"Alas! how light a cause may move
Dissensions between hearts that love!
Hearts that the world in vain had tried,
And sorrow but more closely tied;
That stood the storm when waves were rough,
Yet in the sunny hour, fall off,
Like ships that have gone down at sea,
When heaven was all tranquillity!"
MOORE.
"Peace and quiet and rest for you at last!" cried Dr. Bryant, as they
drove into the village of Washington, and, by dint of much trouble and
exertion, procured a small and comfortless house. But a bright fire
soon blazed in the broad, deep, old-fashioned chimney--the windows and
doors closed--their small stock of furniture and provisions unpacked,
and a couch prepared for Mary, now far too feeble to sit up. The
members of the safe and happy party gathered about the hearth, and
discussed hopefully their future prospects. Dr. Bryant raised his
eyes to the somewhat insecure roof, through which the light of day
occasionally stole in, and exclaimed:
"'And doth a roof above me close?'"
"Not such a one as greeted Mazeppa on regaining his senses, Frank;
rather insecure, 'tis true, yet somewhat better than the canvas
covering for which we have been so grateful of late."
Dr. Bryant leaned his elbow on the mantel-piece, and fell into a fit
of musing, not unusual to him since leaving San Antonio. The servant
disturbed his reverie by requesting room for her cooking utensils.
He raised his head as she spoke, and then, as if utterly unconscious,
dropped it again, without reply.
"A cigar for your thoughts, Bryant!" said Mr. Stewart, and linking his
arm in that of his friend they turned away. Florence approached
her cousin, and bending over the wasted form, asked if she were not
already better.
Mary lifted her arms to her cousin's neck, and for a moment strove to
press her to her heart, but strength had failed rapidly of late, and
they sank wearily by her side. Florence sat down and took both hands
between hers.
"Tell me, dear, if you are in pain?"
"No, Florry, I do not suffer much now; I am at present free from all
pain. I have not had an opportunity of talking with you for some time.
Florry, tell me, are you very happy?"
"Yes, Mary, I am very happy--happier than I ever was before; and far
more so than I deserve. Oh! Mary, how miserable I have been; and it
is by contrast that the transition is so delightful. I doubted the
goodness and mercy of God; and, in the bitterness of my heart, I
asked why I had been created for so much suffering. Oh, Mary! my
pure-hearted, angel cousin, how much of my present happiness I owe to
you. Suppose you had suffered me to wander on in the maze of darkness.
At this moment I should have been a desolate, deluded, miserable nun;
clinging to a religion which, instead of Bible truths, filled the
anxious, aching heart with monkish legends of unattested miracles, and
in place of the pure worship of God, gives us mummeries nearer akin
to pagan rites! I thank God that I am released from my thraldom. I
see now the tissue of falsehood so plausible in which all things were
wrapped. Blackness and deceit in the garb of truth and purity! And
it is horrible, to think that he who so led me astray claims to be my
brother! Mary, Mary, how can I tell Mr. Stewart this?--tell him that I
have wandered from the true faith--that I have knelt in confession to
him who cursed our common father! He will despise me for my weakness:
for only yesterday he said he first loved me for my clear insight into
right and wrong, and my scorn of deceit and hypocrisy! Yet I deceived
you; at least, tacitly--you who have ever loved me so truly, you
who have saved me at last, and pointed out the road to heaven. Mary,
forgive me! I never asked pardon of any on earth before, but I wronged
you, good and gentle though you always were. Forgive me, oh, my
cousin!"
Mary clasped Florence's hands in hers, and though too feeble to speak
very audibly, replied:
"Florry, think not of the past; it has been very painful to us both,
yet I thank God that you are right at last. You know how I love you:
I would give every treasure of earth to contribute to your happiness;
and now that you are so blest, listen to my counsel. Florry, there is
a cloud no bigger than a man's hand resting low on the horizon of your
happiness--be warned in time. You know Mr. Stewart's firm, unwavering
principals of Protestantism; you know, too the aversion with which he
regards the priests of Rome; it may be a hard task now, but it will be
tenfold more difficult a year hence. Go to him at once, tell him you
were misguided and deceived, and reveal every circumstance connected
with that unhappy period. He will love you more for your candor.
Florry, you turn pale, as though unequal to the task. Oh, my cousin,
you prize his love more than truth; but the time will come when he
will prize truth more than your love! Florry, let me beg you tell him
all, and at once." She sank back, as if exhausted by her effort in
speaking so long, yet firmly retained Florence's hand.
"Mary, if I do this, it is at the risk of losing his esteem, which
I prize even more than his love. And after all, _I_ cannot see that
truth or duty requires this humiliating confession. Should he ever
question me, I should scorn to deceive him, and at once should tell
him all. But he does not suspect it, and _I_, being no longer in
danger or blinded, need not reveal the past."
Mournfully Mary regarded her beautiful cousin.
"Florry, if you conceal nothing now, he will esteem you more than ever
for hazarding his love in the cause of truth. If, in after years,
he discovers the past, he will tell you that, silently at least, you
deceived him, and reproach you with want of candor and firmness. Oh!
there is a fearful risk to run; he will never place confidence in you
again--be warned in time."
The entrance of Aunt Lizzy and Mrs. Carlton prevented further
conversation, and unclasping Mary's fingers, Florence disengaged her
hand and left the room.
Two days passed in furnishing and arranging their new home, and Mary
saw but little of her cousin. As evening closed in again, the invalid
watched from her couch the countenance of Mr. Stewart, as he sat
earnestly conversing with her aunt. Florence and Mr. and Mrs. Carlton
were out making some necessary purchases, and Dr. Bryant had been
absent on business of his own since morning.
"Florence is too young to marry, or even dream of it, at present, Mr.
Stewart; and besides, if I must be candid, I have always entertained
different views for her."
"Pardon me, but I believe I scarcely comprehend your meaning. You
speak of other views for her; may I venture to ask the nature of
these?"
"I have never expected her to marry at all, Mr. Stewart."
"And why not, pray? What can you urge in favor of your wishes?"
"I had her own words to that effect, scarce a month ago."
A proud, happy smile played round his lips, and he replied: "She may
have thought so then, but I think her views have changed."
"But for Mary, she would have been the same;" and a bitter look passed
over her wrinkled face.
"Excuse me, if I ask an explanation of your enigmatical language;
there is some hidden meaning, I well know."
"Mr. Stewart, your mother and I are old friends, and I wish you well;
but all good Catholics love their church above every earthly thing. I
should like to see Florence happy, but her eternal good should first
be secured; you are a Protestant, and bitterly opposed to our Holy
Church, and I cannot consent to see her marry a heretic, for such you
are: she is too far astray already."
"If your niece were herself a Papist, your reason would indeed be
a cogent one; but, under existing circumstances, I am puzzled to
understand you."
"Were it not for Mary's influence, Florence would even now rest in the
bosom of our Holy Church. She has done her cousin a grievous wrong;
may God and the blessed Virgin forgive her!"
Mary groaned in spirit, as she marked the stern glance of his eagle
eye, and feebly raising herself, she said: "Mr. Stewart, will you take
this seat beside the sofa? I wish to speak with you."
Aunt Lizzy left the room hurriedly, as though she had already said too
much, and silently he complied with Mary's request.
"You are pained and perplexed at what my aunt has just said; allow me
to explain what may seem a great mystery. You are not aware that my
uncle died a Papist. Weakened in body and mind by disease, he was
sought and influenced in secret, when I little dreamed of such a
change. On his death-bed he embraced the Romish faith, and, as I have
since learned, exacted from Florry a promise to abide by the advice
of his priest, in spiritual as well as temporal matters. He expired
in the act of taking the sacrament, and our desolation of heart can be
better imagined than described--left so utterly alone and unprotected,
far from our relatives and the friends of our youth. I now marked a
change in Florry, though at a loss to account for it. An influence,
secret as that exerted on her lost parent, was likewise successful
and, to my grief and astonishment, I found that she too had embraced
papacy."
The door opened and Florence entered. She started on seeing her lover,
but advanced to them much as usual. He raised his head, and cold and
stern was the glance he bent on her beautiful face. She stood beside
him, and rising, he placed a chair for her in perfect silence. Mary's
heart ached, as she noted the marble paleness which overspread her
cousin's cheek. Mr. Stewart folded his arms across his chest, and said
in a low, stern, yet mournful tone:
"Florence, I could not have believed that you would have deceived me,
as you have silently done."
Mournfully Florence looked for a moment on Mary's face, yet there was
no reproach in her glance; it seemed but to say--"You have wakened me
from my dream of happiness."
She lifted proudly her head, and fixed her dark eye full on her lover.
"Explain yourself, Mr. Stewart; I have a right to know with what I am
charged, though I almost scorn to refute that of deceit."
"Not a week since, Florence, you heard me avow my dislike of the
tenets and practises of the Romish Church. I said then, as now, that
no strong-minded, intelligent woman of the present age could consult
the page of history and then say that she conscientiously believed its
doctrines to be pure and scriptural, or its practises in accordance
with the teachings of our Saviour. You tacitly concurred in my
opinions. Florence, did you tell me you had once held those doctrines
in reverence? Nay, that even now you lean to papacy?" Stern was his
tone, and cold and slightly contemptuous his glance.
A bitter, scornful smile wreathed the lips of his betrothed. "I
acknowledge neither the authority of questioning, nor allow the
privilege of any on earth to impugn my motives or my actions. Had I
felt it incumbent on me to acquaint you with every circumstance of my
past life, I should undoubtedly have done so, when you offered me your
hand. I felt no obligation to that effect, and consequently consulted
my own inclinations. If, for a moment, you had doubted me, or asked an
explanation of the past, I should have scorned to dissemble with you;
and now that the subject is broached you shall have the particulars,
which, I assure you, have kept well, though, as you suppose, sometime
withheld. I have been a member of the Church of Rome: I have prayed
to saints and the Virgin, counted beads and used holy water, and
have knelt in confession to a priest of papal Rome. I did all this,
thinking, for a time, my salvation dependent on it. You know all now."
Mr. Stewart regarded her sadly as she uttered these words, and his
stern tone softened as he noticed her bloodless cheek and quivering
lip.
"Florence, it is not your former belief or practise that gives me this
pain, and saddens our future. If you were at this moment a professor
of the Romish faith, I would still cherish and trust you: I should
strive to convince you of your error--to point out the fallacy of your
hopes. When I recall the circumstances by which you were surrounded,
and the influences exerted, I scarcely wonder that, for a time, you
lent your credence and support. But, Florence, full well you know that
this is not what pains me. It is the consciousness that you have
kept me in ignorance of what your own heart told you would show your
momentary weakness, and led me to suppose you entertained a belief at
variance with your practise. You have feared my displeasure more than
the disregard of truth and candor. Florence, Florence! knowing how
well I loved you, and what implicit confidence I reposed in you, how
could you do this?"
"Again, Mr. Stewart, I repeat that I perceive no culpability in my
conduct. Had I felt it my duty, your love or indifference would not
have weighed an atom in my decision to act according to my sense of
right and wrong."
He turned from her, and paced to and fro before the fire. Florence
would have left the room, but Mary clasped her dress, and detained
her.
"Mr. Stewart, you have been too harsh and hasty in your decision, and
too severe in your remarks. Florry has not forfeited your love, though
she acted imprudently. Ask your own heart whether you would be willing
to expose to her eye your every foible and weakness. For you, like all
God's creatures, have faults of your own. Is there nothing you have
left untold relative to your past? Oh! if you knew how deep and
unutterable has been her love, even when she never again expected to
meet you, you would forget this momentary weakness--a fault committed
from the very intensity of her love, and fear lest she should sink in
your estimation."
"Mary, if she had said, Dudley, I have not always felt as now, and my
mind was darkened for a time, I should have loved her, if possible,
more than before, for her noble candor. My own heart would have told
me, This is one in whom you may eternally trust, for she risked the
forfeiture of your love in order that truth might be unsullied.
How can I confide in one who values the esteem of man more than
the approval of her own conscience? You have said her love was a
palliation. No, you are wrong; it is an aggravation of her fault. She
should have loved me too well to suffer me to discover by chance
what should have been disclosed in confidence. Mary, her love is not
greater than mine. None know how I have cherished her memory--how I
have kept her loved image in my heart during our long separation. I
would give every earthly joy or possession to retain her affection,
for it is dearer to me than everything beside, save truth, candor, and
honesty. I have nothing to conceal from her; I would willingly bare
my secret soul to her scrutiny. There is nothing I should wish to keep
back, unless it be the pain of this hour."
He paused by her side, and looked tenderly on the pale, yet lovely
face of Florence.
"Mr. Stewart, shall one fault forever destroy your confidence in
Florry, when she has declared that had she thought it incumbent on her
to speak of these things--if she had felt as you do, she asserts that
nothing could have prevented her revealing every circumstance."
"Mary, I fear her code of morality is somewhat too lax; and the fact
that she acknowledges no fault is far more painful than any other
circumstance."
"Mary, I have omitted one thing which I wish him to know. I neglected
to inform you, that the priest to whom I confessed is my half-brother!
I have now told you all; and thinking as you do, it is better that in
future we forget the past and be as strangers to each other. That I
have loved you fervently, I can never forget--neither your assertion
that I am unworthy of your confidence."
She disengaged her dress from Mary's clasp, and turned toward the
door. Mr. Stewart caught her hand, and firmly held it. She struggled
not to release herself, but lifted her dark eyes to his, and calmly
met his earnest glance.
"Florence!"
There was a mournful tenderness in the deep tone. Her lip quivered,
still her eyes fell not beneath his, piercing as an eagle's.
"Mr Stewart, you have wronged her; you have been too severe." And Mary
clasped his hand tightly, and looked up appealingly. He withdrew his
hand.
"Florence, this is a bitter, bitter hour to me. Yet I may have judged
too harshly: we will forget the past, and, in future, let no such
cloud come between us."
"Not so, Mr. Stewart: if I am unworthy, how can you expect confidence
from me? Think you I will change the code which you just now
pronounced too lax? Oh! you know not what you have done. It is no
light thing to tell a woman of my nature she is unworthy of the love
she prized above every earthly thing!" Her voice, despite her efforts,
faltered.
"Florence, I have been too severe in my language, and you too proud
and haughty. Full well we know that without the love of each other
life would be joyless to both. Ours is not a common love; and again I
say, let us forget the past, while, in future, need I ask you to keep
nothing from me?"
He drew her to him as he spoke, and passing his arm round her, pressed
her to his heart. A long time Florence hid her head on his shoulder,
as if struggling with her emotion, and then a heavy sob relieved her
troubled heart. Closer he clasped her to him, and, laying his cheek on
hers, murmured:
"My own darling Florence, forgive me, if I misjudged you; tell me
that you will not remember my words--that this hour shall be to us a
painful dream,"
She withdrew from his embrace, and, lifting her head, replied:
"I was wrong to doubt your love, or believe that you would think long
of my weakness; but I am innocent of the charge of dissimulation, and
never let us recur to the past"
She held out her hand, and clasping it in his, Mr. Stewart led her
away.
An hour later Mary lay with closed eyes, too weary, from
overexcitement, even to look about her. All had left the room, and a
dim light from the hearth just faintly lighted the large, comfortless
apartment. With noiseless step Dr. Bryant entered, and seating himself
in the vacant chair, near Mary's sofa, bent forward that he might
look on the wan face of the sufferer. His heart ached as he noted the
painful alteration of the last week, and gently and softly he took one
of the thin white hands between his own. It was cold and damp, and,
while he pressed it, the dark blue eyes rested earnestly on his face.
"I hoped you were sleeping, did I wake you?" and he laid the hand
back, as she strove to withdraw it.
"No, I have not slept since morning."
"Oh! I am troubled at your constant suffering; is there anything I can
do for you?"
"No, thank you, Doctor, I wish nothing."
"All my arrangements are completed, and to-morrow I return to your
home. Can I deliver any message, or execute any commission?"
For a moment, Mary closed her eyes, then replied in a low voice:
"If you should see Inez, tell her to remember my gift at parting, and
thank her, in my name, for her many, many kindnesses." She paused, as
if gathering courage to say something more.
"And tell her, too, that ere many hours I shall be at rest. Tell her
I have no fear, nay more, that I have great hope, and that heaven is
opening for me. Let her prepare to join me, where there is no sorrow
nor parting."
There was a silence, as if each were communing with their own hearts.
"You go to-morrow, Dr. Bryant? Then you will not stay to see me die? I
am failing fast, and when you return, I shall have gone to that bourne
whence no traveler comes back to tell the tale. Let me thank you
now, for your unvarying kindness; many have been your services, and
a brother's care has ever followed me. Thank you; I appreciate your
kindness, and earnest and heartfelt is my prayer that you may be very
happy and blest on earth; and when you, too, come to die, may your
end be like mine--free from all fear, and may hope and joy attend your
last moments!"
Her breathing grew short, and large drops stood on her pure beautiful
brow.
He had bent his head upon his bosom while she spoke, but now he raised
it, and, taking her hand, clasped it warmly.
"Mary, Mary, if you knew what torture you inflicted, you would spare
me this!"
It was the first time he had called her Mary, and her pale lip
quivered.
"Forgive me, if I cause you pain!"
Bending forward, he continued, in a tone of touching sadness--"I had
determined, Mary, to keep my grief locked in my own heart, and never
to let words of love pass my lips. But the thought of parting with you
forever is more than I can bear. Oh! Mary, have you not seen for weeks
and months how I have loved you? Long ago, when first we met, a deep,
unutterable love stole into my heart. I fancied for a time that you
returned it, till the evening we met at my sister's, and you spoke
with such indifference of leaving me behind. I saw then I had
flattered myself falsely; that you entertained none save friendly
feelings toward me. Still, I thought in time you might learn to regard
me with warmer sentiments. So I hoped on till the evening of our last
ride, when your agitation led me to suppose you loved another. I saw
you meet Mr. Stewart, and was confirmed in my supposition. I gave up
all hope of ever winning your affection in return. Now I see my error
in believing for a moment that you felt otherwise to him than as a
brother, as the betrothed of your cousin. I know that you have never
loved him, and pardon my error. When I sought you just now, it was to
say good-by, and in absence and varied and exciting pursuits to shut
out from my heart the memory of my hopes and fears. Mary, your words
fill me with inexpressible anguish! Oh, you cannot know how blank and
dreary earth will seem when you are gone! I shall have no hope, no
incitement, no joy!"
As she listened to this confession, which a month before would have
brought the glow to her cheek and sparkle to her eye, she felt that
it came too late; still a perfect joy stole into her heart. She turned
her face toward him, and gently said:
"I am dying; and, feeling as I do, that few hours are allotted me, I
shall not hesitate to speak freely and candidly. Some might think me
deviating from the delicacy of my sex; but, under the circumstances, I
feel that I am not. I have loved you long, and to know that my love
is returned, is a source of deep and unutterable joy to me. You were
indeed wrong to suppose I ever regarded Mr. Stewart otherwise than as
Florry's future husband. I have never loved but one."
"Mary, can it be possible that you have loved me, when I fancied, of
late, that indifference, and even dislike, nestled in your heart? We
shall yet be happy! I thank God that we shall be so blest!" And he
pressed the thin hand to his lips.
"Do not deceive yourself. Your confession has come too late. I can
never be yours, for the hand of death is already laid upon me, and
my spirit will wing its way, ere long, home to God. Now that we
understand each other, and while I yet live, let us be as calm, as
happy as the circumstances allow. It may seem hard that I should be
taken when the future appears so bright, but I do not repine, neither
must you. God, ever good and merciful, sees that it is best I should
go, and we will not embitter the few hours left us by vain regrets."
Too feeble to speak more, she closed her eyes, while her breathing
grew painfully short.
Dr Bryant bent forward, and gently lifting her head, supported her
with his strong arm, and stroked off from her beautiful brow the
clustering hair. A long time she lay motionless, with closed eyes, and
bending his head, he pressed a long kiss on the delicately-chiseled
lips.
"O God! spare me my gentle angel Mary," he murmured, as looking on the
wan, yet lovely face, he felt that to yield her up was more than he
could bear.
At this moment Mrs. Carlton entered: he held out his hand, and drawing
her to his side, said, in a deep, tender tone:
"She is mine now, sister; thank God, that at last I have won her, and
pray with me that she may be spared to us both."
Fervently she pressed his hand, and a tear rolled down and dropped
upon it, as she bent down to kiss the sufferer. Gently he put her
back.
"She is wearied, and just fallen asleep; do not wake her."
He carefully depressed his arm that she might rest more easily. Mrs.
Carlton seated herself beside her brother, and whispered:
"You will not go to-morrow, Frank?"
"No, no; I will not leave her a moment. Ellen, does she seem very much
thinner since leaving home? I know she is very pale."
"Yes, Frank; she is fearfully changed within the last week."
"Oh, Ellen! if she should be taken from me;" and closer he drew his
arm, as though fearing some unseen danger.
"We must look to Heaven for her restoration, and God is good,"
answered his sister, turning away to conceal her tears.