont you pooh-pooh me! and he sed, Who will I pooh-pooh then? and
I sed, Pooh-pooh the Kaiser, and he sed, The Kaiser wont let me
pooh-pooh him and you leave him alone! And I sed, The Kaiser is
bughouse, and Erny he made a grab at me and landed me one on the chin,
and I paisted him one on the eye and Bug Hadley he stopt sayin the
getysberg adress, and miss Davis she was jumpin up and down hollerin O
boys, O boys, stop them, stop them! and kernel Dudley he hopt off
the stand and pulld us apart, and miss Davis was fer puttin us on the
platferm with our arms on each others shoulders, but the kernel sed,
No, it is that other boys falt, send him home. So they sent Erny home
and he was mad as time. Then the kernel give his talk and sed how the
girls cood help by making the bandiges and how the boys cood find out
who was fer the guvernment and who wasnt. I bet Erny and his father
isnt, and I am going to keep my eye on them. Then we sang the french
nashunal anthem and it is a fine him, and it goes this way in English:
Ye sons of France awake to glory, the day of victory has come, your
childrens wives, and sires horny, behold there tears--and thats as far
as Ive lernt, we have got to lern all of it, and their is a buly part
that goes, March on. Yesterday the fife and drum corpse plaid it and
the Star Spangled Banner and some of the boys lafft becaus the fifes
sort of sqweekt. I dont see how ennybody can laff when they play the
Star Spangled Banner. Did you get my pig? I suported you this weak
by polishin 10 door handels at 7 cents each, some of them was already
polisht but the folks was real nice about it and let me give them an
extry polish. Say why dont you tell me who that Mr. le Cure is? I have
askt you too times now, and say if I was you I woodnt say, come like
the dickens or skin them alive or enny of that kind of talk. It is
al-rite fer boys who are used to ruffin it, but it is not nice fer
girls so if I was you I wood go easy on it, and hot dogs aint machine
guns, they are sausidges that are made from those low-down german dogs
that heve short legs, but say they test buly in a roll. The vilets and
pollywogs have come and I wood send you some but I guess they wood dry
up before you got them. Ennyway you neednt worry much about the
war now that Uncle Sam is in it we will lick the stuffin out of him
together, I mean out of Kaiser Bill.
Your affeckshunate godfather,
James P. Jackson Jr.
P.S. Bug Hadley sez it is lucky fer him Erny and I had that
fite, because he had fergot what come after, and dedicatid to the
proposishun.
June 3, 1917.
18 rue d'Autancourt, Paris.
Dear Godfather:
It is great damage that the pretty egg of Easter I sent you be smasht
up! But I regret yet more that to receive my paquet make you dispute
yourself in dutch, like you say, with the little villain in school.
All the same I am content you landed him one in the eye (I comprehend
not what you want say by that, but I am sure the little boche
comprehend) and you are one valiant patriot.
Dear godfather, why say you the girls must go easy to learn the
American? I effort myself to be instructed with the words in your
letters the dictionary contains not but if they are nothing but for
little boys I pray you to tell me the pretty words for the little
girls. I am sure my dear godfather serves himself not of villain talk.
Jean was put in penitence yesterday because he say one word that is
for Poilus only, and Maman turn him against the wall in the corner
with the hands behind; and do you know what he do when we regard him
not? He lick the paper on the wall and make it to come off. So Maman
give him the spank. Dear godfather, I am happy to make you a little
pleasure in sending you my portrait. I think it is well succeeded and
very resembling, and will you have the obligeance to envoy to me the
one of you?
Dear godfather, I make to you a list of words American I comprehend
not, and I hope you will have the obligeance to explicate them to me.
What is, for example, gee whiz, felers, boy scouts, bum, home defence,
kernel, getysberg adress, mebbe, pooh-pooh, bug-house, the dickens,
pollywogs, and lick the stuffin out? I effort myself very strong to
find them, but it is not worth the pain to search any longer in the
dictionary.
Your affeckshunate godchild,
Andrée Leblanc.
Greenville Falls, N.Y.
July 5, 1917.
Deer godchild,
How are you? I dont see that their is enny fun in life enny more. I
erned $1.56 pickin cheries off the Burtons black chery tree and I thot
that wood make 70 cents fer you and I would spend the rest on fire
crakers, well Toby that is the Burtons mastif that is always chened
up, broke loose and I guess he remembered when Johnny Smith and me had
swiped some cheries last yere when he was chened up, becaus he give
one yip and come and set rite under that tree, and he set their and
grinnd at me all afternoon, and bimeby their was a thunder shower and
I had on my blew pants that was made from dads that had got too tite
fer him, and I thot when it begin to rain Toby wood beat it, but he
just set their and didnt move till bimeby mister Burton come along and
yankt him away by the color. Well I had pickt the cheries al-rite but
I was soked clear through and the color had come off my pants and on
my legs. It is feerce to have blew legs. Well I thot I wood stop and
boy a canon craker and a pistol and I wasnt going to fire them off
before the 4th. but ole Max Dinkelheim was walking kind of slow in
front of me and I thot I wood try the pistol just once to see if it
workt, so I walkt a little faster and shot it off bingo and you shood
have seen ole Max jump! He give one flop in the air and hollered, A
bom! A bom! I guess he thot I was a submareen, and when he saw it was
me beat it after me and we run all the way home, and Max he run rite
into dad and sed, Where is that boy I will teech him to molest a
peaceful citizen. And dad sed, What has he done? And he told him and
sed, I am going to give him the best lickin of his life, and dad rolld
up his sleeves and sed, Not till you lick me first! And Max kind of
lookd at dad just like in the dream and I guess he was scart, so he
sed, If you will promise to see he is punisht I will leve it to you,
and dad sed, I promise, and Max left and dad he come up and was mad as
ole get out, and he took my pistol and canon away and I had ruther he
had give me a lickin because after too days you can set down and are
al-rite again. We have just herd the Yanks have landid somewhere in
France. Say, if you want to see a bunch of rele fiters you just go
take a look at them, and you mite tell your brother Jules to take a
look at them two as he might get some idees from them. I cant tell you
what all those words mean, gee whiz is just gee whiz and a feler is a
guy who is about 12 or 18, and a bum is a feler or something that is
no good, and a pollywog is a animal that is going to be a frog, and
pooh-pooh is pooh-pooh, and bughouse means you have rats in the upper
story, and you had better find out about the getysberg adress and the
boy scouts and mebbe and the dickens yourself but I wood go easy on
them if I was you. What you want to go askin me all those things fer
ennyway? I aint askin you what the vacancies, or all of a hit, or
pending, of enny of those things are, am I? I got your photo and I
like the way your hare curls and your eyes two and everythin, and I am
glad you are not laffin. Girls that giggle are the limit. I have only
one photo of myself and I look as if I wood dye grinning becaus the
man that took it was jumpin up and down and sayin, Look hear! Look
hear! Say wood you relly like to have it? I dont think you wood, I
dont see what good I am ennyway. I am two young to inlist and I dont
think you relly like me. I guess mebbe I had better go to sea or
something.
Your affeckshunate godfather,
James P. Jackson Jr.
P.S. I went butterflying to-day and had good luck.
18 rue d'Autancourt, Paris.
August 2, 1917.
Dear godfather:
You know what it is the "cafard?" In the dictionary it say it is a
"roach" and that is the little beast black like your pollywogs, I
think. But in the Poilu talk it means not that. When there is no more
fun in life, and I am not good for anything anyhow, like you say,
that is what they call to have the "cafard." And it is very bad in the
army. It is to have a bad morale and we must wind ourselves up.
Dear godfather, you must be content because I love you much. And you
take so much pain and you labor so hard to entertain[17] me, I want
make you happy in your heart so you have no more the "cafard." Dear
godfather, I will tell you the American Poilus have come. On Monday
last we hear the music on the road and the mistress tell us this
afternoon all the children must put on aprons clean, and we go to see
pass the Americans. And Maman give me five sous for purchase a bouquet
for give them in souvenir of my dear godfather, and the fleuriste
give me two roses red and I envelope them in a paper wet for hold them
fresh. And all the little girls march in rank like soldiers, two by
two, on to the road where the Americans come. And the gendarmes march
before us to make spread open the crowd so we come. And we stand in
rank and it make a very long line and shake the flag American and
wait. The sun was brilliant and very hot and after a very long moment,
we hear the big music come around the corner, and all bodies were
screaming: "Vive l'Amerique! Vive les Etats Unis! Hurrah Sammies!" and
the gentlemen throw up their hats in air. And all of a hit we see the
banner of stars coming down the street, and I look and all the little
girls at a time kneel themselves on the sidewalk. And I make the sign
of the cross, and the little girls at back of me laugh and mock at me,
but the mistress say it is right; the sign of the cross is good for
the flag too. And when the flag is pass we arise and say hurrah
also, and one soldier American regard me with a smile. Then I take my
courage with two hands and cast away the roses on him, and he catch
and kiss me with his hand, and put the roses in his coat. His name is
Teddy and I love him much. I know because he come see me, because I
write my name (with two es) and adresse tied to the roses. My Maman
was very much surprise when she see Monsieur Teddy come and ring to
the door. He is very well elevated and very beautiful. He has buckled
hairs[18] and a line on one side and his figure is razed.[19] His
uniform is the color of the ground; it is not so much pretty as the
French Poilus who are the color of the sky. And his hat is tied, like
a bonnet of old woman, with a shoe-lace in the back. But I love him
all of same. He take me on his knees and say: "Parlez vous français"
and he begin to recite the verb "avoir," because he know nothing more
of French. And so I say I know very well the American and I talk at
him and he laugh very strong. And he give me a piece of bonbon very
droll. It is mint but it is like elastic; I eat a great number of
pieces because I want not to offence him, and Teddy all of a hit
become very much frightened: "What," he say, "You did swallow the
chewing gum!" And I say: "Naturally I swallow the bonbon!" And Teddy
say a bad English word and run away without his hat and he come back
with a bottle of ipecac and I will not take because I know what it
make do. And poor Teddy was very much desolated; he come every day
to get of my news, and to-day he bring the bonbons French that we
swallow. To-day he ask me will I be his little adopted girl the year
next when you have finish with me and I say, "Mebbe I will." And he
say, "Bully for you, you're a peach!" I make him write because it is
the American and not in the dictionary.
Goodbye, dear godfather,
Your affeckshunate godchild,
Andree Leblanc.
P.S. I am surprise you ask who is M. le Curé. Only the pagans have
not knowledge of him. Are you one pagan? I think you say that to make
laugh. It is very bad to mock yourself of M. le Curé.
[17] entertain (_entretenir_) to support.
[18] Buckled hairs (_cheveux bouclés_) curly hair.
[19] His figure is razed (_sa figure est rasée_) his face is shaved.
To Mr. James P. Jackson Jr.
Dear Sir:
Due to the great confusion and delay existing in the mails at the
present time, we have not until now been able to repair our error
concerning your godchild. We take pleasure in announcing that we are
now in a position to supply you with a boy as formerly requested.
As to the little girl, we can no doubt provide for her until other
arrangements can be made. Elderly gentlemen, we find, are particularly
fond of adopting little girls.
Hoping you will pardon our delay, and inform us as soon as possible
concerning your wishes in this matter, we beg to remain,
Sincerely yours,
The Junior Committee for The
Fatherless Children of France.
Greenville Falls, N.Y.
Deer Miss Secretary,
It is more than kind of you to bother about changing my girl into a
boy, but it cant be done because I have changed my mind about it, but
I thank you all the same. You see it is this way, at fust I wanted a
boy and I was kinder sore after setting my heart on one to get a girl,
but the girl you give me is diferent from most girls, she seams to
have a lot of rele sense, and I have got kinder used to her, and, well
I woodnt like to have her unprovided and waitin fer a old gentleman to
adop her. Some old gentlemen are auful cranks. Old Sam Burton who is
our naybor is the limit. He has had 5 wives and Mother sez Lord only
nos what he has done with them, enneway we dont. And she has sort of
been takin it ezy while I was suportin her and the change wood come
hard to her, I mene my godchild not Sam Burton's wife. Ennyway the
yere is most over and you no how folks talk. Fust thing I new they
wood say, young Jackson's a fikle feller. Thot he'd adop a orfan and
now hes swaped his girl fer a boy. You no how people will talk, so I
guess I can stand my godchild fer this yere ennyway, and after that
we shall see. Of corse I was simply sterilized when I lernt she was a
girl, but even a girl is preferable to a boy that wore shawls and sed
everything was prety and kist you with the botom of his heart. She has
cut that out now, and I am gettin her in prety good shape. Explaning
whats what to her and every thing. So I guess we can manige but I am
obliged to you fer the asking.
Yours truly,
James P. Jackson Jr.
Greenville Falls, N.Y.
Sept. 5, 1917.
Deer godchild,
Your letter reeched me safely, and I was releeved to here the boys
had got safely "over there." Of corse we have had some few notes,
pertikerly from Hanky Jones you no the feller that drove the hearse
I tole you about. Well he is drivin somewhere over the top in France,
not a hearse but a truck, and oh boy, he sez the swellest funeral he
ever drove fer cant hold a candel to drivin a truck with Fritz bulets
bingin all round you and he sez, I received the kit you sent me and
It is a great comfort (the kit is not a cat but a assortment of
handkerchiefs and tooth brushes and everything a soldier gets and
Mother sent him his and so he rote to thank her) an he sez if I go
over the top with the best of luck and get enuf leave to come home I
will give Myself the pleasure of calling on you, and showin you what a
Greenville soldier looks like. My reciprocity shall never end. And he
goes on tellin how french cookin agrees with him and the censer didnt
cut that out, but he cut out the best part I guess. Ennyway the censer
must have a soft spot fer you because he never cuts enny part of yours
out. I guess ennyway you must be a pretty poplar girl you have so many
frens, that think a lot of you, theres your brother Jules and that Mr.
le Cure and that guy Teddy and me. I was sort of thinkin about you and
me the other day and I rote a verse of poitry about us and here it is,
REALIZATION
By James Prendergast Jackson, Jr.
_Im over here, and your "over there"
And I no not the shade of your eyes or your hare.
But this much I relize, from the land of the Free!
You are imbibed with mystery_!
I think that sums up the situation. I have supported you one yere and
you dont no me, and I dont no you, and mebbe you will never mete me
and mebbe I will never mete you, and while I am tryin to think how I
can get over there along comes that feler Teddy and gets his eye on
you and sez, Guess Ill have her for my godchild, and Bully fer you
your a peach! and you fall fer it of corse, and I have to take a back
seat. I guess that is life, but I tell you it is pretty tuf sometimes
and a feler who is twelve yeres old has more trubbles than you think.
But I guess if you want to be his godchild I wont stand between you.
Mebbe you wood like a list of how I have suported you? Here is some of
it, mindin chickins, selling Mirrors, choppin wood, frezin ice-cream
fer Crankit & sons, pickin cheries, money from Carl Odell fer keepin
quiet, polishin door handels, a mud turtle to Sid Perkins, a jar of
pollywogs to Sid Perkins, he wants to build an aquarium, and I washt
the winders of missis Perkins big, white house one weak when I was
hard up, but I dont think I shall ever be hard up again as mister
Parker has ofered to take me on the Mirror staff whenever I like, as
he sez I talk like a book agent. I wish I cood leve school and go into
bizness or to war or something. I dont seem to get much out of school
somehow. Miss Davis sez to mother, Mebbe your son has deefective eyes
but she sez to me, You are a blockhed. I guess miss Davis is off
the trolly or something, Dad sez she has Fritz blood because she
is distently related to the Dinkelheims. I was sory to hear you had
swallerd all that gum, but was glad to see you got away with it, that
feler was the limit to give it to you, it is not a thing to give to a
godchild. Fust thing you no when he is your godfather he will feed you
a shoestring or something, and you will be two polite to say no and
you will dye. I hate to think of you ending that way it dont seem rite
somehow. Say what does he want to buckle his hare and line it up one
side fer? He must think his hed is a race track. Gee whiz I hate to
think of the Yanks comin runnin over there with felers like that among
them. I have been in swimmin with Dinky Odell in old Frost Lake to-day
and he stumpt me to swaller a skipper and sed I bet a quarter you will
not, so I swallerd one and it didn't test ennything at all, only it
kind of crawled up and down my throte fer awhile and o Boy! didnt
he tickel though! The next time I swaller a skipper I shall chew him
fust, if you dont they walk inside of you as if they was saying "where
do we go from hear?" Say you were pretty smart about catching on about
my jokin about Mr. le Cure. Corse I dont no him as well as you do,
caus you no and I no he has lived on the other side more than hear,
but I guess if we was to pass on the street, we wood no each other
well enuf to say, Hello, old top, how are you to-day? Say, I have got
your Christmas present all pickt out, do you no what I wish you wood
give me fer mine? See if you can guess.
Your affeckshunate godfather as ever,
James P. Jackson Jr.
18 rue d'Autancourt, Paris.
September 21, 1917.
My dear godfather:
I thank you for your long letter, and I give it to Monsieur Teddy so
he read and see how much you are genteel. He regard the letter and
regard me and his figure become very droll, like he want laugh or cry
very much and he dare not and must retain himself, and he demand if he
can keep the letter in his pocket for tomorrow, because he desire to
envoy you a response with mine. He is very amiable and charming, think
you not? He come to my house all the days now and always he bring
something. Sunday he bring a paté like we eat on days of féte before
the war; and he remain for aid us eat it. And yesterday he bring a
great ribbon all white for tie on my hairs. He say in Amerique all the
little girls carry on the summit of the head a ribbon big like a hat.
He want not I keep for the Sundays but he tie me up and then he say I
am pretty--jolly he say, and he demand I show him to speak the French.
So he commence to read my book of when I was little, the "Lectures
Enfantines" and I make him say the little poetry that is on the page 3
and it say: "Cher petit oreiller," and then my great sister enter and
she have on her bodice of Sundays and very much the powder of rice on
the nose. And she say: "Go in the bed-chamber and amuse yourself, and
I talk with this Monsieur Americain." And I want not to go, and I cry,
but she say if I obey not she will tell Monsieur Teddy come back never
again. She is a villain, my great sister. I will defend that she aid
me to write my letters to you; I have not business of her. I have
as much as her knowledge of the English, and the American also. And
Monsieur Teddy love me, nothing but me. When he get up to go away he
call: "Where is that child of the gods?" (He make that game of words
because I have perhaps two godfathers) And I come, and he console me.
Thursday last it was my birthday. Monsieur Teddy devined it because he
ask me how much age I have and I say I will have twelve years the 18,
and he say in Amerique it is always a great feast and I must to eat a
cake very big with snow and ice on it and candles, and so he bring
it. I was washing the vessels,[20] and he come in the kitchen and
make many foolishness. He whip me (to make laugh) twelve times with a
little stick so I grow very big all the year. And then he make me hide
my eyes in my apron, and when I open them, I see the cake, big and
white like--oh like I know not what--and the twelve candles pink were
illuminated and there was my name with the two es writ in chocolate
on the snow. And Monsieur Teddy bring also the cold cream; it is rose
like the candles and perfumed with vanilla and strawberries. Oh dear
godfather, I wanted you be here and have some! Only one time before
when I was little I did eat the cold cream and never when it is the
war did we eat cake. And it is good like to be in Paradise!
But alas! Monsieur Teddy soon will go beat himself[21] with the
boches! It is terrible to think because he is so good and beautiful!
I told you he have little wings white on him, because he go up in the
air?
Goodbye, dear godfather,
Your affeckshunate godchild,
Andrée Leblanc.
[20] Washing the vessels (_laver la vaisselle_) washing the dishes.
[21] Beat himself (_se battre_) to fight.
Greenville Falls, N.Y.
October 6, 1917.
Deer godchild,
I am sending you this letter in anser to yours quick, becaus I think
if you are not careful that Teddy will poison you with his eats.
The gum was bad enuf and I was jokin when I sed what I did about the
shoestring, but cross my heart and hope to dye, that feedin you cold
cream is the wust I ever herd, and what makes me feel so bad is there
is no one to warn you and he is stringin you on. Gee whiz, it makes
me sick to think of it! I have not been able to eat fer two days,
yesterday we had pancakes fer brekfast and I cood not eat enny and
mother sed, I wonder what ales James? And dad sed, In the spring a
yung mans fancy, and mother sed quick, It is not spring, Prendy, it is
fall, and I think it is his stummick that is turned and dad sed, No it
is his heart I have found his poitry, and mother sed, Well you may be
rite but I shall give him a dose of caster oil, You no the oil of the
caster, just like you had the oil of the codfish only this tests like
sam scratch see? Well I had to swaller some and it was feerce and fer
too cents I wood twist that teller Teddy's nose and stick my finger in
his eye. Gee whiz, and he wares white wings dose he, and jumps up
in the air. Some angel beleeve me, say mebbe he is a angel that has
fallen from the sky? or a acrobat from Barnums? only I guess if he
comes from Barnums he must be a freak al-rite. Ennyway until this yere
ends you are my godchild and I am your godfather, and I forbid you to
tuch enny more of that Teddys eats, understand? If you are hungry you
just tell me, and I will send you the proper food; and it will not be
gum, or cold-cream or candels ether, I can tell you. Why even Mr. le
Cure wood no enuf not to give you enny of those things. That Teddy is
not fit to have a godchild, and that is the hole story in a nutshell.
I dunno just what I shall do if he rites to me. Mebbe I will anser and
mebbe I wont. I guess I shall tell miss Betty about it. Have I ever
tole you about her? She lives in the big house on the hill next to Sid
Perkins and she has hare like, well like what you sed about Jean's,
like gold and sunshine, and big blue eyes and the cutest little chin
with a dimple rite in the middle, and when she smiles she makes me
think of the ferry queens you read about in books. I guess miss Betty
is the prettiest girl on earth al-rite. She was one of the folks what
let me give there dorenobs a extra polish, and she nos all about you
and now I have tole her about that Teddy, and she sez, I no just
how you feel about him Jimmy. It is a grate comfort to have someone
understand you if your family do not. And I askt her if she new enny
poitry in french I cood send you by way of conversashun, and she sez,
I remember just one, and here it is,
_"Je vous aime, je vous adore,
Que voulez vous done encore?"_
I thot that was kind of short but she sed if I sent this to you you
mite send that feler Teddy packin, but I guess you wont. I dont no
when I have had so much bad luck as I have had lately. Fust their was
the hoopincoff, then my blew legs, then I lost my firecrakers, and now
I guess I am going to lose you al-rite. I fergot to tell you their is
a new preecher hear called Herbit Hoover and he is a minister of
the gospel of the Clean Plate, and all us school boys have been
distributin little papers about it, the idee is, if you do not beleeve
in it you eat meat and wheat and everythin, and if you beleeve a
little you have meatless days and eat rye and no wheat, and if you get
the religion rele hard you lick your plate clean and eat pretty near
nothing at all. Ennyway nobody must eat sugar. Dad sez it is becaus
sugar has turned to dimonds, so we have sirup insted and it is pretty
good, the pancakes I was tellin you about was made with that. Mother
sez the sugar situashun is going to be rele bad. I hope their is some
left fer my birthday which is near Thanksgiving day. Say, you and I
come near bein twins do you no that? Just too weaks more and we wood
have been born together, only I wood have been your twin over here and
you wood have been my twin over there. Say woodnt that have been funny
though! Stranger things have happined though. It does seem sort of
strange to think those too weaks have made me your godfather and you
my godchild insted of us bein twins. I tole mother about it and she
sed she thot it was better the way it is. I have saved up 47 cents fer
your Christmas present I am not going to tell you what I wish you wood
do fer mine. I am going to see if you can guess it.
Your ever affeckshunate godfather,
James P. Jackson Jr.
18 rue d'Autancourt, Paris.
September 24, 1917.
My dear godfather:
I am afraid this letter can't be in my own style and handwriting this
time, for Mr. Teddy is here and I have asked him to help me with my
English, in exchange of my helping him with his French. My mind is
troubled and I think he can express my thought, so he has taken the
pen in hand, and I, sitting on a little stool at his feet, and gazing
up at him, try to make him understand what is in my mind.
But first of all Mr. Teddy wants to ask you to forgive him, if he
seems to be "butting in" and spoiling the game between you and your
godchild. Honor bright, he didn't mean to do it. It was fate. Just
blind, mysterious, and merciless fate that decreed that things should
happen as they did. Mr. Teddy may be a blessing in disguise, anyway
he couldn't be helped, and he has no excuse to offer, except, perhaps,
that he is alone in the world and homesick in a foreign land. He is
sorry you and he can't fight a duel over the situation, but I am very
glad. And Mr. Teddy wants to tell you, very seriously that he takes
off his hat to any little fellow of your size who can do the plucky
thing you have done, and keep it up so well. If grown up men all had
more of your spirit, he says, the war would be over long ago.
The object of this letter is as follows: I (your godchild) wish to
make amends. I wrote you yesterday, and didn't answer your letter.
Not a word did I say about it, except that I had received it, then
I prattled away all about another would-be godfather for whom you,
naturally, have no earthly use. And to-day my heart is filled with
remorse and my head is filled with fears lest you should think your
dear godchild is ungrateful, fickle, and flighty. I want to tell you
how every detail of your life--from knob-polishing and bug-swallowing
to poetry-writing is dear and precious to me. How I wish I could do
the same! How I live in eager expectation of your letters; how I gloat
and ponder over them when they come; and how deep is the gloom into
which I am plunged when they do not come! Mr. Teddy knows all that,
because I have somehow expressed it, and if I had striven to hide my
thought he would have guessed it, for he knows full well what goes on
in the hearts of little maids and gallant lads.
Therefore have I asked him to voice my deepest feelings in a poem that
will answer yours:
"IDEALIZATION"
By Andree Leblanc and
Yankee Teddy.
"_Though our eyes may never meet,
To me you're more than bread or meat,
You are the proud and noble knight
That I pray for every night.
You could stand up on burning decks,
While others ran to save their necks,
You would not fear the dreadful Hun,
In Freedom's cause you'd fire a gun.
A lad who never gets cold feet
Was not destined to know defeat,
But oh! thou child of many pray'rs
Beware of Jealousy's deep snares!"_
From your affectionate godchild,
Andrée Leblanc.
Greenville Falls
Oct. 10, 1917.
My dear Mr. Teddy,
Jimmy has just brought me your letter, in great excitement, and I am
taking the liberty of answering it myself, as I don't think he could
do himself justice under the present circumstances. Mr. Teddy, did you
ever have a soft spot for a little girl, when you were about eleven
or twelve? I had one for a little boy; he was older than I, about
fourteen; his name was Robert, and he had freckles; I think he
squinted, too, and he teased all the girls a great deal. I am sure
he was a very horrid little boy, as I look back, but at that time I
thought he was wonderful, and it almost broke my heart when he said
he had no use for little yellow-haired girls and took a girl with two
brown pigtails to a big children's party, instead of me.
Jimmy has a very soft spot for his godchild, and it is more than
a passing fancy with him. You see, his family, while not actually
poverty-stricken, are not as well off as they used to be, and Jimmy
has practically supported Andree himself all the year, through
countless little odd jobs. I have seen him on the coldest winter days,
chopping wood or going from door to door asking to shovel snow, and
his fingers were so red and frozen he could scarcely hold the shovel;
yet he was always ready, with a smile, to do more work for his "kid in
France." Andree is his godchild, his sister, his whole family to him;
and he shoulders the responsibility of looking after her with all
the seriousness of a little old man. Now, right in the middle of this
flourishing state of affairs you come, with your big American pockets
filled with elastic candy and bon-bons, and at a moment's notice
you produce cold-cream, perfumed with strawberry and vanilla, and
snow-covered cakes such as Jimmy can never hope to equal. What little
girl would not turn fickle to her first love in the presence of such
a display? At first Jimmy was filled with natural jealousy at your
intrusion. He was all for going over there and giving you a piece of
his mind; but since receiving your letter he has, almost incredibly,
come to feel sorry for you because, as he says, "it must be pretty
tuf to be all alone over there, and I guess he thinks my godchild is
a peach, all right." And Jimmy is right; you must be so very very
lonesome! And yet couldn't we manage to cheer you up a little without
taking Jimmy's godchild away from him? I don't know of any little
godchild I could give you in exchange, but I do know of a girl who
lives with an invalid mother in a big white house on a hill, and who
would only be too glad to have a soldier for a godson and send him
little packages of cigarettes, and pictures of movie stars (of which
she has a great collection) and--oh tell him about home and friends
and people and everything.
I am sending you this letter care of Andrée Leblanc; if you would care
for the arrangement I suggest, would you let me know?
Sincerely yours,
Elizabeth Winslow
18 rue d'Autancourt, Paris.
November 2, 1917.
My dear godfather:
Jules has received a wound, and he is very joyful because it make him
not to die; on the contrary it make him cited at the order of the
day and decorated with the Médaille Militaire. He make two boches
prisoners and catch them with one hand because the other had the very
bad hurt. And then he fainted himself on the ground and the Cross Red
pick him and conduct him at a great hospital in Paris. And Tuesday
Maman and Marie go to see him and take him the lemonade. And yesterday
Monsieur Teddy ask Maman the permission to take me to see him also and
she say yes and we go. We ride in the tramway pending a long time
and I give Monsieur Teddy a lesson of French, and he say nothing
but, _oui, oui_ and _chic alors--zut alors_! And all the
travelers regard us and laugh and Monsieur Teddy laugh also. But when
we arrive at the hospital he laugh not at all. He take my hand and I
keep it very tight because I am frighten. It is very beautiful, the
hospital. There is the great garden with trees and flat bands[22] and
the soldier sentinel at the door. Inside it is all white and dark,
a little like the church, and it smell of pharmacy and nobody make a
noise. A lady white conduct us up the stairs and open a door, and I
see a great number of beds in lines with Poilus in them. When they see
the uniform American some make the salute military and I feel myself
very proud. Jules was so content he say it make his hurt to go away
immediately. And Teddy sit on a chair and give cigarettes and try to
make conversation with his hands. And I sit on the bed and make talk
with two tongues and ten fingers also. And Teddy say he will come
again see brother Jules all the Sundays and Thursdays and console him
until he go to fly away. Very sure he is one angel, Mr. Teddy! And
he go up in the heavens with the wings! Oh little foolish godfather!
Understand you not he is one aviator? And you must not be in anger
when he give me the good things to eat. Perhaps in Amerique the cold
cream is bad, but in Paris it make you not sick, on the contrary. I
show not your letter to Mr. Teddy because you say for two cents
you twist his nose and his eyes and it is not very genteel, dear
godfather. When you think wickedness the bon Dieu punish you. It is
because you think wickedness of Mr. Teddy that you become sick and
cannot to eat the pancakes, and must drink the oil of the caster.
I am content that the Miss Betty understand you and you tell her all
things, and she is like the ferry with the twisted hairs. Hairs like
gold is very pretty for little boys like Jean, but on ladies it look
like the sun have fade the color. Thank you for the poetry she make.
But my great sister see it and she say to Maman: "These infants write
great foolishness all the time. If it continues we must give Andree
no more stamps of five sous. We will make the economy and send only
a card postal all the three months when the Comité Americain send the
silver of the godfather."
And I am very unhappy because Maman will not permit me to polish
door-knobs like you and gain silver for the stamps of five sous. But
little Jean come squeeze my neck and console me, and say he will work
and become rich to purchase the stamps of five sous. Poor little! He
know not what it is the life, but he is one brave little man, and I
think he will resemble to you, dear godfather. Oh, I forget, in my
other letter I write when Mr. Teddy come, to say I desire very much
your portrait where you are grinning, like you say. I love much the
grinning godfather. I will place you above my bed, under the branch of
blessed box. My Papa is there also, and I embrace him all the nights,
before I lie down.
Dear little godfather, I am very recognizing[23] that you guard 47
sous for my Christmas. Alas, I can never enough say thank you for all
you do, and I can never render it to you! It make me full of sorry
when I think that. With Maman I essay to guess what you want I do. I
will make something with my proper hands, and Maman will aid. You will
love a pair of slippers embroidered, or a shawl (I want say a scarf)
or a bonnet of aviator? Tell me, I pray of you,