CHAPTER III

STRASBURG AND BADEN-BADEN

We are on our way to the Passion Play, and although each of the four of

us is a monument of amiability when taken individually, as a quartet we

sometimes clash. At present we are fighting over the route we shall take

between Paris and Oberammergau. Bee and Mrs. Jimmie have replenished

their wardrobes in the Rue de la Paix, and wish to follow the trail of

American tourists going to Baden-Baden, while Jimmie and I, having

rooted out of a German student in the Latin Quarter two or three unknown

carriage routes through the mountains which lead to unknown spots not

double starred, starred, or even mentioned in Baedeker, are wondering

how the battle between clothes and Bohemianism will end.

We arrived at Strasburg still in an amiable wrangle, but all four agreed

on seeing the clock which has made the town famous. Our time was so

limited that there was not, as is often the case, an opportunity for all

four of us to get our own way.

Anybody who did not know her, would imagine by the quiet way that Bee

has let the subject of Baden-Baden alone for the whole day, that she had

quite given up going there, but I know Bee. She has left Jimmie and me

to defend the front of the fortress, while she is bringing all her

troops up in the rear. Bee does not believe in a charge with plenty of

shouting and galloping and noise. Bee's manoeuvres never raise any dust,

but on a flank movement, a midnight sortie or an ambush, Bee could

outgeneral Napoleon and Alexander and General Grant and every other man

who has helped change the maps of the world. Only by indication and past

sad experience do I know what she is up to. One thing to-day has given

me a clue. I have a necktie--the only really saucy thing about the whole

of my wardrobe, the only distinguishing smartness to my toilet--upon

which Bee has fixed her affection, and which she means to get away from

me. I don't know how I came to buy it in the first place. However, I

sha'n't have it long. Bee is bargaining for it--that means that we are

going to Baden-Baden. She is not openly bargaining, for that would let

me know how much she wants it, but she has admired it pointedly. She

tied my veil on for me this morning, and even as I write, she is sewing

a button on my glove. Bee in the politest way possible is going to force

me to give her that tie. I wish she wouldn't, for I really need it, but

I must get all the wear I expect to have out of it in the next two days,

for by the end of the week, if these attentions continue, that Charvet

tie will belong to Bee.

Last night, as soon as we arrived and had our dinner, we went to the

Orangerie. This great park with myriads of walks is one of the most

attractive things about Strasburg. A very good band was playing a Sousa

march as we came in and took our seats at one of the little tables.

But just here let me record something which has surprised me all during

my travels in Europe; and that is the small amount of good music one

hears outside of opera. I have always imagined Germany to be

distinguished equally by her music and her beer. I have not been

disappointed in the beer, for it is there by the tub, but as to the

music, there is not in my opinion in the whole of Germany or Austria one

such as Sousa's, and as to men choruses, not one that I have heard, and

I have followed them closely wherever I heard of their existence, is to

be compared with any of our College Glee Clubs. In my opinion the casual

open-air music of Germany is another of the disappointments of

Europe--to be set down in the same category with the linden trees of

Berlin and the trousers of the French Army.

German music seems to be too universally indulged in to be good. It is

performed with more earnestness than skill and the programme is gone

through with with more fervour than taste. The musicians of a typical

German band dig through the evening's numbers with the same dogged

perseverance and perspiration that they would exercise in tunnelling

through a mountain. In this connection I am not speaking of any of the

trained orchestras, but solely of the band music that one hears all

through the Rhine land. It is only tradition that Germans are the most

musical people in the world, for in my opinion the rank and file of

Germans have no ear for key. That they listen well and perform earnestly

is perfectly true. That they respect music and give it proper attention

is equally true, but that they know the difference between a number

performed with no expression, with one or two instruments or voices, as

the case may be, entirely out of pitch, and the same number correctly

rendered, is impossible to believe by one who has watched them as

carefully as I.

Sousa once made the statement to the American Press that in his opinion

the American nation was the most musical nation in the world. He based

this astonishing belief, which was violently attacked by the

German-American Press, upon his observation of his audiences and by the

street music, even including whistling and singing. I agree with his

opinion with all my heart. In an American audience of the most common

sort an instrument off the key or improperly tuned will be sure to be

detected. It may be, nay, it probably is true, that the person so

detecting the discord will not know where the trouble lies or of what it

consists, but his ear, untrained as it is, tells him that something is

wrong, and he shows his discomfort and disapproval. I claim that the

ordinary American--the common or garden variety of American--has a more

correct ear than the common or garden variety of German. I claim that

the rank and file in America is for this reason more truly musical than

the same class in the German nation, although the German nation has a

technical knowledge of music which it will take the Americans a thousand

years to equal. For this reason an open-air concert in America is so

much more enjoyable both from the numbers selected and the spirit of

their playing, that the two performances are not to be mentioned in the

same day.

A criticism which the wayfaring man will whip out to floor me at this

point, viz., that nearly all performers in American bands are Germans,

will not cause me to wink an eyelash, for the effect of American

audiences on German performers has raised the standard of their music so

that I am informed by Germans and Austrians that the most annoying,

irritating, and insulting factor in their otherwise peaceful lives is

the return of a German-American to his native heath. They tell me that

his arrogance and conceit are unbearable--that he claims that Americans

alone know how to make practical use of the technical knowledge of the

German--that the Teuton gathers the knowledge, the Yankee applies it.

This goes to prove my point.

We Americans are a curious people. We get better music under our own

vine and fig-tree than they have anywhere else in the world but we don't

know it. There is no such band on earth as Sousa's, no better orchestra

than Theodore Thomas's or the Boston Symphony, and we hear the

Metropolitan and French operas.

Take also our chamber music and from that come down to our street

ballads, and then to the whistling and singing heard in the streets,

with no thought of audience or even listeners.

I have followed German music closely, and I claim that German

musicians, or rather let me say German producers of music, lack ear just

about half of the time. Their students cannot compare with our college

singing, their pedestrian parties, which one meets all through the

country, singing, often from notes (and if you take the trouble to

inquire, they will frequently tell you with pride that they belong to

such and such a singing society) almost drive sensitive ears crazy. But

they love it--they adore music, they take such comfort out of it, that

one is forced to forgive this lack of ear and this polyglot pitch, or

else be considered a churl.

The Orangerie has, however, a very good average band--for Germany. The

picture of the great crowd of people gathered at little tables around

the band-stand, whole families together; of a tiny boy baby, just able

to toddle around, being dragged about by an enormous St. Bernard dog,

whose chain the baby tugged at most valiantly; the long dim avenues

under the trees where an occasional young couple lost themselves from

fathers and mothers; the music; the cheerful beer-drinking; the general

air of rosy-cheeked contentment has formed in my mind a most agreeable

recollection of the Orangerie of Strasburg.

Strasburg has, however, much more to boast of than her clock. The city

was founded by the Romans, and in the middle ages was one of the most

powerful of the free cities of the German Empire, on the occasions of

imperial processions her citizens enjoying the proud distinction of

having their banner borne second only to the imperial eagle.

Then, because of its strategical importance, in a time of peace, Louis

XIV. of France seized the city of Strasburg, and this delicate attention

on his part was confirmed by the Peace of Ryswick in 1679, thereby

giving Strasburg to France. The French kept it nearly two hundred years,

but Germany got it back at the Peace of Frankfort, 1871, and it is now

the capital of German Alsace and Lorraine.

I never think of Alsace and Lorraine that I do not recall the statue in

the Place de la Concorde, with gay coloured wreaths looking more like a

festival of joy than mourning,--in fact I never think of Paris mourning

for anything, from a relative to a dead dog, that I can keep my

countenance.

On the Jour des Morts, I once went to the Père-Lachaise and found in the

family lot of a duchesse with a grand name, a stuffed dog of the rare

old breed known as mongrel. In America he would have slouched at the

heels of a stevedore--or any sort of a man who shuffles in his walk and

smokes a short black pipe. But this yellow cur was in a glass case

mounted on a marble pedestal, and his yellowness in life was represented

by a coat of small yellow beads put on in patches where the hair had

disappeared. His yellow glass eyes peered staringly at the passer-by and

his tomb was literally heaped with expensive _couronnes_ tied with long

streamers of crape, while _couronnes_ on the grass-grown tomb of the

defunct husband of the duchesse, buried in the back of the lot behind

the dog, were conspicuous by their absence. I wondered if the widow took

this ingenious method of publishing to the world that in life her

husband had been less to her than her dog.

Paris crape is this slippery, shiny sort of stuff, like thin

haircloth--the kind they used to cover furniture with. It is made up

into "costumes" which have such an air of fashion that the deceased

relative is instantly forgotten in one's interest in the cut and fit of

the gown. A butterfly of a bonnet, a tiny face veil coming just to the

tip of the nose, with the long one in the back sweeping almost to the

ground, completes a picture of such a jaunty grief, such a saucy sorrow,

that one would be quite willing to lose one or two distant relatives in

order to be clad in such a manner.

The University of Strasburg changed its nationality as often as the

town, but not at the same time. In one of its German periods Goethe

graduated there as doctor of laws--which fact ought to be better known.

At least _I_ didn't know it. But Bee says that doesn't signify, because

I know so little. But Bee only says that when she has asked me some

stupid date that nobody ever knows or ever did know except in a history

class.

The next day after our evening at the Orangerie, at half after eleven,

we went to the Cathedral to see the clock. It only performs all its

functions at noon, and as there is always a crowd of tourists about it,

we went early.

The most wonderful feature of this clock to Jimmie is that it regulates

itself and adapts its motions to the revolutions of the seasons, year

after year and year after year, as if it had a wonderful living human

mind somewhere in its insides. Its perpetual calendar, too, is a marvel!

How can that insensate clock tell when to put twenty-eight days and when

to give thirty-one, when I can't even do it myself without saying:

"Thirty days hath September,

April, June, and November,

All the rest have thirty-one,

Except February alone,

Which has but twenty-eight in fine

Till leap-year gives it twenty-nine."

And who tells that clock when leap year comes, and when the moon

changes, and when it's going to rain, and when hoop-skirts will be worn

again? Wonderful people, these Germans.

We were there on Monday when the clock struck noon. Monday is the day

when Diana steps out upon the first gallery. Each day has its

deity--Apollo on Sunday, Diana on Monday, etc.

On the first gallery an angel strikes the quarters on a bell in his

little mechanical hand. Then a gentleman who has nothing else to do the

whole year round reverses an hour-glass each hour in the twenty-four; so

that you can tell the time by counting the grains of sand or by glancing

at the face of the clock,--whichever way you have been brought up to

tell time.

Above this there is a skeleton, which strikes the hours, and evidently

cheerfully reminds us what our end will be, around which are grouped the

quarter-hours, represented by the four figures, boyhood, youth, manhood,

and old age.

But the two most remarkable things are those which crown the clock. In

the highest niche, at noon, the twelve apostles, also representing the

hours, come out of a door and march around the figure of the Saviour.

Judas hangs his head, and the eyes of the Christ follow him until he

disappears. Then on the highest pinnacle of all, a cock comes out,

preens himself, flaps his wings, and gives such an exultant crow that

Peter pauses in his walk, then drops his head forward on his breast, and

so passes out of sight.

When the performance is over, the crowd melts away. Some few stay to do

the Cathedral, but we went to luncheon. At luncheon it was decided to go

to Baden-Baden. Jimmie and I compromised on three days of it.

There is nothing particularly interesting about the journey thither.

When you come to the village of Oos, you get off the train and take a

little train which is waiting on a siding, and in less than five

minutes, before you have time to sit down, in fact, you are at Baden, at

the entrance of the Black Forest, and find it beautiful.

It was the height of the season and we went to a very smart hotel, where

they have very badly dressed people, because nearly everybody there

except us had money and titles.

Now the height of the season at any watering-place depresses me. If I

could wear fern seed in my shoes to make me invisible, and sit on the

_piazza_ railing in a shirt-waist and a short skirt, I would love it.

But both Bee and Mrs. Jimmie, with the light of heaven in their eyes,

pulled out and put on their most be-yew-tiful Paris clothes, and if I do

say it of my sister--well, for modesty's sake, I will only say that Mrs.

Jimmie looked ripping. _I_ was happily travelling with a steamer trunk

and a big hat-box, and had hitherto rejoiced that my lack of clothes

would prevent my being obliged to dress. I thought perhaps Jimmie and I

would be allowed to roam about hunting little queer restaurants like Old

Tom's or the Cheshire Cheese. But when Jimmie's boyish face appeared

over a white expanse of tucked shirt front, I sank down in a dejected

heap.

"And thou, Brutus?" I said.

"Couldn't help it," he answered, laconically. "We'd better give in

handsomely for three days. It'll pay us in the end. Get into your 'glad

rags' and be good."

"But I didn't bring my 'glad rags,'" I said.

Just then Bee looked around from fastening a lace butterfly in her hair

on a jewelled spiral.

"I had two extra trays in my trunk and I put a few of your things in.

Would you like to wear your lace gown? You've never even tried it on."

My mouth flew open, contrary to politeness and my excellent bringing-up.

Jimmie collapsed with a silent grin, while I meekly followed Bee into my

room.

When I saw my new gown all full of rolls of tissue-paper, packed by poor

dear Bee, I went to my trunk and pulled out my smart Charvet tie. I

handed it to her in silence.

"Take it," I said. "I hate to give it up, but you deserve it."

Bee accepted it gratefully.

"It's good of you to give it to me," she said. "You really need it more

than I do, only this peculiar shade of blue is so becoming to me. I'll

tell you what I'll do though," she added, heroically. "I'll _lend_ it to

you whenever you want it."

I thanked her, dressed, and then humbly trailed down to dinner in the

wake of my gorgeous party.

Jimmie had engaged a table on the piazza, nearest the street and

commanding the best view of all the other diners. I very willingly sat

with my back to all the people, with the panorama of the Lichtenthaler

Strasse passing before my eyes, and in quiet moments the sounds of the

great military band playing on the promenade in front of the

_Conversationshaus_ coming to our ears.

A great deal of grandeur always makes me homesick. It isn't envy. I

don't want to be a princess and have the bother of winding a horn for my

outriders when I want to run to the drug-store for postage stamps, but

pomp depresses me. Everybody was strange, foreign languages were pelting

me from the rear, noiseless flunkies were carrying pampered lap-dogs

with crests on their nasty little embroidered blankets, fat old women

with epilepsy and gouty old men with scrofula, representing the

aristocracy at its best, were being half carried to and from tables, and

the degeneracy of noble Europe was being borne in upon my soul with a

sickening force.

The purple twilight was turning black on the distant hills, and the

silent stars were slowly coming into view. Clean, health-giving

Baden-Baden, in the Valley of the Oos, with its beauty and its pure air,

was holding out her arms to all the disease and filth that degenerate

riches produce.

I wasn't exactly blue, but I was gently melancholy. Jimmie was smoking,

and Bee and Mrs. Jimmie had their heads together, casting politely

furtive glances at a table which held royalty. I certainly _was_ feeling

neglected.

Suddenly a voice in English at my elbow said:

"Pardon me, madame, but were not you at the Grand Hotel at Rome last

winter?"

"Yes," I said.

"I mean no impertinence in addressing you. I am the head waiter there in

winter, here in summer. I remembered you at once, and I came to say that

if anything goes wrong with any of your distinguished party during your

stay, I shall count it a favour if you will permit me to remedy it. The

hotel is at your disposal. I will send a private maid to attend you

during your stay. I hope you will be happy here, madame."

Then with a bow he was gone.

I was in a state of exhilaration inside which threatened to break

through at the sudden attentions of my party.

"Who's your friend?" said Jimmie.

"How nice of him!" commented his wife.

"Servants never remember me, yet I always fee better than you do,"

complained Bee.

"Console yourself. It is only porters and head waiters who care whether

I am happy or not," I said, bitterly.

"Deary me!" said Jimmie, sitting up. "Come, let's get out of this. We

must walk her over where she'll hear some music and see some pretty

lights or she'll drown herself in her bath to-morrow."

We went, we promenaded, we showed our clothes, and came home smirking

with satisfaction. We had been pointed out everywhere for Americans,

which spoke volumes for our clothes and the smallness of our feet.

During two mortal weeks we stayed at Baden-Baden, taking the baths,

improving our German and driving through the Black Forest and the Oos

Valley to the green hills beyond.

Then on one happy day we were all packed to go. We sent our trunks

down, saw every drawer emptied, pulled the bed to pieces, looked under

it and decided that _this_ time we hadn't left so much as a pin. Bee

stuck her "_blaue cravatte_," as we now called the necktie, under the

bureau mat to put on when we came up, and then we snatched a hasty

luncheon. In the meantime we turned our "private maid" and the

chambermaid loose to see if we had overlooked anything.

When we came up they were still rummaging, but had found nothing.

Bee hurried to the bureau and looked under the mat. No tie. She asked

the two women. They had not seen it. Then everybody hunted. Jimmie swore

we had packed it. But Bee's gray eyes turned to green as she watched the

flurried movements of the two maids. She walked up to them.

"Give me that blue necktie," she said, in awful German.

At that Jimmie, who hates a row when it is not of his own making,

interfered and insisted that we must have packed it--he remembered

numbers of times when we had made a fuss over nothing--it was of no

account anyway, and if we would only come along and not miss the train

he would send back to Charvet and get Bee another "_blaue cravatte_."

"For heaven's sake, take that man downstairs," I said to Mrs. Jimmie,

"and let us manage this affair."

So poor Jimmie was whisked from the scene of action, still protesting

and gesticulating, and being soothed but marched steadily onward by his

wife.

When we came down we were heated but unsuccessful. I insisted upon

reporting the affair to my friend the head waiter. He almost went back

on his devotion to me in his assurances that those maids were honest.

Then Jimmie had to come up and interfere, and those two men decided that

we had packed it.

Bee was in a cold ladylike fury.

We gave all the servants double fees to assure them that meanness had

not prompted the search, and got into the carriage.

"Remember," said Bee, "I claim that one of those women has that tie in

her pocket now, because all four of us looked every inch of the rooms

over together. I advise you to have them searched. On the other hand I

will telegraph you from Nuremberg if I find it in my trunks."

We had half an hour before the train left. Bee, who was riding backward,

kept looking out down the road whence we had come with a curious

expression on her face. Jimmie, in spite of warning pressures from his

wife's foot, kept sputtering about women's poor memories, etc. Bee

didn't even seem to hear.

Presently, in a cloud of dust, up drove one of the men from the hotel,

with a little package in his hand.

"_Blaue cravatte,_" he said, bowing.

"Where did you find it?" demanded Mrs. Jimmie.

"Between the mattress and the springs of the bed. Madame must have put

it there to press it."

Jimmie looked sheepish and put us into the train with a red face. Bee

simply slipped the tie into her satchel and put on her travelling-cap

without a word, and began to read. Bee never nags or crows.

So much for Baden-Baden.

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